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[The new bill will greatly boost the economy, and handle most of the other concerns this country is facing right now, so I do believe that this is for the better.]
[Is that really so?]
[Would I lie?]
I gave the TV an ear, that said, did I actually pay it any mind? No, not really. I was too engrossed in playing, downright gluing my eyes to the pocket-sized-screen. The time hath cometh, a new Saber had been released and for that-
“Onii-chan…”
That sounded a little…grumpy? Dear little sister, how could that be? What happened? I broke into a sweat or at least what felt like one. Kamakura even stood up from my stomach and left as he felt my shivers. Seriously, what sort of sin had I committed? Did I steal? Did I kill?
“Not even an inch…you haven’t stepped outside for a week already! Get out of the house! Exercise!”
(……That’s it?)
“Oh…I do my fair share of that.”
(Just in my room. I don’t really need to jog, right? Me?)
(I validate, me.)
“Walking and standing is not enough”.
Oh, her adorable pout, her hands rested on her waist side. How I wished for someone to make a painting of such eye candy. Though, if someone tried and ogled a bit too much, then they’d receive a good old socking.
“‘We only move when we need to’ Komachi. That’s the law of efficiency.”
(Ooooh…I should add that to the 108. I’ll stand by that, absolutely.)
“More like law of the slackers.”
(Ugh…)
When did she learn that? Seriously, I already had it coming, sure, and it was one of her charms…before.
(Now it just hurts. Where’d she get that from?)
“Komachi…I’m literally on cloud nine right now…”
“C’mon, you really need to leave.”
“That’s kinda hurting your brother…”
(Really, I can’t take this anymore. Oh no, I might cry…)
(...........)
(Sigh.)
(Was I really too much…even for her? Is this rock bottom? I get it, we’re siblings, it’s natural, it’d be instinct. But, maybe Komachi wasn’t an exception.)
“I don’t really need to go outside…do I?”
“Well-“
Before her lips could close, a ringing phone interrupted her. She pulled it from her pocket and gave it a look. Her quick typing was followed by five seconds of silence. She probably saw a reply and, in that moment, an instant chill went up my spine. For how I definitely, definitely knew what that smile meant.
“Onii-chan, I have something I want you to buy.”
“Eh?”
“See, my friends were talking about this new book, I want to check it out, can you buy it for me?”
“Is online not an option?”
(We’re from the same generation, but you get it right? It’s easy, it’s effective. So much so that everyone’s doing it now. In this day and age, you definitely wouldn’t bother with going out anymore, so why bother me?)
“Online sales are sold out.”
(Heh.)
I couldn’t help but cackle dryly. It was just comical.
“Anyway, go to Sanseido Sogo, I think they have them there.”
“Uhhh…maybe next time?”
(I’m a little busy.)
She immediately became quiet. For a second, I thought it was an achievement. Really? I actually did it? Whoa! Really? For just a moment, I was drowning in my own accomplishment, but then:
“Onii-chan.”
“Hmm?”
Her murmur was low, but it absolutely sounded off in my ears. Giving her my full attention, she slanted forward and drew her face closer to mine. Her eyes were shut. Her plumping lips, added with the meek whisper:
“Please?”
Her hands locked together. Those wide eyes, moist and teary. If she ever dropped a tear, I’d follow the perp who did it to the ends of the earth! It seemed I'd caught him. There he was, tucking like a turtle and awkwardly avoiding her gaze.
I peeked again, I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Ehhhh…alright, fine, I’ll go. I’m also out of beer.”
It was the finishing blow. I felt like sad dough, whatever that felt like. While I was there losing the will to stand up, she was bouncing around and cheering.
“Yay! Also, you should try and use your bike. You left it at school and it’s been a decade since I last took it out.”
“You’re not using it?”
“I was told not to, saying ‘If it was just your brother, then we’d let him, but not you’ and listening to them, they made a fair point through you as an example.”
(Cruel.)
.
.
.
“I’m leaving.”
“See you later.”
I took it out, and while it’d take a lot just to get it back to looking clean again, it wasn’t a bad way to kill time. At least it wasn’t dusty anymore. The rusting wasn’t too severe either. It even gave it a nostalgic aura. The homely feeling it gave off as I caressed its handle, not gonna lie, it was more charming than ever. I nodded slightly.
(Old friend.)
There was a lingering feeling once I sat on it. That experience, I couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but I didn’t need to. I kept touching it, feeling it, so much so that I couldn’t help but admit it. It was creepy alright.
(If Komachi saw this…)
(If she saw this…)
A chill crawled up my spine. I looked around to see if anybody saw me.
(Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.)
I shirked it off. There wasn’t a need to be concerned…right? Anyway, as my foot pushed and boosted me forward and I pressed on the pedal, I set off. The morning breeze wafting to the side as I cut through the air, a refreshing sensation, increasing in intensity as each second passed.
The whooshing susurrance added with the chains circling with each pedal and the random faint noises in the background. It was a weird feeling of self-consciousness. Here was a soon-to-be thirty year old wandering around the neighborhood like a kid making his own adventure. I wasn’t going straight to my destination yet, I was trying to prolong the journey, even for a little bit, that’s how it went.
The wonder that a child would feel. Honestly, there wasn’t too much of it, needless to say, it could’ve been considered being too numb, but no, that wasn’t the case, or was it?
(I don’t know.)
I was still in the midst of thought, I didn’t know, yet without prior notice, there was an aching crash on my left shoulder. I realized: I almost crashed and I scraped my shoulder with a house’s wall. I didn’t fall, fortunate as it was, but I felt a slight burning sensation. My clothes weren’t torn, no scratches, no bleeding, but it still hurt.
(Walk it off.)
(This is nothing compared to-hmm?)
I looked down and tensed up. I remembered now, my wrist did crash as well, yet nothing. No aching, nothing. So, why? I twisted my wrist, it was then that I saw.
(Oh.)
(Oh...)
I continued staring at it blankly. The vintage leather passé, with exposé of deterioration, but it was natural and made it more appealing. The old timey feel wasn’t a problem, quite the contrary, but that added scratch on my watch, I clenched my teeth. I felt a stab to the heart.
*Sigh*
No joke.
“I’m so sorry…..”
I unfastened and stripped it from my wrist and gently placed it in my pocket. Wearing it was no longer an option that I'd take. No more. I took in a lung full of air. And went back to pedaling.
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.
.
(Here we are.)
I caught a whiff of that papyrus flavor after entering, there was a hint of manufacturing within it, regardless, it was charming. I remembered what she wanted, the name, and what it looked like. When I strolled around, I found a pile displayed on a table.
(Package secured.)
It was in my hands and I was prepared to leave, yet in spite of that. I haven't.
(………)
The nearby shelves, it was hard to ignore, I wanted it. I was really trying to chain myself. It wasn’t the time for that, I also had some other things I needed to buy. Plus, what if Komachi was already waiting for me? I couldn’t allow that.
(……..)
(You know what? Why not?)
Figuratively speaking, it was like I broke the chains I put on myself, and though it lingered in my mind, I was too busy with other things. I marched with such enthusiasm, it was like sprinting to a Dagashiya. Oh, the old days. How nostalgic, holding little Komachi’s hand with mine whilst pointing at candy with the other, but there were limits, i.e. budgeting. Now, however, there was none of that, no need to hold back. Perhaps I could get a few for myself.
(Let’s see…)
(Sci-fi?)
(Action?)
(Maybe not now.)
I took my time, making my way through each shelf. No rush. There was a part of me that wanted to, but I shrugged it off.
(Comedy?)
Unhurried and gradually inching my way to my left, I pointed my finger to anything that caught my eye. So far, there was nothing.
(Drama?)
(Ehhh…meh.)
(Romance?-)
Then a finger came into view, but the thing was, it wasn’t mine. It was smaller, paler. It was much, much, much more smooth and soft looking. When I glanced to my side, I saw.
“Ah.”
“Ah.”
It was her.
Fit with a milky short sleeve midi dress, it was an exquisite choice for summer attire. Embroidered with amethyst asters at its hem and the skirt slightly slit. Her supple legs were modestly exposed. The white heels made her an inch taller and a small blue bag dangled from her shoulder. It went really, really, well and it showed.
Her plush cheeks embedded a natural tint of temperate lush onto her face. Not a full vermillion yet visible nonetheless. Back then, I was mesmerized by those eyes that shined radiantly under the store light. Such a beautifully piercing blue. Normally, if one saw those eyes they’d revere her and commit dogeza, but not me, I was unfazed. Have I succumbed to numbness? No, it wasn’t that, it was different, even now, I continued to stare. My jaw was probably agape.
That forever smooth and silky hair, perhaps ‘forever’ was an exaggeration. Though it didn’t feel like one, as I couldn’t find any other word fit to describe it. It fell straight and smoothly to her waist. Jet-black, obsidian, raven, any of those could've been accurate.
Fair with a smooth creamy texture, her skin exhibited a soft feel just from appearances. Those glossy lips were surrounded by a pale face, making them even more of an eye catcher. Light in the make-up department, though, it was a faint opal.
In any area I directed my eyes, as long as she was in view, I immediately lost control and stared, it was as if they were magnetically inclined to stare. She'd be akin to a Greek statue when she went still. Hera, Athena, Aphrodite, Demeter, Artemis, Hestia and anyone else in that Pantheon, that was her.
“Hikigaya-kun?”
I was finally tugged back to reality by her voice. With an ounce of suspicion, her left eye squinted. She did her classic pose, placing her hand on her chin with her arm supporting the other as if she was in thought.
“Oh? What are you doing here?”
I realized that it was stupid. I raised my open palm over my eyes, lowering my head to avoid eye contact.
"Wait, no, that was dumb.”
“Ufufu.”
She closed her eyes and hid her lips behind one hand. What a prim and proper giggling gesture.
“It’s impressive that I didn’t need to point it out.”
The most I did was clench my fist a bit. I didn’t grumble, but I really wanted to. It was the want to “scream the top of my lungs off” with some occasional swearing kind of feeling. I wouldn’t, there wasn’t any reason to, and I couldn’t, considering where I was. It was the laughing at my dumb remark routine. It couldn’t be helped.
“Let me rephrase that. Day off?”
I went in light, but straight forward. Her eyes were shut as her lips curved even more.
“Ufufu, I suppose you could say that.”
“Why did she need to laugh?” My face spelled the question out for me.
“And you?”
Now it was her turn, huh. With that somewhat haughty tilt of the head, she was glancing at me, interested.
“It’s exactly what it looks like.”
I raised the book in my hand enough for her to notice. She had that “Oh?” reaction, where she wasn’t too surprised but her eyes were honest.
“What happened to Hikikomori-kun? Did he die?”
“Wrong.”
I raised it again.
“Komachi wanted this, but I’m also picking something for myself.”
Hearing that, she closed her eyes and sported a satisfied smile.
“I can at least see that.”
After that, it was quiet, or it felt that way. In here, I wouldn’t dare inconvenience anyone, and none dared to do so to me, a mutual understanding. Though, the peeling of pages naturally resounded all throughout the store. But that wasn’t important, what was important was how, in my ears, her breath blasted like a speaker with the volume turned up.
We had a fair amount of distance. She wasn't whispering into my ear, but it came across as just that, as though her lips were practically grazing my ear. Was I thinking too much about it? Maybe, and sure, it was creepy, but I couldn’t ignore it either.
I took a peek at her. Holding a book in one hand, she flipped the pages with the other. Her pale, snow-like skin, her small, delicate fingers, her pink polished nails. Oh crap! I was staring too much, and so I turned back, grabbing a book of my own.
Even when I did, the scent coming off from her was so strong I was practically intoxicated. What shampoo did she use? It was quite the aroma, so much so that I realized that I needed to stop. I had to shake it off my head immediately. I flipped through the pages, skimming it just to get the bare minimum info.
Seconds felt like minutes. The moment truly felt like an eternity. I squinted more and more with a hint of annoyance. I finally tried to actually read it rather than merely skimming, but the words were somewhat unclear. Was that a B? Or was it a D? For some reason, the words were a bit too shadowed. I already knew why, from the start actually, but I squinted even more, it started to be manageable, still-
“Trouble seeing?”
“Somewhat.”
“Then, your glasses?”
“Left them.”
“At home?”
“No.”
“I see.”
The fact of the matter was that I never really used them too much up until recently, maybe a year prior? Give or take. I never needed them really and so I left them there.
“Then why not get a new one?”
“Don’t really need it. I can always just borrow.”
“Is that so?”
We didn’t say anything else after that. I still turned pages, but the truth was, I wasn’t actually concentrating on the book. I didn’t even know what I was reading.
Eventually I did find something that piqued my interest, and so I went and paid for both books. She also bought something, it was a kind of novella small enough to fit in her bag. We both left at the same time.
“Well then, I will see you later.”
“Yeah.”
From there, we parted. I turned back and glanced at her shrinking figure, she didn’t look my way at all. I shrugged it off and rode away on my bike.
.
.
.
On the highway, I accelerated and pedaled harder and faster. The momentum was remarkably exhilarating. I let go of the handles and stretched my arms. The wind gracefully brushed against my skin. I wasn’t feeling too anxious, even knowing that I could fall any second.
After a minute or two, I came across a Seven Eleven. It was then that I parked my bike near the entrance and entered.
.
.
“Please come again.”
The *Ding Ding* that rang as I left, it had been a while since I heard it. I placed the plastic bag into the basket and rode even further.
.
.
I had that deadpan stare of a person who hadn’t stood up from laying on his couch for hours on end in front of his TV. One of these days, I was really gonna get hit by a truck.
My senses came back, luckily. I needed to be careful and steady, but I needed to do it. To shake off the feeling, I took some sharp turns to get my fill of adrenaline, at least enough to get her off my mind. It annoyingly added an extra ten minutes to my ride.
.
.
.
Once I got out of the hustle and bustle, I was in the suburbs. By the time I made it here, it was already afternoon and the sun had started to really heat me up. Here I was, being grilled like Unagi. No, I couldn’t be that expensive, I was definitely more along the lines of some cheap grocery tuna.
It’d been five hours since breakfast, the feeling I was getting right now was akin to starving to death. But that made me even more excited to get back, that and also:
(This is a breeze.)
When I was nearly there, however…
“Ah.”
“Ah.”
There she was, a considerable distance of fifteen meters. Now, she held a black umbrella that made her harder to notice since she was hidden by the shadows. Still, I knew it was her.
The porcelain doll-esque skin, the charcoal black hair, and lastly, having the same dress was a total give away, so it had to be her. Nice work, Detective. Nonetheless, with that figured out, I knew that only she could be a bishoujo of such caliber.
Then, there was something else that hit me:
(Isn’t this my neighborhood?)
I went a little closer to her.
“Now I really have to ask what you’re doing here.”
I had that sort of grin that was saying “Yeah, uh, you’re normally not supposed to be here. “. Was it awkward? Slightly, perhaps, yes, but all in all, I really wanted to know why she was here.
“For Komachi-san, is there a problem with that?”
“No.”
None at all. Can't argue if there wasn't an argument. I thought she just didn’t find her way. After all, she wasn’t the keenest navigator, but I suppose there was also that option.
(Huh.)
She began to walk once again, I momentarily watched her. At any rate, I stood up from my bike and trekked like a dehydrated hiker. While pushing it along, I slowly reached her and slowly matched her pace.
Again, I ogled and saw something new. She held a small, gray paper bag. It didn’t look cheap, it could be from a name brand. As much as I observed though, I couldn’t tell. Given how it swayed, resembling a leaf in the air, whatever was in it had to be light. Perhaps it was…no, probably not, maybe it was for Komachi? I didn’t know, I couldn’t be sure, and I couldn’t ask.
“Ufufu, I’m looking forward to today.”
Her whisper was obstructed by the ticking chains of my bike and the other noises around the neighborhood. In spite of that, I heard it. Wondering what it meant, I stared fixedly at her and, clearly in thought, I resembled a statue with how serious my face appeared.
But what caught me off guard and eventually got my attention was when she took some sideways steps and drew nearer to me, her umbrella now shading me. It was enough for the two of us. And there I was making a muted gasp. There wasn’t actually one, but it was the gesture. It was my face. I thought, “Why?”
(Don't let it get to your head.)
.
.
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.
.
I opened the door. The lights were out and it was quiet…too quiet. Whether it was me expecting Komachi’s welcome or wondering if she left, something didn’t feel right.
I slowly entered. Up and down, side to side, I checked each corner. All of her shoes were still there. Was she in her room? I thought so, and then I saw three new pairs of shoes.
(Were those two back for something? With a coworker? Probably not…)
“Pardon the intrusion.”
Yukinoshita followed as she closed the door. I gently placed the books on the cabinet nearby, but even as I did that, my eyes were still glued to those shoes. Two women's pairs and one guy, one of them looked rather expensive, the other had a little too much style to be Mom’s, and I don’t think those were Dad’s size.
While she was taking her shoes off, I went and looked up the staircase. I didn’t know if there was anything to see upstairs, I just wanted to look.
(Is it those two again? Fourth time already, c'mon…)
(Maybe Komachi’s coworkers? If so, she would’ve told me…)
(A guy's pair…)
(Maybe…probably…)
All of a sudden, there were thumping sounds coming from the living room. Footsteps, perhaps? A whole heap of them. Just one set couldn't possibly be enough.
Pacing my breath, slow and easy, each step I took making the least amount of noise possible. I made sure not to accidentally bump into anything.
(Woman!)
Though everything I was doing was for naught. She kept walking like normal, as if she didn’t notice anything wrong. But then, she stopped. She wouldn’t even open the living room door. It was guilty of being paradoxical. She'd acted oblivious and now this. But why?
Did she finally notice? Did she finally get the jitters? Maybe she wanted me to do it? If that was the case, then sure. “Step aside.” I gestured to her. I still held onto the plastic bag. In the worst case scenario, I'd at least be loaded. The book could've been the better choice, but the beer was something advantageous: Ammo. It wouldn't matter if it got a little messy.
I was ready, slowly breathing, slowly exhaling. And so, here I was, all serious, all prepared for anything and everything, that kind of thing. While there she was, right beside me, with a full smile. The blissful smile coupled with her calm gaze acted as a comforting calmative. It gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling that, for a moment, honestly got me flustered. “Is this a joke?” I wanted to scold her, but not now. Instead, I held the door knob, and twisted it.
And as soon as it fully opened: