WHEN I PULLED AWAY first, after feeling awkward for hugging too long, Jesse had a look in his eye. I wouldn't go as far as longing, but the surprising emotion was pretty close.
I wrung my hands as I stood inches away from him, unsure of how to proceed. Do I just say goodnight? Or thank him for telling me the prophecy? Should I give him another hug while I say goodnight?
My frantic, buzzing thoughts could be blamed on my lack of experience interacting with crushes. Unfortunately, due to moving around so much, I rarely had the chance to act on my attraction. Let alone build a relationship with them.
Jesse's lips pulled up in amusement as he observed my unease. "You done thinking yet?"
Out of all the wolves, I spent the most time with Jesse. I had slowly begun to pick up his signs and cues, and he mine. My cheeks reddened as he noticed my cluelessness, but I fired back a response. A pathetic one at that.
"You're confusing me by your lack of action."
His small smile transformed into a full-blown, boyish grin. "What do you want me to do? Kiss you?" he joked.
I froze and felt myself tense. Every little movement either felt too big, robotic, or both. My breathing was too loud and heavy. My heart was pounding too fast.
The voice in my head was screaming yes, not seeming to realise Jesse only meant it as a joke. I guess my sassy companion hadn't caught up to reality yet. But still, a small – by small I mean very large – part of me wanted it. Wanted him to kiss me. Thus, my internal panic attack.
Jesse must've seen the alarm in my eye, as he too, suddenly felt nervous. The grin disappeared from his face, and the look from earlier came back. More prominent this time.
"Goodnight, I guess," he rubbed his neck.
Just as I turned to enter my room, Jesse gently grabbed my elbow. I turned back to look questioningly at him.
He was millimetres away, his breath fanning my cheek. I sucked in a deep breath.
"I hope you have a good night," he whispered. What he did next made all the air in my lungs escape.
His moist, slightly chapped but soft lips brushed against my cheek. Does this count as a kiss?
The voice inside me was screaming, nearly drowning out my hearing and vision.
Stepping back, Jesse gave me a vulnerable smile which made me like him all the more possible.
The door finally clicked shut, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I could feel Jesse and my relationship slowly changing. Changing from companionship to something more.
"Maybe it's you who wants something more," the voice has been ever chatty since the maybe-kiss.
You've got to admit you want more just as much as I do. If not by tenfold.
"Because it's meant to be and I'm tired of waiting."
The multitude of hidden meanings conveyed by the voice confused me, but I too was tired. Too tired to delve too deep and worry myself to oblivion. I'll deal with this tomorrow.
***
A/N:
Cringy, I know.
I apologise if you're mind-blownby the amount of clichéness this chapter holds.
Sometimes, I read otherbooks' comments and get bombarded by "this is too cliché" comments and howWattpad female main characters are always the same: oblivious, slow to changesin her surroundings and basic.
I used to, and still, agree.
But as I'm starting to write, I'm realising how difficult it is to break away from this stereotype. Plenty of authors might not encounter this problem with their characters, but I certainly do and now hold another level of respect for authors who have oblivious female main characters.
You guys have been great and super supportive so far and I'm forever appreciative for that.
But I cannot see into the future and make sure it stays this way. I'm all for constructive criticism, but if you want to criticise my work, please... just be conscious that there is a person behind the screen, trying hard to write content in hopes of impressing her readers.
Love you guys and I'll try to update more regularly now that I have my beloved computer again.
-Hilda
Chapter 21: any date between 15august2022 and 20august2022, after I come back from Canada and stay happy (or not) in quarantine.