I stayed in the shower for a long time. So long, in fact, that I was half expecting Rocco to come barging in, telling me to hurry up. Or at least bashing on the door and yelling at me through the door. But he didn't. So I just stayed in my shower, letting the hot water rush over me. Relaxing me. Washing away my fears.
It helped, and when I turned off the spray and stepped out to get dressed, I felt a lot better. About everything.
Jack was sitting on my bed waiting for me when I exited the bathroom and he stood up and took my hand as soon as I stepped foot in my bedroom.
"Come downstairs, Rocco is waiting for us."
I shook my head and tugged on Jack's hand. "Just wait. Please?"
Jack halted for a moment.
"Why is he so angry? I don't understand," I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.
"He wasn't so much angry, as scared," Jack told me. "Rocco has always channeled his fear, any emotions really, into anger. He thought you really were drowning, and that scared him so much."
"Oh." I nodded in understanding. That made sense, I supposed.
"So what is he going to do to me?" I asked.
Jack reached out and swept a stray lock of hair off my forehead and smiled gently.
"Just have a chat, I think. Don't worry."
I couldn't help but worry, though, and as I went downstairs hand-in-hand with Jack, the butterflies in my tummy took flight, fluttering faster and harder the closer I got to what felt like my impending doom.
Rocco was out on the patio again, a beer in his hand, and Logan was nowhere to be seen. Damn. I was kinda hoping Logan would be there, to perhaps distract Rocco for me, so he would maybe forget all of this ever happened and I could just go back to being the annoying kid sister, not the naughty in-trouble one.
Rocco looked up as Jack and I approached. He'd gotten changed into a long-sleeved shirt that stretched tight across his body, outlining his bulging muscles. I gulped. He still looked grumpy, and almost as stern as Damon, and a shiver went down my spine. Usually, Rocco's sheer power, his strong body, made me feel protected and safe. Like nothing, or nobody, would be able to get past him to hurt me. But right now, with his scowl directed at me, and his face schooled into stern features, I didn't feel safe at all. I knew, without a doubt, that Rocco could so easily hurt me if he chose to. Actually, he could probably hurt me quite a lot just by accident, without even trying. That knowledge filled me with fear.
Jack let go of my hand and pushed me towards the patio table, telling me to sit down, but I quickly grabbed hold of him and shot him a pleading look.
"Please stay!" I begged. "Please don't leave me alone!"
"You're not alone," Jack told me. "Rocco is here with you."
My fingers tightened around his arm and I silently begged him with everything in me.
But Jack wouldn't budge. He gently disentangled my fingers and looked down at me.
"You're not in trouble with me, sweetheart. You're in trouble with Rocco. You need to face up to that."
But I didn't want to. No way did I want to!
Rocco stood up and I instantly grabbed hold of Jack again.
"I'm sorry I got so angry at you Carrie. I didn't mean to frighten you," Rocco said softly, his voice deep and low. "I was scared you were actually drowning. It was a pretty scary thing. So that's why we need to have a chat. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."
Jack gave me an encouraging smile. "See? You'll be fine. And I'll be just inside, not far away.
I look at them, doubtful. Now that Jack and Rocco are standing side by side, I can see how much bigger than Jack Rocco actually is. He's slightly taller, he's broader, and he's a lot more built. Rocco looks way stronger than Jack is. If Rocco was going to hurt me, I'm pretty sure Jack wouldn't be able to stop him. I know both of them had just promised that Rocco wouldn't hurt me, but sometimes, my brain just freaked out. Just because normal people wouldn't be afraid in certain situations, didn't mean I wouldn't be afraid.
But Jack didn't let me think about that for any longer, he just turned around and walked off, and at the same time, Rocco put his hands around my waist and lifted me up to sit on the table so that we were closer to eye level. He perched next to me on the edge of it, with one foot dangling and one foot on the ground, and cupped my chin in his big hand, tilting my face to look at him. When he wasn't towering over me, he was far less scary, and I was able to breathe again.
"I want you to tell me why pretending to drown was a bad idea, Carrie." He let go of my chin but kept looking at me sternly.
Immediately I looked down, but he lifted my chin up again.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he growled.
I wanted to tell him that he wasn't talking to me, he'd stopped and was waiting for me to answer, but something told me that wouldn't be a very good idea. Not at the moment anyway, when I was already in trouble with my big, scary brother.
I shrugged.
"Think about it, Carrie. Why was it a bad idea?"
"I don't know." I rolled my eyes. It would help us both, quite a lot, if he just went ahead and told me what was so wrong with it, because I truly had no idea.
"Have a think," he told me, condescension mixed with his stern tone.
"I don't fucking know!" I cried. "If I knew, I'd tell you!"
That was clearly a bad move. I know Rocco doesn't like me or Logan swearing, but it just kinda slipped out. I mean, I'd told him already that I didn't know why it was bad to pretend to drown, why couldn't he just accept that and tell me what the problem was?
His face darkened and in a flash, he flicked the back of his finger against my mouth. Just the one finger, his middle one I think, that he'd rested on his thumb and flicked against me, and immediately, tears sprang into my eyes. It wasn't that it hurt badly or anything, but it stung a little bit and it was shocking. Plus it felt a bit like a betrayal, considering he'd just promised me he wasn't going to hurt me.
"Don't swear," he growled.
"You lied to me!" I accused him angrily. "You said you wouldn't hurt me and you did!"
"I did not hurt you," Rocco argued. "I flicked you for swearing."
"It hurt!"
"Barely," he scoffed. "You know not to swear. I don't know why you would even do it when you're already in trouble."
"Why are you being mean to me?" I whimpered, blinking back my tears.
"I'm not being mean to you," Rocco growled. "I'm trying to talk to you, and you're being a shit and rolling your eyes and swearing at me." He put his finger under my chin and forced me to look at him again. "We both know you wouldn't do that to Damon. And we both know what would happen if you did."
Rocco kept eye contact with me, staring at me hard, like he was almost daring me to argue. But I didn't, because he was right. Damon didn't tolerate disrespect. At all.
"But you're not Damon," I said grumpily, doing my best to avoid his hard gaze. "Damon at least tells me why I'm in trouble when I don't have a clue," I grumbled. "You're just expecting me to guess."