I look at him in surprise, not understanding what he means. What other ways of hunger are there than food? He also seems uncomfortable to have admitted it. Am I so naive that I don't understand?
'What do you mean?' I ask. When I ask that, realisation sets in. Blood. How can I forget that he is a vampire? It remains an unrealistic thing in my mind. I've been taught that vampires are bloodthirsty killers, but I've never seen that with Novak. I've never seen him drink blood anyway. The idea isn't very appealing either.
'Ooh, never mind,' I murmur somewhat embarrassedly. How are we going to solve this problem? Being on the road with a hungry vampire doesn't sound like a good idea. We still have days of walking ahead of us and the chances of running into anyone are very slim. What would it be like to be bitten by a vampire? Would it hurt a lot? Is it deadly? Strangely enough, I am curious.
'What is it like to be bitten?' Novak looks up from his lap. His blue eyes look at me in surprise. He obviously hadn't seen that question coming.
'Uuhm. I've never been bitten so I don't know from experience. From what I've heard, it only hurts for a short while. I've also heard that it can feel euphoric, but that's not always the case,' he replies. I just nod. Is it weird if the idea makes me curious rather than anxious? I think it should frighten me more than it does now.
In a way, the idea of Novak biting me is not so crazy. There is no prospect of a situation where we would run into someone. The fact that he is already losing control like that frightens me more than a bite. It takes a while before I have weighed the pros and cons. He could kill me, hurt me. On the other hand, a hungry vampire might be more dangerous than a bite.
'Bite me,' I finally say. Novak raises his head, which had been pointed at the ground again. He looks at me in amazement and immediately shakes his head.
'No, absolutely not,' he replies. I sigh.
'Why not? How else do you think we're going to get through the next few days. I may not know much about vampires, but I do know that they are not at their best when they are hungry. Besides, you weren't enjoying yourself today,' I remind him. I don't want today's Novak around me anymore. His moody attitude, impossible to have a conversation with and aggressive. If I can help him by hurting him for a second, I'd rather do it.
'I can lose control, kill you. I'm really not going to take that risk.' I understand Novak's point of view, although I still stand by my opinion. I slide closer to him and put my hand on his thigh. He looks at me from under his eyelashes.
'I'd rather be hurt for a second than walk around with a hungry vampire for days. You need food, I can give it to you. I trust you,' I tell him sincerely. He gently puts his hand on mine. Again he shakes his head.
'No Cell, no way,' he answers firmly. If he doesn't do it voluntarily, I'll force him. I get down on my knees. Slowly, I push his hands off his lap. He looks at me, not understanding, as I sit on his lap. I put my hands around his neck, catching his eyes in mine. What I am doing now is completely out of my comfort zone, although it feels good. It feels powerful, in control and not uncomfortable.
'What are you doing?' he asks softly. I let my hands slide slowly through his hair, down his neck and over his shoulders. He closes his eyes. I smile at the sight. Slowly I put my lips against his neck. I remind myself how Novak did this to me. I try to copy his actions.
At first, I press my lips gently against his neck, searching for what to do. As soon as he grips my hips tightly and tilts his head more, I assume I am doing something right. That gives me confidence to put more pressure behind my lips.
'Cell,' leaves his mouth in a deep voice. I grin. When I hit a spot where he grips me tighter by my hips, I begin to gently suck on his skin. I never thought I would enjoy pleasuring a man, but here we are, and I enjoy it. In the position I am in, I feel everything, really everything. It's not the first time I've seen or felt Novak get hard, through his trousers that is. Although he has seen me naked a few times, it hasn't happened the other way round yet. I know he is waiting for me to take that step and I appreciate it. As much as I like this, I started this for another reason. My lips slide over his skin to his ear. Gently I bite his earlobe.
'Bite me,' I whisper hoarsely in his ear. Don't get me wrong, this is not a weird kink. I know by now that he lets go, or forgets, his control at times like this. So what happens next shouldn't surprise me.
Yet I am startled as soon as I feel his sharp fangs against the skin of my neck. Novak seems to hesitate for a second until I wrap my arms tighter around his neck. I feel his tense muscles. I feel the duel.
'Tell me when to stop,' is the last thing he says before I feel the two fangs sliding into my skin. It stings, literally and figuratively. I gasp in pain and grab him by the hair. My teeth are clamped together. It feels strange to feel someone drinking your blood. I mustn't dwell on it too much.
The fact that he wraps his arms tighter around my waist and completely relaxes his body against mine make the small amount of pain negligible. I run my hand through his hair.
Suddenly Novak bites deeper into my skin. At first it feels like two knives are being stabbed through my skin. I want to push him away from me until it turns into a sensation I have never felt before. My whole body heats up. My head becomes a blur and my body tingles. The greatest pleasure I have ever felt races through my body.
I squeeze his hair hard and let out a moan. All the control and discomfort I have seems to have flown away in the wind. I push my hips closer to his. This feels better than any sexual act ever. It feels a little uncomfortable to admit that that same familiar feeling is beginning to rise in my lower abdomen. This can't be the euphoric feeling Novak described earlier, it feels too good for that. I'm just not able to think about it for long.
My head is in such a daze that I barely realise I'm starting to move my hips against his. I don't keep any sound inside, even if I wanted to. That feeling in my lower belly has never built up so quickly, not that I have any sense of time.
'God,' I moan as I sit on the edge. Novak sucking hard on my skin once and pushing me closer to him with his other arm is enough to push me over the edge. All my muscles tighten, my body shakes, my eyes squeeze shut hard and my hands grip his hair tightly.
I haven't had many orgasms in my life, but this one tops them all. My body now collides with Novak's. This seems to be the sign for him to start his own orgasm. That seems to be the sign for him to take his teeth out of my neck.
I feel light-headed, my muscles heavy. My forehead rests on his shoulder. If a vampire bite always feels like this, he may bite me more often. Novak gently grabs my cheeks and takes my head off his shoulder. Two red eyes stare at me. His lips are covered in my black blood.
'Are you alright? Did I hurt you a lot? Are you nauseous? Do you feel light-headed?' he rattles on. My cheeks turn red with embarrassment when I realise what just happened. Didn't he notice? Yes, I do feel a bit light-headed, but I don't know if that's just because of the blood loss.
'I'm...fine,' I reply, a little uncomfortably. The worried look on his face changes to a playful grin. He bends his head towards my neck again. I want to ask him what he's going to do, but before I can say anything I feel his tongue run over the bite mark. Immediately I grab him by his shoulder and close my eyes. My whole body warms up again. Tingles fly down my spine.
'I think it's better than good,' he says. I open my eyes and look at him. There is a grin from ear to ear on his lips. Embarrassed and laughing, I slap him against his chest.