Heyyyyy, here I am with the new chapter. I decided to upload it now because I promised and didn't want to disappoint you guys.
But be aware that there are still a lot of mistakes because I didn't proofread it yet. I will do so tomorrow because I won't be able to finish it today.
For those who can't wait, feel free to start reading :)
Edit: I edited the chapter and there should be fewer mistakes than before :)
Enjoy reading <3 <3
Wei Ying's POV
Wang Ji escorted me back to my palace and no one spoke a word there was nothing to say anyway. But I felt that Wang Ji was in a very bad mood and it worried me. I've never seen Wang Ji this angry, especially not at Lan Huan.
He loved his brother but I knew that he liked me as well. For him, it must feel like being trapped in a fight between his brothers and I didn't want him to go through that. I didn't want to destroy their relationship.
"Thank you, Wang Ji." I thanked him once we arrived at the palace. Lan Huan was not yet back.
"Mhn..." Wang Ji turned around and was about to leave but because I had a bad feeling I called him back.
"Wang Ji..." He turned to me and waited. "I know you are angry at him. I feel relieved that there is someone else who realized what Lan Huan did is wrong. Thank you for listening to me and... and for being on my side. But please.... don't do anything, don't confront him, don't ... please let me handle it on my own. This is something I have to handle."
Wang Ji looked at me and when I saw his eyes softening up I sighed in relief, knowing he would follow my plea.
"Don't go easy on him, Wei Ying." I gaped at him hearing the tone of his voice. It was a plea and a bit of advice, yet it also sounded like a warning.
"I won't." I agreed and after looking at me for a long time the corner of his lips lifted into a small smile and he bowed to me before leaving.
I watched him until he was gone and felt strangely lost. That was until I heard Wen Ning's voice.
"What are you going to do, your highness?" He asked in a small voice and I turned to him.
"Confront him head-on. I won't let him so as he pleases anymore, not as long as he sleeps in the same room as I." I answered and entered the bedroom.
Wen Ning followed me and watched him looking around the room.
"Wen Ning, please pack up everything that belongs to Lan Huan and send it to another bedroom. But not the closest one to here."
Wen Ning widened his eyes but nodded. "Yes, your highness."
I signaled him to start and was about to sit on the bed but decided not to until the sheets were exchanged. So I sat on the windowsill and looked outside. I wanted to stroke my womb like usual but my flat stomach reminded me of what I had lost a few days ago.
I knew that my emotional despair had killed my daughter, no, actually I killed my daughter. She didn't even have a name yet ... Because of my carelessness, she died.
"I am so sorry...." I whispered and continued to stroke my stomach while trying my best to hold back my tears. It was clear to me that I won't have any children again in my life. Losing more children would kill me.
Thinking about children I missed my three daughters. My oldest daughter is probably as old as I am by now... living in the mortal realm, the time was moving faster and she moved there a few years ago.
I sighed.
"You highness, the stuff has been moved." Wen Ning approached me with a cup. "I made you some tea."
"Already?" I asked and accepted the cup of tea with a smile. "Thank you."
"I heard that his highness the crown prince is on his way...." Wen Ning said carefully and I nodded. I was scared to confront him and I am not sure how I will feel afterward but.... I knew it had to be done.
After a few minutes, Lan Huan entered the room. "Wei Ying? You-!?" He saw me sitting at the windowsill and hurried up to me. "You are out of bed? How are you feeling?"
"Wen Ning, let us alone."
"But your highness....-"
"It's okay. Leave. I will call you if I need you." I smiled at him and nodded in defeat before leaving Lan Huan and me alone.
I decided to stay seated and looked up at him. "I am feeling better," I answered his question. He crouched in front of me and held my hand.
"Thank god!" He moved my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. I took my hand away right away.
"Where have you been? It took you long to return. Long enough for me to have a walk, visit your brother's palace, have a conversation with him, and return here."
"I....." He stopped and I waited, hoping he would tell me the truth now. I knew I decided to confront him before he could confess but out of love for him, I decided to give him another chance. Just one more chance for him to confess.
"At my father's palace." I waited while looking at him. "As you heard earlier someone is pregnant. The family will get an additional member. The doctors discovered the pregnancy yesterday and the seer determined the gender today. It's a boy." He smiled but didn't meet my eyes.
I almost laughed. How could I not see what happened around me when he was behaving so obviously? I was truly blind...
"Who is pregnant?" I asked him.
"Someone at my father's palace."
"I know but who?"
"Why do you want to know?" He asked me and managed to look into my eyes. That was the moment I stopped hoping to get a confession. He wouldn't.
"Because I loved you," I answered. "I loved you so much that I ... well, I hoped would be honest with me. I was waiting for you to be honest, to tell me what you have done all the time but it seems no matter how much I wait, you won't confess, will you?"
Lan Huan frowned and his aura became dark. "Wei ... Ying?"
"How is she?"
"Who?"
"Wen Qing. How is she? It's her first pregnancy, isn't it? I bet she must be overjoyed. She is carrying the future emperor after all. You have to take good care of her."
Lan Huan jumped up and looked at me in shock. "Wei Ying!?"
"Yes, I know. I knew for a while now but it seems I wasn't obvious enough for you to realize it." I said and stood up as well. "How could you do this to me, Lan Huan? Because I didn't give you a son? Am I, are my feelings not important to you compared to a son?"
"No, Wei Ying, I-"
"You what?! What other reason than that exists!?"
"Wei Ying, please. I didn't want to do it. I don't even love her. But my-"
"You cheated on me with someone you don't love? That makes it even worse! You will have a child, a son who will inherit the throne someday, with someone you don't love. Do you believe if you say that I will feel better!?"
"My father forced me, Wei Ying. I was against it but his health was getting worse. I had to agree to it so he won't get any sicker."
"LAN HUAN!"
"I know! I know this is no excuse. What I have done is wrong. I am sorry, Wei Ying. I-"
"A simple sorry won't help you. How could you betray me like this? I knew.... even if you didn't say it out loud, I knew you always wanted to have a son. I know a son is very important but I gave you only daughters. I felt sorry for that but.... I always thought you wouldn't mind that much because you loved me and our daughters."
"I love all of you, Wei Ying! I love you all to the core and couldn't possibly live without you. A son would have been nice but I didn't mind much that you couldn't give me one. As long as I have you and our daughters, a son was expendable."
"That must be the reason you jumped on the next best person to have one..." I laughed listlessly.
"No, Wei Ying, all this was my father's idea. I only followed it because of his health." He approached me and took my hand in his. "The agreement I had with my father was to make sure I would have a son with Wen Qing. Once she would be pregnant we would stop. We also agreed that, should she have a girl, my father would accept it and stop trying to find me someone to have a son. This was the only time."
"You think that would have worked? All your father had to do was fall sick again, be it real or fake, and you would have agreed yet again, wouldn't you!? I bet he is overjoyed to finally get the grandson he wanted." I pulled my hand out of his hands and turned away.
"I won't meet her again. I won't look at her, I won't touch her. I promise, so, please.... Wei Ying, I am sorry. Please...."
"Was I ever against you having another woman? Was I against you making someone else your empress who would rule this world at your side? Was I ever against you remarrying and having children with someone else?"
"Wei Ying...."
I turned back to him and "WAS I!?"
Tears flow down his cheeks but I couldn't care less at that moment. I was so angry at him.
"I never was against it, Lan Huan! NEVER! All I wanted, all I asked you was to wait until I died! So I wouldn't have to see the man I loved being with someone else, so I wouldn't have to share you. But what did you do? You-!" I took a deep breath and suppressed any tears. "Why now, Lan Huan? Why now and not in 70 years? What are 70 years for an immortal like you and your father? I doubt you forgot that I was a mortal. Your father might have but not you. So why were you two in such a hurry?"
"I ...." Lan Huan looked at me helplessly while trying to wash away his tears. "I wasn't in a hurry, Wei Ying. My father-"
"Stop giving your father all the fault! You gave in! You agreed to his request! He too only had to wait another 70 years which would have been over in a blink of an eye for an immortal! So why was everyone in a hurry!?"
"I am sorry.....please.... Forgive me, Wei Ying...." He fell to his knees and looked up at me. Seeing him like this hurt me. It hurt me a lot but not enough to forgive him. His betrayal hurt me more than anything else.
"Do you know how disgusted I felt? Finding out that I had shared you with someone else..... that you were intimated with Wen Qing right before coming home to me? Not even the fact that you took a shower is making me feel better." I shuddered. "Roses... I hate the smell of roses because you always smelled like them when you returned. Why did it have to be her!?"
"Wei Ying..."
"I can't do this, Lan Huan. I can't pretend nothing happened."
Lan Huan widened his eyes and jumped up. "Wei Ying!?"
"You decided to cheat on me, you decided to betray me, you decided to sleep with Wen Qing and have a baby with her. Now you will have to take responsibility. You said you won't meet her again? Did you lose your mind? She is carrying your child, Lan Huan! Of course, you will have to stay by her side and take care of her and your baby. This is your responsibility! If you dare to not take it seriously then I must have fallen in love with the wrong person."
I stepped back from him and when he tried to follow me I glared at him. "Congratulations on having an heir, Lan Huan. Now go and take care of them. As you practiced on me, I am sure caring for a pregnant person is going to be easy for you. Go!"
"Wei Ying, what do you mean?!" Lan Huan looked panicked and came closer again but I stepped back and turned away. "Please... I am sorry. Everything is my fault. I am in the wrong, I made a mistake. But please.... don't leave me. Please don't leave me, Wei Ying. I can't live without you."
"I won't leave," I said and looked out the window. "I don't have anywhere to go. I gave up everything in the mortal realm. I gave up everything for you and can't go back. So I will have to stay here until I die...."
I turned back to him and pointed to the door. "I can't leave here but you can. And you will. I already have your things sent to another room. As of now, we won't live together. If you want to live in the other bedroom in this palace or if you want to move in with Wen Qing, I don't care. You can do what you want like you usually do. I won't stop you."
"Wei Ying, no." Lan Huan shook his head and came closer but I stepped back.
"Stop! Don't come closer!!" I hissed and he immediately stopped. "I want you to keep a distance from me, Lan Huan. I won't allow you to step into this room again, I won't let you touch me again. As of now, we two are nothing to each other."
Tears fell down Lan Huan's cheeks as he shook his head. "Don't do this, Wei Ying. Please..."
"Go! Go and take care of your concubine and son. I don't want to see you. Go now before I will lose myself."
I saw that Lan Huan wanted to say something but after I glared at him once again, he got up. He walked towards the doors and turned back to me. He looked at me, probably hoping I would change my mind. But I ignored it and turned away. I waited until I heard the door closing and only then did I broke down.
I fell to the ground and started to sob. I shouldn't feel sad. I more or less broke up with someone who betrayed me but... I couldn't control my feelings. I couldn't stop sobbing. I hugged my knees and hid my face, hoping that no one would hear me.
I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulders. I looked up and saw Wang Ji.
"Why... why are you here?" I asked and washed my tears away. It didn't help much because new ones would follow.
"Check on you." Wang Ji answered.
"How long have you been here?" I wanted to know and couldn't help but smile slightly seeing his aura changing. "Have you been eavesdropping?"
His cheeks turned red and he avoided my eyes. But then looked back at me and nodded. "Mhn."
"At least you are honest...." I mumbled and hid my face again. His hand rubbed my back soothingly. And because I knew that he wouldn't judge me, I let out my sorrow until everything turned black.
I heard the clapper of dishes and when I opened my eyes I saw Wen Ning putting down a cup of tea on the bedside table next to me.
"Wen Ning?"
"Your highness woke up?" His face lightened up. "You have been asleep for two days, your highness."
"Two days?" I asked and he nodded. "What happened?"
"After you fell asleep, his highness the second prince carried you to bed and left. When you didn't wake up the next day I called for him because I was worried. I couldn't possibly call the crown prince."
"Did Lan Huan come here?" I asked and Wen Ning nodded again.
"Yes, he came yesterday and waited in front of your room. He left sometime later but returned two hours ago. He won't leave."
I frowned but didn't say anything. I wouldn't meet him, no, I couldn't. If I see him who knew what I would do?
"Where is Wang Ji?"
"He left after checking on you. He told me you were just sleeping and to call him if you didn't wake up by tomorrow. But he said he would come back later."
I nodded and thought that it felt good not only having Wen Ning but also Wang Ji caring for me. It made me believe that I wasn't as alone as I thought I would be. The next couple of weeks were going to be difficult for me. I wasn't even sure if I should leave the palace as I didn't want to run into Lan Huan or Wen Qing. I didn't believe that Lan Huan would show up in front of me with her. He wasn't evil.
Suddenly I heard a loud voice and recognized it as Lan Huan's. I got curious about what happened outside and decided to take a look. I opened the door enough to look outside and saw Lan Huan kneeling on the grass in front of my bed chambers.
Next to him stood Wang Ji and I felt uneasy and was about to go out to make sure that Wang Ji would keep his promise but stopped when I heard their conversation.
"I won't." That was Wang Ji denying Lan Huan's request.
"Wang Ji, please help me. I know I was wrong, I know I hurt him but that wasn't my intention. Wei Ying and you are close. I am sure he will listen to you."
"I won't help you. What you did wasn't just wrong, brother. It was unfair to Wei Ying, it was disgusting and it was a crime. You didn't just hurt him, you betrayed him, you destroyed Wei Ying's trust and love for you. He gave you everything and got a betrayal as a result."
"Wang Ji, I love him. If you could-"
"No! I know you love him but it seems your love for him is not enough to protect Wei Ying. You couldn't even make father understand that an heir can wait. We are immortal, Wei Ying is not. Why couldn't he nor you wait for another 50 years?"
"...." Lan Huan couldn't say anything to that and let his shoulders sag.
"When Wei Ying told me about your wrongdoings I was about to confront you and Wen Qing but he stopped me and I had to promise him that our relationship won't suffer because of my .... friendship with him. But if you keep being like this I am not sure if I can keep that promise. But I want to keep it because I don't want to hurt Wei Ying."
I smiled hearing his words.
"I love him.... I will accept every punishment he wants to give me..... I don't want him to leave me...." The last sentence was said quietly but I still heard it. I stepped out of the bedroom and approached the two brothers.
"I won't leave," I said and Lan Huan raised his head to look at me. I could see he started to have hope so I shook my head. "I won't leave here because I have nowhere else to go. I also don't want our daughters to find me missing when they want to see me. I don't want to make them sad. But nothing will go back as it was, Lan Huan. I don't trust you and I am not sure if I can ever trust you again. You lied to me, you took another woman behind my back and even have a child with her. I don't care if it was your father's wish or order. You are an adult and can choose how to live, even if you are the crown prince. You chose to betray me, you decided to lay with Wen Qing."
"Wei Ying.... please....I am sorry..."
"I believe when you say you are sorry, Lan Huan, but it won't change what you did. You destroyed what was between us, you destroyed the trust and love I have for you because you chose your father over your love for me. It hurts but I have to accept it."
"Wei Ying, I-"
"I would appreciate it to not make it even harder for me than it already is, Lan Huan. Continuing to see you every day will be torture for me but I guess it is the punishment I deserve for I couldn't make you choose me." I closed my eyes for a moment. "If you are truly sorry and still love me even a little bit, you will understand me and respect my wishes. Please stop begging me to forgive you because I can't. It won't happen. As for Wen Qing... now that you chose her, that you decided to have a child with her, it's your responsibility to take care of both of them."
"Forgive me...."
"Despite us being separated, I still know that I am your first consort. So if there is an event or meeting I have to attend at your side, I will do so. I won't neglect my duties. If you decide to replace me with Wen Qing, I won't stop you. Just tell me on time."
"I won't replace you! You are my only consort!" He said firmly.
"We will see about this.... Leave now. Go and check on her...."
Lan Huan shook his head and wanted to beg me again but I turned around and went back inside.
"Wang Ji..." I heard him calling Wang Ji but there was no response from him as the latter was following me inside.
"Wang Ji, I asked you to not pick a fight with him but I didn't mean to ignore him like that."
"I am not." He answered and I turned to him.
"Then what was that?"
"He wanted to make me beg you to come back to him. I won't help him. He hurt you. He hurt you in such a way that even I can't forgive him."
"You shouldn't be so cold to him. What he did to me has nothing to do with you."
"It does!" He frowned and I tiled my head. "It does." He repeated.
I got to know Wang Ji well over the past 16 years but sometimes I still had difficulties understanding him. Like right now. I had the feeling there was something he didn't tell me. I could have asked him about it and he would surely answer me honestly but I decided not to as a deep part within told me that once I was able to truly fully understand Wang Ji, there was no turning back anymore.
"Why are you here today?" I asked him instead. "To check on me?" I smiled.
"I didn't have to. I knew you were awake."
I frowned. "Did Wen Ning tell you? Whose servant is he?"
"He wouldn't even tell me if I ordered him to. He is too loyal." It sounded as if he was complaining and I let out a weak chuckle.
"At least one person I can trust."
"You can trust me!" He stared into my eyes and it made me feel a little uneasy so I looked away.
"So why are you here?"
"Because you were sick you couldn't attend her funeral." Wang Ji started and I knew instantly he was talking about my daughter. I bit my lip to fight back my tears.
He was right. I wasn't able to attend the funeral. I wasn't able to see her at least once. My daughter left without knowing I loved her.
"You usually keep something that reminds you of your daughters. You kept a milk tooth of your first and a strand of hair from your second daughter. You kept the first garment your third daughter wore and from your fourth daughter you kept the pacifier." He said and I gaped at him.
"How... how did you know?" I was speechless because not even Lan Huan knew that I kept those things. For immortals, it wasn't seen as something special which was natural as they had long lives with lots of children ahead of them. But to me it was special. It meant a lot to me to have something with me that reminded me of them.
"..." Wang Ji didn't say anything but he was obviously embarrassed. His aura changed colors rapidly and he looked away. I waited for him to say something but when he did, he didn't answer my question.
"I wasn't allowed to see her either. But ..." He stopped and reached out for my hand. He put something inside and took his hand back.
"This is...?" It was a necklace. A beautiful silver necklace with a little bottle as a pendant.
"Ashes of your daughter. Not much but I thought you would like to have something from her. Don't worry, I didn't touch it."
I blinked and looked down at the pendant. I blinked uncontrollably and only realized later that I was fighting my tears back. I looked at Wang Ji and back to the pendant.
"In front of me, you don't have to pretend to be strong. Cry of you want to." Wang Ji said and without him saying another word I let my tears fall.
It was strange that Wang Ji understood me this much. He knew things no one else knew, not even Lan Huan. He knew what to do or what to say to make me feel better. But I didn't mind that. Not at all.
I might have lost my husband but I still had two friends left who were loyal to me, and who would never betray me. Albeit I thought it was unfair that I trusted Wang Ji this much when he was the brother of the man who broke my heart into pieces, I didn't feel that bad about it.
From that day onward, my relationship with Wang Ji became closer. I spent more time with him and Wen Ning at Wang Ji's palace than I spent at my own. Maybe it was because I knew that staying at Wang Ji's palace would help me to have a distance from Lan Huan.
He spent most of the time at the emperor's palace, caring for Wen Qing and his unborn son. I heard he was still fighting with his father but I stopped caring even for that. Neither Wen Ning nor I saw Wen Qing again after we found her and Lan Huan together. I wasn't sure if she was avoiding us or not but I didn't care at all because that woman took away the man I loved.
But one thing didn't change. Lan Huan knelt in front of my room every night, hoping I would forgive him and let him inside. He also never took Wen Qing to an important meeting, event or banquet. As it was my duty as his first consort I, of course, never rejected Lan Huan when he came to pick me up. He would always try to hold my hand or apologize to me. He would beg me to forgive him whenever he was able to but I ignored it.
In the beginning, it was difficult and I would like to have hidden in my room where I wasn't able to see Lan Huan. But after the days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, it became easier for me. Lan Huan still knelt in front of my room and I realized he wouldn't stop until I would forgive him which wouldn't happen.
Because once the trust was broken.....
When the news got out about him having an heir, everyone was happy. When the boy was born everyone celebrated for days. During that time I almost fell back into my old habits, being gloomy and hiding in my room. But Wang Ji wouldn't let me. He pulled me out of my dark thoughts and tried his best to make me feel better. That I was able to overcome these dark days was also due to Wen Ning's and Wang Ji's help. They took me out of my room, we went on a walk, played with bunnies, or just sat together and talked. I started to feel happy again.
But then, a few years later, I realized that something has changed. Something completely changed and I couldn't pretend otherwise.
Usually, changes are good, changes are needed in life or else life would be dull. But what should I do if it was something unplanned, something big, something forbidden?
What should I do then?
to be continued...
So.... the Wang Ji and Wei Ying Moments are about to start *eyebrow wiggling*
The next chapter will start with a time skip of 3 years :)
Until next time <3 <3
If you enjoyed this update, feel free to leave a vote. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section too :D :D