A/N: We're rapidly approaching season 3,
and holy shit it's THE DRAMA. I'm so excited.
Anyhoo, here's another two-parter.
I think it'd be easy to say I hated Spinner Mason after everything that happened last year, and maybe on some level I did, but I mostly saw Spinner exactly as he saw me before that whole year — a weird little speck of dirt on my shoe. Or that's what I told myself.
But change was a big theme for me in the past year, even in the areas of my life I least expected.
April came and went, with things getting back to base for the most part — or what was now considered base, which was mostly straddling the knife's edge between being a preteen and a teenager. Maybe most of my decisions in grade nine were still that of a child desperately clinging to whatever innocence I had left. Sure, it wasn't much, but it was mine.
The day started like any other. I met up with Ellie where our two paths to school intersected and caught sight of JT a bit too giddy for me to ignore. Like usual, I told El I'd meet her in homeroom — as she had important Grapevine business to attend to — and meandered over to JT.
"—not to mention condoms!" he said to Toby, who seemed supremely uncomfortable.
I stopped in my tracks and seriously considered turning back. Instead, I grimaced and approached with caution. "Condoms? In relation to you two dweebs? Gross."
"Audrey, this is a private conversation," JT said, trying to wave me aside.
I snorted. "Not with how loud you talk. And everyone knows it's sex talk day for grade eights."
"Eugh! Never say that word again!"
"What? Sex?" I said it louder. "Would you prefer I don't talk to you about sex?"
He shuddered and mimed gagging.
"JT! I need an answer! Would you like me to stop talking about sex?!"
His narrowed stare on me shifted to over my shoulder, and his disgust faded into a smug grin.
I opened my mouth to continue my tirade but something about his expression made me consider what exactly was over my shoulder — or who. My face was already warming up. "Craig's right behind me, isn't he?"
Both JT and Toby nodded, grinning and struggling not to laugh.
I scrunched up my face in a wince, slowing turning around. Craig's eyes were wide, horror struck in the same way I could feel in my gut. He tried to casually point to the front doors. "Uh, so...School?"
I nodded a lot and cleared my throat. "Right. Yeah. School."
I'll say this: Ms. Kwan was absolutely my favorite teacher, but she did have a weird focus on Shakespeare. We gathered in the gym to watch a public access adaptation of the Taming of the Shrew, and I was convinced it would've been an easier pill to swallow to just watch 10 Things I Hate About You. Same story and at least that version had Heath Ledger.
I sat next to Craig and we tried to discreetly shove each other off the makeshift bench without laughing. When we got caught and actually had to pay attention, the laughter died a slow death.
"...Until next time, we hope you enjoyed this classic presentation of Taming of the Shrew."
The lights came up and the silence emphasize just how little we enjoyed the movie.
Ms. Kwan turned off the TV and turned to us. "So, any thoughts on Shakespeare's comic masterpiece? Gavin?"
Spinner idly played with a fake mustache as he answered.. "Um, maybe add a joke or two?"
For once, I actually agreed with him.
"You didn't find it funny." She said it less like a question, more like a fact.
"Funny?" He shook his head. "Ha, um, no, sorry."
"No need to apologize. Because I'm offering you all a challenge." She smiled and moved to hand out the papers in her hands, and dread coursed through me. "I've paired you up, and I want you to work on Act II, Scene I. This play's been around for over 400 years, so it must be doing something right. What I want, guys, is a version that rings true for you. Have fun with it."
The dread in my gut expanded as the papers were handed down the row. Ellie handed me the stack and I took mine, sending the rest down the line. Instead of looking at mine, for fear of the hand fate dealt me, I glanced over at Craig's — and a boulder dropped into my stomach. Ashley Kerwin.
I turned away before Craig noticed, which was when he asked, "Who'd you get?"
It was the moment of truth, and probably the first step in a long, ridiculous journey — one I wouldn't always hate as much as I did in that moment. I glanced down.
Gavin Mason.
I glanced at Craig, who mirrored my shock. I turned to glance across the mass of students, finding a very blonde Spinner looking at me in sheer horror.
"You and Ash, huh?" I only asked that afternoon because he seemed genuinely happy to have Ashley as his partner. He jogged up to her after class and they walked together, and I said nothing to anyone because you couldn't pay me to have a civil conversation with Spinner Mason.
"Not like that. Get your brain out of the gutter." He tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth. It was getting a little late and neither of us remembered to hit up Blockbuster the past few days, instead Joey had a free preview week of HBO, and we watched the back half of Mulholland Drive — because Ashley called it 'a bizarre masterpiece', and Not Another Teen Movie looked dumb. "She's with Jimmy."
"Mm-hm."
"What?"
"You like her." It was only then I recognized the tone I used was the one I heard from Joey since late September.
"What? No." He groaned and tossed another piece of popcorn at my face. "Okay, maybe I do a little. So what? It doesn't matter."
My stomach churned, and my chest tightened. It didn't matter.
"It does, and you know it," I argued, popping the kernel into my mouth even though I suddenly didn't have the urge to eat. "...Look, I've been competing with Ashley Kerwin since Kindergarten, and you know what I've learned? She plays it safe, then self sabotages. Rinse, repeat. Her and Jimmy will be a footnote before the year's over."
Why did I frame it like that? Like I'm competing with her? Like I was still competing with her? Was I still competing with her — over something far newer and much scarier?
"Is that anyway to talk about my partner's boyfriend?"
"It is, because I've known him for even longer." When Craig raised his eyebrows, I rolled my eyes. "We had play dates. My mom really wanted us to get married."
Craig made a face. "That's a little...extreme."
"Have you heard the dreams my mom has for me? Actress? Model? Rock star? Trophy wife?" Someone in the movie screamed, and it resonated in my bones. "What I'm saying is Ash clearly likes you too. Be patient."
"How can you even tell?"
I kept my gaze on the TV. "Socially conscious goth girl falling over herself for the guy with a camera and a leather jacket. It's a tale as old as time."
There was a pause, five whole minutes where we said nothing and the protagonist cried over...something. I had no idea. The movie was all dream sequences, and nothing made sense.
"Not to poke holes in your theory, but... You're also a socially conscious goth girl," he said, not exactly mincing words.
I made a face. "Not goth. Punk, with a minor in emotional hardcore."
"See, I hear the words you're saying but they sound like you made them up."
"Okay, this is why I'm gonna burn copies of my CD collection. You can't listen to classic rock and grunge forever." I huffed and glared at him. "And I'm socially conscious because that stuff affects me directly, if you didn't notice. People are gonna stare at me no matter what, might as well give myself a better reason to explain why they're looking. Which is why Jimmy and I could never work, even if he didn't think I was a crazy person."
"He doesn't."
"Huh?"
"He doesn't think you're crazy, or a stalker, or whatever."
"Interesting point. How would you even know that?"
"Well, I'm a guy. I, on occasion, hang out with other guys. Get the inside scoop." He exhaled. "You even rank high with Spin."
"Gross. Thanks for that."
"Hey, I'm just the messenger! Apparently, you changed this year?"
Not that I could even stand Spinner Mason anymore, and now he even had the douche-y platinum hair.
"...I guess I did." I shrank in and focused back on the movie. "What did they say?"
He hesitated. "Are you sure you wanna know?"
"Not even a little," was the honest reply and the words came out in a jumble. I turned on the couch cushion and folded my legs under me, my smile both nervous and wide. "Tell me."
"...Okay, but you didn't hear this from me." He turned his full attention to me, both of us sitting cross-legged on opposite ends of the couch, facing each other. "The words pretty and/or hot might've been thrown around."
Hot? No one called me hot before, and it was mostly jarring to hear. I wondered if that came through in my expression. "Really? By who?"
He seemed aghast that I even asked the question. "I can't tell you."
"What?!" I whined.
"I'm sworn to secrecy." His gaze returned to the movie as if something intriguing happened — and maybe something did, but I think I made my mind up about the movie the moment I found out Ashley suggested it. "There was other stuff, like, you know...you have a nice smile, and a cute nose. And you're funny."
"I'm not. Really." My face was warm and I was also absurdly interested in the movie, at least as an excuse to look away.
"Hey, I'm just telling you what I heard." He raised his hands up defensively.
"Do guys really just sit around and rate girls?" Couldn't help what wonder for a second what Craig added to the subject, completely oblivious to the truth of the conversation.
He gave me a look as if it was obvious. "And what do girls say about us?"
"I wouldn't know. Ellie and I aren't known for our boy talk."
There was a silence and I thought for a while that the conversation was over.
"But you think Ash likes me?" he asked.
I blinked, hesitating, and nodded without turning to him, the answer obvious and needling me from the inside of my stomach.
When the movie ended, we didn't talk about it — which seemed like a significant moment for us. Instead, Craig asked, "So what did you two compete over?"
"Stupid things. Spelling bees. Writing contests. In her defense, she never knew we were competing."
"Why not?"
I didn't take time to chew on the answer as it came out in a bitter flood. "Because she's Ashley freaking Kerwin. She didn't even know who I was, much less that I was her competition. She always won, so I stopped competing."
"But you're a good writer. Everyone knows that, including Ash." In retrospect, he might've been straightforward in that reply, but the more I think about it, the more I'm sure he was talking about something else entirely.
"Sure," I mumbled, too tired to argue, but unwilling to believe him.
The next morning, after splitting up from my friends one by one, I got my books from my locker as I dreaded spending all of Drama class with Spinner. In fact, I could hear him coming from down the hall and wanted to hurl myself into the sun.
"For I am born to tame you, Kate, and bring you from a wild, Kate, to a Kate confrom... a Kate confar... confrabled..."
And he was working on the scene. He was working on the scene without even talking to me. I was already pissed off at myself and woke up in a particularly foul mood, but now I was about to do something stupid.
Meanwhile, JT took this opportunity to crack a joke at Spinner's expense as I watched from down the hallway. "That's right, Spinner. Walk and talk!"
Spinner faked a laugh and threw JT into the locker, causing a few boxes of something I could see from there to spill onto the floor. Spinner picked up one of the boxes revealing them to be glow in the dark condom. I shuddered and gagged from where I stood. "Oooh, JT the Stud. Check this out."
It was only then I noticed Emma and Manny witnessing this all play out, and Manny laughed.
"Guys, they're not mine!" JT said.
"Then whose are they?" Manny asked.
"They must be Toby's. That's gross," Emma said and started to walk away.
Manny followed. "Ew! That is so classic!"
"Toby? Kendra? He's planning..." Spinner was stumbling over his words as his brain functioned faster than I'd ever seen in real time. He shoved JT into the locker. "With my sister?!"
It was JT's turn to stutter out a response. "No! Spinner, it's just..."
"When I find Isaacs, he's finished." Spinner walked off and despite the display easing a little of my anger just for the hilarity of the situation, I wasn't letting him off the hook.
I walked right in front of him and he was so distracted by his new mission to murder Toby, he nearly didn't stop. "Spinner! We have to talk."
Words I was sure I'd never utter in my life.
"Move," he said, still in bully-mode. "I don't have time for this."
He tried to maneuver around me and I cut him off again. "That's too bad! We have to work on our scene."
"Uh, no, we don't!"
"Uh, yeah, we do!" I narrowed my stare and stood my ground. "We're partners."
"How about you just memorize your lines and I'll memorize mine, and we can get through this without talking, okay?"
"No! Not okay!"
He pushed past me.
I spun around as he went on the hunt for Toby. "You know, just because you don't care if you pass or not doesn't give you the right to bring me down with you!"
He stopped for a second and glanced back, and I wondered if I struck a nerve. Then he shook his head and continued down the hall.
Drama class wasn't any better.
The whole class was dedicated to the damn scene, so we sat in the auditorium in our pairs, some of us getting along swimmingly, and others about to rip each other's heads off.
You can guess where Spinner and I found ourselves on that spectrum.
He went over the lines over and over, mispronouncing the words and getting frustrated like his thoughts remained elsewhere.
Meanwhile, I would throw a curious look over to the other groups.
I glanced down at the script in my hand and the lines I was supposed to rattle off tomorrow in front of everyone. Just like last year, Spinner and I would go back and forth while everyone watched like it was a car crash happening in slow motion.
I wanted to crumple up the papers in my fist and throw them at Spinner's head.
Instead I got up, mumbling about how I couldn't do this before asking to use the restroom.
Ms. Kwan nodded and I left, only barely catching the confusion on Spinner's face.
I power walked down the hallway and sat on the floor against a locker. Not quite at the level of panic attack but stuck in that impossible place between fight and flight with no perceivable escape route.
I closed my eyes and wished I had music to drown out my thoughts.
"You okay?"
It's weird. You'd think you'd know whose voice I heard in that moment, or you'd think I wouldn't be so shocked to hear my best friend. Not the ones I've attached myself to all year, but the one whose allegiance I almost immediately questioned as early as picture day back in September.
I opened my eyes just as Ellie sat next to me.
"No," I said it with a laugh steeped in defeat.
She nodded solemnly and didn't say anything for awhile. When she did, it was the question I anticipated months ago. "Is this about Craig?"
My gaze snapped to hers, but traveled away like I had to think about it. I guess I did. The helpless anger of the morning might've set my bad mood in place, but any attempt to get past it was thwarted by Spinner Mason, and whatever ill-will he still had against me.
"Actually...no." I was just as surprised as she was when I said it. "Or maybe it is? Indirectly? I don't know. I'm mad at...boys. As a general statement. They're my least favorite people right now."
She shrugged one shoulder and nodded. "Understandable, but why specifically?"
"Because this is stupid! This whole scene! And Spinner? Also incredibly stupid. I'm gonna get a crap grade on this assignment just cause he won't work with me. And he's gonna make me look like the loser who screwed up, cause why would anyone take my side over his? Nothing's changed."
"Are we still talking about Spinner specifically or life in general?"
I rested my head against the locker behind me. "Both? I'm the one who's wrong. I'm the one with the bad reputation even when he's the one who started this mess."
Ellie hooked her arm around my neck and rested her head against mine in a rare show of affection. "You're not wrong, okay? And you don't deserve a bad grade just cause Spinner's perpetually a jerk. If anyone needs to be tamed, it's him."
I paused and something clicked as I sat up straight again. "Wait."
"What?"
"You're right."
"Am I gonna get any other explanation?" she asked with a raised brow.
"Spinner and I. We're playing the wrong roles," I said like the act itself was a victory. Ellie shook her head like she didn't get it. "How does the story change when the pursuer isn't a dude? Petruchio sounds like a crazy control freak in the scene. If Spinner says it, he's funny. If I say it..."
"And you want Spinner to play Katherine?"
"Which is very Shakespeare of me."
"Okay, but how are you going to make him agree to that?" she asked with a laugh, and turned to the clock on the wall. "You should get back in there before Kwan catches us both."
I stood, stretching my limbs. "What are you going to do?"
"Loiter for a few more minutes." A mischievous smile stretched wide across her face. "Go get 'em, jerkface."
I snorted and shook my head. "Thanks, loser."
I explained to Ms. Kwan I was having an emergency, and given my good rapport and medical diagnosis, she seemed to buy it.
On my way back to where I was sitting before, I felt several sets of eyes on me but I was beelining for Spinner, who was joking around with Jimmy as Hazel listened and laughed.
I stood in front of them and cleared my throat, eyes set on Spinner. "Meet me here after school. We're working on this."
He glanced to Jimmy and Hazel, then up to me. "Uh, no we aren't."
"Spinner, I'm not asking." The incredible wave of bravery I remembered from a year ago, the last time I got in his face, found me again here. When he tried to brush me off again, I snapped a little. "Either you show up today or I'm throwing the scene and we're taking the zero. I'm guessing you can't afford any more of those at this point."
Jimmy practically choked on air after that, and Spinner was turning a little red as his friends laughed at him.
He stood suddenly and his voice was low. "Fine, whatever. After school."
We stayed quiet for the rest of the class and I began memorizing what I was sure would be my new lines.