Enjoy nerds! :)
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CHAPTER 51
SUNSET
Iris' POV
"Iris!" I heard someone shouted.
Bumalik ako sa katinuan at tiningnan si Caylee. Then I nervously laughed. "Sorry, ano?"
"Why are you spacing out? Ang sabi ko, may shade ka na bang napili?"
"Shade for what?" Pinagtawanan nila ako ni Tiffany dahil sa kalutangan ko.
And I don't blame them. I wasn't really paying attention to what they're doing. The last thing that I'd want is a girls sleepover but knowing Caylee, she won't stop until I agree to join them. Kaya nagpunta na lang din ako dito sa bahay nila at sinubukan kalimutan ang mga problema ko.
Pero kahit anong gawin ko, bumabalik pa rin talaga ang isipan ko kila Dashiell at Damian.
Ilang araw na akong tulero. I keep on trying to know who I love more between the two of them. Pero wala pa rin akong sagot hanggang ngayon.
They both hold a special place in my heart.
Damian continued to pursue me. Wala na talaga siyang kinatatakutan. He goes to my house just to see me. He's determined to show me he loves me. Mabuti na lang hindi sila nagpapangabot ni Dashiell kasi ayoko namang magkagulo sa bahay.
My sister is starting to ask questions. Nagtataka siya kung bakit pinupuntahan ako ni Damian kung wala naman sa bahay si Dashiell. I mostly make up stories pero tingin ko nakakahalata na siya. Iba na kasi ang mga tingin niya, or maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Dashiell, on the other hand, had continued doing the same. He picks me up every morning, we spend time together during lunch, I'll wait for him in the afternoon and then he'll drive me home before he goes to his soccer game or daily practice.
But I can see that he's changing as days passed by. Sabi nga niya, nauubos na siya. He stopped being sweet to me. He stopped asking me out on dates. Hinahawakan niya pa rin naman ang kamay ko pero parang lumalayo na ang loob niya sa akin. He doesn't talk about his day anymore. Hindi na rin niya ako tinatanong kung anong ginawa ko buong araw.
It was like he's with me but his heart is slowly walking away. And that scares me a lot.
Natatakot akong mahuli ako at hindi ko na mahabol pa ang puso niya.
"Oh my gosh, they're so sweet!" Tiffany commented. They're watching a Netflix show. Kinikilig silang apat nila Caylee, Naomi at Ava habang ako nagse-cellphone lang. Wala kasi ako sa mood manuod ngayon lalo na at romance pa ang napili nilang genre.
I was just randomly browsing the net when someone messaged me. Hindi ko kilala kung sino ang babaeng iyon pero mukhang fan namin siya ni Dash dahil picture naming dalawa ang profile pic niya.
I opened her message out of boredom.
Hi Ate. Nakita ko po si Kuya Dash kasama ang ex niya kanina. Hiwalay na po ba kayo? Sa'yo ko lang po ise-send ito dahil baka mamaya maging issue. Sabihan mo ako ate kung niloloko ka ni Kuya Dash. Hindi niya magugustuhan gagawin ng buong fandom sa kanya! We love you Ate! Sana mali ako ng iniisip.
And then there were pictures attached. Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan ko nang isa isa kong tingnan ang mga iyon. Dash and Charmaine are together, laughing and dancing with their friends at some party. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan mismo sila ngunit mukhang private party iyon at may mga alak pa silang hawak. Hindi naman sila masyadong malapit sa isa't-isa pero palagi pa rin silang magkatabi.
I stood up and went inside Caylee's bathroom. Ni-lock ko ang pintuan at sinarado ko ang takip ng toilet bowl upang doon maupo.
I looked at the photos again. Dashiell seemed so happy. Ang tagal ko nang hindi nakikita ang ngiting iyon sa mukha niya. He would smile at me but not like this. Not like the way he smile to Charmaine.
Hindi ko na napigilan maluha sa kaba.
Kailan pa sila naging close ulit? At bakit magkasama sila? Bakit hindi nasabi sa'kin ni Dash na may pupuntahan pala siya? Magkausap naman kami kanina sa telepono noong nagpaalam ako na pupunta ako kila Caylee pero bakit hindi niya naikwento na may lakad rin pala siya? Was he going to keep this a secret to me?
I was shaking out of fear. The thought of Dashiell choosing his ex over me scares me. Hindi pa ako ready mawala siya. Alam kong malaki ang kasalanan ko sa kanya pero kami pa rin naman e. Girlfriend niya pa rin ako. May karapatan pa rin ako sa kanya.
I decided to call him but there was no answer. Ilang beses akong tumawag pero hindi niya sinasagot. Mas lalo na tuloy akong nag-overthink.
What if he's busy because of Charmaine? What if he's kissing her already? What if he realizes he's better off with Charmaine?
Hindi matigil tigil ang iyak ko kaya naman naisipan kong gumawa ng excuse sa mga kaibigan ko para makaalis ako dito. I went out and blurted out the first reason that I could think of.
"My period's late," I lied even though it bothers me. Also, I couldn't think properly right now. Ang gusto ko lang ngayon ay makaalis upang mapuntahan si Dashiell.
I thought my friends were going to let go of me but they really insisted on buying a pregnancy test kit with me. Wala akong nagawa dahil lahat sila tumayo na at nagpaalam na si Caylee sa mga magulang niya.
Si Naomi ang nag-drive papunta sa isang convenience store. Tingin ako ng tignin sa cellphone ko, umaasang sasagot si Dashiell pero wala talaga.
Pagkabili namin ng PT ay talagang pinush pa nila akong umihi na sa CR doon. Mas kabado pa yata sila sa akin. I went inside and called Dashiell's phone again. Nag-ring ng ilang beses hanggang sa bigla na lang niyang sinagot.
"Hello?" Parang natanggalan ako ng tinik sa dibdib nang marinig ko ang boses ni Dash. For some reason, I thought Charmaine was going to answer it.
"Nasagad ko na ba ang pasensya mo kaya ayaw mo na?" I cried on the phone. "Maiintindihan ko naman e. Kasalanan ko lahat. Pero sana sinabi mo sa'kin, Dash. Kasi nabigla ako ng sobra."
"Ano? Teka lang." It sounded like Dash went outside to hear me clearly. Humina rin kasi ang music sa likuran niya. "What are you talking about?"
"Bumalik ka na kay Charmaine, 'di ba?" paghagulgol ko. "You love her again."
"What? No! Where did that come from?"
"A fan sent me some photos. Magkasama kayo ngayon!"
"Yeah we are but not as a couple. Nagkayayaan lang kami ng mga kaibigan namin."
I bit my lower lip. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to bother you."
Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko sa sagot niya. Hindi naman siya ganito noon.
"What makes you think you'll bother me?"
Hindi siya umimik. I just heard him sigh. I looked down at my hands and didn't speak as well.
Takot na takot akong mawala siya sa buhay ko pero hindi ko naman magawang piliin siya nang buong buo.
What the f*ck is wrong with me? Bakit ba kasi ako ganito? I hate myself. I f*cking hate who I am right now!
"Stop crying, please. It's breaking my heart," he whispered. I closed my eyes and I could imagine Dashiell running his hand through his hair right now. "I wasn't cheating on you, I promise. Hinding hindi ko magagawa sa'yo 'yon. I didn't mention the party because like you, I have a lot on my mind right now." He expressed his thoughts with a hint of sorrow. "Aamin na rin ako, medyo galit kasi ako."
I opened my eyes but my vision was clouded with tears. "Galit ka sa'kin?"
"Galit ako kasi ikaw pa rin laman nitong puso ko. Galit ako kasi kahit anong gawin ko, hindi kita magawang bitawan."
"G-gusto mo ng bumitaw?"
Ang tagal bago siya nagsalita ulit. "No. That's not what I want."
I exhaled in relief. I thought he was going to answer yes.
Caylee suddenly knocked on the door. Pinagmamadali niya ako dahil kanina pa ako nandito sa loob ng CR. I think Dash heard her voice too that's why he suddenly cleared his throat.
"Mali 'yung ginawa ko. I should have told you where I am. I'm sorry. And don't worry, it won't happen again. Sige na, hinahanap ka na ng mga kaibigan mo at ganun na rin ako. I'll see you tomorrow."
Tatapusin na sana niya ang call nang magsalita ako. "Dash..." He didn't speak. He just waited for me to continue. "Mahal kita."
"Mas mahal kita, Iris. Mahal na mahal kita kaya wag ka nang magisip diyan na ipagpapalit kita." He exhaled."Wag ka na umiyak, ha? Enjoy your sleepover. Uuwi na rin ako mamaya maya. I'll just drink some more. Minsan ko lang naman makasama 'tong mga 'to. Hinahanap ka nga nila."
Unti-onti akong napangiti. "Tell them I'll see them soon."
"That's what I said."
I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "E tayo? Kailan tayo lalabas? How about this weekend? Busy ka ba? Miss na kasi kita, Dash. Date naman tayo sa sabado..."
He was quiet for a second. "I'd love that."
Kumatok ulit sila Caylee kaya sinigawan ko sila na palabas na ako.
"Oh sige na, 'di na kita iistorbohin. Ingat ka sa paguwi mamaya. Wag kang magmaneho, nakainom ka na. Just call your driver."
"I will. Goodnight, Iris."
Nawala na ang kaba ko nang makausap ko siya.
Para akong sira. Siya pa talaga pinagisipan kong babalik sa nakaraan niya.
Lumabas na ako ng CR at nakangiti kong sinabi sa mga kaibigan kong negative ang result ng PT. They were so happy but it made me feel guilty. I didn't like that I'm keeping things with them. It's not that I don't trust them, I just don't feel like this is the right time to share my problems to them.
I'd tell the girls when this is finally all over. Para walang makagulo sa isip ko. Para magawa ko ang tama.
*****
Our plan to spend the weekend together was cancelled due to the fact that the girls and I were caught by the police. Sira kasi ang backlights ng kotse ni Naomi, expired ang lisensya niya pagkatapos may alak pa kaming dala. Bumili kasi sila Ava bago kami umuwi.
My mom was so mad at me for almost ruining her image and our family's name. Mabuti na lang ay hindi ganung kabigat ang offence namin. We won't go to jail because of that, kailangan lang magbayad ng multa. Kaso ang naging problema, nakalabas sa media ang tungkol doon and now, the public are judging us for having bad character traits. Madami pa nga ang nagsasabing anak mayaman kasi kami kaya wala kaming pakielam sa batas.
Dahil doon, pinagbawalan tuloy akong lumabas ng bahay. They'll only allow me to get out of the house if it's related to my studies or if I had to attend some society event.
Lumipas nang ilang buwan na ganito ang naging set up namin. Natapos na nga ang Annual Elite game na pinaghihigpitan nila ako. Nito na lang ulit ako pinayagan nila Mama na sumama sa mga kaibigan ko, dahil na rin siguro sa kadahilanang hindi na pinaguusapan ang nangyari. People seemed to have forgotten the incident.
"Good morning," bati ni Damian paglabas ko sa garden namin. Pansin ko ang dala dala niyang picnic basket at ang suot niya. Nakakapanibagong makita na naka-white shirt lang siya at jeans. He usually wears a coat before he goes to his father's company. Pero ngayon parang wala yata siyang trabaho. Day off siguro.
"Bakit nandito ka? At ano 'yang dala mo?" hihikab hikab na tanong ko. I sat on one of the chairs and sleepily watched him pull out foods from the basket. Pinatong niya sa table sa harapan ko ang dala niyang mga tinapay. May mga prutas rin na nasa lalagyan.
For months, Damian had been going here to spend time with me. As crazy as it sounds, my Mom actually likes it. Gustong gusto niyang makipagkwentuhan dito lalo na kapag tungkol sa DLCDI. It amazes her how Damian could handle such large company at a young age. At todo explain naman itong isa.
"I wanted to see you." Ngumiti siya at inilapit sa akin ang mga pagkain. I just looked at him and lazily grabbed a bread.
"Ang aga mo namang magising. It's just eight in the morning," I complained.
"Excited kasi akong makita ka."
Noong unang mga beses na pumupunta siya rito, hindi ko talaga siya kinakausap. May hindi ako lumalabas ng kuwarto ko dahil ayokong masaktan si Dash. Kapag nalaman nito ang ginagawa ng kapatid niya, malamang magaaway na naman sila. Baka magsuntukan pa sila dito.
I avoided Damian as much as I could pero na-realize kong hindi talaga siya aalis hangga't hindi niya ako nakikita. Mas nagtatagal pa tuloy siya dito sa bahay kaya pinagbibigyan ko na siya nang isa o dalawang oras sa isang araw, madalas weekend lang naman iyon.
Hindi pinagiisipan ng iba ni Mama ang pagdalaw ni Damian dito. In fact, she even asks for him when he's not here. Mas hinahanap na nga niya si Damian kaysa kay Dashiell.
But I think Ate Irene already knows the truth. Hindi siya nagtatanong pero may sinabi siyang tumatak sa isipan ko.
"Magkapatid sila, baka nakakalimot ka."
How will I forget that? That's the reason why I'm stuggling so much.
"Ito oh, palaman." Inabutan ako ni Damian ng ube yam kaya nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Ang tagal ko ng hindi nakakatikim nito!
Umayos ako ng upo at agad sinubukang buksan ang bote. Kaso ang higpit ng takip kaya kahit anong pihit ko, ayaw talaga bumukas.
"Ako na." He suddenly reached for it, accidentally touching both my hands. Natigil tuloy ako at ganun rin siya.
We both froze and met each other's eyes.
"Uhmmm Madame?" tanong ni Camille na kakarating lang.
I blinked a couple of times before I came back to my senses. Iniabot ko ang bote ng ube yam kay Damian pagkatapos ay umiwas ako ng tingin. I heard him chuckle while he's opening it. Tapos pinatong niya na iyon sa harapan ko na para bang walang nangyari.
Tahimik akong naglagay ng palaman sa tinapay na hawak ko habang inilalagay na ni Cams ang mga baso na may mainit na tubig sa table. Damian asked Camille earlier to get us some hot water since he also brought cocoa.
Habang kumakain, nagsimula na siyang magkuwento tungkol sa mga problema sa kumpanya nila. Ito ang madalas na pinaguusapan namin.
I have become the person he would run to whenever things are getting out of hand. Napapakalma ko daw kasi siya at nagagawa niyang magisip ng maayos kapag nakakausap niya ako.
Things are unfortunately getting worst in their company. Magaling magtrabaho si Damian pero kulang pa siya ng experience and that seemed to affect the work. Most of them don't trust him enough to let him run the business. Nagagalit na nga si Tito at gusto na nitong bumalik dito sa Pinas.
I know Damian's really stressed because of it but I had never seen him look tired. Kapag ako ang kaharap niya, nakangiti lang siya, masaya at kuntento. Pero ang mga mata niya, hindi magawang magsinungaling.
He's having a hard time, I can feel it.
"Do you have plans today? Labas naman tayo," He asked me. "Palagi na lang tayo nandito sa bahay niyo."
"May lakad ako..."
"Is that true? Or are you just wary people might see us?" Of course, I'm afraid. Sira ba siya? "Tara na kasi," pangungulit niya ng nakangiti.
"I'm going to see Dash later." Nangako kasi ako kay Dashiell na lalabas kami.
Tinitigan niya ako bago niya ibinaba ang kutsarang pinanghahalo niya ng hot cocoa.
"Why are you still with him?"
I stopped eating.
Ang tagal naming hindi napapagusapan ang sitwasyon namin.
When he's here, we talk for hours and then he leaves. When I'm with Dash, we spend time with each other, doing the things we normally do and then he'll go home.
Walang nagtatanong tungkol sa isa't-isa.
Sumandal ako sa upuan ko at nakipagtitigan sa kanya.
Silence engulfed the two of us.
"It's been months, Iris. Hindi ka pa rin ba makapagdesisyon?"
I pursed my lips. "Hindi 'to madali para sa akin, Damian. Buong buhay ko ang magbabago dito."
"Kaya pinatatagal mo? Kaya dine-delay mo? Kahit ilang buwan pa ulit ang lumipas, parehas pa rin naman ang magiging laman ng puso mo. It won't change."
Huminga ako ng malalim at umiwas ng tingin.
"Stop denying it. You want to choose me, you're just afraid to."
"Damian---"
"Natanong mo na ba sa sarili mo kung bakit hinahayaan mong pumunta ako dito sa bahay niyo? Aminin mo man o hindi pero pumapayag ka dahil gusto mo 'kong makita. Hinahanap mo palagi ang presensya ko. Mas iniisip mo na ako, hindi mo lang nahahalata."
Gusto kong tumayo at umalis ngunit hindi ko magawa.
"You look for me every weekend morning. You long to hear my voice every time I'm not with you. And at night, you wait for my goodnight messages," He continued.
Pumikit ako at huminga ng malalim.
Everything he said is true.
I got used to presence because what he's doing has somewhat became a routine for us.
Minulat ko ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman ko ang paghawak ni Damian sa kamay ko.
It felt right to feel his touch but it also feels wrong to allow him to hold me.
Kasi hindi ako single. I'm taken.
May Dashiell ako. May Dashiell na masasaktan.
"Wag na natin pahirapan ang mga sarili natin, Iris. Mahal mo 'ko at mahal kita. Isn't love the most important thing in the world?"
Iniangat ko ang tingin ko at pinagmasdan ang mukha niya.
Siguro kaya pinatatagal ko ang desisyon ko ay dahil natatakot ako sa pagbabago. Sa ilang buwan na nakasama ko silang dalawa ng sabay, unti-onti kong nalaman kung ano ang dapat kong gawin.
Buo na ang loob ko ngayon. Alam kong ito na ang tamang panahon para ayusin lahat ng ito.
*****
A few hours after Damian left, Dashiell finally came by. Pinagpaalam niya ako kay Ate bago kami umalis. Wala kasi sila Mama kaya si Ate na lang ang kinausap niya.
"Where are we going?" curious na tanong ko.
"You'll see." He smiled, glancing at me for a second before focusing his eyes on the road. Hawak hawak niya ang kamay ko habang nagda-drive siya.
I rested our hands on my lap and silently enjoyed my time with him.
Ang swerte ko rin talaga na minahal ako ni Dashiell.
Sobrang sayang maging boyfriend siya. Ano pa kaya kapag nagpakasal kami? Siguro walang araw na lumipas na hindi ako nakangiti. Even now, he always makes sure I'm happy...
"Dash, what's your dream wedding?"
Napangisi siya dahil sa tanong ko. "Kahit saan, basta nandoon ka."
I played with our hands. "Hindi nga, seryoso. Where do you want to spend one of the most important chapters in your life?"
"I guess since we're both from powerful families, a huge function room would be appropriate for such event. Tipong kakasya ang libo libong mga bisita natin. I'm pretty sure both my Mom and yours would handle the guest lists," tatawa-tawang sambit nya.
"You really want a grand wedding?"
"Yeah, why not? Gusto kong pagusapan ng buong mundo na papakasalan ko na ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko."
I stared at him. "That sounds nice."
"Yeah?"
Tumango ako at ngumiti lang.
Dashiell even talked about the details of his dream wedding. Nakakatuwa dahil parang bigla siyang na-excite. Parang nabuhay ko ang dugo niya dahil sa topic na iyon.
"I know you don't like being the center of attention so maybe we can celebrate again but this time, with only both our friends and families."
Nakinig lang ako sa kanya habang nagpaplano siya na para bang ikakasal na kami bukas. I don't know why he got so hyped up with a simple question of mine but it's fun.
It took us an hour to get to our destination. Hindi ko nga namalayang matagal tagal na pala ang byahe namin. Napansin ko lang ang orasan sa sasakyan niya kaya nagulat ako.
"Where are we?" I asked, taking off my seatbelt.
Pagkalabas ko ng sasakyan ay napanganga ako nang ma-realize na hindi lang pala ito basta bastang lunch date.
"A beach? Teka, bakit 'di mo sinabi? Wala akong dalang swimsuit!" I groaned. I didn't bring anything aside from my bag. If I knew we were going here, I would have done some shopping. Mabuti na lang naka-white dress ako ngayon kaya bumagay sa lugar.
Dash chuckled. "It's okay. I bought some."
Natigil ako. "Ano?"
"Binilhan kita."
Natawa ako at tinaasan siya ng kilay. "Binilhan mo 'ko ng two piece?"
"One piece cause I know you're a bit conservative in public."
"Paano mo nalaman size ko?"
"Kahit nakapikit pa 'ko, kabisado ko katawan mo."
Namula ang mga pisngi ko kaya hinampas ko ang braso niya ng mahina. Humagikgik si Dash at napailing na lang sa sarili niyang kalokohan. Mabuti na lang hindi iyon narinig ng mga sumalubong sa amin na staff ng resort.
"Welcome to The Pierre, Mr. Lewis and Ms. Leona."
I raised an eyebrow to Dashiell and whispered to his ears, "Why do they know our names?"
"I told Kuya Silva we're going here. He must have informed the staff."
My mouth formed a big 'O' in shock. "The Pierre as in from Silva Pierre's family?"
"Yup, they own this place."
Oo nga pala, maraming business ang pamilya nila.
Kahit parte ako ng high society, nagugulat pa rin talaga ako tuwing nalalaman kong ang pinupuntahan ko pala ay pagmamayari ng kakilala ko. It's kinda funny but cool at the same time. Ganun rin sila kapag nalalaman nilang ang bakery na pinagbilhan nila ay sa pamilya ko pala.
Dash reached for my hand and happily pulled me towards the elevator. We ate lunch first before we decided to go for a swim. Hindi maaraw at walang masyadong tao kaya naman nag-enjoy talaga ako.
When we both grew tired, we sat on the sand and just watched the waves hit the shore. It's peaceful to sit here with him, just listening to the nature while waiting for the sun to set.
This is paradise.
A paradise about to be broken.
"Iris?"
"Hmmm?"
"Is this the last day we're going to be with each other?"
Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nahulaan pero siguro halata naman na sa mga galaw ko. I was cherishing every moment I have with him. I keep on hugging and kissing him since we got here. It was like we were on the first stage of our dating lives all over again. I was unbearably clingy to Dash.
Maybe I made it too obvious that I was already saying goodbye to him.
"It's okay. I understand," He added, assuring me he's not angry at all.
All the happiness that I've felt earlier was replaced with sadness.
This is it. I'm finally doing what I should have done a long time ago.
I shouldn't have attempted to stay by his side but I became greedy.
"I love you," I managed to say. "I love you so much which is why I'm doing this. I'm letting you go, Dashiell."
He touched my cheek and stared at me for a long time.
"Thank you," He said in a low voice.
I was expecting him to curse or get mad but as always, he surprised me.
"I've been waiting for you to say those words, Iris. I know how hard things were for you and I'm happy you finally get to realize what your heart really wants."
"I wanted to be with you, I still do," pagiyak ko. "But I can no longer keep you for myself. I can't be selfish anymore because you deserve more. You deserve someone who can love you the way you love me, a girl who can love you back with all her heart." I touched his hand and rested my face on his palm. "You're already wounded, Dashiell. Your scars won't heal if I don't leave."
He held my hand tightly before he brought it to his lips. Pumikit siya nang hinalikan niya ang kamay ko.
"Tama ka. Dapat maghiwalay na tayo. It's not healthy for us to be with each other. Nawala na 'yung tiwala ko sa'yo at kahit anong gawin mo, hindi ko makalimutan ang nangyari sa inyo ni Damian. Ending this now is our best option for us to continue being friends. Habang may natitira pa tayong pagmamahal at respeto sa isa't-isa, mabuti pa ngang itigil na natin dito."
Tears escaped his eyes, to which I immediately wiped with my free hand.
Minulat niya ang mga mata niyang punong puno ng lungkot.
"I won't love like this again. 'Yung pagmamahal ko sa'yo Iris, iba sa lahat ng mga nakarelasyon ko. For you, I became a person I'm not. I made a lot of things I still regret and I apologize for that. Hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko tuwing tumitingin ako sa salamin. I disregarded who I am just to have you."
"I also don't recognize myself anymore. Kahit nasasaktan na kita, patuloy pa rin ako sa pagkapit sa relasyon natin. I'm sorry. Sorry Dashiell kasi hindi agad ako nakapagdesisyon. Sorry kasi hanggang dito na lang tayo. Ayokong dumating 'yung araw na kamuhian mo ako. We did our best to make this work but we just can't save our relationship. We can only save each other."
Tuloy tuloy ang pagiyak ko kahit na ilang beses kong inisip ang pangyayaring ito.
This was meant to happen eventually. Pero iba pa rin pala talaga kapag nasa harapan mo na. Iba pa rin kapag alam mong mawawala na ang taong 'yon sa buhay mo. I spent years with him, as his friend and his girlfriend. Nasanay na akong parte siya ng araw-araw ko.
Moving on will be like hell, but I'll take strength with the fact that his life will be better without me and after me.
Dashiell hugged me tightly, both of us crying heavily. I was sobbing uncontrollably while he keeps kissing my cheeks.
"Atleast let me do this," He begged.
"D-do what?"
Tumayo si Dashiell at hinila niya rin ako. I was confused but I stood up as well.
"Do you remember the moment that I asked you out as my girlfriend?"
"Of course. You were so nervous that time."
"I was, yeah," pagtawa niya kahit na parehas na kaming nagiiyakan.
I smiled while thinking about that day. "Dinamay mo pa nga ang mga ka-team mates mo para magbuhat ng heart shaped balloons at banner. You even prepared flowers for me."
We laughed as we both went back to our past.
"I asked you a question that night, do you remember that too?" He asked.
I can never forget that because it was one of the happiest days in my life.
"You asked me if I could be your forever..."
"And you agreed. You promised me you will be." Huminga siya ng malalim at tumingin sa dagat saglit. The sun's just about to bid it's farewell. "But our forever should end today."
Bigla siyang may kinuha sa bulsa ng shorts niya pagkatapos ay lumuhod siya sa harapan ko. Napanganga ako sa gulat at napahakbang patalikod nang buksan niya ang maliit na box na hawak hawak niya.
It's a wedding ring.
"Iris Fleur Leona, will you allow me to love you for the last time?"
I couldn't help but cry even more. I could literally feel my heart tearing apart inside of me, as if that's even possible.
It hurts like sh*t. My body is trembling in pain, my chest is heavy with emotions and my hands are shaking.
Niyakap ko siya at hinalikan ng madiin. He kissed me back while he's crying.
"Spend the whole day with me Iris and tomorrow, I promise we'll go on our separate ways."
"Dashiell..." Hindi na ako makapagsalita ng maayos. Hindi ko talaga ine-expect na luluhod pa siya sa harapan ko at bibigyan ako ng singsing. I don't understand why he had it but I can only assume he had already bought it a long time ago.
Hinawi niya ang buhok na humaharang sa mukha ko at inilagay iyon sa likuran ng tenga ko, pagkatapos ay ngumiti siya.
"Gusto kong may baunin akong masayang memorya bago tayo maghiwalay para kapag nilingon ko ang pangyayaring ito, mapapangiti pa rin ako at hindi ako magsisising pinakawalan kita."
Tumango ako at inilahad ang kamay ko sa kanya.
I accepted the ring he gave me as a sign that I once loved Dashiell Aleckzander Lewis.
*End of Chapter 51*
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Sana nasaktan ko kayo ng bongga! *insert evil laugh*
Nah but seriously, this chapter made me cry while I was writing it.
Last chapter na next then epilogue!