(image does not belong to me. credit belongs to its respective owner)
ITALY
The only thing I remember vividly, to the point I can't breathe, is when we first came here. Even while everyone was trying to think of a way to escape, I did nothing to help... I had to be protected like an idiot... Meanwhile, everyone else was getting hurt. And I was all alone. One after the other, they lost their lives right before my eyes.
In front of Italy was Japan, leaning against the piano. His white uniform was stained heavily with crimson.
Japan coughed out a faint chuckle. "Huhu... I'm sorry. It looks like this is the end for me."
"D-don't say that! Wait just a minute! I'll make bandages out of this flag and stop the bleeding!"
"No... no, it's hopeless." Japan waved him off. "There is no time. Please, just leave me here and go to the others. Fortunately, they've forgotten... that I came here." Japan winced and clutched at his bleeding side. He raised his head up and met Italy's wild, teary eyes. "Please, leave me..."
"Of course I can't do that! Just- I'll make bandages right now! Please!"
Japan sighed. "Italy." He used no honorific for once.
Italy froze. "Wh-what?"
"You don't have your whit flag anymore, do you? You have already used all of it to make bandages for everyone else." Japan smiled painfully, his expression understanding.
Italy recoiled as if Japan had just struck him. "No- I-I do! L-look!" He hiccuped, trying to fish for more cloth in his uniform. There was none to be found. "I just made it! I'll help you right now!"
Japan closed his eyes.
"No... No, Japan! I'll do anything! I'll do anything! Just hold on a little longer!" He collapsed in front of his friend, sobbing.
"Italy-kun(1)," Japan forced his heavy lids open again. "You are very kind. But even though my eyes are dulled, I know that you are lying." A painful breath. "It is so... frustrating. Till the end, I wanted us to get... out... together..."
Japan's eyes fluttered closed for the last time. He stopped breathing.
And then... And then...
"Sorry, aru. This is where I fall," China wheezed, leaning back against the wall and sliding down to the floor to sit beside Russia.
"I'm glad we could make...a new breach at least," Russia murmured, looking down as his hands hovering over his wounded abdomen.
Russia, China, and France were all sat on the floor, propped up against the wall, a mixture of their blood splattered on the white wall behind them. They were all mortally wounded.
"Come now, Italy," France smiled despite the several broken ribs he sustained that caused serious internal damage. "Don't cry; just go. If you stay here, that monster is going to show up again."
"But..."
France turned to the figure beside Italy. "Prussia, will you take care of Italy? He's fast on his feet, but it's hard to fight that monster."
Prussia nodded solemnly, the expression starkly unusual for the usually easygoing albino. "I know. I'll do it, France."
A smile tugged at the Frenchman's lips as he relaxed against the wall and shut his eyes. Then his face slowly went slack.
"Big brother France?" Italy choked out.
"Quickly," Russia said, abruptly urgent. "Don't let our efforts be in vain. Really, you're so slow on the uptake."
China nodded in agreement. "If you stay here, you're only going to get in the way. Just get away, quickly." He ordered, his voice hard.
Prussia nodded and took Italy's hand. "Let's go, Ita. Let's get out of here."
Together they moved to leave. Italy hesitated for one moment longer before finally allowing himself to be tugged through the door.
"You really are perfect for the role of villain," China turned his head to smirk half-heartedly at Russia.
Russia smiled back. "You're quite the actor yourself."
"I have to find... Japan... quickly. While I got all sluggish here... I forgot... again..."
Russia closed his eyes, waiting for China to finish his thought. When he didn't, he opened his eyes and peered over at him. "China?"
Silence was his response.
Russia tilted his head back against the wall, a quiet, bitter laugh leaving his throat. "Haa... Even in this place... I'm all alone yet again..." Then he closed his eyes and took his final breath, too.
And now...
Italy was in the room with America, with England and Canada lying down on two beds placed beside them. Their blood soaked into the sheets. They didn't move. They weren't breathing.
"Yeah, we'll be fine, so just get out of here and get us reinforcements or something," America was saying, his breathing heavy from exertion and injury. He leaned against the wall with his hand, favoring one foot for the other.
"Wait! In the meantime, even you will get hurt beyond help-"
America waved his hand indifferently. "It's fine. Besides, I want to do these two a favor and stay with them."
Italy's breath hitched as he followed America's line of sight to the beds beside them. "America..."
"Haaa... No, that isn't it. They can't hear me anymore, so I'll tell you in all honesty..." He limped in between the beds, moving to sit while placing one hand on England's head and the other on Canada's head. "I want to stay with them. Till my last moment. Because they're both very important to me."
"And because you're going to... protect me-"
America grinned. "Haha! Yeah. Even though I can't move anymore." He looked down at his mangled leg. "But I'm not making a mistake. And I regret nothing."
Italy just stared at him, paralyzed.
"Anyway, go for it, dude. I wish you luck." America saluted him playfully before turning back to his family with a heavy heart.
And finally...
"We got the key."
Italy was wailing now. He hiccuped and sobbed, shaking violently as he did. He collapsed on the floor on his knees in front of his two friends.
Germany sighed. "Hey, stop crying. We risked our lives and went through so much to get it back. You should be happier."
"Wh-why did you lie...? You said you were only going to take a look around..." Italy sniffed.
"Ah, yes. Well... it's probably for the same reason you didn't tell us that everyone else is dead."
Italy gasped. "You knew-?!"
Prussia and Germany exchanged an obvious glance. Meanwhile Italy stared, torn apart in his anguish, at the dark red stains that were slowly getting larger on their uniforms.
Prussia laughed. "Haha! Well... now, West, why don't we take a little rest? I'm really tired."
"You're right, bruder(2). You can go ahead; I'll catch up with you."
"Why?!" Italy cried. "No! I can't do this anymore! I'm staying with you!"
"Anyone who... disobeys... will run... ten laps..."
Prussia sucked in a pained breath, looking between the two. "...Look... if you don't... hurry up... he'll keep adding even more."
"Fine! I'll run ten laps! I'll run as many laps as you want! But I'll run away! And then Germany... will have to run... to catch me..."
Prussia's head rolled to the side. His eyes were closed. His chest wasn't moving.
"Big Brother Prussi-"
Germany coughed once before taking one final breath. His arms went slack at his sides and his head fell back against the wall.
"Ger... ma... ny..."
Even when I followed different paths, no matter what I did, they still left me. If only I hadn't heard those rumors... If only I hadn't told America. No, this is no good. I just have to try harder. What was I supposed to say next, again? Whose life was going to be in danger next, again? What... do I have to do next? How many more times will I be allowed to make mistakes? How many more times will I have to tell the same lies? How many more time will I have to watch my friends die? I made them so many promises. But when we met next, they had forgotten all about them. We had finally learnt to get along, but when we met next, they were back to normal. I don't want them to forget, though. What can I do? What do I have to do? How can I get them all out of here?
Ah... It's hopeless. It feels like my head is going to burst... I want to try harder... and harder ... but... I'm so very tired...
—
(NAME)
It was understandable that his mind had snapped from all the stress. It was probably the best for his psyche that he even seemed to regress- you knew this was a coping mechanism to get past the house's horrors.
You knew this. You knew it and it didn't make it any less hard to watch.
Japan suggested that it was like breaking the clocks- that Italy also got so many memories that they pushed him to the limit, both physically and mentally.
It was like what was happening to you. You memories were begin to chip and fade at the edges, or else they got falsely mixed together. There was too many time loops, too many deaths, and too many changes to keep track of. There seemed to be a limit the human mind could handle. You sighed.
He looked exhausted, his dull eyes sunk deep into his skull, but his irises had taken on a strange, tentative light to them. Like a child, just lost and confused.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," Italy said quietly to the group, as Romano ushered him into the main room from the bathroom, his hand on his back.
"Uh, no, that was pretty quick. Are you feeling a little better now, Italy?" America asked cautiously.
"Yes, sir. I am sorry about that. My head feels a lot better and I am fine now." Italy's gaze was focused on the floor, his posture timid.
"'Sir?'" Prussia forced a chuckle. "Er, Italy? You do know who I am...don't you?"
Italy nodded slowly and looked up. "I do. He is Mr. Japan," He pointed one finger at Japan. "You are Mr. Prussia. And he is..." He turned to face Germany.
Instead of continuing his thought, Italy merely stared for a few seconds. Everyone waited anxiously for him to finish, thinking that he may have remembered something. Italy's face was torn between many different expressions.
"Hol-"
"Hm?" Germany questioned.
"Oh, er...," Italy took a step back then, and glanced down towards the ground again. He seemed a bit shaken. "Mr... Germany."
"Italy? What's wrong with you?" Germany demanded, his voice unintentionally harsh. Italy flinched.
"Huh? Doesn't it kinda feel...as if he's talking like when he was a kid? What happened?" Spain said.
"Well, his memories are kind of jumbled and he's a little confused. He still needs some time, okay?" Romano squared his shoulders, putting a hand on Italy's head protectively.
Russia nodded. "Of course. Take your time."
"Y-yes, sir," Italy replied quietly, still looking down. "I'm sorry."
"And you stay with him, Romano-san(3)." Japan urged.
Romano nodded solemnly. "I will." He turned to his brother. "Alright. Veneziano, go to sleep! You're tired. Come here," He strode towards a pair of cots and sat down, patting the one beside him.
"B-but..."
"It's all right. Don't..." Germany hesitated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He worked to keep his voice low. and calm. "...stress out or anything. If we need anything for you, we'll ask you. Until then, be at ease."
Finally, Italy could meet Germany's eyes, if only for one second. He nodded quickly. "Okay..." Together, he and Romano made their way to their beds.
You stared after the two retreating figures, just barely having caught the conversation from one of the cots closer to the kitchen. North and South Italy made their way across the room to the set of cots on the other side. Italy sat down first and Romano sat beside him, speaking to him in a low tone. You wondered what they were talking about.
At least he has his brother with him right now. That's a big comfort, you thought.
"He's so...worn out," France murmured.
"Yeah," agreed Russia. "He probably pushed himself too hard already. He must have kept telling himself that he could try harder and harder to protect us."
Japan sighed sadly. "Let's think about what would be the best course of action."
You tuned out from the conversation, disoriented by a fresh growing pain in the center of your forehead. I want to listen... but maybe I should rest some more. You sighed dejectedly, irritated. You'd just get England or Canada or Prussia to rehash it out for you later.
Making your way to the bathroom to rinse your now overheating face with water, you accidentally bumped shoulders with Spain, who was looking elsewhere.
"Ah! Sorry-" He turned and saw who he was speaking to. His expression softened and you internally cringed a bit at the pity on his face. "Hi, (Name). How are you?"
You pointed to your head absentmindedly. His head cocked to the side in curious confusion. So you cupped the side of your face and closed your eyes, tilting you head gently into your hand.
"Oh... your head hurts?" A nod yes. "Do you want me to get China? Or Japan?" One head shake no. "Okay. Take it easy, yes? You should rest, like Italy."
Unwittingly, you flinched a little at his name.
Spain quickly raised his hands up apologetically. "He's fine, really. A bit shaken up and confused, but fine- or at least, he will be. And-" He suddenly cut off, his expression turning unsure.
And? This time you were the one to cock your head to the side.
"Well... I wanted to say..." He took a deep breath. "Truthfully, it's hard for me to wrap my head around all you, er, said, but I think I believe it. Because Romano, he can't lie about his feelings. His eyes give it away. And he was in so much pain..." His eyes closed, and your heart clenched. After a second, his green eyes blinked open again. "No one could fake that. What I really wanted to say was: don't take Romano's words to heart. He lashes out, and he's impulsive, but deep down he's very hurt and insecure right now. They're brothers, you know? Italy is his, how you say..." He pursed his lips, thinking. "His constant. Before all this, Italy was a bright shining light. It was something you could count on. Now that's all gone and Roma doesn't feel he has anything to stabilize him. So he took it out on you.
"It's true that... you could have helped Italy in the past-" He said the words gently but you still winced anyway. "But after hearing your story, chica(4), I can't blame you for being scared." Abruptly, he smiled. "You're only human, after all."
Spain's words rang in your head, over and over, as you stared at your reflection in the dingy bathroom mirror. Don't take Romano's words to heart. You're only human. You wanted to be comforted by the words, said so kindly, but they only twisted in your gut, worsening your pain.
Because you weren't human at this point. You were some sub-human, devolved, creature of reaction.
You looked down and pinched the soft skin of your forearm. Was this human? Could it possibly be? Inside you felt hideous, beastly. You were genuinely surprised that it didn't show on the outside of your body.
You moved your gaze back up. Piercing, blank (e/c) eyes stared back at you. You tried to find the human Spain saw. But all you saw was a monster.
"O-oh! I'm so sorry," A soft voice apologized from the doorway. You had accidentally left it unlocked- how unlike you.
On the other side of the door frame, there Italy stood, curled in on himself in a way that made him look much younger. "I didn't mean to intrude. I thought this room was empty..."
You both stared at each other for a long moment. His gaze was timid, but not afraid.
There was no recognition in his face.
"Your name is Miss (Name), isn't it? I don't think we've met yet." His tone was higher pitched than normal, like a child's.
You nodded, opening your mouth and then abruptly snapped it shut. You wished you could speak to him, if not to talk then to apologize. You felt a lump form in your throat.
"I'm sorry!" He apologized quickly, stepping forward suddenly. You jumped. "I forgot you don't speak. I..." He swallowed, wringing his hands in front of himself nervously. "I-I didn't meant to put you on the spot."
You waved your hand, signaling it was okay. A tiny smile touched his lips. You felt a sudden rush of heat in your chest.
He smiled.
"I'll- I'll leave you alone now. I'm sorry again!" And then he was gone.
You stared after him, a bit dazed. The headache had eased. In fact, you felt much better after seeing Italy's true smile after so long.
You smiled to yourself once and left the bathroom to get some rest.
—
A couple days passed. You rested on and off at the insistence of your new allies, and twice went on exploration trips with the others, filling them in on what you knew and where things were. You wanted to show them your hideout, but later, you decided. You knew it would come in use sometime but not now.
Italy recovered slowly, still acting young but gradually mellowing out. He was still quiet, just seeming to want to take everything in.
He had also become more friendly with you. Shy, but pleasant. Sometimes he would stares at you when he thought you wouldn't notice, looking confused as if he remembered something. You wondered if part of his memories were intact with just a hole where you had briefly been present in.
In the moment you were getting your hair braided by France. You were strangely at ease as he combed his fingers through your hair and twisted it into delicate plaits. Perhaps it was because of France's friendly chatter. But glancing to the side, you knew the real reason.
Italy sat, timid, a couple paces away, his hair also filled with several small braids. He twisted his hands together anxiously as he sat there, occasionally glancing at you and France discretely. It seemed he didn't know what to do with himself and so he just waited, listening to the conversation. France had insisted on doing his hair too, citing that he had done it in the past too, and in the state he was in, Italy couldn't protest. Romano tried to, but after Italy told him that it was fine and looked at him with wide eyes, he couldn't object.
You could feel his glare from across the room, burning into your back. You knew he wouldn't have agreed if he knew that you would be involved, but the decision was made and he couldn't take it back. You accepted his antagonism, welcomed it even, but also couldn't help but feel better seeing Italy sit beside you normally.
It was so mundane that it didn't feel real.
"-And then Prussia and I gave him a big fright!" France laughed, his hands still moving expertly through your hair. "He was mad for a bit, but if you know Spain, you know that he doesn't really hold grudges. Not against moi(5), anyway." You heard a hint of smugness in his voice.
Not wanting to be rude, you had borrowed Italy's notebook again to hold up after writing down your thoughts. France would pause and kindly read it aloud for Italy's sake.
"What happened next?"
"Oh, nothing really ma chère. That's the end of that story. Oh wait, I lie. He did get us back-" He continued on.
You weren't content, no, not really. But you were relieved, and felt secure right now, especially with seeing Italy alive and well beside you. Thinking this, you glanced at him only to catch his gaze.
He blushed, rubbed the back of his head, but didn't look away like he had a few times before now. He seems more comfortable now, you thought. He doesn't seem to hate me, at least.
But your feelings were so mixed on the subject. Romano was right- you didn't deserve to talk to him or even sit by him like this. You were part of the reason he was suffering, why his mind had fractured off pieces of his memory to keep him sane. So caught up in your thoughts, without meaning to, you made a desolate face.
"M-Miss (Name)? Are you okay?"
You blinked and looked up to see Italy leaning forward, watching you with concerned eyes. You felt France pause behind you, and then he moved to look at your face. You worked to compose yourself.
You forced a smile. "I'm fine," you mouthed.
"Okay..." Italy leaned back in his seat, his expression unconvinced. France just stared at you, thinking, before he reached out and patted your head.
"Everything will be fine, chère. Big brother France is here, non(7)? We will protect each other." He turned to look at Italy who straightened when he noticed France's gaze on him. "Italy, too! We will all protect each other."
"Si(8)," agreed Italy, meeting your eyes again. He gave you a small smile.
You kicked yourself mentally for worrying them. Pull yourself together, (Name). Worse, you could feel yourself getting a little emotional at the way they reassured you. You gritted your teeth a little. Don't be a weakling now.
A few more minutes passed in silence. You tried to contain it but eventually gave in to your curiosity. You held up the book for France to see what you had wrote.
France?
"Oui?" He replied.
You flipped to a new page and wrote out your response. This time he read it aloud.
"Do you believe me?"
—
foreign words A/N (please correct me if I'm wrong!):
—kun(1) = a friendly honorific that can be attached to the end of someone's name; it is often used when talking to males that are usually younger than you (Japanese)
-bruder(2) = brother (German)
—san(3) = a polite honorific that can be attached to the end of someone's name; it is often viewed as a way of saying "Ms", "Mr", or "Mrs", but can be used on anyone's name to show them respect (Japanese)
-chica(4) = girl (Spanish)
-moi(5) = me (French)
-ma chère(6) = my dear (French)
-non(7) = no (French)
-si(8) = yes (Spanish)