please be gentle i didn't edit this <3
❀❀❀
Pity, baby, just,
When I thought it was over,
And now you got me runnin', runnin',
Runnin' for cover.
I'm begging you for, a bit of
Sympathy,
If you use me again,
It'll be the end of me
❀❀❀
"Look at this one right here!" Phoebe runs around the pumpkin patch trying to find the biggest one.
She picks out an oval shaped one. Using her tiny body to try and pick up a giant pumpkin.
"Is that the one you want, Bug?" Vi says. "I can help you put it in the wagon." She tries to help Phoebe but she turns her body away.
"No Momma, I show Harry first." She giggles.
Phoebe wobbles her way towards me.
"Harry! Did you find a pumpkin? Look at the one I found!" She bends down and pats the top of the pumpkin.
"Oh my goodness. It's almost as big as you!" I gasp. "I haven't picked out one yet, do you want to help me?" I ask her.
She nods her head and jumps up and down. She tries to lift the pumpkin into the wagon and when Genevieve tries to help, she turns her body away and hands the pumpkin to me.
"Momma, let's help my friend pick out a pumpkin, okay?"
"Sure thing, Phoebs." Vi laughs.
The three of us walk around the pumpkin patch, waiting for Phoebe to find the perfect one for me.
The rest of the family stays behind, catching up with each other and the other families that are here with their children.
With each one I pick up she either says it's too small or the stem isn't good enough.
It has to be a big one with a long stem, she keeps saying.
"Harry Styles?" I hear my name a few feet away.
I turn my head to see two teenage girls with a shy look on their faces.
From what it looks like, they must be sisters.
"Hi." I give them a polite smile with a wave.
"We're so sorry to bother you on your time off, but we're just such big fans of yours and was wondering if we can get a picture?" The older one asks. "I mean of course, you can say no. It's a holiday after all." Her hand reaches up to her mouth nervously biting at her nails.
"I can take it for you guys if you'd like?" Genevieve speaks out gently and I give her a smile and nod.
"What's your names?" I look between the two.
"Arianna." The older one says, with a wide smile.
"Amy." The younger one says.
"It's nice to meet you, Arianna and Amy." I shake their hands. "Are you here with your family?"
"Yeah, they're over there picking out pumpkins." She points.
Their family is looking over at our interaction, so I politely give them a head nod and a wave.
"Sounds fun, I hope you're having a good Thanksgiving."
Arianna hands Genevieve the phone with a small 'thank you'.
I stand between the two of them and smile for the camera.
After the picture, Genevieve hands the phone back to Arianna. She has the sweetest smile on her face. Not at all annoyed by the sudden interruption.
Phoebe thankfully stands a few feet away, distracted by looking for pumpkins, oblivious to the new people who joined us.
The last thing I need is for these girls or anyone to post pictures of her online when they see me with her.
"We saw you on your tour and we had so much fun." Amy speaks out. "It was truly a special atmosphere you created."
"We love your music so much. We can't wait for the next album!" Arianna says.
"Thank you so much. That means a lot to me." I put my hand over my heart and give them a little bow to show my gratitude.
No matter how much I hated my life in Los Angeles, the fans always made me feel better.
"Thank you so much, Harry." Arianna says.
"Of course." I give them both hugs. "Have a great day with your family."
"Thank you, Harry." Amy says, before they both walk away.
"That was sweet." Genevieve smiles at me.
"Yeah?" I say.
"Yeah. You were really nice with them." She shrugs.
"You think I'd be rude?" I joke.
"Well no, but I know that can probably be frustrating at times... trying to have time to yourself but that time constantly gets interrupted." We continue walking while Phoebe looks at every single pumpkin.
"Well sure, it can be..." I pause. "But the way I see it is, they don't mean any harm, they're almost always respectful of my space and boundaries, I'd hate for them to see me differently just because I couldn't spare a few seconds for a small chat and photo."
There's a small moment of silence.
"You know..." She responds, and I look at her next to me. "This whole time I thought Hollywood would have changed you."
"I think if the circumstances were different, then yeah it probably would have." I tell her honestly.
If it wasn't for her being on my mind 24/7, I most definitely would have become the bad boy rockstar everyone in the industry wanted me to be.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Her head turns down to her feet and then to Phoebe.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that too." I say quietly.
I look over to where Phoebe is and I see her skipping her energetic body towards us.
"Harry, my friend!" Phoebe comes next to me and grabs my hand.
"Phoebe, my friend!" I respond.
"I found a pumpkin for you. Look!" She pulls me away.
She stands in front of a tall and round pumpkin. The stem long with a curl at the top.
"Phoebe, you found me the most perfect pumpkin!" I cheer.
"Put it in the wagon so we can take it home okay?"
I lift it up and the three of us begin walking towards the rest of the family.
"Popeye! Popeye!" Phoebe runs towards Jack and he holds her in his arms.
Genevieve stays standing next to me. It's silent for a few moments.
"Are you okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She says with a smile. "Why?"
"Well, I know we agreed on trying to keep everything out of the public eye, and with them seeing us together could start some rumors." I tell her honestly.
I don't want there to be any surprises. I want her to know everything, whether that hurts my chances or not.
"Harry, I understand that that sort of thing is out of your control. You can't help that people are going to approach you. So as long as Phoebe's safe with us then we'll be alright." She tells me, before turning towards me. "Look... I know you wouldn't do anything to put Phoebe in danger. I've watched the way you are with her and I know you'd protect her. As hard as it is for me, I've begun to trust you with her, and I'm trusting that you wouldn't do anything to break that trust. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm ready to leave you alone with her for long periods of time... but I'm doing everything I can to put Phoebe first."
"She's really lucky to have you." I tell her. "I just don't want the media to fuck this up."
"The media can say what they want, at the end of the day they're just rumors." Shrugging her shoulders, she nods her head towards the rest of the family, signaling that we should join them.
Phoebe comes back towards us with a cup in her hand.
"Popeye bought me hot chocolate." She says.
"Yum, did you thank him?" Vi asks and Phoebe responds with a nod while she takes a sip out of the cup.
Her hair is up in two buns, she wears a while long sleeve with a green corduroy dress and boots.
She drinks the hot chocolate like it's the most delicious thing in the world.
Phoebe looks around at her surroundings, taking in every single thing around her. Her eyes wide, as she stares ahead.
"Harry!" She gasps out loud. "Look!" She points to where she was staring at.
I turn my head in that direction and when I see exactly what she sees a huge cheesy grin overtakes my face.
"It's the sunnyflowers!" She jumps.
"It is, should we go look at them?" I ask her.
She interlocks her hand with mine and starts to pull me with her.
I turn my head expecting to see Genevieve following but she stays standing where she was.
"You coming?" My eyebrows furrow.
"No, you guys go ahead, I'm gonna go catch up with Gem." There's a genuine smile on her face. One that doesn't tell me she's upset or uncomfortable, but one that tells me that she's trying.
The one thing about us is even though I've been gone for so long, I still can read Genevieve like the back of my hand.
I still know her mannerisms and her nervous ticks. She might be older now, but she's still the same Genevieve I used to know.
"Are you sure?" I ask just to be safe, like I've said before, I don't want to overstep my limitations with her.
"Yeah go." She laughs. "Go look at the sunnyflowers! I'll be over there when you're done." She turns her head towards the rest of the family.
I nod my head and let Phoebe pull me away.
"C'mon Harry!" Her hand still rests in mine as she skips her way to the flowers, and I follow her lead and skip along with her.
"Oh my goodness! Look how tall they are, Harry!"
"They are so tall." I hold out my arms for her to let me pick her up and she happily obliges. "You can look closer to them. See all the seeds we saw that one day?"
"Mhm." She nods her head. "Can I smell it?"
I step closer, holding her tightly as she leans forward.
I hear her take a deep breath inhaling the fresh air full of floral scent.
"Flowers are so pretty." She says. "Pretty just like Momma." She turns her head towards me, away from the flower. "And pretty just like Harry!" She reaches her hands to my face and squeezes my cheeks together.
A baby toothed smile plastered wide on her face.
"You know what else is just as beautiful as a flower?"
She looks back at me and shakes her head.
"You." I tell her. "A beautiful, beautiful Phoebe!" I take my hand and tickle at her.
She lets out a big squeal and I quickly spin us around a couple times.
As her laughs die down, her smile never fades. Her green eyes lit up bright under the warm sun.
She's everything I ever imagined she'd be.
I can't help but feel everything for her. I feel protectiveness, happiness, proudness, love.
Everything a father would feel.
From the moment I found out I was her father, I felt everything all at once. The more I got to know her, those feelings deepened and all I want to do is be good for her. I want her to eventually know me as her father. I want to be the father that was there, that stayed.
I don't want to be the one that hurts her.
I want to do it all for her and I want to do it all for Genevieve.
Phoebe's head rests on my shoulder, twirling with the curls at the nape of my neck.
"Should we go back to your mum?" I ask her, and she nods her head, not leaving where it rests.
I walk with her still in my arms and join with the rest of the family.
Phoebe has no intention of getting down from my hold, and if I'm being honest, I don't want her to either.
I like being the one she goes to for comfort. I like that she's comfortable around me enough to show me this side of her.
Genevieve walks up next to me and runs her fingers through her hair. "You tired, Bug?" She asks and receives just a gentle nod. "It'll be nap time soon, baby."
We spend some more time socializing with each other and other families before making our way back to Grace and Jack's house to watch the football game.
The moment we walk in the door, Phoebe is wide awake again, begging Genevieve to start carving pumpkins, so I help her set out a tablecloth for an easier cleanup and the carving supplies.
I sit down next to Phoebe with both of our pumpkins sat on the table in front of us and Genevieve sits on her other side to assist her.
"First, we have to carve out the top and take out all the insides before we can start carving them okay?" Vi says as she starts to guide Phoebe through the steps of carving a pumpkin.
The three of us sit at the kitchen table while the rest of the family watches the football game in the living room.
I cut the top off and start digging in the pumpkin with my hands, not even bothering to use the scraper.
"Ew!" Phoebe giggles as her arm reaches inside the pumpkin. "This feels funny."
As I get every bit off the sides, I watch Phoebe play with the guts, pulling out each seed while Genevieve gets the rest out for her.
The both of them have a soft smile on their face, Phoebe's dimple slightly popping out on her left cheek.
It's the way we're doing such a simple activity. An activity that is so normal to most people. But it's something I never thought I'd get to do ever. I thought I would spend my whole life missing Genevieve, hating myself, wondering what would've been.
But I'm here, I get to do these activities with them. I get to know them. I get the chance to finally make it right. I'm right here, loving every single bit of it.
I don't have to drown myself in substances to shut out all the demons overtaking my mind.
I don't have to live my life faking every smile that overtakes my lips.
I don't have to love her from a distance anymore.
I can be happy. We can be happy.
"Do you know what would be funny, Momma!" Phoebe's eyes meet mine, a loud squeal leaving her lips.
"What?" Her eyebrows furrow at the sudden energy she just released.
Phoebe looks at me and then brings her hands to cup around Vi's ear. Hearing her muffled whispers and giggles, all I can make out is my name.
"What is happening right now?" I ask out of curiosity.
Genevieve's head pops up, a smile that tells me she's up to no good on her face.
"What are you two plotting...?"
Genevieve stands up out of her chair, trying to hold her laughs in. Phoebe's hands reach up to cover her mouth, body bouncing up and down as she snickers into her hands.
I don't even realize what's happening before Genevieve is behind me, smearing orange pumpkin filling all over my face.
Phoebe screams a loud laugh. "Harry, looks like a pumpkin!" Her eyes crinkle as she shakes with laughter.
I slowly turn my body around to see Gevevieve backing away from me slowly, eyes watering from her silent laughter.
I reach my hand into the pile of insides from my own pumpkin and stand up.
Genevieve lets out a small screech as I lunge at her, missing her as she runs around the table.
Making my way towards her, she backs up further into the kitchen trapping herself with no way to go.
"Don't you dare, Harry!" Vi's eyes go wide as I corner her into the counter.
"What's the matter, Genevieve?" I walk closer to her with my pumpkin gut filled hand held out in front of my chest. A playful, mischievous smile plastered on my face as I look at her. "Didn't think your actions would have consequences?"
Her face is lit up bright. Her wide hazel eyes staring into mine as I slowly come closer to her.
"Harry. I swear if you get any of that gunk on me..." She laughs.
"Or what?" I ask. "What are you gonna do about it?"
"Get Momma, Harry!" Phoebe yells from her seat at the table. I'm not facing her, but I already know she's loving this whole thing, but little does she know, she's next.
"Traitor." Vi whispers under her breath.
"The kid has spoken." I shrug my shoulders. Soft giggles come from Phoebe watching behind us.
I bring my hand closer to her face but she reaches up and tries pushing me away.
With my clean hand, I wrap it around her lower back, pulling her into me. Her back arches, nose scrunching, waiting for the inevitable.
"No, I'm sorry!" She lets out a belly laugh. "Get Phoebe, she's the brains of this operation."
"She's next." I whisper so she doesn't hear me.
As Genevieve's grip loosens on my hand, I rub it on her face. Starting from her forehead down to her chin, hooking it around, lifting her head up by my fingers to look right at me.
"Not so funny now is it, huh Vi?" I whisper.
The two of us stand here, her beautiful, beautiful eyes stare straight into mine, only leaving for a split second down to my lips.
I question if I just imagined it, but then she does it again, this time for a second longer.
The longer we look at each other, the harder it gets to breathe. I've gone three years wishing she would look at me like she's looking at me right now just one more time.
And here she is, right in front of me, looking at me like she used to.
There's no hint of hurt that I usually see everytime she looks at me now.
It's the old us coming out.
For just a moment we're back to the way we were.
It's like our faces gravitate towards each other. I don't feel myself moving forward, but here I am centimeters away from her lips.
It's like an invisible string is constantly pulling us together.
Time stops as I see her face move into mine, eyes back down to my lips.
My eyes mimic hers. Briefly looking down to her lips.
I can't help but stare at those perfect, angel lips.
Her lips slightly part, letting out a small breath.
The hand that still rests on her back gently pulls her body even closer to mine. The thumb that sits near her chin slowly moves back and forth.
This moment right here is everything I've dreamed of, everything I needed, everything I wanted while I was gone.
I just needed her in my arms again.
We're alright. I'm alright.
I decide to finally take that extra step. Moving the last inch it takes for our lips to touch...
Except they never do, and I feel my face being smeared with the cold, gooey substance again.
"You set me up!" I say, letting out a playful scoff.
"You snooze, you lose." She laughs as she runs back to the kitchen table. "Shouldn't have taken you so long." She shrugs her shoulders with a smirk before turning back around and wiping off her hands with a towel.
"You little stink!" She says to Phoebe, picking her up out of the chair and spinning her around. "Telling Harry to get me?" She laughs.
"Momma, you smell like pumpkin." She says with a straight face.
"Hmm, really? Let's see if Harry does too." She tells her as she bounces her way towards me with her still in her arms.
She gives me a look, eyebrows raising as she looks to my hand and back to Phoebe, hinting to me.
"What do you think? Does he smell like a pumpkin too?"
"Yeah, pee-yew!" She laughs, wafting her hand in front of her nose.
"What about my hand?" I ask. "Does that smell like a pumpkin?" I bring the hand that I haven't wiped off yet in front of her nose.
"Yuck, Harry!" She leans her body away from me.
"What a silly girl you were telling your mom to put this all over my face!"
"Yeah!" She cheers. "You look so goofy!"
"Do you know what would be even funnier?" I ask her and she shakes her head. "If Phoebe looked like a pumpkin? Don't you think so?" I look up to Vi.
"Oh, I think that would be so so funny!" Genevieve says.
"No..." She waves her finger back and forth. "I don't think so."
"You don't think so? Because I think this..." I pause, reaching up to her face and smearing a little bit onto her nose. It's not enough to upset her, but it's just enough to get her back. "Is so funny."
She squeals as she shakes her head away from me.
Laughter emits from the three of us, pumpkin guts spread all over our faces, as we stand there together.
Happiness written all over our faces, because this moment truly couldn't be any better.
Phoebe reaches her arms out and leans towards me, I grab her out of Genevieve's arms and she rests on my hip.
"Such a silly Harry." She gives me a tight hug and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "So, so silly." She squeezes me again, even tighter this time with her arms wrapped around my neck.
I look over Phoebe's shoulder to see Genevieve standing there with a sad smile, her head turned down to the floor as she turns away back to the kitchen table.
She begins to clean up the mess on her face and then proceeds to start to clean up the table.
"Phoebe babe, we can finish carving after dinner okay? We're gonna have to set the table soon." She says.
"Okay, Momma."
I bring her back over to the table and wipe off her face for her.
"Let's help your mum clean up okay?"
She nods her head and shimmies herself down.
I bring the pumpkins outside on the front porch so that we can start to prepare for dinner.
For the time being, everyone is sat in the family room watching the football game.
Genevieve brings Phoebe to one of the bedrooms down the hall to put her down for a short nap.
She walks out and closes the door and sits herself on the couch next to me and is immediately engaged in the game.
Today so far has been the most content I have felt in a very long time.
I feel whole again.
I don't have the void of nothingness eating away at me.
I don't have the impending urge to drown myself away, hoping, wishing I were somewhere else.
Because I'm home. I'm home with the people I love most.
Not even a half hour or so passes and a tired Phoebe walks into the family room with her stuffed elephant in one hand and her blanket dragging along behind her.
"You're awake already, Bug?" Genevieve softly says, as Phoebe's immediately plopping herself in between us.
"I missed you." She says and rests her head on Genevieve.
Sitting here watching everyone cheer at the game, smiling, laughing with each other, I can't help but just look at them.
I don't pay attention to the game. I watch every single one of them. The way they look at each other, the way they speak to each other.
Love and happiness just radiates in this room and I couldn't be more grateful to be here for it once again.
"Dinner's ready." Grace comes in after some time passed, smiling ear to ear, taking off the apron that was tied around her body.
Each one of us stand up and make our way to the dining table.
"I wanna sit by Harry." Phoebe tells Genevieve.
"Okay, go sit down, I'll make you your plate." She says.
We all make our plates with the delicious Thanksgiving food and sit down at the table. I find my seat next to Phoebe and Vi sets the plates in front of both of them.
Soft music plays in the background as everyone gets situated before we start eating.
Once everyone is sat, we all go around the table saying what we're thankful for. A tradition that we started the first time we spent Thanksgiving with the Montgomerys.
It's a normal thing for people to do on Thanksgiving, but coming from England, it was new to me and I always loved doing it.
Especially when every time, I got to hear how much I meant to Vi.
"Okay, well. I guess I'll start us off so we can dig in." Jack says. "I'm so thankful for this time I get to spend with each and everyone of you. Days like today make you realize you're not given enough time on this Earth to truly spend it how you should." He pauses. "I'm just really grateful to have you all in my life, because without you, everything would be different."
"I'm thankful that we finally get to spend our time all together again." Grace looks at me, and gives me a soft smile. "I'm thankful that I get to be a part of my beautiful granddaughter's life and watch her grow."
"I'm thankful that I get to have my children here with me, together. I'm thankful that Harry's home, safe and healthy. And I'm thankful that I get to have this beautiful life here with all of you." My mum speaks up.
"I'm thankful for this little one right here, giving me all the happiness in the world." Genevieve looks down at Phoebe and rubs her hand back and forth on her back. "I don't know what I would do without her love and laughter in my life."
Phoebe looks up at Genevieve and smiles.
"Do you want to say what you're thankful for, Bug?" She asks.
It takes her a little bit to respond, everyone looking at her with patience as she tries to decide.
"I don't know, Momma." She looks up at Genevieve shyly.
"It's okay, baby. You don't have to. If you want to tell us, you can say what makes you such a happy girl?"
Phoebe's face lights up.
"Umm. Momma makes me so happy when she cuddles with me and is silly with me! And popeye when he gives me cookies! And Grandmas when they give me gifts! And Auntie Gemma and Maya when they sing with me! And Uncle Elijah when he tells me goofy jokes! And Archie when he plays tug with me! And tinkerbell! And sunnyflowers! And baking with Momma! And my bestest friend Harry! Harry plays fairies with me and draws with me and plays the piano with me and..." She cheers as she lists everything that makes her happy. She grabs my arm and squeezes it.
"Oh my goodness, that's a lot of things that make you so happy Phoebe!" Genevieve stops her, because we all know that she will talk for hours if we let her. "I love that you're such a happy girl. Let's hear what Harry's thankful for?" She tells her gently.
"Yay, Harry!" She leans on my arm.
"Well I'm thankful for my best friend Phoebe for letting me play fairies and spend time with her!"I say and I hear her giggle. "But I'm also so grateful that I get to have the second chance to be here with you all. I know that I made such horrible and selfish decisions in the past, but I just want to use this time to tell you all that I'm so sorry for hurting you and I'm doing everything I can to make it up to you." I pause, taking a deep breath. "I just want to thank you all for letting me back into your lives, I promise I won't mess this up again."
It's silent for a few moments as everyone takes in my words. I know it's hard for them to act like I've done nothing wrong and I know it's hard for them to give me this second chance when I've hurt them so bad, but it's just something I need them to know I won't take for granted.
"Well... I, for one, am so grateful that my baby brother has finally come to his senses and came home to us." Gemma speaks softly from next to me. "But I also am so grateful that I'm able to tell you, I'm pregnant." Everyone's eyes widen, smiles lit up on their faces. "The baby is due in April, we're unsure of the gender and don't plan on knowing until they're here with us." Gemma's eyes start to water as she tells us her incredible news.
"I am thankful for everything Gemma said. I can't find the right words for how excited and happy I am for this journey with her. I'm grateful that you have let me into this family with open arms."
Everyone begins to ask Gemma and Elijah questions about their plans for their baby and their pregnancy, but I zone it all out.
Because as happy and ecstatic as I am, I can't help but think about their reactions to Genevieve's pregnancy.
I can already imagine it was as heartfelt and happy as they are for Gemma because she's having this baby with someone who's here and will be in this baby's life.
But Genevieve didn't have that. She had to announce to her family that she's having a baby whose father upped and left them behind. She had to do it all alone and I can't even imagine how scared she was.
That's something that will always haunt the back of my mind.
I truly don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that, no matter how hard I try.
But I've been given a second chance at this, I'm not alone anymore.
I'm finally home.
❀❀❀
things are a lil toooo happy aren't they?
this is probably the last of the filler chapters .... any predications?
thank you for your patience with me. i know it's frustrating having to wait for updates, but i love you and i'm trying my best.
(if anyones selling 2 chicago pit tickets for face value please message me) (don't judge, me and jackie are desperate)
ily <3