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I don't believe that time will change your mind

In other words

I know they won't hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

You can start a family who will always show you love

You don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own

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TW: this is a heavy chapter, if you feel that topics about terminal cancer is too much for you, take a step back. my dm's are always open if you need a synopsis of what happens in the chapter or if you just need someone to be here.
also please, please be gentle with it. this is so personal to me & my own life.
i love you, mean it. <3

2 Weeks Later

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2 Weeks Later

I barely slept last night.

Every time I closed my eyes, all I could picture in my mind were the way the headlights shined so bright into my eyes just moments before impact.

Every time I close my eyes, I can feel the fear I felt so deeply make its way through me all over again.

Every time I was able to doze off just the slightest bit, I heard Phoebe's loud screams for me, the sirens of the ambulances, and the sound of glass shattering into me.

It doesn't matter what I did, I just couldn't get it out of my head.

Having them here right beside me eases my anxiety, but the moment I'm meant to sleep and my world goes quiet my mind screams so loud.

I've tried to spend every moment I can with my two perfect girls, but Genevieve has just opened her salon and Phoebe went back to preschool after taking time away to adjust and just like that I was left alone to my thoughts.

I've slowly moved myself in. Going back to my mum's house the day after the accident nearly broke me into pieces.

The way everything was left just the way it was, untouched.

Cleaning it all up was even harder for me to do. Folding all the blankets with tears sliding down my face, hanging up the costumes I wanted so badly to show Phoebe as they wait to be played with another day.

I know that we have other nights. I know that she's safe and we can redo those plans anytime we want.

But the problem is I can't be trusted alone with her.

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⏰ Last updated: May 29, 2023 ⏰

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