warning!
this is a follow up for the last chapter, and contains panic attacks as well as wetting and slight bullying.
Billy woke up the next day, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he sat up, but his eyes widened in shock as he felt the damp fabric of his pants cling to his legs.
The blond ripped the sheets off himself, to examine the damage.
He felt tears prickle in his eyes as he realised he had wet the bed for the first time in ages.
His dad was going to absolutely kill him if he found out-
Billy had a bed wetting problem for a long time after his mother left them, but Neil Hargrove had basically beaten it out of him.
And now, Billy had woken up in wet sheets again, and even though he knew it was his dads fault for injuring him the day prior, he felt horrible.
Silent tears streamed down his face as he pressed his lips together tightly to not make any noise.
The boy got up, shivering in fear and disgust for himself, and pulled the sheets off the bed, throwing them into his laundry basket.
Luckily, he had to do his own laundry, so there was no way anyone would notice if he was being quick.
Once Billy made sure the basket was hidden under his desk and his bed was freshly covered in new sheets, he peeled himself out of his soiled pants, internally cursing himself out.
Being in a small headspace to cope was one thing, but also having the body control of a toddler? He hated himself for it.
A thought flashed through Billy's mind, but he quickly shook it off, too embarrassed to give it actual consideration.
Looking over at the clock, Billy realised it was already a little past 5am, so there was no use in going back to sleep, and he would actually be able to shower before anyone could walk into him at this hour.
So Billy went to do just that, grabbing a new pair of sweatpants from his closet before leaving the room and making his way over to the bathroom.
He took a quick shower, scrubbing off the shame along with his bodily fluids, pulling pained faces as he accidentally brushed against a bruise on his arm.
After he got out of the shower, he dried himself off and got dressed in only the pants, throwing the shirt and sweats he had slept in in his laundry basket once he got to his room again.
Billy sat down on the bed with a sigh, thinking about the items Max had bought the day prior.
He didn't want to wear diapers, especially not in school, but wetting himself in class would be a lot worse, especially if he would wear loose jeans today so no one could tell.
Deciding that he preferred being safe over being sorry, the blond pulled the pack of pull-ups from under his bed, taking one out and once again debating if he should actually do it.
With a sigh, he pulled his pants down and put on the pull-up on, cringing slightly at the crinkle sounds that it made.
„I'm going to kill myself if anyone sees this" he muttered, searching through his closet to pick out an outfit for the day.
He chose a red button up and washed out jeans that weren't tight around his bottom so no one would notice anything.
Once Billy was dressed, he looked himself up and down in the mirror, but he didn't notice the pull-up whatsoever, so he let it go, still a bit nervous.
Before hiding the package under his bed again, he grabbed another one, shoving it down to the bottom of his bag, as well as the baby powder and wipes in case he needed to change himself, because there was no way he would sit in a soiled diaper for longer than he had to.
There was a knock on his door and Billy just managed to push the package under his bed before the door opened slightly and Max peaked her head inside.
„Morning Bills, are you okay?" she yawned, looking at him with tired eyes.
„Yeah- I just woke up early" he lied, laughing slightly at Max's bed head.
„Go brush your hair Max, you look like a mop" he chuckled, Max flipping him off as she left his room again.
Billy decided to wait for her outside, since he didn't want to run in his dad and risk being beaten up before school.
He sneaked out of the house to avoid making too much noise that could bother his dad and give him a reason to be upset with the blond.
Max was outside shortly after, throwing her bag in the car and getting in.
Billy stomped out his cigarette, getting in the drivers seat and pulling a face at the faint noise of the pull-up.
Max looked over at him, and he realised she knew but didn't say anything, and he was grateful about it.
„Okay red, better be on time later or you have to walk" Billy said as he parked his car, giving her a slight shove as she stuck her tongue out.
„Yeah right, as if you would do that. And be careful, yeah?" she smiled, getting out and slamming the door close.
Billy groaned, knowing exactly what she talked about but not wanting to think about it.
The pull-up felt weird against his skin and it made him panic slightly that Max had immediately noticed.
But she just did because she knew he had them, Billy tried to convince himself as he got out of the car and locked it.
„Morning, Hargrove" Steve shouted over at him, followed by Robin who waved at him, slightly hiding behind Steve as she was still a little sceptical of him.
„Hey Harrington, Buckley" he nodded, grabbing onto his keys tightly in fear.
But neither of the two said anything besides trying to make smalltalk, so Billy relaxed a little, walking towards the highschool with them.
The day went by slowly, and Billy found himself completely exhausted by the time lunch break came around.
Since he never ate in school, the blond put his head on the table, trying to ignore Tommy and Steve bickering and some senior yelling at someone else.
But before Billy could fall asleep, someone called out his name and he lifted his head up again to look at Tommy.
„What's with you today, Hargrove. You look dead" the boy exclaimed, laughing at himself for no apparent reason.
Billy just rolled his eyes, groaning.
„Zip it, I had a hard night" he said, and if wasn't even that much of a lie if you thought about it.
But Tommy didn't let it go, instead giving him a shove that almost made Billy lose his balance and fall off the bench.
„Oh I'm sorry for talking to you, princess. Didn't know we were so sensitive today" he mocked, and Billy bit his inner cheeks to not reply anything stupid.
„Awh, is the little princess too great to have a chat with the normal citizens?" Tommy rolled his eyes, and the blond flipped him off, getting up from the table and leaving the cafeteria while he gritted his teeth.
There was no reason for him to get this upset, but he was on edge since the morning and couldn't handle more bickering.
The rest of the break, Billy spent in the classroom they'd be in next, head on his table and drifting off into sleep shortly after.
When he woke up, it was Steve that had done it and Billy was about to spit some nasty things at him but then he realised the teacher coming inside in that exact moment, so he just nodded Steve off and leaned back to focus on the lesson.
Not even a minute after the teacher had started talking though, Billy realised it had happened again.
The soggy diaper was feeling uncomfortable against his skin and the boy started shifting uncomfortably, scared to ask the teacher if he could leave, because he couldn't take his backpack with him.
Billy whined slightly as he tried to focus on what the teacher was saying, but he couldn't, small tears forming in his eyes from how uncomfortable and scared he was.
The boy pressed his eyes shut, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, before he felt a nudge on his shoulder.
Steve, who sat next to him in most classes, looked at him worried, silent questions in his eyes.
But Billy wouldn't be able to handle confrontation at this moment, so he just send Steve a wobbly smile and turned his head towards the board again.
The time creeped by, every minute torturing Billy, who was in fear of anyone noticing. When the bell finally dismissed them, the blond was the first to get up and sprint out of the room, to be the first one in the gym.
He was going to take a shower before basketball practice and everything would be okay, no one would notice-
Too caught up in his thoughts, he didn't realise Tommy was following him, looking for something to have in hand against Billy.
The boy figured since the blond had been acting so weird, there must be something he was hiding.
Steve was coming after him, arms crossed and not convinced by Tommys plans to spy on Billy, but he knew he couldn't stop the other.
„You go look in the locker rooms" Tommy told him, and Steve just went over to the door with a sigh, closing it behind himself.
„Hargrove?" he asked, but stopped when stifled cries were heard from behind a row of lockers.
Steve carefully made his way around them, looking down on a crying Billy in confusion.
„Hargrove?" he asked again, and this time Billy's head shot up and he quickly wiped his tears.
„What do you want?" he growled, ready to even put up a fight if that meant Steve wouldn't tell anyone he was crying.
„You alright man..?" the brunette just asked, and Billy nodded aggressively.
„I'm fine! Why are you here, don't you hang out with your little assistant during breaks?" Billy hissed.
Steve took a deep breath, crossing his arms.
„Dude, you can chill out. I'm not gonna tell anyone you were in here crying, so get it together. Maybe skip training today if you're not doing good, I'll tell the coach, okay?" the brunette huffed, and Billy sighed.
„Maybe you're right. Sorry for being rude, I'll leave...thank you" Billy muttered, turning around and leaving the locker room.
He knew there had been no reason to go off at Steve but he was overwhelmed, embarrassed that he had to change himself in school and tired out from the fear of being caught all day.
Billy went to his car, leaning against it and smoking a cigarette while waiting for Max, whose class would end in about twenty minutes.
He pulled out a cigarette from the packaging, taking a long drag to calm his nerves.
When the familiar red hair of his sister peaked through the groups of students, Billy felt himself relax, immediately feeling safer when Max stopped next to him.
„Hey, are you alright? Don't you have basketball practice?" she asked, worried tone in her voice. Billy shook his head.
„Skipped" he admitted, feeling how he slowly regressed just because he was finally with his sissy again.
„Oh why's that hun?" Max looked at him as she got in the car, buckling up.
„Had an accident an' cried" Billy admitted, not even trying to stay big anymore as he slammed the car door close so they had privacy.
„Oh no you poor baby" Max cooed, hugging Billy, who let himself sink into her arms.
„Is okay, no one noticed I think" he muttered, sighing in content of his sister's embrace.
„Well that's good, I'm very proud of you for handling that all by yourself sweetheart. How about we go eat ice cream before going home" the redhead suggested, and Billy squealed.
„Yes! Wan' stra'berry sissy!" he grinned, bouncing in the drivers seat. Max chuckled, getting out of the car again and helping Billy lock it before taking his hand, careful so no one would see.
„Alright sweetheart, I'm going to need you to be a big boy for sissy now, okay?" she smiled, and Billy nodded maybe a little too seriously, but the girl chuckled and brought him over to a ice cream shop, getting Billy a cone with strawberry ice cream like he asked, and chocolate for herself.
When they sat down on a bench near the parking lot where Billy's car was, Max looked over at her brother, laughing at the mess he had made.
„Sweetheart, did any of that even enter your mouth?" she asked while grabbing a tissue and wiping his face.
Billy giggled with a nod, swinging his legs a little as they ate.
„So, how was your day sweetheart?" Max smiled, watching Billy play with his fingers as soon as he was done with the ice cream.
„Was okay, bu' I fell asleep befo'e maths an' then Stevie had to wake me up" he admitted, and Max gasped playfully.
„Stevie? As in Steve Harrington?" she smiled, glad her brother didn't seem to mind him while he was little.
„Yep! An' he also said I should go home b'cause I was cryin' before basketball an' he saw" Billy continued, and Max cooed at him.
„Poor baby, I'm so proud of you for going through all that. How about we walk home today? You can get your car later, or tomorrow after school" she suggested, as there was no way Billy would be able to drive while being little.
„Oki sissy" the blond nodded, getting up after her and holding onto her pinky as Max started walking.
Billy stopped a few times, pointing at dogs and cats, and even birds when he saw them, making Max smile at how much he loved animals when he was tiny.
They got home, Max checking inside for Neil and her mum before waving Billy inside as well, helping him take off his shoes as their parents weren't home yet.
„Okay sweetheart, what do you wanna do?" the girl asked, looking at Billy.
„Can I hav' juice please?" he asked back, getting the sippy cup Max bought for him.
„Of course sweetheart, please change while I'm getting you the juice, yeah? Get out of those big boy clothes" Max smiled, and Billy nodded, closing the door behind her and walking over to his closet.
He pulled out a matching set of pirate themed pyjamas he had gotten as a joke for Christmas by a friend in California before they moved.
Now he put them on, hesitating when he went to put on boxershorts.
He was home, and how bad could it be to not rely on his instincts to tell him when he needed to go? The pull-ups left him in a slightly regressed state all day, and now that he wasn't in school anymore, maybe that wasn't so bad...
With that decision, Billy grabbed the thicker diapers from under his bed, struggling a bit as he used the powder from his bag and closing the thick cotton pad up, taking in the feeling.
He felt...safe, and even smaller than usual.
Billy slightly kicked his legs, giggling as he put on the pyjama pants.
„Are you done sweetheart?" Max's voice came through the door.
Billy wanted to answer her, but he found it hard to talk, so he just squealed and made some silly noises in hopes Max would understand.
And indeed she did, entering the room and humming in awe at the sight of her brother obviously wearing a diaper, kicking his legs and making grabby hands up at her.
„Awh, what a cute baby you are" she cooed „Can you tell me how old you are Billy?"
The blond held up two fingers, and Max smiled as he climbed over to her to grab his sippy cup.
„Carefully, babyboy" Max told him, getting the pacifier from his box while Billy drank the juice.
When he was done, Max replaced the sippy with the pacifier, watching it bob between the littles lips as he used it.
„What a good boy! You finished all your juice, Im so proud of you" Max cooed, looking down as Billy laid on her lap, looking up at her with big blue eyes.