Tuesday, 9th of July
Louis wakes up in the bed, alone.
He sighs when he remembers every single little thing that happened the day before.
What a fucking mess. He's a mess. The worst part is, he dragged Harry into this mess unknowingly.
He groans and rolls over. Maybe or maybe not sniffing Harry's pillow in the process.
He takes 10 long minutes to get up but when he does he's kinda relieved when he doesn't see Harry anywhere.
He's afraid he couldn't take the confrontation right now.
Once in the kitchen a wave of freshly baked pancakes hits his nose, almost making his knees weak. That's how good it smells.
There's a post it on the microwave too.
"Goodmorning,
Went for my run but I made breakfast in case you wake up before I'm back.
Put it in for a minute and don't burn yourself :)
H"
Louis smiles like an idiot at that small note. Harry makes him smile like an idiot, and he does not deserve this.
He sighs happily and turns it on for a minute like the younger lad instructed. Looking down he sees a jar of Nutella ready to be spread onto them.
Harry knows him inside and out. Even after all these years. Or Louis barely changed..
He gets the pancakes out and Harry knew him again, he burns his finger.
"I told you not to burn yourself," someone chuckles from behind him.
Louis turns around with his pinky in between his lips. He has to double take because what the fuck.
Harry runs without a shirt.
Let me explain to you what Louis is seeing right now.
Harry's hair is in a bun but his baby hairs are sticking to his forehead, his torso is glistening in sweat and his shorts are almost fucking booty shorts.
"I-"
"Put it under some water, c'mon," Harry pulls him to the sink and puts his pinky under the stream.
"How are you not hungover?"
"I drank tons of water," Harry shrugs.
"You're a superhuman," Louis scoffs.
Harry chuckles and looks a bit closer at his hand, "Should be okay, if it's still hurting later on I'll give you some ointment."
"Thanks.. for the breakfast too."
"No worries, love to cook," Harry tells him, "I'm going to hit the shower real quick, mom told me we should meet them at 10."
Louis looks at his watch, "That's in like 20 minutes!"
"I know, eat and get dressed!" Harry yells back.
Louis practically inhaled his pancakes, quite the shame cause they were sent from heaven.
Harry will be the dead of him someday. If it isn't him, it'll be his cooking for sure.
"Harry!"
"Yes!?"
"Where are we going today?"
"I don't know!" Harry yells back, "Mom told me to wear casual!"
"Alright," Louis mutters to himself and puts on a white shirt and some basic jeans shorts.
Harry interpreted casual as half a fucking fashion contest, making Louis squirm on his feet.
"Ready to go?" Harry asks.
Louis nods and puts on his sunglasses.
"Ah boys, right on time, we're leaving for a day in a survival park."
"Sick," Louis smiles but sees Harry swallowing thickly.
Oh right, he's scared of heights.
"You kids can drive a car too, so you can come back whenever," Anne smiles, knowing they won't join them in all activities.
Right before they get into the car Louis stops Harry, "H, you'll be fine. If you don't want to do something today, no one will make you, okay?"
Harry nods, "It's no problem."
"You basically turned green, lo-" Louis cuts himself off with a cough, "Just tell me when you get scared."
Harry nods again, "Thanks, Lou."
The latter smiles in response and joins their sisters in the car.
~
Louis has the time of his life, Harry can see that. He's smiling so widely he's afraid his face might split and the crinkles by his eyes will be tanned in his skin.
They went kayaking, Louis and Harry shared one since neither Lottie nor Gemma wanted to step foot with Louis in one.
Harry gets them, he really does. But he trusts Louis.
Bad, bad, bad decision.
He can't emphasize that enough.
They flipped over, of course. Louis was wiggling too much.
Harry spluttered out the water while everyone, mostly their sisters, laughed at them. Louis being (the old) Louis, he didn't even care about swallowing water himself and immediately helped Harry.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Harry coughs, "Just a tiny bit wet."
They both laugh eventually and get back in their kayak.
"God, Louis, you almost drowned the boy!" Jay gasps, having to hold back her laugh herself.
"I'm fine, Ms Tomlinson," Harry smiles, pushing back his wet curls.
Louis' mom smiles back at him but he can see Louis' dad's disapproving look towards Louis though.
He frowns and nudges Louis, "Don't be so down, Lou. I'm fine, really. It was.. refreshing."
Louis smiles, but not fully, the crinkles by his eyes nowhere to be found.
"Thanks and sorry."
"No worries, really, c'mon let's race everyone to the finish line. We'll win easily."
That seems to lift up his mood and he nods, getting ready to beat everyone.
Harry should've thought this through. Louis' white shirt got wet. His white shirt.
Louis' muscles are visible through the thin fabric.
He suddenly wishes he took the front of the kayak.
~
Harry's hands shake when he sees the survival parkour, a climbing parkour more likely.
"You can go ahead and climb, kids. We're going to the city to have some drinks," Robin tells them before leaving them to it.
Louis grabs Harry's arm right before they go in, "H, you don't have to do this."
"It's okay," Harry shakes his head.
"What are you two waiting for? Are you babies scared of heights?" Gemma yells back.
Probably something Louis would've done too if it weren't for Harry's phobia.
Louis rolls his eyes when Harry fakes his determination. He knows he's dying on the inside. He almost cried when they used to climb on Louis' treehouse back in the days.
"Do you want me to go behind or in front of you?"
Harry looks up with wide eyes, probably calculating in his head what the safest choice would be.
"Uhm, in front of me- but don't leave me behind!" Harry cuts himself off, almost pleading Louis.
"Of course not," Louis assures him.
Times like this really make Harry doubt if Louis really changed or if this is just some sick twisted joke and he will leave Harry behind on the parkour.
If he will, Harry might pee his pants and cry like a baby.
Let's pray to god Louis changed back to the old one.
"C'mon, losers! You're so slow," Gemma yells, already climbed the first one.
"Don't listen to her," Louis tells him while checking Harry's gear for the third time, "You're safe, you're stuck on his and won't fall at any time."
Harry nods but stops Louis when he's about to go on, "I- I changed my mind, will you go behind me?"
Louis nods back at him, "Go on, take your time."
His words are actually really reassuring to Harry. Who would've guessed it a week ago that Louis would be encouraging Harry in a survival park.
The climb up went smoothly but the first obstacle was a climbing net, which went alright. He paused in the middle but Louis talked him through, telling him to not look down but just in front of him.
The second one were car tires to climb on, that went alright too. Harry only doubted his will to live like twice.
The whole parkour goes smoothly until he gets to a wobbly bridge that's only made of a beam to stand on and has a rope to hold onto.
It's not the obstacle that does it, it's Gemma fucking with Harry by wiggling the beam, almost making him slip and shriek.
"Gemma, no! Don't fucking do that!" Louis yells, not even caring about the kids in front of them.
Louis sees how Harry's panicking and mentally stuck right now, in the fucking middle of the beam.
"Hey, I was joking around, give it a rest," Gemma scoffs.
"Fuck, H. C'mon, love, just a few more steps. If Gemma touches it I swear I'll kill her," Louis coaxes him.
"I'm scared," Harry tells him, eyes closed.
Gemma snickers but stops when Louis throws her a hard glare, "It's okay, Haz."
"Why don't you sit down on the beam. If you sit down I can help you," Louis tells him.
Harry sighs shakily and opens his eyes, looking down and almost losing balance.
"Easy, H. Try to keep your eyes on the tree in front of you."
"I can't, Lou," Harry panics.
"Okay, I'm going to try to join you. It will wiggle a bit but it's just me, hold on tight."
"Please."
Louis steps on and makes the tiniest steps ever, keeping the wiggling at its minimum. Once behind Harry he wraps an arm around his waist.
"Tiny steps, Harry. We'll do it together, okay?"
Harry grips his arm tightly, almost painfully but Louis doesn't mind. He just wants Harry safe on steady grounds right now.
When they get to the platform Louis' arm doesn't leave Harry, the latter even turns around, hugging Louis for real.
"Thank you."
"It's nothing, H."
Harry pulls back, wiping his sweaty face, "It is to me."
"Let's skip the zip line and get you down to drink something, yeah?"
"Don't you want to do it?"
Louis shakes his head, "It's okay, nothing I haven't done before. C'mon, you're looking a bit pale."
Harry frowns, it's a zip line that travels over some beautiful nature, how does Louis not want to do this.
Is he really skipping it for him.
It's kinda too much for Harry. Louis is exactly how he used to be right now. Caring, sweet, altruistic,.. every positive word in the world would describe this Louis.
~
"I'm sorry again, little bro. Never knew you were that afraid of heights," Gemma tells Harry one last time in the car before stepping out of it.
Louis frowns, driving towards their lodge.
"How does she not know, Harold?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been scared since forever, like really really scared," Louis frowns.
"Geez, don't have to empathize it like that," Harry snaps and gets out of the car when they arrive.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like a bad thing. I'm just saying, you're really scared of heights. How does she not know? She's your sister."
Harry shrugs and drops down on the couch, today had been mentally exhausting for him.
"I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just won-"
"Would you drop it already?!" Harry asks, raising his voice.
Louis is startled, hell, Harry is even startled by his outburst.
"Shit, Lou- I didn't mean to, I'm sorry-"
"It's alright, I deserve it after everything, I suppose." Louis mutters, going to the kitchen to get some water.
Harry stands up and follows him, "No, you don't. You've been nothing but kind the last few days. Thank you for that. Thank you for today."
Louis nods before gulping down the glass.
"I don't like it."
"What?"
"Being vulnerable like that, being scared of something stupid."
"You never cared when you were with me," Louis frowns.
Harry sighs softly, "It's because I was never afraid of being myself with you, ever. You made me feel safe with every flaw, until.."
"Until I ditched you," Louis mutters, finishing Harry's sentence.
"No! I mean, yeah, kinda. But it was mostly because of all the bullying I went through when you were gone," Harry looks down.
"I just don't like to give people reasons to pick on me, ever since."
"Harry.."
"It's hard, you know- actually you don't. Imagine not being able to express yourself like you want to. Imagine knowing you could be beaten up for just being you. It's fucking hard to be vulnerable if your vulnerability is something other people use to justify abuse towards you," Harry rants, a tear leaving his eye while doing so.
Louis wants to scream, he wants to fucking yell.
He does know.
He knows how Harry feels, exactly how he feels.
Now would be a great time to tell him.
But no. He's too scared.
How fucking ironic. He's, just like Harry, scared of his own damn vulnerability.
"I have something for you," Louis mutters, going to the bedroom to find the small bag.
"What?" Harry asks, confused while wiping a tear.
He rushes back into the kitchen once he found it and hands it over.
When Harry opens it he gasps, hand covering his mouth, "You bought it?"
"You wanted it 'cause it would fit your yellow one," Louis shrugs.
"How did you-"
"I listened when you told Lottie, before you cut yourself off, that is."
Harry blushes, looking down, "I was afraid you'd find me disgusting."
Louis closes his eyes, trying not to get angry right now. He lifts Harry's chin up once he opens his eyes again.
"Look at me, I will never and have never found you disgusting. What those people at school said, fuck them. They're uncomfortable in their own masculinity and were jealous of you, your nails were fucking pretty that day," Louis tells him.
Harry sniffles, "You knew about that?"
"H, I saw it happening.."
~
"What the fuck, are you even a boy? What is this," some boy takes Harry's hand, looking at his nails.
Harry doesn't know what to do or what to say.
"You being gay was a sin already, but nail polish, really? Maybe you should cut your dick off too, it's not like you're worthy of it," another one chuckles.
Louis wants to rip their dick off, he might as well just do it.
No, he can't come close to Harry anymore.
But he has to help him, fuck.
Luckily Harry is saved by the bell and the guys leave him alone when it rings. Louis sees the tears in his eyes though, begging himself to go over there and soothe him.
But no. He can't.
He has to protect Harry and himself from hurt they don't deserve.
In class he sees the boy chipping off the polish with his nails, making him rage in his seat and his heart break in a million pieces. He should never be ashamed of who he is and what he wants to wear, goddamnit.
~
"I saw them picking on you in the hallway," Louis grunts.
Harry looks up, eyes as glossy as ever, "Why didn't you do something?"
"I did do something."
Harry frowns, not understanding anything.
"They stopped after that, right?"
Harry nods, still confused- but then it clicks.
"You- you did that?"
He, now, remembers that the boys who picked on him had bruises on their face the day after and only looked mad at Harry. He thought they just gotten into a random fight because they were that kind of people but no.
Louis nods and Harry flies in his arms and sobs out, "You didn't have to get violent against them, but thank you."
"They deserved every punch and even more."
"Lou- why? I thought you hated me back then."
Louis pulls back, looking at Harry, "I told you this before. I never ever ever hated you. I couldn't."
"I'm not even going to ask why anymore, you'll tell me when you're ready," Harry says defeatedly.
Louis pulls him back into his arms, "I will, I promise. I'm so sorry I wasn't by your side when all of this happened."
"You were. I just didn't know it. Thank you, for the nail polish too."
~
Hi!!!
This book is soooo not being read but I enjoy writing it so why the hell not, right?
I kinda love this summer story, giving me the right vibes right now :)) I added in a pic of a survival parkour, idk if other countries out of Belgium have it but yeah, it's fun!
Thank you for reading!! Love you all!!