Morgan Sinclair
With every passing day I hate the half a blood bag thing more and more. I'm alive and I'm functioning and that's all the positives I could say about it.
My hair-trigger temper has been my least favorite problem. Before this I was never one to be outwardly angry, I made it a point not to be. So the fact that it's been surfacing and surfacing quickly is wildly concerning to me. It's making my hunger worse than it already is. All the things associated with hunger- the burning, the pain, all of it sets me off and not being allowed to have the one thing I know will quell all of it... well it angers me.
Dane and I have made it a daily thing to go to the compounds library to sit and read. We don't really talk, maybe a quick, 'how are things?' then nothing further. Dane isn't much for talking, but the not talking isn't awkward. It's nice, it's probably the calmest I feel all day. Then usually later on in the day I'll go to the gym with Chloe who's been teaching me basic fighting stuff.
I've been avoiding Kellan just as he has been avoiding me. The last words we had with each other were two weeks ago and it was the breakup. If we pass each other in the hall it's a quick glance and nothing more. I do hear his heartbeat speed up whenever we see each other. He told me he loves me while I was breaking off our relationship and those three words echo in my mind all the time. I didn't know he felt that strongly about me.
I think it's for the best.
I can't be myself around him. But then again how can I complain about not being able to "be myself" when I don't know who that is or what that looks like? What's it like to be sure of yourself? It must be nice.
Victoria returned a couple of days after the Nephilim blood event. Dane called her to say everything's fine shortly after Grayson woke up so she stayed in New York. She probably had a lot to deal with given a couple of her nobles were killed.
No ones brought up that night since. I've walked into brief conversations about Nephilim blood itself but that's it. I honestly don't think Grayson even remembers it he was so out of his mind. He's back to business as usual: snide remarks about Kellan and I, flirty comments, he'll purposefully drag out drinking from a blood bag in front of me just to annoy me. I really felt bad for him that night. Not so much anymore.
I was feeling especially irritable and hungry tonight and I still have an hour before I'm allowed to eat so I decided to wander around the main house of the compound to try and walk it off.
There's so many hallways and rooms and balconies. It's excessive. I miss Chloe's house. I knew where everything was and it was homey and welcoming and she had these nice speakers in her living room perfect for us to drunkenly scream sing along to songs to. Whoever Kellans friend is that owns this place is a big fan of brutalism. It's all so rigid and uninviting. Everything looks the same, concrete walls and floors, a dim light every 10 feet or so, it's maddening. The singular plant in the hallway a little while back was the most exciting thing I've seen so far.
I find my way back to the front of the house, going outside to the cool breeze on my face. I walk to the side leaning up against the harsh exterior of the house adamantly ignoring the hunger pains periodically assaulting my body.
"What are you doing up, isn't it past your bedtime?" I hear Graysons husky accented voice.
"It's like 10." I respond not looking at him.
"Yeah, past your bedtime."
I scoff as I face him. "What do you want?"
He shrugs. "Nothing. I was just curious. I don't know your schedule, I genuinely assumed you'd be asleep by now."
"Couldn't sleep even if I wanted to." I say turning my attention back to the vast darkness of the surrounding parts of the large compound.
"Ah. What's the issue? Kellan's ego taking up too much room?" He fake gasps and I suck my teeth. "I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you two called it quits." He feigns sympathy only sounding as smug as ever.
"Shouldn't you be killing some poor innocent girl right now?"
"It's a little early for that." He says unfortunately walking over to me.
"Oh right it's only 10." I snark as he leans against the house next to me. The last thing I want right now- Grayson in my presence.
"Exactly." He crosses his arms and looks me over, I hope he can see my blatant irritation and walks away. "You're a little snippy tonight." He points out.
"I'm in a mood." Clearly.
"In a mood? Is that a new way of saying you're starving? Half a blood bag going well?"
"It's working fine." I lie.
"Based on your behavior and your appearance that somewhat resembles a crackhead going through withdrawal-."
"Thank you so much, you're too kind."
He chuckles lapsing his tongue over his bottom lip. "Based on that, I'd say it's just barely keeping you functioning." I stay silent keeping my eyes on the softly illuminated concrete in front of me. I really hate when he's right. "You're silence is deafening." He says lowly.
"Okay. I'm a little-."
"A lot." He corrects me.
"I am hungry... I just have to adjust to it." I seem to always be having to adjust.
"No they have to adjust to you."
"It's fine." They're all disciplined. This works clearly, I trust them but I do feel like shit.
"It's not fine. How does your body feel right now?"
"Wrong." I exhale. "Like it's always been." I say under my breath.
"What do you mean always?" He questions, stepping out in front of me commanding my attention.
I catch his oddly intense stare through narrowed eyes. "My body's never felt right. I just thought there was something wrong with me but turns out it was repressed vampirism."
He quickly lightens his gaze like his sudden interest in my words was a mistake on his part and shook it off. "Couldn't figure that one out?"
"It was next on my list of possible explanations."
He looks around- either he's intently thinking or checking for something. He bites his lip briefly and takes a breath. "Alright. Let's go."
I blink at him. "Go where?"
He shrugs. "It's a surprise."
"That's worrying."
"It's not anything you need to worry about, it'll be a fun time."
"Coming from you, that's worrying."
"Well, I'm sorry did you have some other riveting activities planned for the rest of your night? Starving, maybe some crying, or-."
"Shut up." I snap at him.
"Then let's go. Before the others come out to micromanage your life some more."
*****
My leg bounces up and down anxiously while in a car with Grayson Spencer of all people. A car that he technically stole from the compound nonetheless. I don't know what this is and I don't know why I even went with him but here I am.
Suddenly his hand is on my thigh squeezing gently, preventing me from bouncing it up and down. "Relax love, you nervous?"
I grab onto my arm in need of a new outlet for my anxiety. "I'm unsure where I'm going at night with you, so yeah."
"Do you trust me?" The pad of his thumb brushes back and forth over my thigh.
"Not really, no."
"Smart girl." Grayson laughs to himself. "It'll be fun I promise."
"Will it?"
He turns to me for a brief moment. "I guess you'll just have to trust me."
About a half hour later we arrive in a parking lot behind what looks like a club. Unbelievable. "You took me to a club." I say in disbelief. "Grayson I can't control myself I can't be around a bunch of humans."
"Will you relax? It's a little bit more than a club."
"What do you mean?"
He smiles at me then gets out of the car refusing any further elaboration. With that same unsettling smile he walks around to open my door. "Come on."
"What is this?" I don't move from my seat.
"Stop asking questions for two minutes." He holds out his hand for me to take, "Trust me, you're going to have fun." A million possibilities of what I could be walking into if I take his hand flash in my mind. "Would it help if I said Victoria is also here?"
"I mean not really." His eyes typically have little to no warmth or reassurance behind them, but right now there's this little spark in them, he's excited. But what's exciting to Grayson?
He drops his hand. "Look, either you come with me and have a good time or you can walk back to the house because I'm not leaving."
Entirely reluctantly I give in. We enter through the back door of the club and Grayson speaks to the bouncer while I try to get my hearing to adjust to the loud music before my ear drums start bleeding. Were clubs always this loud?
Walking past the bouncer, the club floor is set to the right of us. The crowds of sweaty drunk people squished together like sardines in what felt like a large sauna with the heat emanating from it as we walked past. The strobe and multicolored lights are blinding and the vibration from the bass is actually paining me. If the music wasn't already horrible, the what sounds like hundreds of heartbeats is making this completely unbearable. I clamp my mouth shut registering those triple fangs of mine out and about. It's also just come to my attention that I'm wearing sweatpants, a tank top, and a zipped up hoodie; definitely club ready. I cannot think of a worse place to be right now. Thanks Grayson.
All of a sudden Grayson grabs my arm and we make a hard left away from the club floor. He opens a door that clearly says- Restricted Area: Authorized Personnel Only, yet he pulls me through, descending down poorly lit stairs.
We get to the landing and the bouncer standing in front of the curtain blocking whatever's behind it turns to face us. His hardened expression fades at the sight of Grayson, after a quick friendly greeting he moves out of his way letting the both of us in. He clearly knows him then.
Grayson spreads the curtain holding one side open for me to enter this whole other a lot less crowded bar area. My muscles tense- I smell blood and a lot of it so I tighten the leash I have on myself, pressing my lips together because I can't seem to put my fangs away. Aside from that, this was definitely a more tolerable area to be in. The lights were dim and constant- not bright and strobing. The orangey glow created a warm atmosphere- calming in this anxiety filled situation. Over on the left I see the upholstered leather booths. Dead center, the bar itself with its marble top and hardwood siding where the majority of the patrons crowded around. Over on the right was an entrance to a lounge area.
"What is this place?" I mumble holding my hand over my mouth looking to Grayson who has an air of eagerness about him.
"It's a bar. Specifically for our kind." He grins at me, taking hold of my hand and lowering it. "So don't worry about those." His eyes flick down to my lips. "Everyone else here has got a pair."
"You actually got her to agree to come?" Over my shoulder Victoria walks up with a drink in one hand and the other wiping off what I think is blood from the corner of her mouth. Oh what have I walked into?
I relax my lips but I'm still not fine about my fangs being on display. "He kinda forced me to." I say anxiously surveying my surroundings.
"You voluntarily got into the car with me." He points out.
"Ok true." Getting a grasp on myself, relief fills me as I run my tongue over my fang free teeth.
"Still, I'm surprised. I thought you would've freaked." Victoria says taking a sip of her drink.
"What do you mean?" My nervousness spikes.
She narrows her eyes at Grayson. "You didn't tell her?"
"Well... she would've freaked." He says.
"Freaked about what?" I demanded.
"It's a bleeder den." Grayson says.
"What?"
"Like a private bar that pays people to bleed." Victoria explains. I scan the crowd, although I can smell blood it's nowhere to be seen. "This is just the bar area, don't worry." Victoria says noticing my searching.
"But I can't- I'm not." I start.
"You are. You're going to have fun." Grayson says.
"I don't find biting people fun." I say betraying the thoughts that flashed in my mind.
"You're literally a vampire, yeah you do." Victoria states.
"You've just never experienced it because the others are opposed to all things vampire-y because it's wrong." Grayson says mockingly.
"They don't want to kill people and neither do I."
"Who said anything about killing?" Grayson questions. "No one said anything about killing. What you are, is a vampire. What you need and want is blood. Here it is." He motions with his hand to the bar we're in.
"Yeah but-."
"You're on the whole eating solely for survival diet right now and are you having a good time?" He asks already knowing the answer.
I shut my mouth. I'm not having a good time. I do want more. I need more but I'm terrified of losing control. I don't want to kill anyone.
"Exactly." He says at my pointed silence. "Being a vampire is fucking amazing if you make it amazing. You are all vampire, Morgan, do you want to hate everything that you are? Or do you want to love it?"
"I just don't want to lose control." I finally speak.
"Having control and having fun are not mutually exclusive." He says, walking away right after.
"We'll be here- or I'll be here to make sure you don't go too far." Victoria adds downing her drink.
I nod. I don't fully trust Victoria. She's about as comforting as a bed of nails but her words and actions have never felt like they had some ulterior motive behind them. I trust her a hell of a lot more than Grayson so I guess that's all that matters right now.
Grayson talks to some woman over at the entrance of the lounge area. "He knows Warren, the guy who owns the place." Victoria says. Grayson turns to us and waves his hand motioning for us to follow him. "Come." She grabs onto my arm and pulls me with her.
"I'm not too sure about this." Second guessing what I'm doing right now.
"If you absolutely hate it and want to go I'll leave with you. Okay?" She says with as much of a gentle tone as she could possibly have.
"Okay."
Walking through the lounge area I see a couple of other vampires sitting down and feeding on people. I can see the blood sliding down some of the peoples throats and wrists making the scent is infinitely stronger now. The burning and crawling under my skin becomes frantic. Victoria tightens her grip around my arm physically tugging me away from the sight.
We enter a door to a private room the contents of which look more expensive than anything I've ever owned in my life. There's an elegant looking bar on the side of the large room which is stocked exclusively with top shelf bottles. The other side of the room is fit with an expensive looking upholstered leather couch and chairs, a coffee table, and a huge tv. Some space in between the bar and couch which I'm assuming is for dancing. The lights are dimmer but the music is slightly louder from the large speakers hanging behind the bar.
Then I notice the 5 people dressed in all black short sleeve shirts and black pants. They stand next to the door motionless with their hands clasped together either in front of them or behind their back. Crossing the room with Victoria over to the bar where Grayson is already in the process of ordering drinks.
"I got shots to start off." He says as Victoria lets go of my arm.
"Good." Victoria comments. The bartender pours out 6 shots of some high end tequila. Grayson hands me and Victoria two shots each. I wasn't planning on getting drunk tonight but I might need something to take the edge off.
"To a night off for this one." He says. His striking eyes piercing mine, partnered with his less than welcoming smirk.
I look over at Victoria who's donning her normal emotionless expression, with a slight curl to her lips adding to the overall feel of the night: unsettling.
We clink all of our shot glasses together. I take back the two shots quickly in an attempt to lessen the burning but to no avail. Grayson slams his two glasses down then waves his hand at something behind me. Two of the five people near the door walk over to us while Victoria goes to sit down on the couch taking one of the people at the door with her.
Two men approach about my age. One with bright obviously dyed short blonde hair, the other with warm brown hair tied back in a bun. Both much taller than me and both in insanely good shape.
"Which one do you want?" Grayson asks.
"What?" My heart thumps against my ribs and my eyes go to the veins visible in their forearms.
"Which one? I figured you should have options."
"I don't know."
He looks over at the two men, "It's her first time."
They say "oh." And nod with smiles on their face like this is normal. Which I guess it is for them? I don't know.
"Alright blondie it is." he puts his hand on the on the blonde ones shoulder and moves him towards me. "Decision made." He motions with his head for the brunette to go.
I stand still, staring at this man not knowing what to do with myself. Grayson nods in the blonde man's direction wanting me to get on with it.
Meeting the blonde mans dark brown eyes, I wave like an idiot. "I'm Morgan. Hi."
He smiles, shooting me a confused look, "Sam." He responds.
"You like... voluntarily came here right? I know you're getting paid but you-"
Grayson groans rolling his head back dramatically. "Oh my God you're supposed to feed on them not strike up a conversation."
"I'm not just gonna say nothing and bite him. That's rude."
Grayson exhales trying to cover his irritation. "They don't get paid to talk, they get paid to be fed on. You're thinking too much. Don't think, just do."
"So the opposite of what everyone's been telling me to do."
"Yes." He smiles condescendingly.
I turn to face Sam, so I no longer have to see Graysons smug look. I do what Grayson said and stop thinking. Immediately my eyes zone in at Sam's neck. The pulse pumping in his throat, then slowly hearing it, making my mouth water with anticipation as my whole body urges me to take the blood I so desperately want.
I want it.
I guess Grayson had noticed whatever internal battle I have going on so he took Sam's arm holding his wrist up to me. "Start with the wrist it might be easier." I look to him expecting annoyance at my apprehension but instead I see reassurance in his eyes. It was slight but it was there.
I switch my attention to his wrist. The pulse, his heart beating, I can smell the blood flowing just underneath his skin. Just a taste. I've felt like I'm starving for weeks now, this hunger inside of me demanding satisfaction but at every turn being denied. One taste. I feel weak- physically and right now also mentally. Right now any and all morals, all apprehension, anything holding me back seemed stupid. The voices in my head telling me "no." were overpowered by the ones telling me "yes."
With a pinch in my gums my fangs elongate in my mouth. The hunger pains somehow intensify while my heart thunders in my chest. As I bring his wrist closer, anticipation builds within me like a wild animal clawing to be let out of its lifelong cage.
Finally I sink my fangs into the delicate skin of Sam's wrist and as the warm blood pours into my mouth, all at once the fire ravaging my body extinguishes leaving behind a comforting subtle warmth. Like a warm blanket in the dead of winter.
Obviously I was nervous about doing this. My mind was going a mile a minute prior to this but now? It's completely silent. For the first time in my entire life, my mind is silent. And not in a- I've detached myself from reality so I'm zoning out, type way- just peace and calm. I'm relaxed yet absolutely exhilarated. My body feels like a walking oxymoron but I love it. I've had blood before from a bag but this is like I'm having it for the first time. It's so different. Better. Infinitely better.
I close my eyes taking in this moment of silence and the ever increasing level of unfathomable satisfaction for I don't know how long until I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders pull me back.
What the fuck?
I don't know why I got so pissed off so quick but I did. I wasn't done. I look up at the person preventing me from continuing, locking eyes with Grayson. I must look pissed because he removed his hands from my shoulder and held them up in defense. "Sorry love, thought we should probably start slow." His voice slices through my minds quiet.
I exhaled heavily trying to catch my breath. Unfazed, Sam's already patching up his wrist and Grayson takes four hundred dollar bills out of his pocket, handing it to him as I think a tip. He looks to me anticipating my review, "Well?"
I should be disgusted with myself.
I should walk out of this place right now.
I should hate this.
I should do a lot of things. Instead a huge smile forms on my face.
The corner of Graysons lips pull up in reaction. It's small but it's probably the first genuine half smile I've seen from him. "I'm gonna take that as you had fun." He says.
I stay silent with a smile and a hardly noticeable nod. I'm kind of embarrassed to say that I liked- loved that.
Grayson looks behind me at the bartender. "Two more." He says holding up two fingers.
*****
Grayson Spencer
"I shouldn't like this as much as I do." She says shaking her head. Her excitation seems to have been overtook by some light self loathing over betraying her faux human instincts.
"No you absolutely should." The bartender slides the two shots over. I grab them handing one to an emotionally conflicted Morgan.
"No, no I-"
"Morgan, you've had the fact that you're a vampire hidden from you for 20 years. You just told me that you spent those years thinking there was something wrong with you when really you were being forced to be something you're not. And you still are. You're still denying yourself what you want and need because you have the others telling you it's wrong and it's not." There's a thaw in her panic and self hatred. "Tell me. Did that feel wrong?"
"No." She looks down at the floor.
I bring my hand to the delicate soft skin of her chin, lifting her head to look at me. "Give me one night. For one night just be a vampire. Let it all out. Whatever you want... take it." I remove my hand slowly as Morgan's radiant hazel eyes dance back and forth between mine drenched with uncertainty but also a new fire I haven't seen before in them. A beautiful small flame I only want to tend to and feed so it burns brighter and bigger. "Stop thinking. What do you want right now?"
"I want more."
I smile. There she is. This part of her that's been begging to come out and now that it's reared it's head, I can't see her ever wanting to shove it back down again. "Then take it. This is your night and you got 20 years to catch up on. Go wild."
She nods at me. Her small smile beams but she's still anxious. I raise my glass to her, clinking glasses we both take back our shots. Her nose crinkles as her lips form a frown and I can't help but lightly laugh at her reaction. I take the shot glass from her, placing them both down on the bar then call over another bleeder. Morgan's eyes blaze with excitement and hunger as the girl walks up with an excitement of her own knowing she's about to be tipped a couple hundred.
It's easy to see which bleeders are here because they solely like money and those that like money and have some kinks- so they're getting paid and getting off. This girl only likes money. I saw her face light up when I handed the other guy four hundred. I don't know how they find these people but thankfully they do.
I turn to Morgan whose stare is already cemented on the girls throat. "Why don't you try the throat this time." I say. Morgan nods awkwardly smiling as she gently takes hold of the girl. She's still battling herself- the "human" in her vs who she truly is. "You're okay. I got you." I say. She swallows nervously before letting her instincts take over.
Her eyes turn. The whites of her eyes slowly engulfed by black- then her irises, the warm hazel color replaced by a deep wicked crimson.
I don't know why watching her physical appearance shift was so entrancing to me. I can't look away. It's not just her physical appearance, it's her demeanor as well. Her whole delicate meek facade, quickly swapped out by this powerful imposing being. If there was an audience she'd command the attention of every single person by simply just existing.
She sinks her fangs into the girls throat and the soft moan that comes from her forces my lips to tug into a smile. She loves this. She's finally getting to be a vampire without interference from the others. Telling her it's wrong, limiting her, starving her. She's had enough of all of that to last a lifetime. They should be teaching her this. How to love being what she is. How to have fun with it. It's like they want her to spend actual eternity being disgusted by what she is.
I'm still staring.
Fuck, how long have I been staring?
I zone back in and listen to the girls heartbeat it's still there. Thank God. But it is definitely starting to slow. "Morgan."
No response.
I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, Morgan." She pulls her shoulder away from my hand. I grab onto her shoulders and yank her off, putting myself in between her and the girl. "Enough." She grunts in anger staring through me and actually tries to push me away.
Shit, she's strong. She's not even fully transitioned yet but damn.
"Morgan!" Blood drops from her chin. Her eyes carry on black and red with her fangs bared. Still locked in on the girl's neck with hunger raging in her eyes. God, she's beautiful- what the fuck?
I take my hands off of her shoulders and hold onto the sides of her face forcing her to look at me. "Morgan. Breathe." I say as she finally makes eye contact with me. "Breathe." She starts breathing shakily at first but it becomes clear and slow as her eyes return to the light hazel and her fangs retract.
I move my hands back to her shoulders and she exhales heavily, "oh my god." She whispers looking over at the girl already with the bandage on her neck. She's going to start freaking out.
I place my hands back onto her cheeks, pulling her attention away from the girl once more. "Hey, she's fine. You're fine. Everything's fine." I let go and turn quickly to hand the girl- I think it was five or six hundreds I don't know and I don't care. "See, she has money now. We're all happy."
"That's what I didn't want. I didn't want to lose control." She says starting to get upset. I reach behind her to grab some napkins off the bar.
I begin wiping away the blood around her mouth and chin. "There's a learning curve. That was simply you being new at this." I wipe off whatever remained from her bottom lip. "It's completely normal."
"I wasn't gonna stop."
"But you did." I toss the bloodied napkins onto the bar.
"No, you stopped me. I didn't do anything."
"Don't shut down on me." I hold her gaze. "This isn't something you're used to, you've been having cold, shitty blood bags. Blood bags and blood straight from a person are very different as you've just figured out. You'll get used to it. You'll learn restraint."
She gives me a small nod, understanding. "I don't want something like that to happen again."
"It won't. This is going to be a fun night for you. I won't let you get carried away and do something you wouldn't wanna do."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise." She pauses for a second, her eyes dart between mine trying to figure out if I'm being sincere or not. "I promise." I say once more.
"I'm trusting you." She says with hesitation in her voice. "Can I do that?"
"For tonight? Yes."
"Ok. I'm gonna drink a little bit for now. Cool down." She says pulling out a barstool and sitting down on it. I step back to give her space while she orders a vodka soda from the bartender and head over to Victoria sitting on the couch.
Victoria finishes feeding from the wrist of one of the bleeders, looking to me with that expression of an intense loathing I commonly see on her. "I'm surprised you stopped her, I thought I'd have to get up."
"I want her to have a fun night. Can't do that if she's too busy losing it over a kill." I say sitting down on one of the upholstered chairs.
"Careful Grayson it sounds like you care."
I roll my eyes. "I'm caring to spite the others. She's had this all suppressed for 20 years. She finally finds out about all of it and the fuckers want her to continue shoving it all down."
"I know." Victoria reaches for her drink on the end table next to her chair. "I texted Chloe that we had her." She jerks her chin towards Morgan. "She's freaking the fuck out so I hope you have your defense prepared for when we get back."
"You mean our defense."
"No. They wouldn't dare drag me into it. You though?" She chuckles as she sips her drink.
"I can handle them."
While Victoria calls over another bleeder for herself, I find myself looking over at Morgan at the bar- her side profile facing me. She has absolutely no idea how powerful she is. Her full lips meet the rim of the glass and her eyes keep wandering over to the remaining bleeders near the door. She loves this too much to storm out of here which I'm sure whatever "human" in her is trying to tell her to do. She needs to ignore that and just be a vampire because when she is it's magnificent. Her eyes light up in a way I've never seen before and the way she smiles- it's infectious, she's amazing. Just looking at her right now I feel charged beyond belief. I'm excited for her, I'm... I don't know- happy that she's happy.
I just want her to have one good night for all the bad ones she's had lately.
*****
Morgan Sinclair
I've never in my life felt powerful and yet from this one night I feel on top of the world. My fangs continually break skin making my heart relentlessly pound as fresh warm blood pours into my mouth. The pure unadulterated power that floods my veins is... using the word euphoric seems like a severe understatement.
After that brief intermission of questioning my life choices and many, many drinks I pulled myself together. Grayson was right feeding from a person is so much different than blood bags and I needed to adjust myself to it- the first thing in my life I've been thrilled to adjust to.
Victoria had left the room to go into the general bar and lounge area. Grayson got some more people to come in and honestly I've lost count of how many I've fed off of. He had to help pull me off a couple of others before this but I'm getting pretty good at consciously pulling away. It's only been a couple of hours and I already feel much better in terms of restraint. Far from perfect but decent.
I want to have a fun night and for once I am. For once I feel normal even though this night is far from what I would ever consider to be normal.
"You having fun?" I hear Graysons voice behind me. I open my eyes and pull back from this man's throat. Turning to face Gray, I take some deep breaths coming down from this high. He takes a step towards me cautiously smiling. "Are you okay?"
"More than okay. I think I'm kind of getting the hang of it."
"Almost." He says as his thumb comes up to my lip and wipes across it, removing the excess blood. His eyes fixed on my lips as he does so. "There. All good." He subtly sucks the remaining blood off of his thumb.
I catch myself staring at his lips, imagining what they'd feel like on my own and other parts of my body right now. "We're not leaving right?" I ask panicked, hearing myself slightly slurring.
He smiles. "Wow, look at you not wanting to leave."
"We're not right?" Is is bad that I don't want to go back? I don't want to go back to half a blood bag and starving. Feeling weak and living with suffocating restraints on my every action. Here, I feel strong, powerful, in a constant state of ecstasy and I never want it to end.
"No it's only." He says laughing, he looks at his watch quickly, "3:17. We have a little more time."
"Okay good." I say now no longer panicking. I did not think at the start of this night that I'd end up not wanting it to end. "Are you having fun?" I ask him.
"Always." He says, examining my face like he always does and I feel my face heat up.
"You're not drinking or feeding on anyone though." I stumble a bit. Yeah I'm drunk, I'm stumbling over nothing.
He grabs onto my arm keeping me center and still. "No more strait-laced Morgan huh?" He jokes lowering his arm back down to his side.
"Please, I was never strait-laced. I mean you know that better than anyone." I say taking a step forward.
He narrows his eyes. "For my standards you were a saint."
I lift my arms resting them on his shoulders, moving even closer to him. "Okay well, tonight I'm not a saint. You said tonight... be a vampire."
He rests his hands on my hips. Feeling the warmth of them setting every nerve in the area on fire. "I did." I catch his eyes flickering between my eyes and my lips while I do the same thing.
"You also said whatever I want... take it." I say as my stare halts on his lips.
"What is it that you want then?" His lips curl making my heart flutter.
I know two things in this moment. One: Grayson Spencer is sexy, and two: I want him.
Taking the sides of his face in my hands, I stand on my toes and lean forward meeting his warm soft lips. The gentle kiss quickly turns feverish and hungry. I feel his hand slide up, taking hold of the back of my neck while the other on the low of my back pulls me in closer. Our lips and our bodies flush against each other. A low moan escapes me as his tongue traces my bottom lip, sliding past. Consumed by his taste, his touch, his everything. I didn't think my state of euphoria could increase anymore.
We make our way over to the couch and I shove him down onto it. I straddle him and my hands return to the sides of his face as his hands go straight to my ass. Taking my lips off of his to press them against his cheek, his jaw; with each kiss his breath turns heavier as I make my way down to his neck. As I kiss his neck I smile for a moment hearing and feeling the vibration of a hushed growl from him. I begin to roll my hips against the bulge in his jeans, grinding myself against him and he tightens his grip on my ass pulling me closer, down onto him. Fuck, I want him. I'm literally aching for him, desperately needing release.
I reach down for his belt, beginning to undo it. "Wait." He exhales deeply. "Wait." He grabs onto the sides of my face pulling me back. Our foreheads touching each other, both of us panting into the shared air. "Wait."
"What?" I pant opening my eyes to meet his.
"I don't think we should do this right now." He says.
"What?" I say unable to hide my visible shock and disappointment.
"You're incredibly drunk."
"So are you."
"I'm drunk but I'm coherent enough to know this shouldn't go any further. Not tonight. Besides we have people present." He nods his head over to the bleeders standing over by the wall.
"Oh my God." I stand up feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I take a few steps back from him. "I'm sorry."
I need a cold shower then I need to go lie down on a busy highway.
He stands up as well, adjusting himself. "Don't be. I've said that I intend to finish what we started and I will but..." He steps to me taking my waist in his warm hands with a reassuring half smile and just like that he yanks me right back into moments ago when it felt like it was just me and him. "When I have you, I want to do things to you that will require more than a tiny couch." His gravelly voice like music to my ears, and I clench my jaw now mentally grasping for even an inch of the reins on myself that I've completely let go of tonight. I'm trying desperately to shut down the urge to demand everyone else to leave the room and we'll make the couch work. And the bar. And the walls. It's a little hard when all I can focus on is his hands on my waist and where else I'd like his hands to be. "Besides, I promised you I wouldn't let you do anything you wouldn't want to do. And I can't imagine you doing this with me sober." His eyes drag all over my face.
I manage to pull gaze away from his lips to his eyes. "You don't know me that well."
"When you're good and sober. Prove me wrong." He says holding out his hand. "Come on. We have a little under 2 hours before we should head back to the house." I try to hold back my excited smile but I can't. I grab onto his hand and follow him.