jay put on his shoes and looked at himself in the mirror.
something happened with him and he suddenly wanted to look good whenever he was going out. and it obviously wasn't because of heeseung.
"i'm leaving first!" he shouted and opened the door. he was supposed to meet with heeseung and he didn't want his sister to interrupt them.
"wait for me!" eunseong rushed out of her room and ran to jongseong.
"go by yourself" jay said and ran out of the house, eunseong following him.
"what's with you?" she quickly ran to jay and grabbed his bad, pushing him backwards "you've been going earlier to school without me for last few days. you hurt my feelings."
"i didn't know you needed my accompany that much."
"are you planning something behind my back? what is it? do you smoke or drink?"
"i won't tell you so don't bother" he took eunseong's hand from his bag and started walking to school.
pink-haired girl rolled her eyes and followed jay, deciding to not ask him any more questions.
everything felt so much better for jay now. he finally felt happy, he was able to enjoy the summer and even going to school made him feel relaxed. he stopped worrying for the first time in few months. and all because heeseung is now jay's boyfriend.
"jay!" heeseung hugged him, running his hand through his hair "are you feeling okay?"
jay nodded, smiling happily "what about you? you have extra study today, right?"
"i do" heeseung pouted in dissapointment. jay laughed and patted him on the head "i really don't want to go. should we go somewhere together after school?"
"will it be okay though? you're in your senior year."
"i have good grades anyway."
"right" jay rolled his eyes "i forgot you're the smart kid."
heeseung giggled "where should we go?"
"not sure. any ideas?"
"if you don't have any we can go to my house."
so straightforward jay thought. at least for him.
"your house? why?"
"my grandparents are going to meet some of their friends today, so i have the whole house for myself. we can spend some time there, don't you want to."
"let's go there, then" jay smiled gently. it will be his first time in his boyfriend's house.
~🦌~
"relax yourself. i will get something to eat and drink for us."
jay was inside heeseung's house, more specifically in heeseung's room. it was nice, cosy and spacious. he had a big bed, the walls were all grey except for the one that was green. and he had a whole shelf full of lego sets.
jay shyly sat on heeseung's bed, taking a look around the room.
apart from the relationship between heeseung and his grandparents, his quality of life was good. he lived in a big house with good amenities, learned well and even owned his own car. if jay didn’t know how his grandparents treated him, he probably would have been jealous of him.
heeseung went back into the room with nuts, fruits and cups of tea. ever since heeseung found out about jay’s illness, he’s done everything he can to make him feel better. he made sure his head didn’t hurt. he knew jay’s headache couldn’t stop, but he kept trying new methods. he read on the internet that nuts, fruit and little tea help, so he fed that jay at school. it didn’t help jay, but he was glad to know heeseung took such care of him.
heeseung sat next to jay and gave him a piece of an apple "is it good?"
jay took a piece and nodded "you know you don't have to feed me, right?"
"it's my responsibility."
"stop it" he laughed "you know it doesn't even help, right?"
"i know" heeseung sighed "but it still feels good to pretend like it does."
heeseung looked sad. everytime they talked about it he looked sad. jay felt bad because of it.
"you eat too" jongseong took another piece of an apple and gave it to heeseung.
"thank you" he smiled, making his eyes dissapear.
they sat in the room and enjoyed their company. there was a silence between them for a long time, but none that would disturb them. sometimes heeseung looked into the phone and checked twitter, and jay peeked at him.
heeseung wore a short-sleeved t-shirt, so all the scars were visible. jay’s thought about it a lot. what if heeseung does something to himself? but he quickly erased such thoughts from his mind. he told him that he stopped hurting himself.
"you're staring again" heeseung said, looking at his phone. jay blushed and took his eyes out of heeseung's arms.
heeseung put his cell phone on the shelf next to the bed and looked at jay, who stared at the door. the taller boy chuckled and sat closer to jay.
"sorry for staring" jay mumbled shyly.
"it's okay, i don't mind" he rubbed jongseong's back and smiled "what are you curious about, huh?"
"do you walk around showing your arms to your grandparents?" he asked, this time he looked at heeseung.
heeseung looked at the wall as he was looking for the answer "sometimes i do. they don't say anything, but the first time they saw me like that they said that i probably did it to get their attention, so i rather not walk like that when they're home.
jay looked at him sadly. he took his hand and squished it gently.
"it made me insecure of them though" he said about the scars "it's not like i still care, but there was a time when i regretted doing it and it was only because they thought i did it for their attention."
"i'm so sorry, heeseung."
jay hugged him over his shoulder and heeseung laughed. he kissed him on the cheek and giggled. jay was cute.
"just don't listen to them" jay continued "it's not like they know what they're saying. i think your scars are beautiful. they very pretty so don't mind your grandparents' opinion."
"i told you i don't care anymore, but thank you."
heeseung gave jay a quick peck on the lips. jay widened his eyes as he was surprised. the tall boy just laughed and processed giving jay another kiss. this time it was longer and deeper. jay kissed him back, hugging him over his shoulder with another hand. heeseung leaned in, deepening the kiss and making jay lay on the bed.
heeseung put his hand in jay’s hair, holding the other hand on the bed next to jay's body so as not to accidentally fall on him. it didn’t look like they were going to stop anytime soon. their kiss got deeper and longer.
every time they kissed, jay thought of how soft heeseung's lips were. they were as soft and sweet as cotton candy or maybe even better.
not to mention how of a good kisser heeseung was. jay was actually scared that he might not be as good as the tall boy since he never kissed before, but heeseung didn't seem to care.
they were ready to change positions when they suddenly heard noise from the floor below.
voices of a woman and a man.
heeseung sighed, knowing who it was. he gave jay a look as he was apologising and got up.
"who is it?" jay asked.
"my grandparents. they must've came back earlier" heeseung looked quite angry. it was seen on his face that he wasn't pleased with his grandparents coming back "i'll go talk to them."
heeseung grabbed a hoodie that was laying on a chair and rushed out of the room, leaving jay alone.
after few minutes, heeseung came back. jay didn't hear much of their talk.
"they're in the garden. if you want to leave, you can go from the entrance. they won't see you."
jay nodded and got up, ready to leave.
"i'm sorry. my grandparents don't like when my friends come around. it's better for you to not be seen by them-"
"it's okay" jay smiled, calming heeseung down. he quickly left the room with heeseung and left the house, waving goodbye to the tall boy.
jay didn't complain. he spend some nice time with heeseung.
~🦌~
jay entered his home. it was very quiet. eunseong was probably with friends and his mother was still working.
he always wondered when it will be a time when his mother comes home at normal hours and when she will be able to spend some time with them. ever since their father died they didn't have any chance of even going on a walk together.
jay sat on a sofa and sighed. he felt tired. the only thing he wanted to do now is fall asleep on his bed. his body felt stiff too.
he wanted to get up to go to his room, until he realised. his body was stiff. he couldn't move.
jay panicked. nothing like that ever happened to him. his legs started shaking gently and he suddenly forgot where he was. was it his room already? or heeseung's house. everything was suddenly getting blurry and he felt like throwing up.
his limbs started shaking to the point that he fell off the sofa. he hit his head on the floor.
it was a few second before the shaking stopped. he could control his body again. in shock, he ran to the bathroom to throw up.
it suddenly hit him what happened.