6 days, 33 weeks.
"I apologize but if you were planning on getting the epidural, you are too far along to have it. You're at 9cm, you will be needing to push at any minute now." Dr. Murphy says, fixing her gloves.
Oaklee looks at me with fear evident in her eyes. My mind goes completely blank. I'm not sure what to say, what to do, how to think.
All I can do, is hold her hand and push back hair from her sweaty forehead. I'm really rethinking the big family thing.
I have Giovanni and Jay outside the door just in case. The mission with the American mafia was successful but I don't want to risk it.
"Okay, it's time." Dr. Murphy sings with a smile on her face as she situates herself in between Oaklee's knees.
"On the count of three?" She says, looking up at Oaklee.
Oaklee nods, tightening her grip on my hand as I place my forehead against her temple. I want to take away her pain.
"1."
"2."
"3."
Oaklee's face scrunches in pain as her jaw clamps shut to prevent screaming. Tears escape her screwed shut eyes.
"You're doing amazing, baby." I whisper.
"Stop, take a breather." Dr. Murphy says, glancing up.
Oaklee's head falls back against the pillow. I kiss her clammy hands and I think this is the first time I've felt her hands warm.
"You ready?"
She nods, preparing herself once more.
" 1"
"2"
"3"
She tucks her chin and pushes once more, groaning. My hand holds the back of her neck, pushing slightly so she could relax her neck a little. She knows I'm here for her without me having to talk, she prefers it that way.
"Okay, you're doing good."
Oaklee nods once more. A sob ripples through her body as she lays her head on mine. I can feel her sweat but I don't mind.
"Leo, it hurts." She whimpers.
"I know, baby. You are so amazing, Oaklee." I say, kissing her shoulder.
Her chest heaving up and down as she pants. I want this to go quicker, I need this to go quicker. Seeing her in pain makes my skin feel like needles are poking me throughout my body.
"Okay, only a couple more times."
"1"
"2"
"3"
"Ow, ow! Something isn't right!"
For the first time, she screamed, she tries to pushes away from Dr. Murphy, inching back into the bed.
"Oaklee, I know it hurts but you can't stop pushing."
I can barely hear her talk. I feel like I'm underwater and all I can focus is on Oaklee's pain.
She wouldn't have screamed like that, not if there was something wrong.
The nurses in the room move to Oaklee but one warning glare from me had them backing away. They don't need to touch her, she doesn't like being touched by strangers.
"Relax."
Oaklee's body is tense with pain but she tries to relax as best she can.
"Okay, I see minor stretching but that's normal." Dr. Murphy reassures but Oaklee shakes her head.
"No, no. I can feel it." She mumbles. Her body is already tired.
"I can't see anything that isn't normal, Oaklee." Dr. Murphy tries but she shakes her head once again.
"Let's try again."
"1"
"2"
"3"
Oaklee's heart wrenching scream basically rattles my body. I've never been so scared than I am right now.
"I can't- I can't do this." She almost screams.
"Is there any way she can take a break?" I ask, standing up so she can see me better or maybe I'm trying to intimidate her, I'm not sure yet.
"No, I can see the head. If she stops now, there's no telling what her body would do." Dr. Murphy replies.
I sit down, grabbing her hand. "You hear that, she can see the head. You're almost done." I choose my words carefully, knowing full well that if I used 'we', she'd be pissed.
"1"
"2"
"3"
She yells, her face is red, so red it resembles a tomato. A vein probes her forehead, you would only see it if she was mad or screaming.
Her head falls back as she takes a deep breath. Her eyes flutter shut from exhaustion.
"One more big push."
"Listen, you can do this. It will be all over soon." I encourage, kissing her hand and temple.
"1"
"2"
"3"
Her body tenses as her nails dig into my skin, her jaw clenches so hard, I'm afraid that her teeth will shatter.
She screams once more before it's silent, the cries of a baby fill the room. Things move so quickly as a nurse unbuttons the top of Oaklee's gown as our baby lays on her bare chest, crying.
I stare at the baby on her chest, red and yellow skin with nasty, white goopy stuff on him, his red mouth open as he screams.
Even though you can barely see him, I do see that way he looks exactly like Oaklee. He has her pouty lips, her cheekbones, her nose.
I look at Oaklee as she already stares at me with tears falling down her face. She smiles at me and I smile back at her.
But it falls when her head sways and she falls limp on the bed. Her hand that was on top of him, fell limp by her side.
My head snaps up as somebody takes our son off of her chest, people are shouting and moving around the room, somebody pulls a tray of utensils beside Dr. Murphy.
"Bleeding...Hemorrhaging... Too much..."
Their voices fall in and out. I have to pinch myself to come back.
"Her body is going into shock!" Someone yells.
"What's happening? Why is she doing this?" I yell above them, it was like they forgot I was here because a group of nurses try to push me out of the room.
"Sir, you have to leave. You can't-"
They freeze at the sound of the heart monitor flatlining. Before, they pull a defibrillator out.
"Clear!"
Her body jolts but no heartbeat.
"Clear!"
No heartbeat.
"Clear!"
No heartbeat.
They freeze once more.
"Sir, you need to leave!" They say, pushing me again.
"No! Let me hold her! Please! Let me!" I yell, pushing against them.
Giovanni and Jay rush into the room after hearing my screams. They freeze seeing Oaklee's still body. My eyes don't leave her.
"Sir, we will call security if you don't leave!" One yells as the other move to shock her again.
"I just want to hold her, let me!" I yell.
They snap out of the trance they were in, grabbing my arms and pulling me out of the room.
"No! Jay, that's my wife!" I yell at him, shoving him off of me but by the time I managed to do so, we were out of the room.
"It's okay, Leonadas." Jay says.
"No, it's not! That's my wife, my wife has no heartbeat in there! My son's in there!" I yell, tears, I now notice, fall down my face.
They stare, not knowing what to do. There can't do anything to make this better.
I slide down the wall as my knees began to buckle. I don't pray but if praying means I get Oaklee's heart to beat, I'll do it.
I'll do anything for this not to be happening. She's going to wake up, even if it means I go in there myself and help her.
"Get Ezra, tell him to bring Sin." I order.
"Don, I don't think that a good idea." Giovanni says. It's one of the good things about him, he knows my 'Don' voice and he knows my 'Oaklee' voice.
"I want Sin."
It's one of the things she loves and I need him to keep my stable so when she wakes, I'll be okay.
But I don't say that.
"Yes Don."
"Hey, how is she?" Ezra asks, handing me Sin.
"They haven't came out yet." I mumble numbly. I haven't moved, I'm still sitting on the wall, my legs bent in front of me.
Sin looks around, startled by the new environment. His bottom lip pops out as his eyes water. "Mama." He cries, his arms reached as he does when he wants Oaklee because he knows she'll come for him.
But she won't, not this time.
"Mama will come soon." My voice cracks as I tell him. He still cries for his 'Mama' and I can't do anything but hold him against my chest as he cries, my own eyes watering. I don't want to believe this is happening, it was heaven moments ago.
He fights against my grip but I don't want to let him go, I can't let him go.
I'm seriously rethinking about having a big family.