Today (13/07/2022) marked the day I've been waiting for.
Unfortunately it's not good news.
I just found out that I failed my exam, one that I've been preparing for for a very long time, and one that if I didn't pass would make a mess of all my future plans by months. Honestly, it's so devastating to the point that I can't feel anything anymore. I don't know how to feel. I'm literally numb.
Maybe it's too big of a shock? And in just a few more moment the disappointment wound crush me, overwhelm me, and most possibly drown me in what I never want to go through ever again.
Or maybe right now is as what they said,
When you have no expectation, you won't ever get disappointed.
Maybe I always knew this was coming. That one day my luck would just ran out and there'll be no more smooth ride.
Because yes, it began with quiet a mess, then all is well hunky dory even too good with little to no problem, and now here we are. When I actually put efforts. Life a challenge, I guess.
Well, there's no other choice, I just have to try again 'til I made it.
Everything is going to be just fine. Just a little delayed, but it's not too bad. Maybe more time would be good for me. Maybe it's what I need.