Back in the barracks, my family was waiting for me along with Rivka and two other women. One was the mother who had her two kids taken away. The second appeared around Shira’s age. They were all just talking.
My sisters and mother relaxed a bit when they saw me return. They had probably thought I might not come back when I had been called for. I didn’t blame them for thinking that.
Rivka observed us, she just seemed curious.
“What did they want, Eli?” my mother asked when I sat next to her on one of the hard bunks.
“They were questioning me about why the dog ran to me.” I made up quickly. I could only hope it sounded real and convincing. “They thought I had hidden food or called it.”
“What did they do?” Rivka asked.
“Searched me but that was pretty much it.” I replied.
“Why do you think the dog jumped you?” mama looked at me.
“I think it’s because I stared at it too long.” I pretended to guess. I couldn’t come up with much better.
“That would make sense, that can look challenging to a dog.” The mother nodded. “My name is Neta by the way.”
Neta had shoulder length blonde hair and dark brown eyes. She was as tall as Tziporah but appeared a bit more underweight.
“I suggest we all get some sleep, tomorrow will be a long day.” Rivka said.
“Wait, Rivka.” I stopped her from leaving us. “What do they mean by ‘let work set you free’?”
“If you work hard enough, you will die and be free from this horrible place.” She replied bitterly. “That’s my take on it any ways.”
She was pretty blunt and honest. I appreciated that. She didn’t try to make it seem better, or censor things from Shira. She was realistic which had probably helped keep her alive so long.
I climbed up to my top bunk and tried my best to fall asleep on the stiff and uncomfortable hay. My clothes protected me from being scratched but it didn’t seem like much help.
---
We woke up to the sound of a sharp whistle. It was early, much too early and I wanted more sleep. That wasn’t an option though; I hadn’t even been here long enough to consider it.
“Get up, now!” an officer yelled into our barracks.
People stirred, getting up as quickly as they could. Some struggled a lot more then others. Only a few people offered them any assistance. The majority ran outside. For the most part, the strong left the weak behind as Rivka had said.
“Eliana, Tziporah, wake up.” My mother called up to us.
I carefully climbed down just as Tziporah got up. Shira stood next to mama, clutching her hand tightly with fear in her eyes.
We all hurried outside as the others had done. We had to stand in lines for role call.
It was a painfully long process. We stood perfectly still in lines while officers came around and checked our tattoos. Every prisoner stayed silent the entire time. There was no talking and no moving.
No one dared to break the rules.
I wondered if they even cared if we were all present. They clearly didn’t care about our health, so why did they bother acting like our lives meant something to them.
After nearly two hours, we had to get in another line for our breakfast.
The new people, like my sisters, mama and I, had to go to a separate line to get our food bowls.
This line was much faster because there were less of us. They gave us our first meal as well. Two officers ran this line, Felix and another man.
When it was my turn, Felix took my arm and wrote something down on a notepad. He handed me a brown wooden bowl.
I noticed he had carved a small heart on the inside of my bowl; I smiled slightly, feeling the carving.
Looking up at him, I saw the ghost of a smile in his eyes that he couldn’t dare show now. He looked tired but his green eyes still sparkled from the sunrise.
He poured some pale colored soup into my bowl, handed me some rough bread and a small cup of water.
I nodded to silently say thank you and went back into our barrack as I had seen the other women do.
Mama, Shira, Tziporah, Rivka, Neta and I all ate together. We were fairly quiet as we ate.
Briefly, I wondered why Rivka sat with us. She wasn’t new and we probably seemed stupid and naïve to her. But I didn’t want to question her, I wasn’t sure how kindly she’d take to that.
The food could’ve been worse and the way I saw Rivka eat made me see how much we all needed to eat what we were given.
The soup was just some kind of light broth; it smelled rancid but didn’t taste horrible. The bread was very rough and hard made with large whole grains. It tasted as if there was dirt in it.
Ten minutes later, they shouted that it was time to go to work. I now understood why people scarfed down their food as quickly as they could. It was hardly enough time to finish.
I placed the remainder of my bread in my pants pocket. We all placed our bowls on our bunks whether we had finished eating the soup or not.
Some, like me, placed food in their pockets, others left it in their bowls. People who had been here longer, like Rivka, had no leftovers.
“Move it, rat!” an officer yelled at me when I tried to take another drink of water before we left. I was one of the last few women in the barracks.
“I’m s-“ I started to apologize. Then I felt a stinging in my cheek and I realized what had just happened.
This man had slapped me.
“Did I ask you to speak, bitch?” he pushed me towards the door. “Here, you do not get to speak when you want.”
I walked quickly when he shoved me once again. I didn’t need trouble this early in the morning. Not listening and following this man’s orders could get me a lot worse then a bruised cheek.
Tears welled in my eyes from the fear of this officer.
My mother and Tziporah gasped when they saw, what I assumed, was my swollen cheek with a handprint. Shira stared at me.
“Wha-?” Shira started.
“Shh.” I shook my head, not wanting her to get in trouble.
The audacity of that man shocked and repulsed me. He had hit a woman. That would not be tolerated in town square, it would cause a huge commotion. I guessed he didn’t even have to think twice about it. It was his job, and probably a large part of who he was.
I doubted he’d hit his own family or loved ones just as Felix most likely wouldn’t hit me. It was different with someone you cared for.
Here, they didn’t care; we no longer counted as people. We have been reclassified as lower life forms.
It was as if we were mosquitos. They were annoying and a pain in the neck to deal with. No one would think twice about killing a mosquito that had just tried to bite them.
We walked out of the barracks area and into a separate fenced off area that seemed to just contain mountains of dirt.
Felix met my eyes as he ushered people into this new area where we would be working. His eyes landed on my cheek and his jaw clenched. His hands were balled up into fists at his sides.
His eyes appeared darker to me and they blazed in rage. I knew it was directed towards whoever hit me.
He cocked his head towards an officer on the other side of the fence, silently asking if he had been the one who did it.
I shook my head slightly, the man was behind me and I really didn’t want him to notice my communication with Felix.
“Something wrong, Mencken?” the man asked Felix as I went through the entrance.
“Why are you so chipper?” I heard Felix ask, avoiding the question.
“I just love putting these new Heebs in their place.”
I shuddered slightly and heard the officer laugh. He thoroughly enjoyed hurting the new prisoners. Did that make him a bad person?
I thought of Baba as I was given a shovel and told what to do.
She would’ve told me that it didn’t make him a bad person but he wasn’t good either. She firmly believed that a person could not be completely good or bad.
My thoughts drifted a bit more. Was she still alive, or was she in one of the large dark clouds of smoke released from what I had heard Rivka call ‘the ovens’? Had she died quickly and peacefully, or had she suffered for a long time?
I longed for the necklace she had given me. I wanted a piece of her to hold on to because quite frankly, her possible remains floating in the air were not at all good enough.
Would Giselle return it as she had said? I wouldn’t be too surprised if she kept it or tried to sell it in town for some quick cash. I just hoped she was better then that.
Everyone started digging in silence. We had to shovel dirt from one hill and bring it to the ‘waste dirt’ hill. Some of the dirt was loose which made it much easier to fall and slide down the hill.
I was carrying my second shovelful of dirt to the waste pile when we heard people walking past our area. It was a group of male prisoners and their own guards.
Scanning the crowd, I tried to find my family. Maybe they were with this group. The men were looking for women they knew as well.
I spotted David, my uncle and my father silently looking for us. I wanted to call to them but I knew better. Where was Levi?
David saw me and met my eyes. His held sadness, fear and grief. What had he been through after witnessing his mother’s death?
Levi? I mouthed to him, hoping he knew what I was asking.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. I instantly knew what he was saying.
Levi was killed. Most likely because he was younger and not as strong as the officers had wanted. He could’ve been classified as unfit for work.
I choked back a sob for Levi. He was so young and innocent. He didn’t deserve such an early death. He had hardly gotten a chance to live properly.
I prayed he was with Aunt Tovah and Baba in heaven. He needed to be up with them. I didn’t want to imagine him, alone, lost and wandering through heaven.
In a way, maybe it was better that they had died despite how awful it was. They wouldn’t go through the suffering and strain of this camp. They wouldn’t work to death. They wouldn’t have to watch the rest of their families die. They got to go to heaven with god and be safe.
“Keep working, Judes!” one officer yelled at us.
A man from the group suddenly sprinted to the fence frantically. He had light brown hair and a long beard. He wore a white t shirt and stripped trousers. I couldn’t make out any of his facial features.
He whipped his head around, looking for his loved one.
“Abby!” he called out.
Everyone stared at him. We all knew he would be punished.
A woman next to me gasped, I assumed she was Abby because she called back to him. She had short auburn hair, her eyes were a dark green. She appeared close to Tziporah’s age.
“Noah!”
An officer grabbed the man, Noah and pulled him away. I was surprised he wasn’t shot like Aunt Tovah. The men kept walking, getting further away until we couldn’t see them.
“Noah!” she yelled again in fear. She too had realized he would suffer the consequences. She was about to run to the fence but I grabbed her arm.
“He’ll be okay.” I told her, not completely sure myself.
“They’ll kill him!” she pulled, struggling against me to break free.
“If they were going to kill him, they would’ve already done it.” I guessed.
“Noah!” she screamed again, ignoring my words.
Felix came over, I thought he was going to hit her but he spoke calmly.
“This girl is right. They will not kill him.” he told her quietly. “You need to quiet down and get back to work or another guard will come over here.”
Felix’s unspoken words were implied. He knew any other officer would punish her for her disturbance. I let go of her when I saw this register in her eyes and she took a shaky breath before getting back to work.
“You okay?” he asked under his breath so no one would hear.
“My little brother was killed.” I started shoveling dirt away once again. I couldn’t let someone call me out on not working or being this close to an officer. It just didn’t look good if I stood there doing nothing.
“I’m sorry, we’ll talk after lunch.” He placed a hand on my back before walking away.
As the morning passed, the work became more of a strain because I wasn’t used to the lifting and work. I was still moving faster then Shira, Tziporah and mama though.
When it was time for lunch, we all marched back to the barracks. Just waiting to get food took half the time we were given to eat. But we all seemed to eat faster because we were hungrier from working.
The guards started getting us moving towards the work area once again. I saw another officer jogging over to our group. When the person got closer, I noticed it was Giselle with her black hair up in a bun.
She said something to Felix and the guard who had hit me. Without another word, Felix stopped the group.
“A15426, come with us.” He met my eyes.
I stepped forward, honestly unafraid.
Felix grabbed my right arm, Giselle my left. Neither of them held me tightly but they had to make it look as if they were. They led me away from the group that had started walking once again.
“Dad told me to bring you two to his office then I go find him.” she told Felix and I.
I tensed slightly. I was afraid of facing their father. He had every right to resent me, I was scum to him hidden right under his nose. He could want me dead.
Felix squeezed my arm gently, sensing my anxiety. Was there anything he could do about this? Would he even bother trying to help if his father wanted to kill me?
Giselle slipped something into my pants pocket where I also had my bread, I assumed the necklace but I wasn’t checking out in the open.
We walked to a building that was near the entrance of the camp. It looked much nicer then any other building I had been in since I arrived here.
Inside, there were white walls and tiled floors. There was one large area with a long rectangular table with many chairs surrounding it. There was another door parallel to where we were standing.
At least there was no one else in here. That took away a bit of my nerves.
Giselle let go of me and said she was going to find Emmett. Felix took my hand and led me around the table and through the other door.
Inside was a large wooden desk, tons of paperwork scattered on its surface. In front of the desk was a blue couch.
Felix shut the door behind us and embraced me.
I cried quietly for the loss of my brother, which seemed to slam into me with Felix’s touch.
I would never be able to see Levi’s smile again. He would never hug me again. I couldn’t ruffle his hair or hear his laugh anymore. There would be no more card games, no more story telling and no more teasing him.
Levi was gone. Erased with no way to remember him as if he had never existed.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered into my ear. He rubbed my back, comforting me. “So sorry.”
He just held me tightly; I clung to him as if he would disappear if I let him go.
“How old was he?” Felix asked, hesitating.
“Eleven.” I sniffled, trying to pull myself together.
He took in a shaky breath and buried his face in my hair.
“This is why I hate my job. So many innocent lives being stolen for no good reason.” He mumbled.
When he pulled away, I saw nothing but guilt and self-loathing in his eyes. He truly hated what he was, what his father was.
I longed to take that all away from him. he didn’t need to feel that way, he was different from other officers. He was kinder. But I had no idea how I could help him.
His hand softly caressed my cheek that I was guessing had a handprint on it from being slapped.
“How badly does it hurt?” he asked when I winced.
“Could be worse.” I muttered.
He sighed, closing his eyes. “I know.”
“Felix, there is nothing you could’ve done to help me without getting us in trouble.” I told him, hating the guilt I knew he felt.
“That’s the worst part.” He replied. “I can’t do anything.”
I reached into my pocket and took out what Giselle had given me. It was, in fact, Baba’s necklace.
“So that’s what Giselle had to give you.” He mused, touching the chain.
“My Baba gave it to me after I came home from your house that day.” I said. “She is the only person I told you were a Nazi.”
“Why’d she give it to you?”
“My grandfather and her were forbidden to see each other because he was a Christian man. He gave it to her to promise that they would fight to stay together. She urged me to do the same with you.”
“She doesn’t care that I’m an officer, does she?”
“No, she didn’t.” I smiled sadly. “She was separated from us on the first day. I won’t see her again, will I?”
He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I figured that when she was separated from us.” I hesitated. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He looked at me curiously.
“Be honest with me.” I bit my lip. “Did she suffer before she died?”
He sighed. “Based on what I know, she would have only felt the pain for a few seconds before becoming unconscious.”
He turned away from me and I put a hand on his shoulder.
“Thank you for telling me.” I said. It was relieving to know that she didn’t have to suffer for too long. It was a fairly quick death.
“I hate what I am.” He whispered after a moment of silence.
Taking his arm, I pulled him to turn and face me. I wished he wasn’t angry with himself. Quite honestly I was not angry with him anymore. I understood now.
To prove this to him, I took out my necklace.
“I want you to hold onto this for me.” I held it out to him without hesitation.
“I can’t.” he shook his head fiercely.
“I need you to.” I pressed on. “If another officer finds out I have it, they’ll take it away. I also don’t want to lose it when I work.”
“Eliana…” he took it. “I will fight for you, I promise.”
“I believe you.” I replied.
I longed to kiss him but I couldn’t. he cared for me but I doubted he was still in love with me. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
Even if he did still love me, we shouldn’t be together. The risks were too high as it is and I didn’t want things to become more complicated.
There was a knock at the door that startled me.
“Felix?” Emmett called.
what did you think? worked pretty hard on this one.
lifes about to get crazy for me. uploads might be slow for the next three weeks. sorry!
please vote and comment
<3
Tori