Jimin's Pov
"Jimin..."
"Hmm?"
"You still haven't ate your cake I gave you hours ago"
"Eomma, I'm not hungry. Just let me do my work" I rolled my eyes without looking at her.
The piece of cake has been laying in the table since two hours or so and I haven't even touched it. Well, I'm particularly not hungry but who'll argue with Eomma now?
"You need to eat, dear. Have you checked your body these days? You're getting unhealthily skinny. How will you for in your engagement suit? Jesus, your face!" I finally looked at her from my sketch, giving her an annoyed look. Am I really getting that skinny?
"Eomma, you have to understand-"
"No, I don't get to hear about any other complaints. You're starting to eat more food from tomorrow. I'll make a good schedule for you to follow" My mouth pop opened as I stared at her with widened eyes.
"Eomma! I'm perfectly fine! You don't have to make me any schedule, I'm not a kid. You should've told me before that you had a problem with my eating disorder" I looked away as my words slipped out of my tongue.
Well, forgive me for getting frustrated at these daily taunting about my health and eating disorders. I'm trying so bad, but I can't make it enough. Why can't anyone notice my trying? Everyone's there to judge you whenever you're at the hardest moment of your life, but no one's actually there for you when you need them to be.
A bitter truth. I hated those. I could coexist with everything other than bitter truths.
"Jimin-ah.. honey, I've never had problems with your eating disorders. It's just y-you were eating fine since a few days until it stopped lately. I was worried about you, dear. Don't get mad, I know you're trying but-
"But what Eomma? You're implying now I should start eating like a monster? I should gain more weight? Y'all were so mad at me when I was gaining weight which was natural! I've been told so many fucking times that I'm starting to eat like a pig! That's why I've left everything now! It's not enough for you guys? I'm still not doing enough?" I yelled, slowly catching my breath as I finished.
"Honey..." Eomma came closer hugging me as I leaned into her in defeat. I needed that comfort.
"Why is it so hard, Mum? I'm trying my best, b-but it isn't making thorough..I-I-
Fresh tears fell from my face as I stuttered in my words. It was a habit. Stuttering while crying or whenever I'm emotional. It was so hard living life with it's every rule. No one is made with flaws. I'm not too, but I keep trying to be best.
I want to be capable for everyone, I wanted to be best so everyone would appreciate me. That's why I always see the world from its positive side so it won't effect me anymore than it already did.
That's why, I smile. Smiling helps me so much. Maybe I'm still my past self but I've improved..a lot. And I will still try. But it was hard.. always is
"Jimin-ah, You're trying your best. I was so harsh on you, dear. I'm so sorry. All of my life, I've blamed you for everything. Even when you were at your tough time. I was a miserable mom back then, I should've- I should've kept you away from him. Maybe.. maybe I could have saved them too, oh how much I regret those moments" She mumbled the last part.
My breathing stopped..I could feel my tears stopping midway too. I closed my eyes jumping back in time...
________________
4 years ago
I was humming a tune as I sketched a new design. I've been working on it for so long. I gave Soojin a promise that I'll deliver her this design by the end of the week. The day was really beautiful today, the sky was so pretty. It was spring. How much I've treasured the warmth and lovely floral fragrance in the air during spring time.
"Hi, babe" Someone kissed me in the cheeks distracting me from my thoughts.
"Hannie! You're back, how was work?" I smiled, jumping as I engulfed him in a hug.
"Work was hectic as always, what were you doing?" he smiled looking at my table.
"Oh, I was-
"Ugh, you're doing doodles again? Babe, how many time do I have to tell you to not ruin my table with your doodling supplies" Han's smile immediately dropped into a deep frown.
"I have a new client, did you know? I'm really working hard on this design!" I smiled despite the little stinging in my heart.
"People also pay others for these doodling? Life seems easy suddenly" he laughed.
"Han... it's not doodling! It's something I really like to do! Can't you appreciate me a little?" I almost stubbornly said, whining.
"I do appreciate you, babe. Just not your doodling side. Anyway I'm free today so I'll be taking you out in the evening. Dress something nice!" He said before running of to the bedroom.
I felt butterflies in my stomach as a satisfied smile came in my face.
Han loves me a lot, right? A person always can't love you in all the ways, I have to cope with that. Maybe he won't understand my skills now but he would in a matter of short time. We have an entire life ahead. I'm really excited for this date. But then again I'm always excited and happy whenever he takes me out.
Especially more now since it's almost been so many weeks since we went out. After our engagement, we barely had time for eachother it seemed. But I guess, it's life and in life you have to give lots of sacrifices and I'm okay with those.
But I definitely wasn't ready for what was coming next.
"C'mon, Jimin! What's taking so long? We gotta hurry!" Han said frustratedly as he kept tapping the floor with his foot.
"Sorry, Hannie. But you know taking these meds are important for me!" Han rolled his eyes and I ignored it.
"C'mon now or else we'll have to order take out"
"How do I look?" I smiled at him.
I was wearing a sheer yellow sweater with a white shirt underneath and blue jeans which were way too loose. These clothes have been in my routine for the past few weeks. A routine scheduled by my best friend, Mina.
"Babe, you look good but what's with these loose fittings? I thought you were okay with tight ones" I frowned when I felt slight disappointment from him.
"I don't look good enough? Should I change? But Hannie it was-"
"No, you don't need to change now that's gonna take another two hours. Let's get going" Without saying anything he got into the car without caring about me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad when he said those words. It hurt me. Han knew the reason behind me dressing like this, doesn't he? Why was he questioning me about it still? Maybe..I actually look really hilarious in loose fittings. I tried to keep the negative thoughts away from me but as the day is going..I am not being able to do so.
Han stopped the car in front of what it looked like a Chinese restaurant. I think he's just stopping the car in front of the said restaurant not actually going in it. Because it can't be, right? He knows...he knows I dislike Chinese cuisine. I don't hate it but I sincerely dislike it, recently I've been growing a huge dislike for it though. Everything's changing so fast.
"Jimin? Are you even planning to get out?" Han said, standing near the entrance of the restaurant.
The restaurant was really pretty. All red and golden, with dragons and different things painted in the walls. It widely gave a Chinese cultural vibes which I really enjoyed. A waiter took us to a table at the very end. I thought of asking him to give us a table near the window but I preferred not to. What if Han gets mad? I already made him enough mad tonight. The waiter gave us a menu and went away.
"Do you like this place, baby? Isn't it nice?" He smiled looking at me. I nodded with a smile.
"It is really beautiful but-"
"What are you going to order? I've heard their soup dumplings are real good. We should try that" He kept talking without letting me speak and he looked so excited I was almost scared to tell him that I dislike Chinese cuisine.
"Should we try the soups as well?" He glanced at the menu pointing at some type of pork soup.
"Sure, whatever you like" I mumbled smiling at him.
Soup and dumplings were the easiest option for me. Nothing to flavourful and simple. I think I won't get sick if I have those so it was okay.
I couldn't stand the strong smell of food since a few weeks, well it was kind of obvious so I ignored the sudden cravings. I'm a huge foodie in real life, I love any kind of food really. Spicy or sweet, I'll eat anything.
"Do you want anything else, babe?" Han asked glancing at me. I shook my head
The food arrived not too long after we ordered. All of them looked good but I was way too sick to eat them all. The soup looked like it had lots of spices in it. I loved spicy food but I couldn't stand the smell the soup had. I went for the dumplings first. Taking my chopsticks and picking one, I bit into it.
The taste of pork and crab came into my mouth. I started chewing it slowly, adjusting with the flavour.
This..this is why I don't like Chinese cuisine. I mostly don't like the flavours.. they're.. they're kinda weird to describe.
[I'm not disrespecting Chinese cuisine here. Jimin's character only dislikes the cuisine, meaning the taste and all that. However I, myself do enjoy Chinese cuisine. So, my intentions aren't to disrespect any culture or be racist ;-;]
"Is everything fine? The food is good right?"
"It is.." I mumbled as I hardly swallowed the dumpling.
It was until I had stuffed two dumplings in my stomach and I felt real bad.
"You're quite silent today, Babe. Is it the place or food?"
It's actually hormones, I wanted to answer but something stopped me.
"No, the place is beautiful it's just I don't really -
"OMG! If it isn't Han the greatest!" Someone jumped in our table, making me almost scared. God that was so sudden.
"Minsoo? Aish, I thought you died or some! Weren't you supposed to be here months ago?" Han laughed whole heartedly as he got up to hug the said 'Minsoo'.
Minsoo kinda looked Han's age. Taller than me, thin model like legs, short hair cherry coloured. If I'm being honest, I'd say she was an idol or something.
"Well, Aren't you gonna introduce me to your boyfriend, Han-shi?" She smiled mischievously, putting one of her hands around Han's shoulders as if they were buddies.
So far, I don't really get good vibes from her but I ignored it as hormonal change.
"This is my boyfriend, Jimin. And Jimin, this is Kim Minsoo;, my highschool friend. She worked in my dad's company but went away to Tokyo for 6 years"
I didn't quite paid attention to Minsoo's history after Han introduced me as his 'boyfriend' and not 'fiance'. We've been engaged for almost 7 months. Shouldn't he introduce me as his fiance to his friends now?
"Oh! Nice to meet you, Jimin-shi! I have heard a lot about you when I used to talk with Hannie!"
"Han has never mentioned anything about you though"
"Babe, I did! Don't you remember? That pretty girl from our campus? Minsoo?" I shook my head looking away.
"Pretty you say? I looked like an alien back in the days. Anyway, I don't wanna disturb your date. I'll go now" Minsoo started to leave when Han stopped her.
"You could join us, you know? If you have any date then we could do a double date thingy" He suggested without asking me anything.
"I don't have any date, Hannie. Been single for two years now"
Okay didn't need to know that. You can leave now, really great.
"Then you could join us alone! We wouldn't mind, right Jimin-ah?" Han looked at me and when I was about to say No. He whispered 'Please say yes' with his lips.
I masked the little hurt in my face saying yes.
Of course, Minsoo agreed. She ordered more food than we already had. Especially, seafood. I really hope I don't get sick enough to puke. Which I was fearing the most throughout this 'date'.
The three of us were talking, talking as in Han and Minsoo were talking while I answered some chats with 'yes' and 'no's.
Something was burning in my chest other than jealousy. I knew I was jealous as if it wasn't obvious. But I noticed how happy Han looked talking to her in these few minutes. He was at some point, flirting with her. I know, I should say something but I seriously don't want to create a scene here. Especially at this point. I was slowly feeling sick.
"Jimin-shi, you're quite silent today. Am I bothering your date too much?" Minsoo smirked. I don't know if she really did that or I was just hallucinating. It could be the second option as I really was feeling sick now. The smell of seafood was making my stomach sick. I needed to make some excuse to get out of here.
"Mm! This crab's actually really good! Jimin-shi, you should try some! Here take it" Minsoo smile as she urged the chopstick with crab meat at me.
"N-No, I'm fine. I'm really full-"
I nervously giggled hoping she'd get the sign.
But she didn't
"Oh c'mon, it's really good! Just one bite, tell me if you don't like it"
The smell was way too strong and I didn't feel good about it. I felt nausea slowly hitting me.
"Jimin, if she's insisting much you should give -
Before Han could say anything else, I threw everything I ate out in front of them.
"What the-" Minsoo started off, gasping as her eyes are wide as saucers.
I was so ashamed and embarrassed to say the least. I still was feeling like crap, these negative feelings were definitely adding the cherry on top of this disaster cake. I felt tears coming from my eyes as I stared at the floor.
"Jimin.." Han started off, his voice slightly different than before. I winced, biting my lips.
"H-Han, I told h-her I wouldn't ea-eat, she kept u-urging me" I whispered out.
"Couldn't you have told me sooner You-!" He stared at me with rage in his eyes.
"Wh-what's going on.. Jimin-shi, you're okay right?"
"I-I felt.. nauseous. I have taken the pills..bu-but I can't control th-the smell"
People started to gather around our table. I was more ashamed than anything that I've caused this mess.
"I'm sorry for the mess my boyfriend made. He isn't feeling well. We'll be leaving shortly now. Put the bills in my credit card" Han said looking down.
"Let's fucking get out of here" He gripped my hand so tightly it started to hurt.
Looking at our scene, Minsoo started leaving with us too.
"I'm taking you to the fucking hospital. To get you some fucking pills. You can't just roam around puking and shaming me!" He yelled, storming off to the driveway.
"Why hospital? Is he feeling that unwell? Jimin-shi are you-"
"He's fucking pregnant, Minsoo-yah" Han said looking at me with nothing but disappointment in his eyes.
I could feel more tears coming out of my eyes as I bit my lips to the point I felt metallic taste in my mouth. My whole body was shaking, I just wanted this nightmare to end.
"He's.. what. Hannie.. he's a man how can-
"No he isn't a fucking man! God wish he was! He's transgender and fucking pregnant now!"
A few thunderstorms went by with full force. [Tf, how do you explain thunderstorms]
"Oh..uh..I think.. I'll be leaving. Stay well you two" With an awkward smile she left.
"Aish, there goes all of my reputation. She'll fucking spread this shit to everyone in my highschool" Han yelled looking frustratedly everywhere, stomping on the ground. He looked disappointed at everything, frustrated. I felt more bad as I kept looking at him. More thunderstorms went by.
"Fuck all of this.." Han whispered looking me dead in the eyes. I felt my body go cold.
H-he had that.. terrifying gaze which..which wasn't comforting. The disappointment in his eyes were now replaced with something more disgusting.
Rage, Anger, Evil
Everything went down after that
~Author's Note~
Hi! Happy Belated Army day to y'all ( ◜‿◝ )♡
A plot twist just arrived, huh? ;-;
I'm planning to add more dramatic effects in this story as you can tell. I wanted to write more but thought it'd be way too massive. [Taehyung: It's MaSsiVe 😌]
Also give me some ideas someone 😭 I have to continue this story but I'm not getting any ideas, lmao.
Also, Hoseok's 'More' was 😧😧
It's his Agust D era fr
Word Count: 2960+