Nari loved Jungwon.
At first, she'd been hesitant to enter a relationship with him; she'd never dated someone she was older than, even if it was only one year. But the feelings she had for him were undeniable, so her hesitancy faded quickly.
The first few months had been filled with slight awkwardness as they established boundaries and became used to their new level of intimacy. She'd expected this, and of course both were patient with each other. Those months held innocent pecks, stiff cuddling, and the very foundation of what they were now.
Don't get her wrong, she'd loved those memories. But as they delved further into their relationship with more and more time passing by, she found herself having deeper desires. She never shared these feelings with Jungwon—she was afraid he'd feel pressured to take things past what he truly wanted. So, she said nothing.
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Jungwon loved Nari.
He'd admired her skills from the beginning of their survival show, and those feelings quickly developed into a crush and then more as he discovered her personality and quirks. She was truly beautiful in his eyes—not only for her body, for her soul.
He knew she'd had troubled relationships in the past, so he'd taken extra care to reassure her every step of the way, even when he'd felt unsure and timid himself. This was his first relationship, he wanted to do it right.
Only, now he just wanted to do it.
Okay, that may have been an exaggeration. But he was a teenage boy, and he had a very attractive girlfriend. The last thing he wanted was to force her into something she wasn't comfortable doing. He himself wasn't even sure he was ready to go all the way. But he did know a big part of him wanted more from their physical relationship.
But Jungwon was not a confrontational person, nor did he want his girlfriend to feel like she had less control over their intimacy simply because he was a man. So, he said nothing.
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"Come closer," Nari said. Jungwon listened, scooting over on the sofa. She snuggled into him, humming happily. His voice rumbled in his chest as he chuckled, looking down at her.
"You're cute."
"I know."
They smiled at each other, simultaneously leaning into press a slow kiss to each other's lips. Nari shivered as his thumb drew small circles on her waist, sending heat throughout her. Her hands made their way to his hair, pulling softly at the strands as they shifted ever so slightly to be more comfortable.
Jungwon felt his insides stir with desire and forced himself to pull away, clearing his throat and putting a bit of space between them. Her stomach dropped with disappointment. All she wanted was for him to go further, to treat her less gently and more...just more.
"Anime?" he asked, grabbing the remote. She mumbled an answer, trying to hide her disappointment.
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"What do I do?" she exasperatedly asked.
Sunoo popped another chip into his mouth, humming in thought. "Maybe he's just shy? He's younger than you, after all. Less experience and all that." She frowned with a shrug.
"I just...I want him, Sunoo. I want more than just soft kisses and cuddles. I want—I want the kind of heat you read about and see in movies. I want to know that he wants me too."
Heeseung peeked his head in at that moment, giggling at her red face. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to eavesdrop." Nari groaned in embarrassment, throwing a pillow at him as he sat across from her.
"If it helps, I guarantee he's having the same issues."
Yes, Jungwon had confessed his struggles to his eldest teammate. It had been an awkward conversation—one that Heeseung made sure mentioned protection before the younger could run away in embarrassment—but he knew for a fact he also wanted more. He couldn't outright admit that, he didn't want to betray Jungwon's trust. But he thought he could help the two out a bit.
"You should talk to him," he continued, stealing a chip from Sunoo. "Communication is key."
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Heeseung had convinced everyone to leave Jungwon and Nari at the dorms for a while. They didn't get much alone time and their members understood that, so it was a fairly easy task.
That was how Jungwon and Nari ended up in his bed, wrapped up in each other's arms as well as the blankets. "You're so pretty," he mumbled, placing kisses on her cheeks. She smiled, tilting so he kissed her lips instead.
"And you're very handsome, Yang Jungwon."
He pressed his mouth to hers once more, Nari's arms wrapping around his neck eagerly as she closed all distance between them. Jungwon's stomach fluttered at the new sensation. Her heart jumped as his mouth opened ever so slightly more, deepening the kiss.
And just as she was sure they'd finally go at least a bit further, he abruptly pulled away, sitting up. "I-I'm sorry," he immediately apologized, his face scarlet with shame. Tears welled in her eyes as she avoided his gaze, clenching a fist and staring at the wall.
"Jungwon," she started, her tone sharper than usual. "Do you...do you want me?"
"Of course!" he immediately answered, his head whipping around to face her. His heart stopped as she finally met his gaze, her own full of insecurity.
"Then why do you pull away...? If you're not ready for more, please just tell me...this back and forth is driving me insane." Confusion crossed his features as he took her hands in his.
"I was pulling away because I thought you weren't ready. I didn't want you to feel pressured into anything because I'm a guy..."
"I didn't want you to feel pressured because I'm older than you..."
Both sat for a moment, taking in each other's confessions with shock. Communication really was all they needed. "So...we both want more," Jungwon quietly concluded, the older nodding shyly.
"But not sex," she quickly clarified, flushing. "Not yet. Just—just more than what we do now." He nodded in understanding, a small smile crossing his face as he cautiously leaned in to kiss her again.
She immediately sensed the difference. While their previous kisses had been soft and loving, this one was passionate, yet tender. His hands wandered towards her waist, squeezing lightly. She briefly wondered why he was so good at this if he'd never done it before, but quickly brushed off the thought as she heard a small noise escape his lips.
Jungwon tensed, incredibly embarrassed while Nari took pride in the sound, taking the opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth. She led the kiss, massaging her tongue against his and letting her hands wander to the hem of his shirt.
"Can I..."
Jungwon nodded slightly, flipping their positions so she was laying on top of him. He shivered as her hands slowly traced their way up his torso, her fingertips appreciating the definition in his abdomen. "Noona," he whispered, his voice shaking with sensitivity.
Nari licked her lips in a way that was incredibly seductive to the younger boy before leaning down and placing a soft, closed-mouth kiss onto the boy's neck, testing the waters. She didn't miss the way his body arched into her touch.
He flushed at her smirk, pursing his lips as her hands lightly traced his neck. "Stop teasing," he quietly said, averting her gaze. She giggled, pecking his lips before returning them to his neck. He gasped lightly as her kisses transitioned from soft to open, her tongue swirling around the sensitive skin.
"Fuck, Jagi..."
She flushed at the utter sinfulness of his voice, wanting to hear more and kissing down his torso. Her flush deepened drastically as she shifted and felt something hard against her thigh. He moaned lightly in surprise at the movement, his eyes snapping open and meeting her gaze.
"P-please stop," he whispered. Nari nodded, immediately getting off of him and petting his head soothingly as he calmed down. After a few minutes, his breathing returned to normal, and he apologized.
Nari cupped his cheeks gently, making eye contact with him. "You have nothing to be sorry for, love. Okay?" He nodded slowly, relaxing into her touch.
"It was just a lot," he admitted, shivering as he remembered the sensations. She smiled in understanding, laying down and cuddling into his side.
"Did it feel good though?" Jungwon nodded, pecking her lips and holding her closer. "I'm glad...and I'm glad you trust me." He smiled, kissing her forehead and sighing with content before frowning.
"You didn't get anything, Noona..."
She lightly pushed him back down as he moved to sit up, shaking her head. "Don't worry about that. I'm sure you're a bit tired, right? Feeling those things for the first time...it takes a lot out of you. So just relax." Jungwon laid back down, but she saw the bitterness in his eyes.
"I wish I had been the first to do those things to you," he confessed. Nari averted his gaze. He hadn't meant it, but his words hurt her. They made her feel too impure for him. "Hey," he gently said, grabbing her chin. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."
She shook her head, insisting it was fine with a slight smile. "As long as you're the one doing those things to me now, that's what matters."