My mom stood behind me trying to zip my dress up, for some reason it fit extra tight today. I blame it on my bloated stomach, finally, my mom managed to zip it up. I released my curly ginger hair, and my eyes fell to the dress. It was beautiful, it was a short strapless white dress tightly fitted to my body with a bow hanging behind me. A small chain of diamonds was hanging around my neck, my heels were white with very long straps wrapped around my ankle.
"Your hips are wider." My mom chirped behind me, my head turned to face her.
"Mammy, please don't start about my weight." I exhaled, quietly.
"Preciosa, the only reason they're allowing you to marry their son is that you're beautiful, skinny, and obedient." She said, her arms wrapped around my shoulders and her head prompted against my shoulder. "Those are the qualities they want from you." (Translation: precious)
I refuse to believe that's what Kaz wants from me, he's not that type of person and they're just assuming he's like his son but he's nothing like Bodhi.
"I understand my place." I mumbled under my breath.
I shrugged her arm off of me before walking away, I carefully climbed down the stairs with my head hanging low. I felt like there was a collar wrapped around my neck and my parents were pulling the string, and I couldn't breathe properly. Suddenly cameras started flashing almost blinding me, my hand tried its best to cover my eyes but it wasn't good enough.
I'm starting to have a panic attack and if I don't relax I might just break down completely. My chest was heaving up and down, the walls were closing in on me like they always do, and my body was starting to shake at the voices that were shouting at me to pose. Suddenly a hand grabbed my wrist pulling me away from the stairs and the public eye, he pulled me behind the stairs and inside the wine cellar slamming the door shut.
I held my very shaky hands in front of me, my eyes were too busy focusing on them to recognize the person in front of me. His hands touched mine, he was trying his best to soothe me as he leaned down and gently kissed my hands drawing me out of my panic. My eyes stared at the familiar Dahlia flower tattoo sitting on his hand, they shifted to meet a pair of grey eyes.
"Breathe, darling." Kaz whispered against my cold fingers, he exhaled slowly waiting for me to catch up with him.
I inhaled with him slowly right before exhaling, my chest was starting to straighten out and my breathing became even. We both were breathing together slowly and carefully, our hands held on tightly to each other.
One of his hands left mine and crawled up to my cheek, he stared deeply inside my eyes. "Just like that." He whispered.
My body was slowly starting to relax, I followed his example over and over again. He managed to help me overcome my panic attack, my brain kept trying to think of many possibilities on how he did it.
"I'm sorry." I stuttered, this is embarrassing. He probably thinks I'm a spoiled brat that throws a fit whenever I don't get my way.
"There's nothing to be sorry about, I get them to." He whispered.
"You have panic attacks?" I asked.
He smiles softly. "I wasn't always a billionaire."
I didn't know that, there's so much I don't know about him. Who is Kaz Rhodes, because I only know him when I'm wrapped in his sheets or dancing in his guest home.
His smile quickly faded away almost like he remembered something, a look flashed across his eyes. There was something urgent about them and fearful, my hand touched his cheek in return. I want him to communicate with me, I want him to tell me what's bothering him or making him happy, I want to know it all even the boring parts. As long as it's a part of him because he affects me as no other person could ever, he's the first man I could see myself loving.
He's been acting weird ever since yesterday, last night I kept thinking about his day off and how sketchy that sounded coming from his mouth.
His mouth opened slightly, and his eyes glanced down to the floor and away from mine. "There's something I need to tell you but I don't know how t-"
His sentence was cut off when the door opened, Tiago held the door with a frown on his lips. His eyes fell on our hands that were combined, Kaz pulled away first and my eyes followed him as he stepped away from me. That surprisingly hurt me, it never hurt me before but it stung.
"The party is out here." Tiago said directing it to Kaz, his eyes were staring him down.
Kaz ran his hand across his chin frustrated, he nods his head without sparing me another glance he exited the room leaving me with my wandering thoughts.
"You're lucky it was me and not your fiancé." My brother said. "Or our father."
"Lucky me." I mumbled under my breath, I brushed him out of the way but he was quick enough to grab my wrist.
He leaned in while his fingers circle my wrist. "This will end badly, Talitha."
"Nothing is going on, you've mistaken our exchange." I said trying my best to play it off but my eyes were starting to get watery.
"You think me a fool, I see the way that man looks at you." He says.
"You're a fool." I snapped but curiosity was getting the best of me. My body leaned in closer making sure we were being as quiet as possible. "How does he look at me?"
My brother chuckles, he slowly released my wrist while staring at me. "He looks at you like you're his mistress." He said.
My mouth parted, and I looked taken back by his sentence. That's what he saw when he looked at us, that can't be possible.
"I would've thought it'd be the other way around."
He gently moved me out of the way and walked past me, I stood still with dangerous thoughts pounding in my head. My heart was beating fast in my chest, my hands were in fists as I repeated his words inside my head. I thought back to all the exchanges this week with Kaz, that picture he was holding and hid immediately after seeing me lingered inside my head.
He didn't want me to see what was on that picture, that's weird.
I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen where the back door was, my head hung low as I tried to sneak past all these people.
"Talitha." My fiancé shouted, my body froze and I mentally punched myself.
I forced a smile before turning around to face him and his hockey friends, they all had an alcoholic beverage in their hands. Bodhi held his arm out for me to wrap myself in, my hand smoothly wrapped around his torso as I leaned my chest against his side. There were two blondes, and a black-haired guy standing across from me, they were buff and had that athletic build.
I chatted with them for a few minutes, mostly it was spent by my fiancé throwing my beauty and intelligence in their face. I could see with my own eyes that his teammates would betray him, they were eye fucking me the entire time which made me feel uncomfortable.
"I need some air." I whispered inside Bodhi's ear, he didn't care that much and simply nodded.
While walking to the back door I spotted Kaz standing across the room next to the window with a woman only inches away from him, they looked to be in some sort of an argument. My head tilted slightly trying to get a better angle of the woman but she didn't look familiar, I haven't seen her here before which sent warnings to my head.
I ignored that feeling and slid out the door, the evening sky floated above me as the clouds were starting to turn gray slowly. I walked across the pool with my hand laid against my flat stomach, I'm starting to feel a little sick by just thinking the worst. I grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open, I walked inside before closing the door behind me.
This place is where we shared a very intimate moment and secretly I'm praying that it was real, that what we have is real and not a scam. My hands were shaking as I stood across the drawer, my eyes practically drilled holes inside the wood as I debated whether to trust him or not.
Maybe I should wait till he talks to me but how can I trust he'll tell me the truth? I can't, I need to see for myself.
My finger grabbed the knob, I inhaled then exhaled before pulling it open. My eyes fell on a few envelopes and stopped on the backside of the picture, my fingers grabbed it and suddenly two other pictures appeared underneath it meaning it was a series of pictures. My stomach dropped when I realized what pictures come in a series, I flipped over the sonogram revealing a 10-week-old fetus. In the corner of each picture had the date of when he hid it and names, on each picture had the names, Larisa and Kaz.
Larisa and Kaz, Larisa and Kaz, Larisa and Kaz.
My shaky hand trapped my mouth, my eyes became watery and this time I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I felt sick to my stomach, and the urge to vomit appeared. I felt like everything was moving in slow motion, especially time, my eyes were glaring at these pictures hoping they'd disappear. That's why he was acting weird, he got another girl pregnant with his child.
We didn't even know each other 10 weeks ago but he was willing to hide this from me, he was going to have a child with someone else. I can't keep doing this with him, he needs to focus on his child and its mom. That must be the woman he was arguing with, she's the one that has every right over him now.
I heard the door open behind me, and heavy footsteps followed it. I could feel his eyes on me, he was trying to observe me without interrupting but I heard him the second he walked in. My hand trailed up to my cheek where I wiped away multiple tears, I swallowed down my pain and tried putting on an emotionless facial expression.
"I knew you were hiding something from me." I whispered, my voice cracked mid-sentence.
Don't cry in front of him, don't show him how much this hurts.
"Talit-"
I spun around quickly with anger displayed on my face, I threw the picture right in his face and he barely was able to catch them with his head facing down in shame. I stared at him with disgust, he was willing to hide this from me, but for how long?
"10 weeks and you've never mentioned it once." I spit out, angrily.
"I didn't know she was pregnant till I went to the ultrasound with her."
"We're you with her yesterday?" I asked.
His eyes finally lifted to meet mine, his fingers massaging his forehead. "Yes."
I exhaled, my breath was shaky. "So what now? She's here with you?" My shoulders shrugged, god I probably look so pathetic.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He said.
My head tilted, he's going to be in a relationship with her. That's why she's here, getting cozy with the family because she's already more a part of this family than I am.
"You're going to be in a relationship with her." I mumbled under my breath, my brain wrapped around his facial expression.
He cleared his throat before nodding slowly. "She's moving into the guest house with me until after the wedding."
My heart completely shattered, I felt the piece break inside of me. "After the wedding?"
"I'm going to buy her a house and we're going to raise our kid there." He whispered.
My hand touched my mouth again, this time my fingers rubbed my bottom lip. His eyes fell to my very shaky hands, he took a step toward me.
"Why not just stay in this house?" I asked, a part of me already knew that answer to my question but I needed to hear it from him.
He was now standing in front of me, towering over me making it harder to breathe with his presence. His hand slowly reached to touch my cheek and my body flinched when his skin touched mine, it angered me that my body didn't fill with disgust.
"Too many memories, it'll haunt me." He said.
"Then why do it?"
I shouldn't have said that, he has a child to think about now but I can't help to imagine how much I would've been okay with it if he was honest with me, I would've helped him get through this. It's a stupid thought, someone like him would never want to be with someone like me.
"I don't love her but I already love that kid, if I abandon her then I'm abandoning my kid." He said, carefully. "It's the right thing to do and you know it."
That's why I hate him because he is right. He screwed up with his son already by sleeping with his fiancée, he doesn't want to screw up with his unborn child too.
"This would've never worked out, you're marrying my son."
He's right again.
"We were doomed from the beginning." I said, my hand circled his and pulled it off my cheek.
I gave him a last glance before hurrying out the door, I couldn't stand to stare at him any longer. It was too painful especially since I was getting ready to run away with him, I was ready to throw away everything for him, and I would've done anything for him and no one should ever have that much power over me, not again.
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