Love in the Shadows (Book 2)

Chapter 8

"Battleships" - Daughtry

Sleep.

What is sleep?

I don't know her.

The bags under my eyes are a clear sign of the constant tossing and turning I did last night. And it wasn't just my mind still processing the shit storm that was yesterday, it was also my body missing Steve.

For three months we were on different sides of the world, and now, knowing he's in the same building but not here with me, it's just torture. It took so much self control to not run to his room and crawl into bed with him. But I know he needs his space and I need to give it to him.

The one good thing about a sleepless night is that it gave me time to think and I came to a very big realization.

I'm an asshole.

Last night Steve had legitimate concerns about the whole Loki plan and I made him feel like he was being unreasonable. Nothing he said was wrong. Loki probably does want to win me back. And even though I know it doesn't mean anything because he's not going to change my mind, I can understand why it makes him uncomfortable. I mean, him seeing Sharon makes me uncomfortable. And just because I'm stupid enough to not say anything about it doesn't mean I should expect him to be.

And that's what I need Steve to know. I need to apologize.

After a quick shower I get dressed in jeans and a simple black button down shirt, putting a light jacket over the whole thing. I put on some much needed makeup, mainly just to cover up the dark circles of a restless night. I leave my room heading to his, hoping he's not too upset to talk to me. And if he is...then maybe we can pick a time to meet up when he's feeling a little better.

God...it sounds like I need to set up a meeting just to talk to my boyfriend. I've really made a mess of things.

I take a deep breath as I knock on his door and can't help but think back to when I stood at his door ten months ago, ready to confront him because I thought he hated me. Needless to say I'm more nervous now than I was then.

After about thirty seconds when I get no answer I try knocking again but I'm left waiting. He's not here, or he knows it's me and isn't opening the door because he doesn't want to talk to me. No. That's ridiculous he would have no way of knowing it was me out here. He probably got up early to go for a run. It's his favorite way of destressing...well, second favorite. But considering we were in separate bedrooms last night he couldn't do the other one.

With a deep sigh I leave his bedroom door and decide to head downstairs. I need to talk with Tony and see if we can come up with a plan to move forward. We also need to connect with Bruce so that we can get started working on an ankle monitor with a tracker on it for Loki, so that we always know where he's at.

I'm making a mental list of all the things we need to talk about as I head into the living room. I come to a halt when I see Steve standing behind the counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee. I was right in assuming he went out for a run, the sweat on his shirt making it cling to his chest.

His eyes meet mine when I walk in and I can see there's still some pain and annoyance lingering in them.

"Hey." I say, hating that we're acting like strangers.

"Hey." he replies, bringing his eyes back down to his coffee cup.

Okay...this is going to be harder than I thought.

"How did you sleep?" I ask, trying to ease us into normal conversation as I take a few more steps into the living room.

He gives me a confused look, as if asking if I'm really trying to do this right now before bringing his gaze back down. "Not very well." he admits, and then slightly lifts his coffee cup as if to drive his point home.

"Me either." I reply, feeling guilty that I also caused him to have a restless night.

He doesn't say anything, just leans back on the counter and takes a sip of his coffee. I hate that he won't even look at me, considering normally we can't keep our eyes off of each other.

I walk towards him, slowly, carefully, needing to make sure I show him that I'm still  with him, but not wanting to push it if he still needs some time. "Steve..." I whisper, and I can't keep the torment out of my voice.

He looks up, as if out of instinct to check on me when he hears me in pain. He looks at me with such a protective gaze, before seemingly remembering that he's upset with me and bringing his eyes back down.

I take another step closer, reaching the opposite end of the counter that he is on. "Steve, I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday." I say, deciding to just say my piece and leave him alone for a bit, because it seems to be what he needs right now. He looks up again, this time with a confused look, and it's clear he wasn't expecting me to say that. "Everything you said and every concern you're having is completely understandable, and I was wrong for invalidating what you were saying. And even more for accusing you of adjusting your feelings towards me based on the situation."

I step closer, hoping I'm not pushing this. "I've been selfish," I admit, knowing he deserves so much better than I've been giving him. "And throughout this whole issue with Loki I didn't consider how it would make you feel, and I'm sorry." I'm standing next to him now, and as much as I want to reach out for him, touch him, I don't think he's there yet. So instead I place my hand on the counter, gripping the edge to try and control myself. "Look Steve, I want to help him," I say, knowing I can't deny that fact. "But I'm not willing to lose you to do it."

His eyes widen a bit, like he's actually shocked that I said that.

"And the fact that you seem so surprised to hear me say that shows me just how badly I fucked up." I say, wanting to hug him so bad. "I love you Steve." I look at him, hoping this isn't something he needs to be reminded of. "Nothing is ever going to change that."

He's been quiet this entire time, my only indication that he's hearing me are his facial reactions, and they're not exactly providing me any reassurance. But I'm not doing this to get comfort for myself, this is for him.

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then looks away, as if unsure what to even think about it.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything." I quickly let out, the awkwardness of the silence getting to me. "You can take as much time as you need to...you know..." Although considering I don't know what I'm trying to say, I doubt he knows. I mean, I don't want to force him to accept my apology or just get over everything because I gave it to him. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that I was sorry." I say and suddenly I realize I'm awkwardly rambling now. "Okay...I'm going to go now. I'll see you later...or not if you don't want...to."

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

"Okay." I finally say, before turning around, feeling my cheeks go red.

I take one step before feeling a hand grab onto my wrist. I barely get a chance to turn around when Steve pulls me back, pinning me between him and the counter.

"Ste–" I don't even get his full name out when his hand grips the back of my neck and he slams his mouth onto me. He moves his lips against mine, hard and rough, passionately...possessively, barely giving me a chance to breathe. His other hand grabs my hips, gripping hard as he pushes himself into me, the counter behind me practically digging into my back. He brings one knee in between my legs and lifts it up, pressing it against my center. It feels so damn good that I have to clutch onto his shoulders as I let out a gasp. Steve takes this opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, licking and tasting as I let out a moan.

He pulls back, leaving me breathless and panting as I feel my legs quiver. I don't know what that was exactly, but I can't even get my mind to even try to figure it out because I am completely flustered.

"Okay..." I say, not really sure what to think right now.

Steve smiles as his hand comes up and runs his thumb across my lips. "Just wanted to show you where I'm at. Figured actions speak louder than words."

Does this mean he's forgiven me? Or, he's just really horny? Because honestly, after the way I acted, I would take either option right now. "Yeah...okay." I say, still completely worked up. "Well, I don't know if I fully understand so do you wanna take me to your room and explain it a little better." I slide my hands up and around his neck, pulling him closer.

Steve gives me a smirk as his hands come down and grab onto my waist, lifting my up and sitting me on the counter. He pushes apart my thighs, situating himself in between them as his lips find mine again. I wrap my legs around his waist pulling us closer together. My hands slide into his hair as I feel his fingers dig into my skin. His tongue teases my lips, licking in between both before sliding in.

After the fight we had this feels so good. The fear of messing things up between us builds and releases when we reconnect like this. But I suppose this has sort of become a regular thing for us. It's how we show each other that we're okay. We fight and then have makeup sex, fight and then makeup sex...fight...and then...

"Wait." I say as I try to turn my head and speak, but Steve's so consumed by what we're doing that I don't even know if he hears me. "Steve, stop." I put my hands on his shoulders to literally push him back. "We can't do this."

I can see the shock come across his face before it's replaced by pain and embarrassment as he starts to step back.

"No!" I quickly say as I slide my hands behind his neck to keep him close. "Don't pull away, please just hear me out."

He lets out a nervous breath although seemingly relaxes a bit as he stays in his spot between my legs.

I look down, hoping this isn't going to seem like a silly conversation. "Have you ever noticed that most of the times after we fight we kind of just console the other person and end up having sex, accepting it as an end to the argument without actually talking about the problem." I look back up, a little embarrassed and slightly nervous about his reaction.

I can see the slight surprise on his face, but I can't tell if he's surprised that I brought it up, or just never thought about it. But based on the way he looks away with a pensive gaze, I think it's the latter.

"I never meant to..." he doesn't finish his thought, but I see the guilt come over his face as he backs up, like he feels he shouldn't be so close to me anymore.

"No, Steve." I say, grabbing his arms to keep him from pulling away. "I'm not blaming you. Actually if I think back, I think the majority of the times it was me who initiated those moments." I drop my gaze, feeling a little guilty about all of this. "And I'm sorry if it ever felt like I was trying to overstep your feelings with sex."

"Hey," Steve says as he puts his finger under my chin and lifts my head up so I can look at him again. "It never felt like that." There's a seriousness in his tone and look that make me feel like he's being honest about that, and not just trying to push aside his feelings to coddle me and make me feel better, something I realize he seems to do often. "And now that you said that, I am realizing how often we did substitute sex for an actual conversation. But we both did that." he reassures me, not letting me take the full blame for it.

"So let's change that." I say as I grab onto his hands. "Let's have a conversation about what's been going on and be completely honest."

He squeezes my hands, and I sense a little bit of concern in him. "Okay." he says, but nervously chews on his bottom lip, making it clear he doesn't really know where to start.

So I try to find a good point to begin with. "Now, you've made your feelings about this clear, and I meant it when I said I'm not willing to lose you over this." I say, deciding to just start with the recent problem we had. "So I'm going to tell Tony and Thor that Loki needs to go back to Asgard."

"No." Steve says, and I feel like he's about to once again let go of his concerns to make me happy. And as much as I love him for wanting to do that, It isn't fair. I cannot let this relationship be so one sided.

"Steve–"

He puts his hand up to stop my protest. "Hear me out." he says and brings his hands down to rest on my thighs. "My problem was never you trying to help out Loki. You're doing a good thing for an old friend...granted he's an ex boyfriend but..." he takes a breath, and it's clear that despite him saying it's not a big deal, that part understandably bothers him. "One of the many, many things I love about you, is how much you care for others." His hands slide up and around to my back, pulling me closer. "That was never my concern. What worried me was how oblivious you seem to be about how Loki affects you. We've all seen it, and it scares the hell out of all of us. We saw you put aside your own safety because you trusted him so much. Then, even after he attacked you you still went to go see him and continue to vouch for him."

I open my mouth to defend him but Steve quickly puts his hand over it, giving me a knowing smile, as if I just proved his point. It also serves as a very important reminder for myself: shut up and let him talk.

"Look Mia I'm not saying he didn't regret what he did, or that I don't believe you about him changing, all I'm saying is that as much as you think our judgment is clouded based on what we went through with him, so is yours. And it isn't any less harmful."

Although I'm not completely oblivious to the effect Loki has on me, I have been delusional in thinking it didn't mean anything. As confident as I am about my feeling for Steve, it doesn't mean that he's wrong for being cautious or for hurting when he sees me keep going back to him.

"You're right." I say with a nod. "And I'm sorry." I bring my hands up, sliding them up his neck and into his hair. "I don't want to hurt you anymore." I lean in until our foreheads touch. "I love you so much."

"I love you more." he says bringing his face closer so that our noses graze against each other.

"Debat–"

He puts his thumb against my lips, cutting me off and I can't help but smile. He takes his thumb off, but only so he can lean in and replace it with his lips. It's a soft and gentle kiss, meant to simply mend our relationship and let us both know that things are going to be okay.

With one final swift kiss Steve pulls away, sliding his hands down my arms and to my thighs. "I think Loki should stay."

"What?!" I say, and if I wasn't already sitting the shock would have knocked me on my ass.

Steve presses his lips together to contain the laughter as he tries to compose himself. "Like I said, I support the help you're trying to give him, and now that we've talked about it and you acknowledged the effect he has on you, I think it will help you see it more when it happens. Which makes me feel better about the whole thing."

I give him an uneasy look. It's not that I don't trust him, I'm just afraid he might be lying to himself just to give me what I want. Something I don't want him to feel like he needs to do.

Steve definitely catches onto the look I give him and he takes a deep breath. "We're being honest with each other right?" he asks, reaching up to push a strand of hair behind my ear. I smile as I nod my head. "Okay, then I am honestly telling you that I'm okay. And that I'll do what I can to help with the whole Loki thing."

I take a shaky breath, never understanding what I did for life to gift me this man's love. "I don't deserve you." I say as I look into his beautiful blue eyes. He opens his mouth to contest that statement but I just lean in and close my mouth over his. I feel him smile against my lips as he happily just starts kissing me.

His hands slide up my thighs and towards my back pulling my body until I'm on the very edge of the counter. I wrap my legs around him, feeling closer to him than ever.

"Well..." Steve says in between kisses. "...now that we've talked it out..." his hand comes up and he grips the back of my neck. "...is it too soon to ask for the make-up sex?"

I can't help but giggle as I put my arms around his neck, glad that he asked because I was just about to. His hands slide down to my thighs and he grips hard, ready to pick me up and lift me off the counter.

"Oh for fucks sake." we hear someone say, and I immediately push Steve away from me and hop off the counter, feeling like a teenager getting caught with her boyfriend...by her dad.

I turn around as I feel a slight blush come across my cheeks as I see Tony's face, looking like he's either going to be sick, or he's going to kill Steve, and then be sick.

He looks between both of us as he lets out a frustrated breath through his nose. "You each have your own room and yet you decide to do this out here in the open."

"I mean we were just about to head there." Steve mumbles under his breath, and I reach back to elbow him in the stomach, needing him to just shut up.

Judging by the annoyed look Tony gives him, I'm pretty sure he heard that. "I'm going to try and forget I ever saw any of this because there are more pressing matters to attend to right now." he says, and can see the annoyance being overtaken by concern.

"What's going on?" I ask, taking a step towards him.

"I got a call from Fury," he says as he gives me a cautious look "He wants to see you."

Great...I'm in trouble with the boss. "About the Loki thing." I say, not surprised that he already heard about everything.

"No," Tony says as he lightly shakes his head. "Although I'm sure that's going to come up."

Well now I'm confused and scared. "Then what did he call about?" I ask, and I feel Steve put a hand on my back, his touch bringing immediate comfort.

Tony hesitates, almost like he doesn't want to say it, which only makes me more nervous. "John Hardin."

I cold shiver runs down my entire body and I try to stop my mind from running through all the worst case scenarios. "What about him?" I ask as calmly as I can. "Is everything okay? Did they get information about him?" I start to panic a bit, and I feel Steve press his fingers into my skin, as if trying to remind me that he's right here with me.

Tony puts his hand up, also trying to keep me calm. "He didn't give me any specifics, but it doesn't sound like anything bad. He just said he wants you over there."

I nod, as I take a deep breath, trying to remain level headed. "Okay, I'll head over."

"Take Rogers with you." Tony says, still looking a little concerned over my reaction. "You shouldn't go alone. I would have gone with you but I'm meeting up with Bruce to work on the ankle monitor for the god of 'being-a-pain-in-my-ass'."

He chuckles, trying to play it off as a joke, but I can see the truth behind it. I know what Tony has gone through because of Loki, and I know how easy it would be for him to just say no to any of this. And without his support none of this would be able to happen. But he's letting it go, for me. 

I walk towards him, and he gives me a curious glance until I wrap my arms around him and give him a big hug. "Thank you." I say as I squeeze him tight. "I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you're doing for me."

I feel Tony bring his arms around my waist, gladly return my hug. "I'd do anything for you kid. You know that right?" he says before leaning back and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"When I get back I'll help you and Bruce fine tune the ankle monitor." I say, and I can see there's still a bit of concern reflected on his face. "This is going to work Tony."

"You have that much faith in him?" he asks with a questioning glance.

"I have that much faith in you." I reply.

I can see a moment of disbelief cross his face, and it breaks my heart to think he would actually be surprised to hear someone say that about him, especially considering the persona he projects to everyone. He gives me a soft smile as he lets out a deep sigh. "Alright, the jet's waiting for you two." he says, clearly trying to get rid of us before he gets emotional.

I give him a pat on the arm as I look back at Steve, seeing him already come towards me.

"I just need a quick shower before we go." Steve says, looking down at his shirt. I give him a flirty smile, hoping that he'll let me join him.

But before I can even ask Tony puts his hand on my shoulder and shoves me away from him. "Alright great she'll be waiting bye." he quickly says and Steve and I can't help but burst out in laughter as Steve walks away and heads back towards his room. Meanwhile Tony and I have a quick father/daughter breakfast together.

Within twenty minute Steve is back down and ready.

As we walk towards the hangar I catch Steve up on where things are regarding John and Stacy. Since it was Bucky who came with me last time, he didn't get to see the interaction I had with both of them. It's a little strange to explain to him how I'm vouching for Stacy, especially considering he nearly died because of her. But he listens with compassion. He trusts me when I say that I think Stacy needs help. I don't know if it's because of the whole Loki thing that he's trying to be more understanding. But I definitely appreciate it. John on the other hand he has no sympathy for, but I'm not too concerned about that.

By the time we get to the hangar he's all caught up and we quickly fill out the needed paperwork. We walk towards our designated quinjet, which is the one we usually end up using. We're finishing up a few details when suddenly someone comes running up behind me and sliding to a stop beside us.

"Bucky?" I ask, completely shocked to see him. We haven't talked, actually I haven't even seen him since Loki arrived, but I can't imagine he would want to be around that, or me considering how against it all he was. Which is why it's so bizarre that he's here, looking like he was trying to catch us before we left. And the whole thing starts to worry me a little.

"Is everything alright?" Steve says, clearly just as confused and concerned as I am.

Bucky looks between Steve and I as he tries to catch his breath. "Yeah..." he says before shaking his head, looking almost embarrassed. "I heard you were going to go see.." He stops and it's clear he doesn't know what to say. "I didn't know if you were..." He clears his throat and no longer looks at me. "But, Steve's with you so..."

And then it all clicks into place. He went with me the last time I talked to John. He saw how difficult it was. And he wanted to make sure I didn't go alone.

"Bucky..." I say, feeling the first amount of affection from him since all of this happened.

But he takes off before I can say anything else, running away as quickly as he came in. I feel the pain hit me as I turn towards Steve, scared that I'll never get my best friend back.

"Hey." Steve says as he pulls me towards him. He puts his arms around me and rubs his hand up and down my back. "It's okay."

I take a deep breath in and out as I lean into his comforting hug. "I miss him." I say, knowing just these past few days have been so much harder without his support.

"I know, baby." Steve says as he kisses the top of my head. "He misses you too." he pulls back as he brings his hands to my cheek. "He won't say it but I know he does. The fact that he came to make sure you didn't go alone shows he still cares about you. Just give him time."

"Has he talked to you about this?" I ask, wishing I knew at least if he's calmed down about the whole situation. Steve presses his lips together and I can tell from his facial expression alone that he has, but it's not something I really want to hear right now. "Nevermind, don't tell me. It hurts as it is."

"It's going to be okay." he says as he slides his hand into mine and interlocks our fingers.

He leads us up the ramp and over to the pilot's chairs. We get into position, starting up the quinjet and pretty soon we're up in the air, putting on the auto-pilot mode.

"Hm." Steve says, and I turn towards him and give him a curious glance. I find him starting at the control panel for a few seconds before leaning forward and shutting off the video and audio recording. He looks over at me, and chuckles at the confused expression I give him. "What?" he innocently asks, "Everytime we got on a quinjet together we always turned them off, it felt weird to keep them on."

I can't help but laugh at his logic, but I guess he's not wrong. It's then that I realize we haven't been on a quinjet alone together since we went public, and it almost feels weird to be here and not have this looming fear of getting caught. I guess he felt the same, which is why he turned off the recording.

"Do you remember the first flight to D.C. that we had together?" he says, as he looks over at me.

I smile, knowing it's not something I can ever forget. "You mean when you lost two hundred dollars after Bucky and I won our bet."

"That's the memory you associate with that day?" he scoffs. "Not the hot make out session or nearly having sex for the first time?"

I shrug, knowing he hates to lose just as much as I like to win. "Beating you is always a highlight of my days." I tease.

Henarrows his gaze in a disapproving look, but ultimately chuckles. "Do you remember getting interrupted by one Agent Michael Wilson."

How could I forget? If we hadn't been interrupted we probably would have had sex that day, and after crossing that threshold I don't think Steve and I would have been able to just stay friends that easily. Who knows what would have happened. "You know I ended up telling him what he interrupted that day." I say, remembering the night he, his girlfriend Gina, and I hung out and had a few drinks. I told both of them what happened on the quinjet, and more importantly what didn't happen when Michael called in to get our clearance. A story that both of them found hilarious. "He said to tell you he was sorry for cockblocking."

Steve throws his head back as his joyous laughter fills the quinjet. "Well tell him he's forgiven." he says with a smile. "Did you tell him how you flirted with him on purpose to make me jealous?"

My mouth drops open as I gape at him with disbelief. "I did not flirt with him to make you jealous!"

"Oh please, Mia." Steve says with a chuckle. "You even went on a date with him just to get to me."

I turn my seat to face him, ready to give him my full wrath. "First of all, I never said it was a date, he said that." I clarify, remembering that I was just as shocked as he was to hear Michael call our trip to an ice-cream shop a date. "Second of all, I was the one who said we needed to stop what was happening between us. Why would I try to make you jealous when all I wanted was to just be friends." I didn't actually want that, but at the time I had convinced myself that it was for the best.

Steve turns his own seat and leans forward. "Because you didn't actually want to be friends and you like seeing me jealous."

I mean...he's not wrong.

It is kind of hot seeing him get possessive of me, and I have been known to say or do little things to get him slightly fired up. But the Michael thing is totally in his head. He got jealous on his own, despite the fact that we weren't even dating then. I was oblivious to Michael's feelings until he openly told me he was interested. And if I really wanted to make Steve jealous with him I would have.

Steve watches me as he leans back in his chair. "Admit it Mia, you flirted with him to make me jealous."

"I'm not admitting anything." I say with a defiant laugh.

"It's okay, there's no shame." Steve says ith a lift of his eyebrow. "It all worked out in the end."

I shake my head, not appreciating his condescending tone. "I know there's no shame because I didn't do anything."

"Just admit it Mia." he says, and I can tell he's getting a little impatient.

"No." I reply, kind of liking this game.

"Admit it."

"No."

"Mia"

"Steve."

"Admit it." he says, and it's no longer an ask, it's a command.

I can't help but chuckle as I roll my eyes. "Or what?" I say, challenging him in a way I know he's not going to like.

I see Steve tighten his jaw as he gives me a dark look. He unbuckles his seat belt and stands up, towering over me. He comes down, his hands gripping my armrests as he leans over me. I'm trying to keep myself calm, making sure that despite the fact that he's standing over me, I keep the upper hand on this. But I'm damn near squirming in my chair, his dominant attitude making me feel all kinds of things. 

"Last chance Connors." Steve says, and it's clear he's only going to ask me nicely one last time. "Admit it."

I take a deep breath, allowing my breast to rise closer to his face as I run my tongue along my bottom lip before dragging it through my teeth. "Make me."

Before I even realize his movement, his hand is already at my hips, unbuckling my seat belt before pulling me up to my feet. I let out yelp as I'm dragged from the cockpit and pushed back until I feel the wall of the quinjet hit my back. Steve's mouth covers mine before I get a chance to even take a breath. His kisses are hard, rough...punishing. And it's clear he's taking no mercy.

My hands come up to his chest, fisting his shirt as I pull him closer. His hands though, aren't on me, and instead I feel him shifting things behind me.

"What are you–"

He crashes his lips onto mine, and without even speaking he just gave me a very clear command.

Shut up.

I feel his hands grab both of mine, one of which is also gripping something else. I feel something wrap around my wrist before suddenly they're both yanked up. I gasp in shock and don't even fully process what he's doing when my hands end up on either side of the safety bar above us. Steve backs away and it isn't until I try to put my arms down that I realize what he's done.

"Seriously?" I ask as I look up at my wrist now bound together and the tether placed over the bar, essentially tying my hands up. "What are you going to do? Keep me tied up here till I say what you want me to say?"

He comes back towards me as his eyes roam up and down my entire body, and I already know he likes the sight of me tied up. "Of course not." he says as his hands come up to my chest. "I'm going to have some fun first." he teases as he grabs the zipper of my jacket and starts pulling it down.

He wouldn't?

"This isn't a long flight." I say with a shaky voice, both nervous and excited for what he has in mind.

Steve gives me a devilish grin as he opens up my jacket, and then brings his fingers back up and starts toying with the buttons of my shirt. "Well then you better tell me what I want to hear." he says and then starts undoing my buttons.

Oh fuck he would.

I nervously pull on my cuffs, hearing the tether clang against the metal of the bar. How did he even get these on the ship?

"What are you going to do if I don't?" I ask him, still trying to seem playful and not show how nervous I'm getting. "You can land this plane alone, but it's going to be a little awkward if you go down that ramp and I'm still tied up here."

Steve finishes the last button and pulls apart my shirt exposing my bra to him. Obviously since my hands are tied he can't take it off me, but he doesn't seem to mind. His hands immediately run across my bare skin, sending a shiver through my entire body.

"That would be awkward." he says with a smirk, making clear that it's my problem to fix. He brings himself down to his knees in front of me as his hands come up to the waistband of my jeans.

I'm already squirming with anticipation even though I can't believe he's really doing this right now. He roughly pulls down my jeans, underwear and all. He doesn't even bother to untie my shoes, just slides everything off until I'm left completely naked from the waist down. "I still don't know how you plan on making me say something that I won't." I tease as I watch him get to his feet.

"Easy." he says as his hands come down to undo his belt. "I'm going to fuck the truth out of you."

Holy shit! His words alone have me practically dripping as I watch him free himself from his pants, already hard and ready. He comes towards me and I can see the dark desire in his eyes. We've both been fantasizing about this ever since the first time it nearly happened. Honestly I think we've been fantasizing about this ever since the first quinjet ride we took. God knows I definitely wanted him to rip my clothes off instead of fix my holster.

But he can't seriously think this "punishment" is enough to make me say I purposely flirted with–

Oh fuck! My thoughts are completely taken out of my mind when Steve cups my sex and runs a finger in between my folds causing my body to arch and pull against my restraints.

"Always so wet for me." he whispers against my ear before suddenly bending down to grab the back of my knee, hiking my leg up around his hip and opening me up to him. Before I can even think of a smart comeback he pushes himself inside of me, causing both of us to let out a gasp.

I will seriously never get tired of this.

Steve leans his head down and starts running his lips along my neck as I feel his hands start to slide up my body. I keep my leg wrapped around him, trying to push against him as much as I can to get him deeper. I feel him caress up my arm until he can cover my hands with his as he starts guiding them until he can wrap them around the safety bar.

"Hold on tight." he says, before suddenly dropping his hands to my thigh and gripping tight until he can pick me up off the ground. I can feel my fingers start to slip as he lifts me up and then roughly brings me down onto him. I let out a loud moan as I try to regain my grip on the bar. I barely manage to secure myself when Steve starts to pound into me.

I throw my head back as I'm hit with shock after shock of pleasure as I desperately clutch onto the bar above me. Steve is absolutely ruthless as he thrusts into me, all while pulling me down onto him, making sure he hits as deep as possible. I can barely take in a breath before it comes back out as a moan, all while hearing Steve grunt with every push inside me.

"Fuck yes! Steve!" I pant out, feeling my entire body tensing up.

"Does it feel good?" Steve asks as he slightly picks up the pace.

"So good." I reply, and I instinctively want to reach down and touch him before remembering that I need to continue to hold myself up.

"Good enough to make you admit it?" he says with a confident tone.

I let out a few amused gasps, unable to breath enough to actually laugh. "And make...make this stop?" I say, with a chuckle. "Yeah right."

I feel Steve tighten his grip on my hips before suddenly pulling back and then thrusting into me...hard.

I completely lose my hold on the bar and slip down, feeling a tight pull and the chain as it holds me up. Steve holds me up, making sure I don't feel too much of a strain on my wrist. But now he's changing up his tactics. He slowly pulls back, letting me really feel him slipping out of me, before slamming into me.

I cry out, feeling so much pleasure, and even a little bit of pain; but it's the sweet delicious pain that this man knows I crave from time to time. He does it again, a slow agonizing retreat before hitting me with a hard merciless thrust.

I clutch onto the chain of my restrains, unable to pull myself back up to the bar but needing to hold onto something as he continues to torture me with his movements.

"Steve..." I beg, needing more. This feels good...So. Fucking. Good. But my body is begging for release and the slow then hard thrusts aren't enough to push me over the edge.

But of course he knows that. And I'm pretty sure that's his point.

"Steve please!" I whimper as he repeats the movements.

"Give me what I want Mia." he says with a shaky voice, and I can tell it's taking so much restraint for him not to go hard and fast until we both come. But if he wants to play this game, I can play it too.

I get my hands back on the bar and bring my face forward, locking my gaze with his. I can see the curiosity in his eyes as he pulls back and then pushes into me hard. I don't hold back, letting him clearly hear how good it feels but this time I keep my eyes on him the entire time. He needs to know he's going to have to do a lot better than that to make me say something that I honestly don't believe to be true.

Steve smiles once he sees I'm not giving up that easily. He leans in, running his lips against my jaw as he moves them towards my ear.

"So stubborn." he whispers, before suddenly pulling completely out of me and dropping my legs. I let out a surprised yelp as I clutch onto the bar, losing my balance for a moment before I stabilize my feet on the ground.

Steve comes towards me, and I can see a slight annoyance on his face. He brings his hands up until he can reach my handcuffs. I watch him with a huge smirk on my face as I feel him unhook the middle latch, allowing me to bring my arms down. They feel so heavy and I can tell they're going to be sore later.

"You might want to wipe that grin off." Steve says as he reaches up and grabs onto my chin. "I'm not done with you yet." He pulls my face towards him and gives me a rough kiss as he grabs onto my shirt and jacket, sliding them both down my arms.

I barely get a chance to put my hands on his chest when pulls away then turns me around. He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me forward. I stumble and have to catch myself on the arms rest of the pilots chairs as I'm bent over the gap between both seats.

Oh...smooth motherfucker.

My mind goes back to that quinjet ride as I realize he's just putting me in the positions we were in before. I remember when I was bent over just like this as I replied to Michael's call on the comms. I feel Steve come up behind me, just like last time, only this time, as opposed to feeling his hard cock through both of our pants, I feel it fully out as it presses against my bare ass.

He doesn't wait too long before lifting my hips and placing himself at my entrance. I don't even wait for him to make the move, I push back against him, letting out a moan as I feel him slide inside of me.

But Steve has something else in mind. He grabs onto my hips, making sure he's in complete control as he starts pumping into me, hard and fast. I grip onto the armrest to stop myself from falling forward as he pounds into me.

"F-fuck Mia." Steve grunts out as his hands grip me tight. "Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting to get you like this." he says, his breathing ragged and deep. "So...fucking...good."

This is more like it. I don't know if he forgot his point of this whole thing but I definitely don't care. I'm losing my damn mind as he keeps hitting me so deep I'm seeing stars. Every thrust of his hips making us both moan and I can feel things building, and building and–

"Chtt..."

No...fucking...way.

"Sh-shit." I say as I feel my orgasm die out, but it doesn't completely go away because Steve doesn't stop. And I can't tell if he just didn't hear the radio signal, or he just doesn't care.

"Agent Michael Wilson calling in from the S.H.I.E.L.D. hangar in D.C. to quinjet 409, requesting confirmation."

Of course it's fucking Michael. Why wouldn't it be the exact person Steve was just punishing me for.

And I can tell he definitely did hear Michael's voice, because I feel him start to push into me harder. "Steve!" I cry out, both in pleasure and in concern because he should be stopping now that we have to descend soon.

Steve gives me one hard thrust before stopping to speak. "Answer it." he grits through his teeth and then starts pushing into me again.

"What?!" I gasp out, clutching the arm rest as I feel the pleasure building again. "Are y-you insane?"

He is still fucking the shit out of me and he wants me to respond to a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?!

"Quinjet 409?" Michael repeats, clearly wondering why we're taking so long. "Mia?" he asks, and it's clear he knows I'm the one landing.

With one hand still holding my hips for leverage Steve slides the other up my back as he leans forward, his body sliding against mine as he continues to push into me. "You better answer him Mia, before they start to worry." he whispers into my ear before standing back up.

I bring a shaky hand up to the button and try to regulate my breathing enough to not sound like I'm in the middle of exactly what I'm doing. But suddenly Steve still his hips, giving me a chance to respond.

"Mia Connors aboard quinjet 409, confirming our landing–"

I barely manage to finish the word and let go of the response button when I gasp out as Steve starts slamming his hips into me again. I bite down on my lower lip as I groan, knowing I should be embarrassed that Michael might have heard that, but the only thing going through my mind right now is pure pleasure.

"Copy that Miss Connors." Michael replies. "Looking forward to catching up, it's been a while."

Oh...this is too good an opportunity to pass up.

Steve steadies his hips to allow me to reply, but I can feel his fingers digging into my skin.

"Too long, Michael." I say with a sweet tone. "I missed you and Gina, can't wait to see you guys–"

My finger falls off the button as I'm pushed forward, and I can tell Steve does not like what I'm doing right now. I try hard to muffle the laughter, but it is quickly fucked out of me.

"She's waiting for you in the hangar as we speak." Michael says, and I'm pretty sure he's unaware of what's going on here.

I look back towards Steve, waiting for him to stop his movements so I can speak. But instead he gives me a smirk and doesn't stop, just slows down his hips. Pulling out of me slowly before slipping back in. It's clear he wants me to talk to Michael while his cock slowly claims what's his.

Fine Rogers...let's play.

"The three of us should go to that ice-cream shop where we had our first date."

I feel a hard slap on my ass and I can only hope that I let go of the response button in time.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He grits through his teeth, thrust getting a little more aggressive. I'm clutching onto the arm rest so tight my knuckles are turning white and it's hard not to let out a moan every time he hits me deep.

"Gina loves that spot, I'm sure she'd be in." Michael says, clearly oblivious to what Steve and I are doing.

"Great. See you soon." I say, speeding through the words because Steve didn't even slow down for me this time. As soon as the transmission ends Steve grabs onto my hips and starts pushing and pulling me against him while he continues to thrust into me, our bodies hitting each other so hard it's nearly painful.

"Fuck Steve." I moan out. "Please." I beg. "Please make me come." Although it's hard to think about anything other than the pleasure that comes from every thrust, in the back of my mind I also remember that we need to land this plane soon.

"You fucking love this don't you?" Steve says as he continues to bury himself deep inside of me. "You love it when I fuck you hard."

"God yes!" I cry out as I start pushing back against him.

Steve groans as his hands come down to grab handfuls of my ass as he continues to push against me. "You like making me jealous so that I show you who you belong to?"

"Yes!" I say, knowing there's no denying that teasing him and getting him worked up usually ends with some of the best orgasms of my life.

"That's why you flirted with Michael isn't it?" he grits through his teeth. "Twice now."

No! I don't want to let him win! But I'm so desperate for release that it literally hurts. He knows my body so well that he knows exactly how to prolong this pleasure without pushing me over the edge.

"Say it Mia." he says with a grunt. He's holding back but I can tell he's just as close as I am. "Admit it." he orders.

"F-fuck." I whimper, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

Steve leans forward, sliding his hand up my back and into my hair, grabbing a fistful and gently tugging my head back. "Say it Mia." he growls as he angles himself to hit just the right spot.

"Fuck! Fine! Yes! Yes! Yes!" I cry out, knowing I'll admit to almost anything in order for him to give me what I need.

"God dammit, finally!" Steve groans out as I feel his arm come around my waist and pull me up. My back presses against him and he continues to pound into me as his other hand dips down in between my legs.

The second his fingers touch my clit I come so hard I completely lose the strength in my legs. Steve clutches me to his body and it's the only thing keeping me from falling as he rubs circles around my clit. I squeeze around him as my orgasm seems to go on forever. Steve buries his face in my neck and I feel him pulse inside of me, his grunts and moans muffled against my skin. I grind against him a few more times, both of us riding out our orgasms for as long as we can.

Suddenly a beeping on the control panel pulls both of us from our foggy post-sex haze. We both look up and see that we've pushed the limit on when we can take off the auto-pilot and we need to start our descent now.

"Sh-shit." I stutter out as I pull Steve's arms away from me, unfortunately my legs still aren't stable enough to hold me up and I end up falling to the ground.

"Mia!" Steve says as he starts to reach for me.

"Land the plane!" I say as I hold my hand out to keep him away.

"But–"

"Steve!" I cry out. "Put your dick back in your pants and land this damn plane!" I yell, but can't help but chuckle at the embarrassing situation we've put ourselves in.

Steve hesitates for a moment, but then does as he's told, slipping himself back into his underwear and pants before rushing over to get into the pilot's seat.

I fall back on the floor, giving myself a few seconds to fully catch my breath. I try but fail to hold in a fit of laughter that catches Steve's attention.

"Is this funny?" he asks, as his hands press buttons to prepare for landing.

"Um, yeah, kind of." I say as I look up at him. He shakes his head, but I see a hint of a smile on his lips.

I sit up, realizing I need to get dressed before we land. The last thing I want is for everyone to know what Steve and I were doing in here. Come to think of it, I should probably spray something to get the smell of sex out of the air.

"Hold tight." Steve says as he starts to bring the plane down.

I keep as much balance as I can while I take off the handcuffs and start slipping my underwear back on. I grab onto the nearby seat and pull myself up, giving myself some form of stability as I put my shirt on and start buttoning up, followed by my pants. Once I'm dressed again I find the secret compartment most quinjets have. A few of us, mainly female agents, agreed to put a special emergency kit with items that are sometimes needed, but not going to be in any regular kits S.H.I.E.L.D. would provide on the plane. Things like tampons, pads, wet wipes, hair ties and the main thing I was looking for, some air freshener. I spray it around even though I don't think anyone is going to come in here while we're in D.C. I don't want to risk it.

Although...if someone does come in here and it smells like I tried to cover something up, that's going to be suspicious.

I put the spray away, trying not to freak myself out and overthink it. I take the handcuffs, not really sure where Steve exactly had these, but I hide them away for now.

I grip onto the seat as I feel the quinjet make its final descent and then hit the ground. Steve quickly shuts down the jet and I slip my jacket back on as we both get up and head towards the back. As we wait for clearance to lower the ramp Steve turns me to face him as his hands come up to grip both ends of my jacket. I look up at him, catching a sly smile on his face and I know he's remembering the first time we were on a quinjet together, when he adjusted my holster. Just for good measure he tugs me towards him, and I stumble forward while giving him an annoyed glare.

He lets out an amused chuckle as he brings together the bottom ends of my jacket before zipping it up. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you during that first quinjet ride." he says, as he brings his hands down to my waist, wrapping them around me and pulling me closer.

"You should have." I say, remembering how badly I wanted him to. "I would have let you."

"Yeah?" Steve asks, as a cocky little smirk comes across his face.

Normally I'd bring him down a notch, but I'm in a playful mood after what we just did.

"Honestly...I probably would have let you do a lot more than just kiss me." I say.

Steve lets out a frustrated groan as his hands slide lower, until he can slide them into my back pockets. "I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life."

I can't help but laugh as I wrap my arms around his neck. "Well, you made up for it today." I say, as I lean up until I can press my lips against his. I feel him smile as he brings his hands to my neck, keeping me in place as we hold a long kiss.

"Clear" someone shouts from outside, giving us our cue to lower the ramp.

I immediately feel Steve frown against my lips as he turns around and pushes the button to open the quinjet. I chuckle as we turn to face the ramp, waiting for it to fully lower.

I see Maria Hill's face come into view as she waits for us on the floor. I just saw her yesterday during my first visit with Loki, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her. I actually haven't talked to her at all since the Loki thing came out, and I don't really know how she feels about the whole situation.

I'm a little nervous as we walk down the ramp, but then I see Maria give me a soft smile, and I can feel my body loosen as I realize she's not completely upset with me. I walk towards her as Steve heads to fill out the quinjet paperwork and as soon as she's within reach I bring my arms around her and pull her into a hug.

"It's nice to see you too." she says, and while she hugs me back, and I know she can tell something is off.

"I'm sorry." I say, apologizing for being so forward. "I just thought..." I pause, wondering if I should even bring it up.

"That I would be mad at you?" she says, finishing my sentence. She pulls back and gives me a sympathetic glance. "Look don't get me wrong I'm...concerned. But I know there's aspects of this whole thing that only you know about because you have a history with him. So it would be unfair for me to judge you for it."

I can't help but smile, even though I feel terrible for underestimating her compassion. But I haven't exactly been great at predicting the reactions that everyone was going to have. Most of the people I would assume would hate me for this have been understanding. And some people, one in particular, who I thought would back me up, will hardly even speak to me anymore.

Although, I do have some slight hope for our friendship after what happened before we left this morning.

"Chin up Connors." Maria says, as she literally lifts my chin with her finger. "You're doing good." she assures me and I can't help but let out a breath of relief.

"Easy Hill." Steve says as he approaches us now that he's done with the paperwork. "Don't forget she's taken."

Maria and I both roll our eyes at him. "Relax Rogers." she says as she walks towards him and pats him on the shoulder. "If I wanted to take her from you, you wouldn't stand a chance."

I press my lips together as I let out a soft groan. "So hot." I say, and Steve turns to give me a look that clearly says I'm in trouble when we get home.

"Mia!" someone shouts out, and I turn to see both Gina and Michael coming towards us. I embrace both of them in a hug, giving Steve a teasing glare as I do, and he lightly shakes his head, but ultimately cracks a smile.

"Captain Rogers." Michael says as he steps over to give him a handshake. "I didn't even realize you were with her." He looks over at me giving me a curious glance and I'm sure it's because of the fact that I alone answered him on the quinjet, and because of the comment I made about our first date.

"I'm here for moral support." he says as he looks over at me.

"Well, it's good to see you both." Michael says, putting his arm around his girlfriend.

"You too." I reply. They weren't here the past two times I came, so this is the first I've seen them since I came back from London.

"How are you?" Gina asks me, in a very nonchalant tone.

I hesitate answering, because I can't get a full read on her. "I can't tell if you're asking because you know or because you don't know."

"Obviously we know, everyone knows." Michael says, a half-mumble under his breath.

Gina brings her elbow back, hitting her boyfriend in the stomach to shut him up. I think back to early today when I did the same thing to Steve and I can't help but smile at the fact that we both have boyfriends who don't know when to keep their thoughts to themselves.

"You know we support you through all of this." Gina says as she gives me a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah of course." Micahel says looking a little guilty. "I didn't mean...I wasn't trying to be condescending, I just meant..."

"Just shut up babe." Gina says as she shakes her head.

I press my lips together to hold in a laugh. They really are perfect for each other.

"I appreciate it." I say looking at both of them. "Thank you."

Gina claps her hands together, breaking the sour mood between us. "So I hear we're getting ice-cream?" she says with an excited smile.

"Yes!/No!" Steve and I say at the same time.

Gina and Michael both furrow their brows, wondering why Steve is so opposed to it.

Steve nervously clears his throat, and it's clear that his response came out before he could even fully think about it.

I can see a slight realization come over Gina's face as she looks over at Steve. "Do you not want to because it's the same place Michael and Mia had their first date?"

My hand comes over my mouth as I try to stifle my laughter, but it manages to slightly escape. Maria's eyes go wide, this obviously all news to her. Michael turns his head away, trying to hide his smile.

Steve clears his throat again and I see a bit of a blush coming across his cheeks. "You know about that?" he asks nervously.

"Of course." Gina replies. "We don't keep secrets from each other."

I feel a twinge of guilt, because Steve and I should be that way too. But I know there's one...two secrets that I've been keeping from him. I shouldn't, but nothing good would come from telling him. So there's no point in torturing him with information that doesn't matter anymore.

"As entertaining as this all is..." Maria says with an amused smile as she turns towards me. "Fury is waiting for you."

Shit that's right. I almost forgot the whole reason we were summoned here.

Gina and Michael straighten up, as if they're reminding themselves they're technically at work right now. "We'll catch up later." Gina says, and Michael gives us a small nod as they both head back towards the building.

Steve and I take a small breath before turning towards Maria and waiting for her to lead us to Fury.

She looks between the both of us and I can see an uneasy look on her face. "Just Mia." she says, looking a little apologetic.

We're both taken aback, wondering what possible issue there could be for Steve to come with me. Bucky came with me last time...

Oh, maybe that's why. He wasn't exactly the best behaved.

"No, I'm going with her." Steve says. "She can't see John on her own."

Maria puts her hand up to attempt to calm Steve down before he gets too defensive of me. "Relax Steve, she's not going to see him. But if that changes we'll find you before we send her in."

But...Tony said.

Well, I guess he technically didn't say they wanted me to speak to John again, that's just what I assumed. "So then why am I here?" I ask, getting a little nervous.

"Fury wants to talk." Maria says, and she seems calm enough that it makes me think maybe it's not anything too serious.

"No offense but has Fury never heard of a phone?" I say, knowing that we didn't need to fly over here if all he wants is to talk to me.

Although, I guess I'm not entirely upset that Steve and I took this trip together. Even if I only have a five minute conversation with Fury, the plane ride alone was worth it.

"He reads people better face to face." Maria says, and suddenly I feel like I actually am in trouble.

"Not nerve racking at all." I say, wishing more than ever that Steve could be with me in the meeting.

"Relax." Maria says. "I'll be there with you."

Steve shakes his head, looking both confused and a little frustrated. "So then why can't I be there with her?" he asks, voicing my exact thoughts.

"Because Fury doesn't trust her to be completely honest with you around."

Woah. That's...unexpected.

"What?" Steve asks, and he looks over at me, wondering if I understand why she would say that. But I'm just as confused as he is.

"That's ridiculous." I say. "Steve's presence isn't going to make me dishonest." Why would Fury even have that idea in his head?

Maria takes a breath, clearly seeing that the comment did not sit well with us. "No but it will filter your answers."

What?...well...shit. I can see why he would say that. Maybe it wouldn't matter if all we talk about is John, but If he is going to ask me about Loki with Steve in the room then I would definitely be careful about what I say so that I don't hurt him unnecessarily. 

"It's not a bad thing." Maria says in a compassionate voice. "I'm not accusing you of anything. Everyone filters what they say depending on the present company. But Fury needs complete honesty from you." she says, making it clear how important this is.

"I understand." I say, not wanting her to feel guilty about this. I turn to look at Steve and despite the fact that he isn't too happy about it, he lets out a deep sigh before nodding his head.

"I'm sorry that you came here for nothing." I say, feeling a little guilty about it.

"I'm not." he says with a sly smile. "And I can still make good use of my time here. I think I'll look around here and see if I can't find anything that might help Tony and Bruce with the situation back home."

I smile, glad that he'll have something to keep busy with. And I'm also grateful that he wants to help with Loki.

"Okay." I say, still hating that we have to separate. "I'll call you when I'm done."

He nods and then steps toward me, leaning in and giving me a quick soft kiss goodbye.

We walk in two different directions and I immediately feel more nervous about this now that I don't have him by my side. But as intimidating as Fury can be, after everything that's happened I feel like we've established a relationship of mutual respect.

We reach the elevator and Maria presses the button to take us up. Once inside, since I already know where Fury's office is, having broken into it before, I reach over and press on the button for the 7th floor.

Suddenly Maria grabs onto my arm and pulls it up towards her, her face full of shock and anger. With my sleeve pulled slightly down it's very clear what it was that caught her attention. It's the red slightly swollen mark around my wrist.

Shit.

I can feel my cheeks get hot as I try to hide a smile, not sure how to explain that they're marks from my pulling on handcuffs a little too tightly.

While Maria and I haven't ever really been shy when it comes to sex talk, we're also usually kind of buzzed when it happens.

"That blush better be because it's sex related, or else I'm going to have to kick Steve's ass." Maria says, and it's clear from the anger in her eyes that she thinks Steve hurt me, and not in a good way.

"Oh my god." I say as I pull my arm away from her grasp. "It's not like that." I chuckle, feeling my cheeks get even hotter. "Trust me it was..." I clear my throat and look, not knowing what words to even use. When I turn back to Maria the mischievous look in her eyes tells me she understands what I mean.

"It looks...new." she says, clear insinuation in her tone.

I press my lips together to try and hold a smile. "It is."

Maria is also trying hard not to smile, but she's failing miserably. "Do I need to send a cleaning crew into the quinjet?" she teases.

"No!" I say, knowing I'd be massively embarrassed if that were the case. "We stood up the whole time....well he stood up, I was...in various positions."

Oh god. I cannot believe I'm talking to her about this.

"Good for you." Maria says, seeming genuinely impressed and I can't help but chuckle.

"Please don't tell anyone." I say, although I don't think she would.

"No! Of course not." she firmly says. "I like Steve. I don't want to be the reason Tony kills him."

And that's what does it, we finally both burst out laughing just as the elevator doors open up. Maria gives me a clap on the back as she moves me forward, out of the elevator and towards the end of the hall.

"If it makes you feel any better." she says once we've both stopped laughing. "You two are definitely not the first ones to ever do that."

What?! My head snaps in her direction as I look at her with wide eyes.

"Not me." she clarifies. "Not that I wouldn't, I just haven't" she says with a smile. "But I've heard stories of others."

Now I'm curious as to who. I want to ask, but I know that would be inappropriate. I want her to keep my secret so I should respect the secrets of others. But even though I don't know who exactly it was, I do feel slightly less embarrassed knowing we aren't the only ones who have done it.

We reach Fury's office and we see him looking over some files on his desk before looking up and finding up outside. He presses a button on his desk that unlocks his door. We step through and he doesn't bother to put away the files, making me feel like they're about John.

"Connors." Fury says, bringing my gaze up from his table.

"Fury." I say with a nod. "You have me a little worried. Is everything okay with John and Stacy?" I ask, deciding to just get to it.

"Well..." he says, unsure of how to answer. "Could be better, could be worse." He signals to the chair near him and I step forward to take a seat. Maria heads over to the opposite side of the table and Fury takes a seat at the end, facing both of us. I look down at the table and take a quick glance at the files. They seem to just be progress reports on John's interrogations, of which there are a lot.

"It's only been a few days." I say as I slide the papers along the table.

"And the longer we take to get information out of him, the longer the real threat is out there." Fury says, and I can tell he's getting frustrated with the situation.

"Do you want me to talk to him again?" I ask, not really wanting to but knowing I will if I have to.

"No." Fury says, and I can tell he caught on to the looks of hesitancy on my face. "I've seen the toll it takes on you to talk with that man and I don't want to put you through that unless absolutely necessary." He grabs all of the files on the table and starts piling them together. "For now I want you to take these reports." He puts them in a nearby folder and then places it in front of me. "We're also going to give you the video files of the interrogations. I want you to look over them and see if there's anything you can pick up on."

I grab the files, but I'm still a little confused. "What could I possibly catch that your trained agents didn't?" I ask. I look up and see Fury and Maria give each other a worried look before bringing their eyes to me. "What?" I say, getting a little nervous.

Maria clears her throat as she leans forward. "You'll see this when you watch the videos but, sometimes when Hardin speaks he...zones out. Almost like he forgets where he is and who's in front of him. There's even a few times when he seems to be speaking directly to you."

I feel a chill run down my back. "He talks to me?"

"As if you were in the room with him." Maria says, clearly feeling just as put off by the whole situation.

"He's insane." I say, wishing I knew just who this guy is. And what the hell he ever wanted with me.

"Well there's no doubt about that." Fury says. "But that's why we think you might be able to find something in tapes. He doesn't tell us anything concrete or anything we can use to move this investigation forward. But if there's anything you can find or any hidden messages you think he might be sending you, let us know."

I start to get nervous, suddenly feeling a large amount of pressure to find something. "I can try but..." I take a breath, not fully understanding what they think I could help with. "Guys it's not like I'm friends with this guy. I don't know him any better than you guys do."

"And yet he trusts you." Fury says, and I can see the spy in him having a little bit of suspicion as to why that is. "He said you guys have a special relationship, and you never lie to each other."

"Oddly enough, I think that's actually true." I say as I look away, hating this idea. I don't officially know if John has ever lied to me, but nothing has given me any indication that he has. "I might be the only person he's willing to talk to." And as much as I don't want to go through that, I want this madness to end.

Fury puts his hand on the files and pushes it towards me. "Look over the files, watch the videos, if you want to go in after that, come back and we'll make it happen."

I sigh, realizing he's right. I need to see what I'm working with before I try to go in there and outsmart him. I need to know where his mind is at. "What about Stacy?" I ask, hoping there's at least some progress with her.

I see the regretful look in Fury's eyes, which tells me there is progress, but I might not like it. "Both psych and medical evaluation reports are in the files." he says, pointing to the folder in front of me. "She has some anomalies in her brain functions that we are keeping an eye on." He watches me carefully, and I can see what he's trying to tell me. "She doesn't seem dangerous but she does seem a bit unstable."

In other words, they're not too worried, but worried enough to keep her here. I don't even need to ask about my request to move her to a minimum security prison. It's clear that's not happening.

"We're not giving up on her Mia." Maria says, noting the look on my face. "But for now we have to keep her here."

"I understand." I say, not wanting to push for something when I've already asked for so much from them. "I appreciate what you guys are doing."

Fury leans back, his demeanor completely changing. "Now, there's something else we need to talk about."

I know where this is going, and I don't want it to. "No, I think we're good." I say, starting to get up.

"Connors." Fury sternly says, and I can feel the command in his voice.

I sit back down, trying to find the best way to lean into this conversation. "I thought you were okay with what I was trying to do." I say, knowing that's not where the issue is.

He looks at me, making it clear that he's not taking any of my bullshit right now. "I was, until I heard that Loki tried to attack you after you stupidly walked into his cell with no way of getting out because you barricaded the door."

I clear my throat, knowing I don't really have a good response for that. "I mean, when you say it like that."

"Trust me I said it nicer than I should have." he says and it's clear he's not happy.

"Director Fury–"

"Why is Tony currently working on an ankle monitor for Loki instead of getting him off this planet?" he asks, and I can't tell if he doesn't actually know why, or if he's being rehtorical and trying to point out how stupid it is that it's happening.

"Are you genuinely asking or do you already know what I did?" I say, trying not to say anything that will make things even worse. Fury gives me a cold glare and simply waits for me to answer his question. "Right." I say, knowing I haven't been this nervous around him in a while. "Well, Loki did react harshly to the news of Steve and I, but it's because he was caught off guard and there was a whole mix of emotions going on."

"Don't justify his actions Mia." Maria says, and while she's not being as hard on me as Fury is, she seems just as confused. "I was there, I saw how he reacted. We were all concerned for your safety." And it's clear that, considering Maria was the one who gave Fury the update, he has a strong idea of how bad it was.

"You assured me you could handle this Connors." Fury says, and I can feel his trust in me slipping.

"And I did." I say, refusing to back down on this. "I talked with him after and we explained both our sides. He apologized and assured me he really does want to be helped."

Fury takes a moment, and I can see him really think this over. He leans back on his chair and brings his hand to his chin as he watches me carefully. "What is the end result here Connors?"

I'm a little taken back by his comment. He knows what I want, which makes his question a little odd. And that in turn makes me feel like he's implying something else, but I need him to say it if I'm going to answer that question. "I want to help give Lok his freedom back." I say, repeating what I told him the first time. "If he can win over the people here who fought against him and trust him the least, then maybe Thor will consider giving him another chance in Asgard."

It's clear he's not satisfied with that answer as he narrows his eyes. "And for you?"

"For me?" I ask, needing him to be specific.

He leans back in and gives me a serious look. "What is the end result for you?"

I take a breath, as I straighten myself up. "Why don't you ask me what you really want to ask me?"

As much as he tries to hold his stern face, I see a hint of a smile come across his face. He takes a moment and then slightly softens his gaze. "You risked a lot for your relationship with Rogers. I'd hate to see you lose it all." he says, in an oddly sentimental moment.

But as kind as his intentions are, I don't love the insinuation that he's making. "I don't plan to lose anything." I say, with confidence.

"But you are risking things." he replies, and he's not asking.

I drop my head, knowing I can't deny that. "I know." I admit as I think about the fight I had with Steve. And then I can't help but think about Bucky. "With more than one relationship." I say. "But I trust my friends and my family. And I know we're going to get through this." That might just be my hopeful wishing, but I'm not giving up on my friendship with Bucky.

I look up and I can still see the hesitancy in his face. He's sympathetic, but he's still cautious. "Please Fury," I beg, "Without your support none of this continues."

He thinks about it for a moment and I can see when he finally breaks. "I want weekly reports from you, Rogers, and Stark." he says, and I let out a sigh of relief. "Honest weekly reports," he clarifies.

"No offense Fury, but between you and me I'm the one who's been the most honest in the past."

Despite the fact that I'm not wrong, Fury definitely doesn't like my smartass remark. Maria, on the other hand, has to press her lips together to try and control the laughter. But still, I definitely shouldn't have said that considering I just got him to not give up on this whole thing.

"Thank you again for trusting in me." I say, trying to pretend like I didn't just say that. "I promise complete honesty." I get up and grab the folder from the table. "Not that I've ever given you anything less."

"Alright," Maria says, rushing towards me and grabbing my arm. "We're getting you out of here before you say something else stupid."

"Oh come on," I say as Maria pulls me towards the door. "I'm just messing with him. We're friends." I turn back to see Fury with an annoyed look on his face. "We're friends, right Fury?"

"Goodbye Connors." he says, clearly over me. "And good luck." he throws in, showing he's still on my side.

"We're totally friends." I tell Maria, and she laughs as she pushes me out of the room.

We're still laughing as we head down on the elevator. "You have got some serious balls Connors." Maria says as the doors open and we head back into the main building.

"I think he respects that." I say, knowing Fury and mine's relationship is definitely a strange one considering he's THE Nick Fury. "We're total buds."

I pause, looking around and trying to figure out where Steve might have gone to try to get some information for Tony. Archives? Maybe to get some background on Loki. Or maybe he's trying to find some security systems we can add to our place, although I doubt there's anything here that Tony wouldn't already have.

"I wonder where Steve is?" I say, as I start to pull out my phone to call him.

Maria reaches out and stops an agent that was passing by. "Hey Carla, have you seen Captain Rogers?"

"Last I saw him he was in the tech room with Sharon."

I feel my jaw tighten as bile rises in my throat. I should have known the second she heard he was here she would have jumped at the chance to be with him. And of course the fact that I left him alone gave her the perfect opportunity.

"Are you okay?" Maria asks, and it's clear I wasn't able to hide the annoyance on my face.

"Yeah." I say, trying to shake away the images in my head of Sharon finding any excuse to touch Steve.

Maria steps in front of me as she crosses her arms over her chest. "You want to try answering that again without the murderous look in your eyes."

Shit. I can't act like this. Especially not in front of Maria. She works with Sharon. The last thing I need is to put her in the middle of something she shouldn't have to deal with. This is between Sharon and I...and Steve sort of, but not really since I haven't told him.

"It's okay." Maria says as her gaze softens. "I'd wouldn't want her around my partner either if she was saying the things she says about Steve."

What?! She's fucking saying things in public here? What does she think is going to happen? She's going to turn everyone here against me and on her side. Does she think that's going to make Steve leave me and be with her? Of course she would think that little of our relationship.

"What does she say?" I ask, although I have a pretty good idea.

Maria seems to hesitate, I guess not wanting to upset me more. But she ultimately lets out a sigh and gives in. "That it should have been her. That she would have made Steve happier. And that you got in the way of that."

I can't help but chuckle. "Yeah, that sounds about right." I say, a little surprised that she hasn't come up with new hurtful things to say. "She said the same thing to me when Steve was in the hospital."

"She said these things to your face?" Maria says, looking like she's about one second away from taking off and finding Sharon herself. I didn't want her involved, but I guess it was Sharon who made that happen.

"I'm assuming Steve doesn't know." she says, and when I give her a confused look she makes it clear that it's obvious. "There's no way he would still be friends with her if he knew what she said to you" she clarifies. I turn away from her, knowing exactly where this conversation is going, but Maria puts a hand on my shoulder and brings me back to face her. "Why haven't you told him?" she asks, more concerned than anything.

I sigh, no longer believing the excuse I'm about to give her. "I don't want to be the jealous girlfriend, telling him he can't have female friends."

"Mia, it's not the same, he should know how she treated you." she says, and I'm starting to worry that Maria is going to do what I haven't had the balls to do. 

"Look there's so much going on right now I don't want to give him another thing to worry about." I say, knowing the last thing I want right now is to put any more strain on his emotions. "Please don't say anything." I beg, and I don't just mean it in regards to Steve, but also to Sharon. She can go around saying whatever bullshit she wants, I just don't want her getting any more attention for it. Even if the idea of Maria tearing into her is highly satisfying.

Maria crosses her arms in front of her, wanting to protest, but I ultimately see her decide to respect my wishes. "I won't only because this is between you and Steve and not my business to meddle in. But I really think you should."

"I will, eventually." I say, knowing at some point Steve is going to hear about this. And I'd rather he hear it from me. "I'll tell him everything."

"Tell who everything?"

I close my eyes and mentally berate myself, knowing exactly who's just come up behind me.

I turn around and see the very curious, and adorably handsome face of my boyfriend.

"Hey." I say to Steve as I step towards him and give him a soft kiss, hoping it's enough of a distraction to make him forget what he just heard. "There you are. I was about to call you."

"Hi." he replies, enjoying the kiss I just gave him. "I was just finishing catching up with someone." he says, and I can't help but notice he didn't bother to specify who it was. A detail I know I'm going to obsess over. "Who are you eventually telling everything to?" he asks, apparently not forgetting his question.

"Fury." Maria says, with a casual roll of her eyes. She answered fast enough that there wasn't an awkward pause that made it seem like I was hiding something, and with enough of a playful tone that you wouldn't ever know we almost got caught.

Steve furrows his brow as he lets out a soft chuckle. "You didn't tell Fury everything?" he asks, knowing that was kind of the point of him not joining the meeting.

"We were talking about Thor helping me get information on Revenia." I say, not liking how easy I just lied to him. I see a flash of surprise come across Maria's face, seeing as how this is news to her too. But she quickly covers it up before Steve can notice. "With the John and Loki conversations happening I didn't want to stress him out even more." I chuckle. "But I assured Maria that eventually I am going to tell him about that." I look towards her, making it clear that the statement I just made has a different context for her than it does for Steve. I am going to tell him, just not now.

Steve shrugs as his arm comes around and he places a hand on my back. "I mean, it's nothing concerning Earth. You don't necessarily have to tell him." he says, clearly trying to make me feel better, which in turn actually makes me feel worse for lying.

"I know," I say. "But I want to for the sake of keeping things honest between him and me."

Steve gives me a soft smile, almost like he's proud of me for wanting to be honest with Fury. And I can only hope he can't see the guilt that I'm seriously feeling. "How did the meeting go?" he asks, a curious look in his eyes.

"Good." I say, considering I expected it to be worse. "He's a little worried about what happened with Loki but I convinced him to keep trust in me."

He nods and I can see the question looming in his eyes, one I know he's not going to ask.

"For the record." I say, getting his attention. "The conversation would have gone exactly the same if you had been in the room." I assure him.

But Maria, seemingly disagreeing, shakes her head. "On your side maybe, but I don't think Fury would not have asked you the questions he did if Steve was there."

Hmmm...she's not wrong.

Steve tilts his head, his curiosity piqued as he turns towards me.

I have no problem telling him what Fury asked. Especially since he technically didn't really ask, and was actually pretty vague about it. "I'll tell you about it on the flight home." I say.

"If you guys aren't busy doing something else." Maria mumbles under her breath.

I'm going to kill her.

"What?" Steve asks with a chuckle, and I don't think he fully heard her.

"What about you?" I quickly say to Steve, trying to change the subject before he figures it out. "Where did you go? Find anything helpful."

He gives Maria a curious glance but ultimately turns back towards me. "Yeah, a few things." he says without giving any details. "I had the information sent over to Tony. I hope it helps."

I can't help but get upset that he didn't even mention Sharon. As far as he's concerned I have no problem with her, so there's no reason he should keep the fact that he was with her a secret. Still, considering I'm keeping something from him about Sharon, can I be that upset that he's keeping something from me about her?

"Are Michael and Gina still here?" I say, trying to get both of our minds off the subject. "Maybe we can still get that ice-cream."

"No, they got called into a meeting." Steve says, and I can see a small relief he has with that statement. Which means he's jealous over the whole "first date" thing.

"Okay." I say, giving him a comforting pat on the stomach. "Then we should head home. We still have a lot to do."

We say our goodbyes to Maria and get ready to head separate ways.

"Take care of yourself," she says as she hugs me. "And your relationship." she whispers so that only I can hear. She's worried about Steve and I, and I have a feeling that it's about more than just the Sharon thing.

I can't be mad that they're nervous, even though I keep assuring them of my intentions. I want to be mad that I'm constantly having to defend myself, but they're right. Based on what they've seen, I'm not trustworthy around Loki. I'm sure they don't think I'm going to free him and then join him in a murderous rampage. But I can understand that they're nervous of what Loki might convince me to do. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm afraid of it too.

I look over at Steve as he starts up the quinjet. When he catches me staring he gives me a sly smile before getting back to work. There may be a lot of unknowns in this whole situation, but there is one thing that has never, and will never be in doubt for me; and that is how much I love this man. Everything about him, every moment with him. I love him.

As soon as we take off and he hits the auto-pilot mode I unbuckle my seatbelt and take him by surprise as I hop into his lap.

"Woah." he says as he catches me, placing one hand around my waist and the other holding my legs to him. "Didn't think you'd want to risk another quickie on the flight home." he teases as he leans in to kiss my neck. "Not that I'm complaining."

"No." I say, leaning back before I get distracted. "I just wanted to talk about something you said...or I guess technically I said, on our way here."

He pulls away and looks at me with an annoyed glare. "You can't take back what you admitted about Michael."

I roll my eyes, knowing I should have assumed his mind would go there. "No, it's not about that. Although technically I could argue that I said that under sexual coercion and it doesn't really count."

His hands grip down on me as he pulls me closer against his body. He leans back in, getting closer to my neck. "Now you're begging for a repeat." he growls as his teeth graze my skin.

I let out a soft moan and I can't help but clutch myself against him. "Don't distract me." I gasp out, knowing he needs to have control of himself cause I sure as hell won't be able to stop him.

He chuckles against my skin and leaves one last kiss before pulling back. "I'm sorry." he says, rubbing a hand up and down my leg. "What did you want to talk about?"

I bring a hand up, running it through his hair as I try to find the right way to say this. "So...earlier you asked if I liked it when you... fucked me hard." I say, the memory of him pounding into my suddenly invading my mind and making me slightly shift in his lap. Steve gives me a curious glance and I feel his hands on my thigh give me a small squeeze. "And I do, believe me." I clarify before he gets the wrong idea. "I fucking love it." My breathing falters a little, and I realize I have to control myself or else we really are just going to go another round. "But I just wanted to clarify something."

I take a moment to make sure he's watching and listening to me closely. "Those nights when there's no punishment, no teasing, no kinky stuff..." I bring my hand and slide it over his head, bringing it down until I can run my fingers along his cheek. "When every touch, every kiss is gentle and loving..." I lean down until I can press my forehead against his. "When it's slow, soft, sensual, and your eyes never leave mine..." I graze my lips against his, feeling him smile before I pull back. "I love those times just as much as I love the hard and rough ones."

With eyes full of love and the sweetest smile on his face Steve slides his hand up my neck and pulls me closer, until he can press his mouth to mine. His kiss is passionate, but not demanding. He's showing me exactly how he feels about what I just said, without undermining my comment about tender moments. Whether there's handcuffs, toys and an angry punishment, or it's just us being one with each other, there's always love, there's always intimacy.

I lean back, only to break our kiss, but I keep our foreheads pressed together. "I love every moment with you." I whisper, my hands sliding behind his neck and into his hair.

"Even the fights?" he asks, and despite the slight playfulness to his tone, I can tell his question is serious.

I smile and I bring my hands down to cup his cheeks. "Yes, even the fights. Because in those fights you push me to really think about mistakes, and it gives me a chance to work on being better." I pull back so that I can look in his eyes. "You make me better."

Steve sighs, looking so overwhelmed with emotions he doesn't know what to do. "You make me..." he pauses and before I can question him he pulls me back in and crashes his lips to mine. This kiss is slightly more heated, as the passion between us grows.

Steve pulls back, leaving both of us slightly breathless. "Sorry, words weren't enough." he pants out.

I nod as I try to control myself. "I got the message." I say with a smile.

We take a moment to just be with each other, our eyes locked together, both of us seeming to be in disbelief that this is really our lives. I think back to everything I've been through with Steve, all the patience he has given me. It was a tough road, and not just anyone would have stuck by me for it. But he did. From the moment we met, he was with me.

"You're a good man, you know that right?" I say, knowing I probably don't need to remind him of it. "A great man." Even now, the struggle still continues, and he's still doing everything he can to make me feel better. "And I hope you know I don't take for granted the fact that you're putting aside your personal feelings about this to help me."

Steve shifts himself so that he can sit up straight, but his hold on me continues. Then his hands come up to my neck and he makes sure that my gaze is 100% on him. "I'm going to stick by you no matter what Mia. But if I feel like this has gone too far, or there's too much risk, I'm going to stop this. I need you to understand that your safety, and the safety of our friends is my top priority." There's understanding and empathy in his voice, but there is also a fierce protectiveness in his words. He supports me, but isn't going to let me lose myself in stupidity.

Support while keeping me accountable. 

"I get it." I say, knowing it's exactly what I need. "And I don't want to see anyone get hurt either. So I agree, if Loki steps out of line and everyone's safety is concerned, we'll end this. I'm not going to be blinded by our past anymore. I know Loki is no longer the same person I used to know so I'll be more cautious." It hurts to admit it, because I wanted to believe in Loki. And while part of me still does, I can't continue to ignore that he's changed.

We both have.

Steve grabs my chin and keeps my head tilted up. "While I'm glad to hear that, I don't think it'll be that bad." he says, still trying to comfort me. "He clearly still cares about you. I don't think he wants to hurt you."

I give him a confused look, a little shocked at what seems like a comment in defense of Loki. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said about him."

Steve shakes his head, almost as if it literally pained him to say it. "And it's the nicest thing I'm ever going to say."

I can't help but laugh as I shift myself closer to him, leaning against his chest until my head can rest on his shoulder. Steve places a gentle kiss on my forehead as he cradles my body against his.

"You've got this." he says as his thumb caresses my cheek. "Even though most of us think rehabilitating Loki is impossible, if anyone can do it it's you."

He's wrong. It's not me, it's us. It's the people who care about him, and the people he's wronged the most. He didn't completely lose my trust, and he will win his brother's back. He's still worthy of redemption. The goal now is to prove that to not only the others, but to him as well.

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Hey guys,

Again thank you for your patience. I know I took my time with this one and I'm sorry. I'm trying to work out a new system for myself to make sure I get these out faster. One of the things I'm going to try to do is post more on my instagram that I have for my writing. If you have insta follow me on there (the name the same as on here) and I'll post more updates on my progress, that way it doesn't seem like I've fallen off the planet lol.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Fun fact, the quinjet scene was originally going to be in Love in the Dark but after writing about a quarter of the way it didn't feel right so I took it out. So glad to be able to find a spot for it.

Thank you again for reading.

I love you 3000