A FEW DAYS LATER
WAR POV
"I want to break up with you, War," Yin said while looking deeply into my eyes. There is no love in his eyes, it's just empty and he just gave a bored stare, showing that he meant everything he just said.
The tears didn't stop flowing down my eyes and I immediately held both of his hands. "Yin, please don't do this. I love you, Yin." My voice was shaken and my body felt so weak right now.
"Please don't break up with me. I promise to make all the things right."
"I promise, Yin." I hugged him with my trembling body but he pushed me away.
"Stop, War! You're annoying me!"
Annoying. The words I'm afraid of the most came out from him as that's the word he used to say a lot to me during high school but now he said it again. He said I made him feel annoyed.
"I have lost my feelings for you!" Can you please understand me!"
"No, Yin,No. Please don't do this to me." I took both of his hands and cupped my face with my teary eyes. "We can fix everything again. I love-"
"I don't love you anymore, War Wanarat!" He shouted and pulled his hands hard from me.
"Stop showing your face in front of me!" He said and walked away.
"Yin! Don't leave me!" I ran towards him but it's like I ran a hundred kilometers but our distance still became more and more far away, I still couldn't reach him.
"Yin"
"War"
"Yin, don't leave..."
"Baby, wake up"
"Yin!"
My face was covered in sweat as soon as I opened my eyes and I was feeling breathless. I took a deep breath in and let it out as I looked at Yin, who was also looking at me with concern.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, using the soft tone that absolutely differed from his personality in my dream. He wiped the sweat on my face and I immediately threw my body at him, hugging him tightly.
"Yinnn"
"Are you having a nightmare?"
I nodded and he stroked my hair and my back to calm me down as he was also aware my heart still didn't stop pounding fast because of the bad dream.
Yin left me in my dream and I could tell he no longer loved me by the sparkle in his eyes. It's completely empty.
I looked at him while my hands were still hugging him. "You...left me. You said you don't love me anymore." I could still feel the heavy feelings from the dream and my voice was cracking.
He caressed my cheek. "It's just a dream, love," he said.
"But it feels real."
He comforted me by giving me a genuine smile and a deep loving kiss on my forehead. "It will never happen. I love you too much and I will never leave you," he said and his words made me feel reassured as this time the sparkle in his eyes truly conveyed his unconditional love for me.
Yin tried to sooth me down for a few more minutes before we went back to lay down on the bed and I slept on his arm and wrapped my hand on his stomach tightly. He pulled me closer and rubbed my back. "I love you, War."
"I love you too, Yin," I replied and closed my eyes, trying to forget the bad dream I just experienced.
............................................
Later that morning, I awoke,struggling against my sleepiness to open my eyes but Yin wasn't beside me anymore and the monkey pillow he gave me was the only thing I hugged. I straight away changed my position to sit.
"Yinnn," I called him while rubbing my eyes. There wasn't an answer from him and my heart started to feel uneasy as I couldn't still forget what I dreamt last night. I didn't know why I had such a dream all of a sudden but for whatever be reason it was, I didn't like it.
The way he looked at me in my dream...I didn't like it. There was no love, his feelings were gone and he wasn't hesitant to break our relationship, walking away as I was like a shadow for him.
"You're already awake."
Yin's voice woke me up from my reverie as he just came out from the bathroom and he walked towards my direction. Lovely smile on his face.
"Yinnn."
As soon as I saw him, I felt a sense of ease and I hugged his arm when he sat next to me on the bed.
"I miss you," I said, making him chuckle and he kissed my forehead softly, then stroked my hair.
"You woke up late today."
"Hmm I couldn't sleep well because of that dream." I tightened my hug on his arm and looked at him while pouting.
He held my chin and brushed it gently, then gave me a peck kiss on my lips. "Forget about it. It will never happen."
"I promise you, love." He gave me a secure smile to prove everything he said was true.This caused me to smile as well since I could tell that he was speaking from the heart as I felt the sincere feelings in his words.
"I will never allow you to break up with me." I bit his arm and he grinned before trying to bite me too.
"Yinnn, don't bite me." I laughed and pushed him but he kept approaching me to do the same thing I did to him.
"Can I bite somewhere else other than your arm?" He said while giving me a naughty smile and I took my pillow, then threw it away at him.
"Bit yourself," I replied and got off from the bed, leaving him that didn't stop laughing.
................................................
AUTHOR POV
"I need to talk to you," Yin said to Pack who sat alone in the library, receiving a smirk from that guy.
"I have nothing to talk with you," Pack replied and folded his arm over his chest.
Yin bowed his body a little as he put both of his hands on the table and looked at Pack."It's okay if you want me to say out loud that you bother my boyfriend."
"I have no problem if all people here know your behavior," Yin said calmly, making the other guy clench his fist and get up from his seat, then walk out from the library and Yin followed him from behind.
Now, they were alone, just both of them.
"Stop bothering him, Pack." Yin spoke in a calm, non-aggressive tone because he wanted to fix this issue amicably and knew that if they got into an argument, no one would win and there is no good from all sides either. They have known each other since high school and although he hasn't been close to him, he's aware that Pack is one of War's closest friends.
"Why should I listen to you?" Pack replied in a mock tone.
"Don't listen to me. Listen to yourself."
"You also know what you do right now will make War feel more uncomfortable around you."
When Yin said that, Pack didn't object because he knew it to be true. War grew further away from him and stopped even treating him the same way as a close friend. Everytime he came closer to War, that small guy would walk away and leave him alone.
"You..."
"You take him from me," Pack said and he clenched his fist while staring at Yin. He still couldn't figure out why War chose Yin rather than himself because when it came to academic performance, he did a lot better than Yin and when it came to money, he could provide War with everything in a blink of an eye. He also could treat War better but everything he did, it's still the same. War still chose the same person who hurt him in the past.
"He chose me before but..." Pack stopped and closed his eyes for a while before continuing his words and looked at Yin. "You make him confused about his feelings."
"Stop denying the truth. You have a smart brain, Pack. You can think."
"You once said to me you already gave me a chance to take care of him but I wasted it," Yin said as that is what Pack used to tell him during their second day at this university.
"The truth is you never give me the chance. I got my own chance. You made a mistake to let him go and not fight to win his feelings at that time because you realized you couldn't never change anything."
"You realized he loved me from the start, didn't?" Yin asked.
Pack bowed his head down as the memory of what happened in high school threw back in his mind. Yin and War still weren't aware of their feelings towards each other at the time but Pack already could see clearly how they looked at one another and at the time he realized War was just comfortable with him as a friend, not lover.
"I didn't ask you to stop loving him because I know it takes time to do that."
"I just want you to respect him, respect our relationship," Yin said calmly.
He lifted his head and looked at Yin. "What if I can't do that?" He asked because how many times he tried to persuade himself to accept the truth, he still couldn't let go of his first love. It hurts so bad to see the person you love the most fall in love with someone else.
"Then, I don't think I can talk to you nicely anymore."
Yin walked away but after a few steps, he stopped and turned his body to face Pack who was still motionless. "You do not behave like this if you truly love someone, Pack."
"You're human. You want to love and be loved. There's nothing in that to be ashamed of."
"But you're stuck in a place where you won't allow yourself to deal with the truth," he said and walked away, leaving Pack alone.
....................................................
War had mentioned that he wanted to study in the photography club's room today because the library was crowded. When Yin came there, he saw War paying close attention to his book and jotting a note, not even realizing his presence.
He walked to War and blew a wind in War's ear, causing him to startle a little and Yin's lips turned into a wide smile because of the cute reaction.
"Yinnnn, I thought there is a ghost in this room," he said and pulled Yin's hand to sit at the chair beside him.
"Where is your book? You didn't bring any books?" He asked as he saw Yin's hand just empty without any stuff.
Yin then laid his head on War's shoulder. "Hmm I'm too lazy to study. I just want to stare at you," he said with a pampered voice and War shook his head looking at his boyfriend's behavior.
"Our exam is after tomorrow, Yin. You need to study."
"You already missed a lot of your study before this," he said as Yin was a bit busy with his football team and now Yin needed to catch up on the revision but Yin looked so calm unlike him who looked more worried looking at how calm Yin was.
"Hmm I'm just excited about what we want to do after the exam," Yin said in a low tone but it's loud enough to his ear and War instantly coughed after hearing that. His face turned into red and he pushed Yin's head gently that still leaned on his shoulder.
"Study, Yin."
"Hmm lazy," he replied.
"Okay so you will not get anything...after the exam," War said, almost inaudible because he could feel his cheeks blush to say that but before he said more, Yin already took one of his books on the table like a flashlight and started to read it.
"Don't talk to me. I want to focus on my studies now." His eyes gave a full concentration on the book while saying that, making War chuckled and shook his head.
After an hour and half of studying, Yin closed the book and stretched his sore body while yawning.
"Aww you already done?" War asked because Yin rested his head on the table and looked at him. There was no sign to continue his study.
He hummed and handed his hand towards War's direction to play with War's hair on his forehead.
"Let me ask you a question."
"What will I get as a reward if I answer correctly?" Yin inquired, cracking a little smile.
War rested his chin on his hands and caressed Yin's hair. "What do you want?"
Yin lifted his head from the table and drew his face closer to him. "If I say correctly, I want you to...kiss me," he said while looking at War's rosy lips, making the small guy gulp his saliva.
"If your answer is wrong?" War asked.
"Let me kiss you," Yin said confidently and War chuckled.
"This is not fair at all."
"Awww, why? I give you the opportunity to kiss me if I answer correctly," he raised his eyebrows proudly.
"So, whether the answer is correct or wrong, you still get a kiss?" War asked while grinning.
"Yeah, you can give more if you want."
He pinched Yin's waist, causing Yin to scream a little and laugh.
.................................................
TWO DAYS LATER
WAR POV
"Let's watch a movie tonight after we finished the exam," I sent Yin a message and my heartbeat has been pounding like crazy since this morning as I remembered what I told him before this and today is our last exam before we started a semester break!
So, that means...the words I said to him a few days ago will happen tonight.
Shit War! I couldn't handle my nervousness! I don't even nervous to answer the exam because I'm confident I could do well but when thinking about tonight, my heart started to race like insane.
But did he remember about that?
I don't know because the last time he mentioned that was two days ago and after that he really focused on his study from morning until night but as from my side, I couldn't ever stop thinking and being nervous about that every second.
I had never done it before, so I lacked any prior experience. I know Yin was also the same because he once told me he never kissed anyone, so of course he never 'did' it either but the way he kissed and played with my...lower part and chest before seemed obviously he was a lot better than me.
Arghhh just talking about this makes me feel freaking shy!!!
And now, I have no idea why I sent him a message to watch a movie together tonight. Maybe because I'm nervous and tried to find a way to decrease my nervousness.
"Okay. I will come to your room tonight."
"I need to leave my phone now. Goodluck for your exam, my cutie boy."
"I love you," he replied to my message.
Did he forget about the thing I said to him?
Am I the only one who could stop thinking about that?
Arghhh I don't know!!!
.................................................
As soon as I finished the exam, I came back to my room and I also rejected Bonz's invitation to go to the club, celebrating the end of our first semester.
I dialed my dad's number to call him as I already told my parents I wanted to go back home tomorrow but I needed to change the plan to avoid traffic jams and Yin also had a party with his football team tomorrow night.
I dialed my dad's number a few times but he didn't answer, maybe because he was in a meeting, so I decided to call my mom.
"Hellooo, mom," I greeted her cheerfully when she answered my call.
"Hello, my handsome boy. Did you already finish your exam?"
I hummed.
"Did dad busy,mom? He didn't answer my call," I asked but looking at the time now, obviously he was busy because it's still working hours.
"Maybe he's in a meeting. Why, War?"
"Emm I can't come back tomorrow"
"but I promise to come back the next day na naa naaa," I said in a cute tone, hoping that my mom will be okay with that because she was the most excited to meet me.
"It's okay,War. Make sure you have enough sleep before driving back to our home, okay?"
"Did the person you told me you wanted to bring back also with you later?"
"Yeah, of course," I answered excitedly.
She giggled. "I'm excited to meet your special person," she said, making a big smile on my face.
After talking a few more minutes, I hung up the call and looked at myself, then my room surroundings. It's 6 pm and maybe Yin will come to my room at 9 pm.
Shit.
My heart started to beat fast again. What should I do now? Do I need to change a bed sheet? What the hell I need to change it. We haven't done anything yet!!!
I pulled the drawer beside the bed and put my bottle lotion there.
I haven't done anything much after that other than being nervous and didn't stop walking around my room while biting my finger. Maybe because I didn't have any experience and I don't know how the thing works specifically, so it makes me become more worried.
I mean what if Yin thinks I'm really bad at it?
What if he thinks nothing is interesting about me?
What if I can't satisfy him?
I looked at my watch and it's 7.30 pm now. I took the towel and took a shower. I spent more than an hour in the bathroom to clean myself because of course I need to do that!!! I didn't want Yin to think I smelled bad when we did that.
After coming out from the bathroom, it's already 8.45 pm and I just wear short pants and an oversized shirt, so it seemed like I wasn't wearing any pants since my shirt was big enough to hide it.
Why do I wear like this? Yeah, obviously I want to seduce him and make him affected when he looks at me...I wasn't even sure if he remembered about tonight as he didn't argue when I told him I wanted to watch a movie tonight.
When he called me this evening after we finished the exam, he also didn't say anything and we just talked for a while on the phone because he said he had something urgent that needed to be settled.
I put my laptop on my lap and I sat on the sofa, trying to find a movie that we could watch.
I heard someone using the key to open my room and I know it was Yin because he was the only one who had my room key.
As soon as I saw him come inside the room, my breath almost took away as my heart was pounding so fast and he smiled at me when he saw me sit on the sofa with my laptop.
"Hey," he said and kissed my head before sitting beside me. His eyes changed to look at my exposed thighs before changing his focus to look at me again.
Silence.
"What movie do you want to watch?" Yin broke the silence and I cleared my throat, then took my laptop and put it on Yin's lap.
This is so awkward!!! He clearly didn't remember what I said to him about tonight.
"Eer this movie," I said awkwardly and went to switch off the lamp but I left the small lamp next to the bed on, which created a gloomy mood. I sat beside him again and he looked at me without blinking and I raised my eyebrows, using my eyes to ask why he stared at me.
"You want to watch the movie now?" He asked and I nodded.
I wasn't even in the mood to watch this movie but my nervousness made me do so!!! How could I ask him straightforwardly about the thing I said to him?! What if he didn't even think about that?! I'm just gonna embarrass myself!!!
He pressed a start button and he put the laptop on the table in front of us. I rested my head on his shoulder and hugged his arm, not even focusing on the movie because my mind is just full about the real intentions of why he's in my room tonight.
Did he really not remember about that?
Why is he still not saying anything?
Why am I the only one who seemed like I really wanted to do it with him?!
I purposely crossed my leg and sat in the position, making my thighs more exposed.
Would he be affected if he saw me like this?
I don't know!!! He didn't say anything and still focused on the movie.
What should I do now? Did I also need to forget about the thing?
I lifted my head and looked at him but his eyes didn't look at me. His attention focused on my exposed thighs but as soon as he realized I looked at him, he immediately changed his gaze to the movie again.
"This movie...is good," he said.
"Yeah, it's good," I replied and watched the movie for a moment but my hand slowly crawled and landed on his thigh, making him move a little but he didn't ask me to move my hand, so I just stayed that way.
As my heart was racing, I paid no attention to the movie and without realising it, I began to caress his thigh while biting my lower lip. I let out a soft moan and crawled my hand to his bulge but before I touched it, he grabbed my hand, making me startled and I felt like I came back to my senses again.
"Yin, I'm-"
I couldn't finish my words when he slammed his lips with mine.
"Mmm," I made a surprise sound with the sudden kiss.
He kissed me roughly like he really wanted to do it for so long, causing a moan to escape from my mouth. His hand was on the back of my neck, so I couldn't back away. He bit my bottom lip and pulled it, making me gasped and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue into my mouth. The kiss he made was so passionate as our head titled here and there and it made my heart pounding wildly.
He broke the kiss and just parted an inch from my lips, causing us to feel each other's heavy breath because we were still catching the air.
"Yin..." I called him with my swollen lips.
"Can we stop watching the movie? I can't wait any longer," he said and brushed my lower lip with his thumb. His eyes clearly showed he was trying to control his desire and didn't want to do it without my consent.
As soon as I nodded, he didn't want it any longer and slammed his lips with mine again.
• TBC •
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credit: @war_is_cute