Chapter 40: The Fall
Her
I SAT down on the large couch as I watched Jade bring her high heels back to the shoe rack. When she stopped just beside me she immediately sat down and looked at me.
My eyes wandered from her face down to her body. She was still wearing her office attire. White blouse and tan pencil skirt. Her hair was tied into a bun.
I immediately looked back at her face when I heard her talk. "Galing ka lang bar, 'no?"
I nodded at her and offered a hand in front of her. Tumingin ito doon at agad naman niyang pinatong ang kamay sa akin.
She squealed when I suddenly tightened my grip on her hand and pulled her into me. With widened eyes, she tried her best to stop herself from totally crashing into my body.
My eyes stayed glued to her face. She was slightly blushing, shocked by my sudden move. I can feel my heart beating faster, seeing how close her face was to me.
I swallowed the lump inside my throat as I took a quick glance at her reddish lips. There was still a slight tint on it, probably because of her lipstick. I quickly averted my gaze back to her eyes.
"Mhm... I always come home from work, Jade," I whispered.
A small smile started to appear on her lips as she looked down on mine. I once again swallowed, seeing how desire quickly flashed on her hypnotizing eyes.
She quickly closed her eyes and leaned in to kiss me. It was like a reflex that I immediately closed mine too. I felt her soft lips lightly touch down on mine but she immediately pulled away.
My jaw tightened upon realizing that she was teasing me. I opened my eyes only to see her looking down on me, lust was evident on her face. Our eyes met that made my heart double its pace.
"Amoy alak ka eh," she whispered and once again dipped her head to kiss me.
I immediately opened my mouth and willingly welcomed her kiss. It was hungry and intense. Is she okay? She's not drunk, right?
I felt her hands on the side of my face, angling it to a better place. She sucked my tongue that made me let out a frustrated moan. She quickly pulled her lips away from mine, but still close enough for me to feel her breath fanning against my now wet lips.
"You taste like alcohol too," she whispered. She sounded like she was out of breath.
I quickly encircled my arms around her small waist and placed her on top of me. I can already feel her pencil skirt that will interrupt us so I immediately pulled it up and pushed her down to sit on my lap.
She moaned inside my mouth when our bodies instantly touched. Mabilis ko ring hinila pababa ang kanyang palda para maiwasang lumilis ito nang todo.
"Taste tested a new drink earlier. Don't worry, I only drank one shot," I whispered.
My eyes couldn't stay away from looking at her lips. I can just tell that it was already slightly swollen from all the biting and sucking that I did. I tried my best to look back at her eyes.
I felt the tip of her nose touch mine that made me stop from breathing.
Damn.
She's so close, I don't think I can handle it. I don't think my heart can handle how fast it was beating.
"Hmm... Parang masarap 'yong bago niyong drink? Try ko sa susunod?" she whispered, teasing me more.
A small smirk quickly appeared on my lips as I leaned in and fully kissed her. I didn't know how long we were making out. I could no longer focus but only think of her lips kissing me back, my heartbeat rising much higher, and her hot palm on top of my chest.
I didn't know that she had already unbuttoned my dress shirt. I felt her grind on top of me that triggered something deep within me. A groan escaped my lips and pushed her away from me.
When I looked in her direction, her face was already flushed. Her neck and cheeks were crimson red. Her now hooded eyes were looking down at me, disappointed that I stopped. I slowly looked down on her body, I can already see her collarbone while a part of her cleavage was already showing. Her long hair was smoothly cascading down, some of it was wet because of sweat.
She looks hot... Jade is so hot.
I quickly pulled myself out of my own fantasy and started buttoning her blouse back. She just laughed at me and even pushed herself closer, touching a very sensitive part of me.
I tightly closed my eyes and placed my hands on her waist. Mabilis ngunit maingat ko siyang inalis sa aking kandungan at nilagay siya sa couch.
She even teased me more when I really avoided her touch. I quickly took a cold shower and went back only to see her looking at me. She was waiting for me to come back.
She tapped her lap, telling me to put my head there. Mabilis akong sumunod sa kanya. "Medyo nag-fafade na 'yong silver highlights ng buhok mo..." she whispered while combing my hair with her fingers.
I just stared at her face while she was so focused on my hair. "What do you want me to color it next?"
"Hmm... golden brown! Para magkamukha na talaga kayo ni Archie!" she said with a playful tone and pointed at the dog.
I chuckled while still looking at her happy face. I can feel my heart getting full just by seeing her smile. This is what she deserves. Happiness.
The next day, we planned to hang out once again. I was already in the place we planned to meet. I kept on tapping my shoes on the tiled floor while frequently looking at the time on my phone.
She's not contacting me. Calls or even texts, there was none. I anxiously licked my lips as I saw a waiter approach me. "Sorry po, Sir. Pero do you want anything po?" magalang nitong tanong sa akin.
It's only been thirty minutes.
Mabilis akong umiling. "No, thank you. I'm still waiting for someone," I said with a small smile.
The waiter nodded at me and went back to his work. It hasn't been a full hour yet. She will come. I will wait for her before I order anything.
A whole hour passed and she still hasn't answered any of my texts. I could not take it that I had to drive to her condo. I even bought her a slice of chocolate cake, her favorite. I'm sure she'll be happy to see this.
Maybe she just had a minor problem at work. I'll just be the one who will come to her.
I stepped out of my car and walked towards her condo building. I stopped from my tracks when I suddenly felt my phone vibrate against my hands. I quickly looked at it and my heart jumped upon seeing Jade's caller ID.
Mabilis akong napaayos ng tayo at sinagot ito. "Jade. Finally, you called me. Are you okay?"
"Oo. Okay lang ako," she answered.
I felt how a big weight was lifted off my chest upon hearing her voice. She's fine.
"Are you really? Do you want me to fetch you?" I asked and was about to walk inside the building when I heard her response.
"'W-Wag na! 'Wag mo na 'kong puntahan," she said. "H-Hindi nga pala ako makakapunta. Something came up. Sorry, ngayon ko lang nasabi..."
I let out a soft sigh and looked down on the small box where the slice of cake was placed. Tumalikod ako at lumabas mula sa building. "Okay, then. I'll just see you tomorrow?" I asked.
"Oo. Magpapakita na talaga ako sa'yo bukas," she said with a laugh.
I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "Alright. Be carefu—"
Naputol ang aking sasabihin nang makarinig ako nang malakas na sigaw ng lalaki mula sa kabilang linya. "Mahal na mahal kita, Jade! Mahal na mahal kita... Bumalik ka na sa akin, please..."
My brows furrowed as my forehead creased. The man from the other line sounded so familiar. Slurry words, deep voice, rough way of speaking. Jake.
"Jade, who was—"
"May gagawin pa 'ko, Hugh. Bukas nalang. Tatawagan ulit kita," she quickly answered and turned off the call.
When I looked around the vicinity of the condo building, I saw a familiar car parked just beside the building. I felt my chest tighten while looking down on my phone.
My hold on the box of cake tightened as I felt my throat getting blocked. Is she... back with him already?
We were doing good yesterday. What... happened? We were good.
I didn't even notice it but I was already walking towards a trash bin and placed the cake in it. I absent-mindedly walked back to my car and went home with a crushed heart.
I was disappointed at her. I know that it's her choice, to pick whoever she wants. But, not telling me that they were already back together was such a dick move.
She couldn't even do the bare minimum. To tell me right away that she's back with Jake already.
The next day, I was expecting for her to meet up with me, just like what she told me through the phone. I would at least listen to what she has to say. I don't want to assume things, especially when it didn't come directly from her.
I'm giving her the benefit of a doubt. I'll... force myself to wait for her side.
But, I was surprised to see her stepping inside my bar. Wearing skinny jeans and a sleeveless top that hugged her body at the right places. Even from afar, I immediately noticed that she had a lot of makeup on.
I shook my head to the side and continued helping the other bartenders. Minutes later, I just saw her talking to one of the bartenders, Josh. They were laughing and it looked like she was really happy.
Is she not looking for me? She would've asked for me by now...
I tried to distract myself with my job and after a few more minutes, I saw her walk over to a couch. Imo and Nica were already there.
I stared at them for a moment when I suddenly saw a waiter holding some drinks, walking over to their direction. I quickly ran over to him and told him that I'll be the one to serve it.
It wasn't for their table. It was just for the people near them. I slowed down when I was near their seats.
"Hmm... Gusto kong i-share? Nagkabalikan na kami ni Jake. Kagabi lang," I heard Jade say to her friends.
I was immediately taken aback by what I heard that made me stop on where I was. My body froze and I just stood there, dumbfounded.
"Jade! Anong nangyari sa pag-momove on?!" malakas ang boses na sigaw ni Maia.
I heard Jade laugh. "Wala eh. Mahal ko," she shyly answered.
My chest started to tighten as I felt my throat getting blocked. I tried to swallow the lump inside my throat and took a quick glance at their direction.
"Jade, it was crystal clear that you didn't want to get back with him. Remember? He's an asshole," I heard Nica's soft voice say.
"Nagbago na siya, Nica. Kita ko ang pagbabago niya," Jade firmly answered that just made my heart clench more.
So, they really are back together? And, she didn't even bother telling me...
We were good though? Why wasn't she honest with me last night?
It would hurt less if I were to know it from her. If she were to tell me last night.
I waited for her yesterday. I waited for her only to know that she once again picked him over me.
Even though my heart was being crushed into millions of pieces, I tried my best to distract myself with work.
I'll wait for her side. She must have some kind of reason to not tell me immediately.
But, it never came. The whole night they were hanging out in my bar, she never approached me.
Does she not care about it anymore? Is she that happy that she forgot about what we had?
What we had.
Huh. In the first place, there was nothing special between the two of us. Even from the start, I was the only one hoping. And, even in the end, I was still left alone, hoping for her to at least talk to me, to explain it to me.
I talked to him. Jake. He was still the same. Drunk and violent. I thought... he changed? Is this what Jade saw as change?
Her body was shaking as she begged on her knees, in front of the man she chose. Begging for him to stop the violence.
"P-please... Tigil na..." she repeatedly said. Her voice cracked upon saying those words.
I shouldn't have gone here. If only I knew how bad he got, I shouldn't have done this. It only made the situation for Jade worse.
I watched as Jake made his way towards Jade. He softly caressed Jade's cheek and whispered to her. Jade stopped crying and nodded.
I swallowed the big lump inside my throat as I stared at them. Jade raised her hand and tenderly caressed Jake's cheek.
"Ikaw lang, Jake. Ikaw lang..." she softly whispered, but it was still loud enough for me to hear.
Mabilis akong napaiwas ng tingin sa kanilang gawi kasabay ng paninikip ng aking dibdib. I bit my lower lip hard, trying my best to stop myself from hurting even more.
It hurts. To see the girl I love inside the arms of another man. But, it hurts more, knowing that there was never an us in the first place. That she was never and will never be mine.
What I heard next crushed me. Into millions of pieces.
"Hugh, please leave us alone. Umalis ka na, Hugh. Tigilan mo na 'ko," she firmly said. "Hayaan mo na 'kong maging masaya kay Jake."
I chased her. I begged for her.
I didn't care if I looked dumb. If I looked stupid in the eyes of the others. I love her...
"Jade, can you at least tell me what really happened?" I begged.
All I need is an explanation. I was willing to listen. To give up, even if it'll hurt me more.
"Sino ka ba para bigyan ko ng paliwanag?" she ruthlessly answered that made me stop.
I stared at her for a few seconds. I couldn't believe she could say that...
"Jade—"
"Ako ang nakipagbalikan kay Jake. The night I didn't see you, he was there. He showed up on my doorsteps. Nag-usap kami. Pinili kong kausapin siya at hindi ka kitain. T-The feelings that I'm trying to bury deep within me once again resurfaced. I-I realized that I still love him."
I couldn't do anything but stay silent. My forehead creased in pain and confusion. I quickly licked my lips and avoided her gaze.
I kneeled in front of her. I desperately cried and begged her more. I no longer cared.
"Can't you use me any longer? Was I not enough to make you forget about him?" I asked.
"You know you aren't enough," she firmly answered.
I felt my chest tightened more together with my throat closing off. My chest was heaving so bad, my lungs desperately asking for air.
Fuck.
"You are the one who destroyed yourself. Sinabihan mo akong gamitin ka at ginawa ko 'yon. We both know that we don't have anything special between the two of us. You're just a rebound. Masaya na ako sa taong mahal ko, Hugh. Kaya tigilan mo na kami."
Even in the end, I was still the man she never chose. The man who she just used.
"Okay ka lang?" I heard a man asked me. Tumingin ako sa aking tabi at nakita ang isa sa mga kaibigan ko.
The bar is now empty. I closed it. We were the only ones inside.
The tip of my fingers caressed the rim of the glass filled with alcohol. I looked down on it and shook my head to the side.
Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga ni Jaydee sa aking tabi. I watched him as he got his own glass and poured alcohol on it too. "Jaydee," I called.
"Wala 'yong dalawa. Busy ata sila pero gusto ka rin nilang makausap," he said. He took a sip from his glass while still looking at me. "Anong nangyari?"
I let out a deep sigh and drank all the remaining alcohol inside the glass. "She chose him already. It's done," I simply said.
I once again poured another batch of alcohol inside my cup.
"Yung kay Jade ba?" dahan-dahan niyang tanong. "Ha? Pinili niya pa rin 'yong gagong 'yon?" hindi nito makapaniwalang dagdag.
I know that Jaydee's just trying to lighten the mood. But, I don't think any of his humor will work in my situation.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I asked for it."
I heard the loud noise of his glass cup banging down on the tiled counter. "Oo nga. Simula palang noong una, alam mo nang masasaktan ka eh," he honestly said that just made me chuckle. "Tanga ka rin sa part na 'yon."
"Yeah..."
Indeed. Why do I have to fall in love to a woman who will never love me back?
"Pero mali din kasi si Jade na hindi agad sinabi sa'yo at hindi manlang agad pinaliwanag," pagbawi niya.
I couldn't even describe how angry and disappointed I was at her. She could've told me earlier. I will try to understand her.
A lot of things happened. A lot of betrayals. But also the truth was revealed.
When I knew of Kurt ruining Imo and Andre's relationship, I was furious. But, he wasn't himself. He was drugged. By Jake.
Even though I knew the main reason why Kurt did it, I'm glad that he didn't make it as an excuse to avoid what he did. He took responsibility for it. He took all the blame.
I stared at the woman beside me as she cried. "H-He blackmailed me... I only wanted to protect the two of you... H-Hindi ko naman ginusto na madamay pa sina Maia dito. Ako ang dapat eh. Ako lang dapat ang nasasaktan..."
She sacrificed her own happiness and freedom just to protect the people she really cares for.
"H-He will kill you. He will hurt my sister. Galawin at saktan niya na ang lahat 'wag lang ang kapatid ko. She doesn't deserve it... She's just a child..." she whispered. "P-please, Jannica is just a child..."
Her love for her sister really struck me. I understand her now. Her reasons.
She chose to trade her own self for the sake of her sister and friends.
The anger inside me was still evident even though I can already see her crying. I didn't even expect for myself to feel like this. She has always had a soft spot in me.
"I just want to tell you that I'm still mad at you for not explaining your side earlier. You... won't even tell me if I didn't kneel and beg for you to explain," I emotionlessly said. "But, you don't need to worry for me. I can handle myself, Jade. I've handled many hardships in life. You don't need to take care of me."
She was still wiping her tears, still not looking at me.
"I don't know when I'll be able to forgive you, but at least give it some time," dagdag ko pa. "For now, focus on yourself."
I didn't expect for her to end everything that night. I just suddenly got a call from her father in the middle of dawn, telling me to come to her condo.
Without even thinking, I made my way to her condo. When I stopped just in front of it, the doors cracked open, making my eyebrows furrow.
I quickly went inside only to see a woman who passed out on the floor. My eyes widened as I quickly ran over to Jade. Her eyes were swollen while her face was full of scars and bruises. There was a knife and scissors lying just beside her.
I reached for her and placed her head on top of my lap. My heart was beating so fast. Fuck.
"Jade, Jade," I repeatedly called her name, but to no avail, she didn't respond.
Mas lalo lamang bumilis ang tibok ng aking puso nang hindi ito nagsasalita.
I was about to lift her up and bring her to the hospital when I suddenly saw a man walking towards me. It was Jade's father. His face was full of anger and pity.
"P-Pakidala naman si Jade sa hospital, hijo. Kailangan niyang mapatingnan," nauutal at mahina nitong utos sa akin.
I stayed silent and lifted Jade off the floor. "What happened?"
"Nadatnan ko nalang siyang ganyan habang umiiyak naman si Jake. Nag-away ata sila, sira ang telepono ni Jake..." mahina niyang sagot. "Pakidala na naman siya sa hospital. Ako na ang bahala kay Jake," pagmamakaawa nito.
I stayed by Jade's side the whole time she was in the hospital. The doctor said that she was fine. She just needs rest and some medicines for her scars and bruises.
I only distanced myself from the hospital bed when Nica came.
"Hugh..." she whispered when she opened the door of the room. Her eyes immediately darted to Jade who was lying unconscious on the bed. "What happened?" nag-aalala nitong tanong at saka lumapit sa kaibigan.
"It was Jake. I just got a call from her father," I answered and slowly distanced myself.
Nica was the one who took care of Jade the whole time. She never left her side.
When Jade was already discharged, I was the one who took her home. I cooked her soup and her favorite food, adobo. I even quickly went to the nearby cafe and bought her a slice of chocolate cake.
She was crying when I knocked on the door of her room. My body stiffened when she suddenly jumped on me and hugged me tight. I felt my heart jump and double its pace.
"Thank you, Hugh. Thank you for staying with me..." she whispered, her voice weak.
My body slowly relaxed as a small smile started to appear on my lips. I placed my hand on her waist and softly caressed it.
"I'm proud of you, Jade. Thank you for being strong and for standing up for yourself," I whispered back.
We ate after she let go of the hug. I don't even know how long we hugged and all I knew was that she needed comfort.
She explained to me why she was crying. I was surprised that she told me about her past. Specifically, about her mother. It sounded like a sensitive yet precious topic for her, so I was honestly honored to hear it from her.
She was healing well. It took me months to forgive her for what she did, but she understood. I stayed as her friend, throughout the whole process of her healing. She asked forgiveness too, as a friend.
I was busy writing down all of my thoughts, only Jade's face was on my mind. A small smile stayed on my face while writing the whole thing down.
I couldn't contain my excitement as I wrote down words on the colored papers.
Naalis lamang ang aking tingin sa mga papel na gupit-gupit na nang marinig ko ang pagpasok ng isang tao sa loob ng aking opisina. I took a quick glance at the door and saw Josh, the bartender, come in with a bottle of alcohol and a glass on hand.
"Ano 'yan, Sir Hugo? Bumabalik elementary po ba tayo?" pang-aasar niya sa akin nang makita ang iba't-ibang kulay ng colored paper sa aking desk.
I finished all of my paper work already. I made sure to finish it early so I can make this for Jade.
I chuckled and signaled him to put the bottle of alcohol down on the table. "It's for Jade," maiksi kong sagot.
Iniwan niya ang baso at alak sa taas ng aking lamesa at sumilip pa sa mga papel. "Hala, iba na talaga ang tama mo, Sir! Ano 'yan? One to one hundred na papel?" nagtataka niyang tanong. He probably saw the number on the paper.
"Yeah," I said.
"Nako, tinamaan ka na talaga, Sir! Bihira nakakaligtas dyan!" pang-aasar pa niya sabay tawa nang malakas.
Yeah, I know. I barely survived just for the sake of my love for her.
This time, we told ourselves that we will take everything slow. We made sure that all of the scars caused by our past healed first.
"Tsk. 'Wag mo nga kasi tulungan, Hugh! Hindi naman lahat kaya mong tulungan eh," pagpiit sa akin ni Jade. "Masyado kang mabait! 'Di dapat ganyan. Aabusuhin ka na nyan eh," dagdag pa niya.
"But, Jade—"
She immediately cut me off. I let out a soft chuckle while looking at her creased forehead on the screen of my laptop.
"Makinig ka sa akin. Akala ko ba kailangan na natin ng 'character development'?" she said, slightly changing the tone of her voice on the last words.
I softly laughed and crossed my arms on top of my chest. I leaned my back on the swivel chair and nodded my head at her.
"Okay, okay, I'll listen," I answered, which made her smile. "I love you, Jade," I whispered with a small smile on my lips.
Mas lumawak ang ngiti sa kanyang labi nang marinig iyon. "Gusto rin kita. Bumalik ka na, ha? Hangga't sinisipag pa akong mag-jowa," she joked.
We've only been apart for a few weeks, yet I miss her so much already.
We made sure to help each other be the best version of ourselves. I really tried picking whom I will help. I was trying to not get taken advantage of, just like what Jade always tells me.
Even though we were only communicating through the internet, it was already enough for me.
Her patiently waiting for me to come back home is more than enough.
I was staring at her peaceful face while she sleeps. Nakatulog na siya dahil sa pagod kahit nasa call pa kami.
I let out a soft sigh and leaned my back at the chair. "I'll come back home to you soon," I whispered and also closed my sleepy eyes.
I took in a deep breath as I opened my eyes. "Can I come back to you now?" I asked while hugging her tightly from behind.
My heart was beating so fast while those words left my mouth. It's been a month of her trying to assure me. I'm more than grateful for what she did just to not make me feel bad.
Ramdam ko ang paninigas ng katawan niya sa gulat at mabilis akong hinarap.
A small smile crept up to my lips when I saw her widened eyes looking up at me.
"A-Ano?" she asked.
I softly chuckled and looked down at her hands. I grabbed it and intertwined it with mine. My other hand made its way to her soft cheeks.
"Can I come back home to you now?" I asked once again.
Her face slowly turned red as she bit her lower lip, trying to stop herself from grinning too much. The sides of her eyes were watering while she was looking up to me.
She quickly pulled me into a hug as I enveloped her whole body with my arms. "Totoo na talaga 'to? Wala nang hihintayin pa?" she asked.
I let out a laugh and caressed her small back. "Yeah."
She let go of our hug and instead placed my face in between her palms. She stared straight into my eyes with a wide smile on her lips.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Hugh," she whispered.
My eyes widened as my hand on her waist tightened. I felt my heart explode in unexplainable feelings. Hearing those words from her... It was too much for me.
My heart doubled its pace, my pulse raised, while my breathing hitched. I was taken aback by what she just said.
My chest was tightening by how happy I was hearing it from her.
"Damn, Jade. You will rip my heart out of my chest," I said with a chuckle.
I quickly lifted her off her feet and hugged her tight. I can't stop myself from smiling so much, the muscles on my jaw were already hurting.
"I love you too, Jade," I whispered with all my heart.
God, I just love every single thing about her.
When I placed her down on the ground, she immediately reached for my lips and crashed it with hers. I closed my eyes and felt the touch of her soft lips against mine.
I am home. And my home is her.
⛓️
—zχαnтℓуχ