A dead scholar wasn't what I had thought to deal with that day. Or the five of them pawing over me. Or Soir for dinner. But they herded me back to the Hippocamp house, Ormiss not hiding how annoyed he was that they just presumed to cross the threshhold, and once the doors closed, he snapped his fingers and a deluge slammed into Haven and the storm unleashed its fury.
Or his fury, I think.
Yanice and Deliah came down the steps, and practically fluttered and preened at the arrival of their actual (and preferred) employers.
"We warned her," Yanice told Korr with a demure, downward gaze.
Korr's pale eyes narrowed. "I'm sure you did. Excuse us. Ethat, remain here."
Ethat flopped down in the foyer and pouted.
"It's your own fault," Korr told his brother, "You ate the scholar, so now you're trapped in that form until you digest him, and you can't fit through the other doors. I have warned you about eating people."
Ethat belched.
"...ate...him?" Deliah echoed faintly.
"My brother has a number of proclivities, including devouring his prey," Korr said.
Yanice stared down at Ethat in polite horror, clearly reconsidering all her ambitious choices.
Ethat continued to pick at his teeth. There was a scraping sound and he spit out a piece of bone. Deliah fled with a gasp.
Itek herded me back into the study, and Asund closed the doors behind us.
Well, weren't they taking a lot of liberties. I glared at all of them. But it was hard to argue with them taking charge when I clearly didn't know how to be in charge myself. And poor Maris... he didn't deserve to die.
I didn't think, at least. Maybe he did. Everyone else seemed to think he deserved it.
"Why did you summon Maris?" Korr asked as soon as we were alone--Ethat would make sure the maids didn't listen in.
I backed around one of the tables so there was something between me and all of them. "I needed him to read a note. I can't read."
"You could have asked one of us."
"I'm trying not to run to you lot with every little problem." What did he want me to say, just tell him how much I needed them? How I was helpless without them?
Korr walked up to the edge of the table. He rested his fingertips on the fabric-covered surface, raking them lightly, and instantly conjured a reaction in my skin, which hungered for him to rake me like that.
I hadn't been with Korr. Just Ormiss and Itek and Ethat, if we wanted to count that. And I wasn't sure anymore if I wanted to count Itek... mounting... me like he had... even if I'd wanted it at the time. My scars twisted and ached like my soul, wracked by confusion.
Korr said, "Have one of your maids read it."
"They aren't my maids, they're yours on loan, and I don't trust them."
"You don't?" He seemed bewildered.
"They hate me, if you haven't noticed--"
"I haven't."
"Because they keep it from you," I said darkly. "They want to please you. They don't give a fuck about pleasing me. I'm just some mutt you took in off the streets, and come on, Korr, are you naive? They want to be your skirts, or they want to be seen by someone else advantageous. I am beneath them."
Korr seemed confused. Of course he was: he'd never had servants talk down to him. He had no idea what really happened with staff. And this was just a symptom of the entire problem. Right here. This. Shit that never even occurred to him. He just took it for granted that household staff would be inclined to stay in his good graces.
I glared at him. "So I am not letting them read anything for me. They'd just love to grind my face into my being illiterate. So I summoned Maris. I don't know why he attacked me. Yanice said beautiful blood? What the hell is beautiful blood?"
Ormiss shifted so suddenly his necklaces rattled and lightening crackled outside. Even Asund craned his neck to give me a what did you just say look.
I blushed.
Korr kept his tone strictly diplomatic. "You don't know what beautiful blood is?"
"I've never heard the term."
Itek craned his head around. "Never? You're sure?"
"She grew up in a dream-bubble," Asund said gruffly, expression dark and he shifted, clearly not wanting to talk about what we'd experienced with the Priestess.
The gods knew I didn't. My entire body surged with pain even dancing around those awful memories and what the Priestess had forced me to see. And what I'd felt.
I pushed my hand into my gut. I still felt hollow and empty.
Unicorn, unicorn, unicorn.
"Did Yanice tell you you had beautiful blood?" Itek asked.
"No, she just warned me from being around him," I said. "Which I don't understand why."
Korr watched, somehow capturing my attention with his pale gaze. "Demons, the touched, and the possessed are lured by the taste of mortal and angelic blood. Some have what they call beautiful blood, which is simply a tempting vintage. It's not something a non-touched can know or sense until it's too late. A few drops is not usually enough to drive them mad, especially a minor demon-touched like Maris."
"The ones driven mad by even a drop of mortal blood are typically culled," Itek added. "The Order--and their patrons--know if they can't keep their hunger under control that they'll be driven out. We never trusted Maris around you as a matter of great precaution, not because we actually thought he was a danger to you."
"He should have been able to resist," Korr agreed. "Unless you were bleeding heavily?"
"No, no, I had just been itching myself and had a few drops," I said. "I wasn't even bleeding. Yanice made sure, I must have moved? I can't imagine it was more than a tiny bead."
Asund came around the table. I backed up warily, then stopped. He stepped around behind me to examine my back. "I can see where she's been scratching it, but there's no blood even on her silks. She's right. It must have been no more than a bead."
"What was the note?" Itek asked.
"From Soir. Just an invitation to dinner tonight."
Ormiss, lurking in a corner, made a rather unpleasant noise, but I couldn't tell if it was rage or grief.
"Why is that Raven sniffing around her so intently?" Korr asked Asund.
"You think I would know? I don't. I don't run with these Haven wolves," Asund replied with a growl.
"Ravens are the ones who... delivered... her to that pocket realm," Itek said.
"I think the larger issue at the moment is what drove Maris to attack her," Asund said.
"He was intrigued by her the moment he was introduced. Many seem to be, though, so I dismissed it as a young demon-touched struggling with such things." Korr frowned.
Itek sighed. "But that's normal. We were drawn to her, she's a curiosity, of course a demon-touched would be intrigued as well. There was no indication it was more than what we'd have expected."
Korr's frown deepened and he stroked his chin with one hand, staring at me with his ice-colored eyes.
If he said unicorn, I was going to lose my temper.
"Are you going to accept Soir's invitation?" Asund inquired.
"Really? Now you're asking?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing outside the door anyway?" I bristled.
"Guarding you, of course. I am capable of being very discrete. Are you going to accept his offer?"
"Why would she do that?" Ormiss snapped, his voice tight and furious. "Why would you even insult her by asking?"
"Because I want to know where she's going to be," Asund growled back.
"That's not--"
Korr pointed at Ormiss. "Please shut up before you say something we will all regret."
Ormiss stormed out of the study.
My heart sank into some thorny abyss. I wanted to say something, but held back, even if it felt like my bones were getting pulled through my skin.
I had to do this. For a lot of reasons, even though they were all feeling more and more contrived. Except Korr had just proven--again--why it felt like we were just two people standing on opposite sides of an abyss.
I re-focused on Korr. "I hadn't thought about it. Maris latched on me like a leech before I could."
Korr's icy eyes were stormy, and reminded me of the storm raging outside. A crack of thunder shook the window panes and the wind howled, tearing at the house with angry fingers as rain lashed into it. He stepped around the table. "I will not ask if you are going to grace the Lord-Raven with your presence this evening."
"But?" I asked warily, skin jumping as he approached. I bumped into Asund, and my blood warmed. I swallowed as I looked up at Korr, not sure what I was supposed to feel, or what I was feeling at all. It felt like I was feeling everything all at once.
"Be careful of him," Korr's voice was low, his gaze troubled, and the icy magic that always swirled around him aching like a tooth. "And we can read your notes. Any of us. There's no reason for you to be in danger."
Any of us. Except me. And I was supposed to be the next Queen of the Hippocamp? "They're mine."
"And they're private?" he asked without any recrimination. He didn't get why this was a big deal, but he was willing to entertain that it was.
Damnit. I wanted to learn to read. I needed to learn how to read. I should not have to run to someone like a little child and ask them to read something as simple as a little scrawled note asking me to dinner. "They aren't addressed to you, are they."
"Fair enough," Korr said, tone hushed.
"Soir might know something. I'm wary of him," I said.
"Which is why you need to be careful. I've seen how he looks at you," Korr said quietly.
Asund rumbled something, but I couldn't tell if it was warning Korr to shut up or agreeing. Itek just looked gaunt.
I tried to keep my frayed nerves from fraying further. "Because he knows something. It's just a matter of figuring out what without giving away what I know."
"You know what you are."
"No, I don't! Yes, maybe I am what you think, but that's not an answer. Everything just has more questions! And how did I not know demons like to drink blood? Or can be driven insane by blood? Or beautiful blood? I've got to find out what I am! Where I've been! How I got there! And you're the ones who put that in my head!" My voice cracked. "I didn't care. I didn't question. I never wanted to go back to my old enclave! You are the ones who wanted explanations! Now I want them!"
"So let us help you. We can find them together. You don't have to go into a Raven's nest alone."
"Yes, I do," I said. "Soir thinks I'm an idiot, and I'm not sure he's wrong."
"You aren't stupid," Itek said.
"Oh, I'm not? I met demon-touched at home... wherever that was, but nobody ever warned me against them! They always seemed like just... people. But out here Yanice and Deliah were like oh, no, Theia, you shouldn't be alone with a demon-touched. I thought they were just being dramatic!"
Korr and Itek exchanged looks.
"To shifters," Itek told me, "They are just people, since we can't sense them the way humans can. The really corrupted ones are obvious, but the ones like Maris can pass. We have to be told to know them."
"But I know them," I said stubbornly.
"Because you're a unicorn, and I imagine that's on the list of unicorn abilities," Korr said.
"But you met demon-touched in your pocket realm," Itek said.
"Yes. They came and went, same as everyone else who came and went. Never met any ancient shifters though. Just ravens and wolves," I said. "Don't tell me that's unusual either, because I know it isn't. Gryphons, Pantere, Dragons, and Hippocamp are reclusive."
Korr thumbed his lips, beautiful face drawing together. His icy magic aura shifted and swirled.
"I wish I knew where I've been." The misery hit like a fist. Had I been hidden? Had that pocket realm been dreamed up just for me? What else didn't I know? If Asund hadn't been nearby, would Maris have just started chomping me? I chewed on my lip. "He was hard."
"Who was what?" Itek asked.
"Maris. He was licking me. He was also hard. Does that mean anything? Do demons also get hard when they're in a feeding frenzy?"
Itek and Korr exchanged troubled looks. Korr ran his thumb over his lips as he thought, staring intently at Itek as the two silently reflected on this. Given they didn't instantly say yes, that's normal, it hadn't been normal.
"No," Itek finally said. "Blood isn't sensual for them. Usually. Blood is something demons feast on to remain in this world. It's raw power for them. A blood frenzy mingled with lust is not typical. You weren't prey if he was of a mind to use his cock."
"Then what was I?" I asked.
"Nothing good," Asund rumbled.
Korr lowered his hand. "Demons--true demons--lust after purity. They adore purity, either to completely defile it, or, more commonly, to possess it so they can desecrate it over and over. They feed off the wanton and the hollowing. A vulnerable, locked-away, unicorn who has been kept so innocent and pure she doesn't even know the danger of a demon-touched--"
"No, that she has been raised to not fear them at all," Asund corrected.
"Would easily drive even a minor demon-touched insane with desire," Korr concluded. "Her presence alone probably could distract him, which we've already seen, but we were in the room."
Itek nodded. "Which probably kept him sharp to his urges."
"But even a drop of her blood."
"He sniffed the note," I said. "It was... weird."
"He was inhaling your scent," Itek said seriously. "The oils on your hand."
"It was more likely the bits of skin we all shed, constantly," Asund rumbled. "Her touch can purify fouled water. It possibly left traces on the paper. He never touched her before, did he?"
"No, and he didn't touch anything she had touched," Itek said.
"And then a single bit of blood," Korr concluded.
I shivered. Thunder smashed overhead and rattled the windows.
"Well, he's dead now," Asund rumbled, "He won't be telling his Order anything."
"Good." Itek nodded.
"Theia," Korr said, "If you are asked, lie about how much you were bleeding. Make up some lie you scratched yourself on something in the house. We can't hide that you have beautiful blood, but we can hide how little it took to trigger Maris' hunger. And we can't spot demons, we won't know until they're too close to you. You will need to watch for them. If they think you're more than just tasty prey, they will come for you."
"We need to tell Ormiss," Itek told Korr. "He's only sent for servants, not guards."
"Ethat and I are fully capable of handling this," Asund said gruffly.
"Except it's Ormiss' responsibility because she's in this house," Itek corrected. "We can't keep intervening and maintain appearances. It will look like the Elder shifter races and a werewolf enclave are unifying against the Younger shifters. You are a Captain in an Alpha's Guard. That Alpha is presumably loyal to the Lord-Wolf. You can't be acting as a personal bodyguard to an Hippocamp Lady."
"Itek's right," Korr agreed. "Ormiss can't officially ask us to protect her. He can, and we would all have to decline. He obviously isn't going to ask the Ravens to defend her. Not after what happened to the Princess. Right now it looks like happenstance we were nearby, but Ormiss is going to have to deal with this. If he appeals to us to help, we'll decline, and the Hippocamp will look diminished."
"It's going to be weeks before a guard can get here, if the Hippocamp Queen even permits one to come," Itek said. "She'll let his servants come, but he doesn't have his own military force."
My insides tumbled over each other. Why hadn't I known about demons? What else didn't I know? Because to me, the life I'd lived up to this point had been normal. But it seemed like it hadn't been normal at all: the bubble I'd been in hadn't been reality. It hadn't been accurate. It'd been a dream.
Fuck: I was such an idiot I didn't even know how big of an idiot I was.
I pulled at my lip.
"Theia?" Korr asked.
"Do you think that if I was in that dream-bubble that I was... taught things that'd make it easier to... control me?" I asked, not sure what I was asking. But if I'd been kept deliberately stupid. Like not knowing how dangerous demons were. Because nobody at the enclave had ever acted like the demon-touched were all that odd. Possession was dangerous, of course, but there'd never been a possessed to come through. But there'd been some demon-touched. But nobody had warned me.
Hell, I'd known Haven existed, but not a thing about how Haven worked, or that there'd been a Princess, or any of that.
I looked at Korr. "I understand. I'll try to be careful."
"I wish you would come back to us," he said softly, "if only so we can protect you."
"I need to do this. I have to be sure. I have to be sure I'm not going to..." I closed my eyes. "I have to be sure I'm not a monster."
"You aren't a monster. The demon-touched wanting you should be proof of that," he said.
"I could still be warped. Dangerous. And..." I closed my mouth. Even if I wasn't, if I was the last unicorn, my heart couldn't be broken. The nightmare of Asund with the Priestess flashed in my head, and unicorn this and unicorn that.
I was not the trinket. The thought of going back to before filled me with anguish. Being The Unicorn just made me into a pot to be filled up with everyone else's hopes and needs.
And in the case of Itek and Ormiss, something else. Pure stupid luck I hadn't gotten pregnant by either of them.
Korr pressed his hands together. "Theia, we don't know where you were, but wherever you were, it wasn't this world. Perhaps it was a pocket realm where you were hidden. Maybe it was created and controlled. If it's the former, we can't know what you don't know. If it's the latter, we have to assume you were only taught what your keepers intended you to know. If you won't return to us, please allow one of us to guard you. At least until Ormiss can send for Hippocamp guards."
"It will only attract attention, Korr."
"You already attract attention."
"And I don't want more."
"I suspect that will be unavoidable. You live here." He gestured to the walls with one hand. "For now, all the attention of Haven is on you, and there is nothing you can do to make that stop, for good or ill."
"Then how do you lot not attract attention?" I demanded.
"We do," Korr said, tilting his fingers towards me. He acted like he was going to say something else, but whatever it was, he didn't.
Itek shifted and bent his head, sheets of tawny gold hair sliding across his shoulders. "There are always eyes watching us, but our mundane movements are no longer an interest to anyone but spies. Eventually, everyone in Haven got bored. When we first arrived, we caused a stir. Two dragons and a gryphon. You are the new curiosity."
"Part of that is our doing, unfortunately," Korr added. "Everyone is interested in why we are interested in you. And of course, Lady Theia of the Hippocamp is a mystery they can't resist."
I weighed my assortment of really shitty choices. I turned away from them and stared at the wall, trying to get my thoughts in order. My life before I'd come to Haven hadn't been real. It'd been a construct. I reached behind my shoulder and felt along the scar. "I'm going to see Soir tonight. If I don't go, people will think I've been scared off."
"How long do you think you can string along the Lord-Raven?" Asund asked.
"Not long." I pressed my fingertips into my scars, sadness pooling in the hollow cavity of my chest. I searched Asund's handsome face for clues. All it would take would be one messenger from his home enclave for all of Haven to know we were consorts. And if I humored Soir too long, I might inadvertently cause a war. Or at least make a very dangerous enemy.
Not that Ormiss would care--Ormiss wanted to have it out with the Ravens over his cousin.
Asund slid his fingers under my chin and tilted my face up to look at him. I almost pulled away, but his fingers clenched down gently to steady me. "Don't start doubting yourself now, Theia."
I lifted my chin out of his grip.
Itek looked around the cloth-draped study. He lifted some of the cloths and found a sheet of old paper and a charcoal pencil. "Would you like to send your reply to Soir?"
Something flickered in Korr's expression, but he said nothing.
"You'll write it?" I asked Itek.
"I had a better idea to mess with the Raven's head," Itek said. "Your hand, please."
I offered my hand.
He took the old charcoal pencil, which was crumbly, and rubbed it on my fingertip. Then he set the piece of paper down on the table. I pressed my fingertip into the paper, leaving a partial, sworling mark. Itek neatly folded it into a four-pointed star, his fingers moving fast and deft. He offered it to me with a wicked smile. "That should keep the Raven guessing."
"Please be careful," Korr's voice had a slight waver of worry in it.
"I will be." I didn't have much of a choice. I had to be careful. I might spark a war, a disaster, or the end of the world.
Maybe this was why I'd been in that bubble realm...
/***********
Peepssssss...
Office Intern would like you all to know that I am a terrible kitten, apparently. She tries to lead me to her foodbowl. The bowl has food in it. She takes a few bites, gives me a meaningful look, then looks at me in disgust, like "you stupid kitten. EAT THE FOOD." She also tries to lead me out of my office to the front room in a "we sit on the couch now."
She also has learned the sound of her brother (Office Security) getting brushed in the next room over, and she will race out of bed to present herself to my husband for brushing. She is also obsessed with tummy rubs. In fact, right now she is on the floor by my desk, tummy up, pouting that her tummy is not being rubbed.
(And now her brother just came over to bathe her like "I WILL GIVE YOU CUDDLES, SISTER"--he's a cuddly mush-- and she's like NOOOOOO RAWR PANCAKE PAW TO THE FACE and he races off to go hide under the rug)
She ALSO has learned the noises the PS5 makes when you turn it on/off. We have "game time" here at night, where husband plays games and I mostly knit or read funny Reddit posts to him (or we play 2 player). Turn on PS5 noise? She heads to the couch. Turn off? She races off the couch because it's dinner time. Her brother will swarm as dinner time approaches like "mew mew is it time?" and she's like /snore until BOOP BOOP then FOOM! She launches herself off the couch towards the bowls.
~ Merry
(peak pantster)
***********/