Warnings: angst, internalized homophobia
Kate Mulgrew
"Y/n!" my name was screamed pausing my movements momentarily "what? you made it perfectly clear you're not gay but you'd gladly eat me out!" yelling as I turned to face the woman salty tears streaming down my face "it's not like that" Kate tried to reason "no of course not'' I dryly chuckled.
"I keep flicking my mind through everything and all I can think is that I love, loved you enough to lose myself completely" my voice wavered as I stood strong "don't say that" Kate mumbled "don't say what? the fact I was so utterly in love with you that I can't recognize myself anymore" I stated with a huff.
I could see the battle between Kate's eyes as clear as glass her inner turmoil showing but anger clouded my vision although I couldn't really be mad, never all she needed to do was smile and I'd crumble to nothing at her feet. This was my chance if I didn't leave now I knew I never would, Kate had this internalized homophobia holding her back my hand had been dropped awkwardly to my side on multiple occasions not thinking much until I realised.
"What if I were a man?" she looked like a lost child and maybe we all are but for now I needed answers "huh?" playing dumb "if I were a man...you'd hold my hand yes?" she only nodded lightly "and now if I were a man you'd kiss me like it was just the two of us right?" my lip trembled "yes" she muttered softly.
"Kate I understand you grew up differently than I but who cares what anyone else thinks" I spoke clearly as I made my way towards her "sometimes it's best not to care" I mumbled before lightly kissing her soft lips but only she didn't kiss back. My heart shattered not because she didn't kiss back but because this is no longer in our cards this is too late we'll never work again. "I geuss this is goodbye" stepping back, "I think so" Kate responded lowly tears welling in her blue eyes "goodbye Katie" no more tears I thought as I turned walking away missing the little "goodbye Y/n my love" that she mumbled succumbing to her own heartbreak.