Shivaay angrily entered the house and he was just about to shut the door of his room when Annika put her foot in between and stopped him from shutting it.
"Shivaay, please ek baar meri baat sunn lijiye"
"Annika, I am really getting late. Leave the door"
"No Shivaay, I won't do it until you listen to me"
"Don't test my patience" Shivaay said with gritted teeth and Annika got a bit intimidated. Yet, she did not back down.
"I am not testing anything. All I am asking you to do is talk to me. You acting like this is not going to make the situation any better" She tried to make him understand.
"I am really really angry. Don't force me to vent it all on you" The frown lines on his forehead deepend as he spoke.
"I think you know that I am not scared of your anger. In fact, I am the only one who has seen almost all of your facets. So, you can't intimidate me with your angry young man avatar, samjhe?" Annika said, giving back his tadi.
"I don't care. Right now, I am getting late" And just on cue, Shivaay's phone rang and he showed her the caller. Shivaay picked up and kept the call on speaker.
"Shivaay sir, the clients are coming in an hour. You had told me that since you wanted to go over the presentation and make some changes, you would come early. Are you coming sir? The meeting is quite important"
"Yes Mishra. I will be there. You keep the presentation ready" Shivaay replied and cut the call. He looked at Annika with raised eyebrows.
"So what? Whatever happens, I am not letting you go without talking" Annika's confidence was touching the sky. But that was because she knew he shouldn't be allowed to vent up his feelings as it will only bring destruction later.
Shivaay noticed her in thoughts and taking that chance, he shut the door.
"Uh Shivaay, I won't leave you" Shivaay chuckled a bit as he heard her bang the door.
Shivaay came out after 20 minutes to see Annika set the table. He went closer and saw her serving the pasta she had made yesterday. She looked up and saw him. She scoffed as he sat down.
"Look Annika, I know what you want to talk about but right now, I am not in the right headspace to discuss that. At least you try to understand"
He didn't hear her reply and looked up to see her forwarding him the plate and the cup of coffee.
"It's okay. I understand. First finish this and then have this medicine" He looked sideways to see a small dish with two tablets.
"Kya hai yeh?" He asked taking a bite of the pasta.
"Aapko nahi pata? I am surprised. Yeh headache ki tablets. But you need to first eat something to have those"
Shivaay was genuinely touched by this act and he heaved a sigh.
"Annika" She looked at him to see a serious expression on his face. "Did I do wrong?"
Annika raised her eyebrows in question, showing her confusion.
"About Om?" He asked.
"I don't think I am a good person to judge that Shivaay because I haven't seen Om when he was neck deep into all this. So if you feel that what you have done is right, so I trust you on that. As your best friend, you will always have my support" Annika assured him and Shivaay gave her a small smile before wiping his face with his hands tiredly.
"Annika, whatever happened yesterday came as a huge shock for me. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong with Om but I didn't prod him further. Shayad mein aisa karta toh baat kal tak aati hi nahi. That day when your company was inaugurated, I had noticed something amiss with him and I had asked him as well. He lied to me. He lied. He has never done that" Shivaay was almost breaking down but before he could completely shatter, he controlled himself.
Annika was minutely observing him and saw him carefully masking his emotions.
"Shivaay, he was in a soup. Maybe we can try understanding his point of view as well" Annika spoke after a lot of contemplation.
"Annika, raat bhar wohi karne ki koshish ki meine. I didn't need to wait till morning to know about the reason. I knew it was something big. But my problem was Om's attitude in the midst of all this. You know, the moment I saw the open bottle of sleeping pills under his bed, my heart stopped beating for a moment. It was by luck that he didn't have them. And I don't know why he couldn't even tell me. I know that he has his own way of coping up with things but this is the one thing I have told him to never hide from me. He knows how scared I get, he knows that the situation is handled only when I come and yet he doesn't even consider me. I can understand when it was years ago but over the time also, he has been like this. That is why I needed to make a spare key to his room"
Annika slowly inched her hand towards his which was kept on the table. She held his hand and he didn't take it back. Her warm hands were acting as a soother for him. She didn't talk but he knew she was providing him a safe space for him to open up.
"And about yesterday" He continued "He was suffering since almost two months Annika. I didn't even know. He really loved Riddhima and the way she mercilessly broke his heart was too much for him to handle. And since he didn't tell anyone, he was torturing himself more. I was really scared yesterday. Kuch bhi ho sakta tha. I know I should have acted like that but he needs to know that he can't do this everytime. He has to try to cope. Mujhe nahi toh doctor ko batana chahiye tha, family mein se kisi aur ko bhi bata sakta tha, which he didn't do. He does not consider the immense repercussions his actions will have on the people around him who really love him" Shivaay finished and Annika saw a wave of determination pass through his eyes.
"But Shivaay, he isn't in a good headspace right now. He is emotionally and physically weak" Annika asked, recollecting Om's broken self.
"I have seen him in worse situations like these Annika. I know what I am doing. This time, he can be in a position where he can understand what I mean and build himself up. Because that is the only way for him to be strong later in life. I understood yesterday ki har baar mein nahi rahunga. He cannot depend on me to calm him down and handle him everytime he gets such attacks. I don't mean that I am letting him go completely. I can't do that. I love him a lot and that is why get so fearful about him. He not going to therapy worsened the situation yesterday and I don't want that to happen again. So, I have to be firm and strict in front of him"
"Ohh, I understand your reasons. And I don't object to them. I am sorry ki meine aapko itna force kiya" Annika apologized.
"That isn't the only reason" Annika looked at him confused and he continued, "I personally am very hurt and angry at him. He didn't share with me about Riddhima, he didn't tell me that bade papa asked him to join business. I know he knew which we wouldn't have known"
"You are talking about not sharing problems?" Annika asked him with a smirk and raised eyebrow. Shivaay looked at her sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck.
"Yes, but those are life threating situations and I am well capable in handling those wheras Om isn't. Mein dimaag se sochta hu Annika and that is why it is easy to tackle difficult situations. Om dil se sochta hai and that is why he gets emotional at the drop of a hat"
"Okay, Mr. Philosopher. Now finish your food and coffee fast otherwise Mishraji will call once again. I don't want you to be late because of me" She joked and Shivaay also let out a little laugh at that.
Shivaay finished his food and got up when Annika also followed him.
"Will you talk to Om now?" She asked him slowly.
Shivaay turned back and saw Annika look at him fearfully.
"Not for now at least. And don't force me. I hope you understand my reasons"
But Annika didn't reply as her brain had already began running a marathon.
"You understand, don't you?" He asked her once again when he didn't get her response.
"Umm, yes. Yes, I do" She gulped and said.
"Thank you. I will get going now. I have a meeting"
"Okay" She replied and followed him to the living room where he was now wearing his shoes.
"Hey, aren't you going to office?" He asked.
"No, actually, I thought to rest today. I can manage my work from home as well"
"Oh good. You actually do need rest
I will also try to come early"
"Okay. I will prepare the food for you. Take care" She wished him.
He smiled at her and left the house.
Annika then continued with her daily chores. All the while, the scenarios from yesterday were playing in her mind. For the first time, she couldn't understand on how to handle the situation
On the other hand, Shivaay came back to his cabin exhausted after two consecutive energy draining meetings. His eyebrows scrunched further seeing the person present in the room.
"What are you doing here?" Shivaay asked exasperatedly as he scratched his temple.
The person turned back and his face depicted an apologetic look.
"I am really sorry Shivaay. I understand all of your anger, disappointment and hurt but ek baar meri baat sun le. Please"
"I don't want to listen anything Omkara. Whatever happened was enough to explain everything to me. So, please go from here as I am really busy"
Om remain unfazed by this statement of Shivaay and moved forward to hold his hand. But Shivaay quickly jerked his hands back and put them in his pocket.
Om's heart broke but he still continued. "Shivaay, I know I am reason for your condition but believe me, I hid things from you because I didn't want to trouble you more. You already had a lot going on your plate and I didn't want to add more to it"
"All for one, one for all. Are these mere words for you?" Shivaay asked Om after a few awkward moments of silence. He had walked over towards the windows of his spacious cabin with his back now facing Om.
Om was very shocked at his question. Never ever he thought that Shivaay would ask him such a thing.
"Shivaay, you know how important you are to me. Even more than Rudra and I can never bear any problem befalling you. And I will always stand by you by upholding our mantra of 'All for one, one for all'. Don't do this please. I am very bad already"
"And what about all of us. What about the pain our elders especially, Badi ma and bade papa had to go through? What about the fear I saw in Annika and Rudra's eyes? What about the despair Dadi went through? And what about the myriad of emotions I went through seeing you break like this. Even after you promising me that you would never leave me alone, you had made full plans yesterday to destroy yourself. So, don't even try to explain anything to me. More than the physical wounds, your actions have hurt me more. It hurt here" Shivaay turned back and pointed at his heart. His tone was still monotonous but Om could understand the hurt and fear in his voice.
"I understand. But Shivaay.... "
"You have gone through a lot Omkara. And you are stressing your mind more. I don't think that is correct for you. So, if you really want to do something for me, go back home and rest. I don't want to argue. I will take care of Riddhima and. now, she won't trouble you more" Shivaay said in an ordering tone and Om had to listen.
Shivaay again turned his back but suddenly felt heavy and knew that Om had backhugged him.
"I can't survive without you Shivaay. You ignoring me hurts but I know that it is my punishment. I won't be able to take this chasm between us for a long time. Please please, don't hate me. I am going through your ignorance with much difficulty and if you hate me also, I won't be able to breathe. Please" Om whispered in Shivaay's ears and hurriedly left the cabin without waiting for Shivaay's response.
As soon as Shivaay heard the door close, he went and crashed on the chair. Yesterday's, sleeplessness and tiredness was catching up to him.
"I don't even know if I am doing the correct thing or not? But I reacted in my raw fear of losing Om. I can't live without him as well. He has to realize that how important he is to me. I know that he is very weak emotionally but I have been trying to make him strong by supporting him, making him to go to therapy and making him believe in himself. And yet, I feel like a failure as a brother when he tries to harm himself like this"
Shivaay's phone suddenly rang and he picked it up absentmindedly.
"Sorry bhaiya, I tried a lot to not let O meet you but he was really scared and impatient. I finally had to agree to let him meet you. I offered him to drop him there but he insisted on going alone. I just hope he comes back soon" Rudra blabbered.
"He will come home soon Rudra. Take care of him and keep me updated. Give him proper food and on no account should he left alone. Understand?" Shivaay instructed without paying attention to Rudra's blabbers.
"Okay" Rudra said and cut the call sensing Shivaay's tone.
Shivaay laid his head back on the chair after questioning himself some more.