INTO THE STARS
———
BRINLEY
Oh, God...
Is death by receiving head a thing? I sure fucking hope not because I would've been six feet under long ago.
Malachi's tongue works on my swollen clit as his fingers plunge in and out of me. A moan threatens to escape my mouth, which I have to tamp down. That would be one way for our current roommates to find out about... whatever this is.
My fingers thrust into the almost-black strands of hair on Malachi's head, holding him steady in the place that brings stars to my vision.
"Fuck..." I groan out when he works me faster and faster, as if knowing I am nearing my orgasm.
He halts to release a chuckle; the vibration wracking against my bare skin, furthering my pleasure. "You taste so, so fucking good, Jones."
And just like that, his tongue operates harder on my clit, his fingers push in and out of me and the stars return. The impending orgasm sweeps over me, my body squirming from the pleasure and I am sure the grip I have on his hair pulled out some strands from how hard I was pulling on it. A moan falls out of my mouth, loudly, and I know there was no stopping that sound from escaping.
Let's just pray that the walls aren't too thin, and Holden is a heavy sleeper.
After the pleasure coursing through my body subsides, Malachi stands from his kneeling spot on the ground, his gaze penetrating through me. I cannot read his impassive expression while he peruses me. He stands there like a statue, and I wish I could just receive one thought running through his mind as he stares at me with a wistful face.
I sit up from the bed, righting my hair, which I know is sticking in many places right now. The air in my bedroom is thick with the smell of sex and Malachi's intoxicating scent. No matter how hard I try to resist the urge to look at Malachi and his body in front of me, my eyes drift to him.
His grey eyes connect with mine, and I narrow it down to my imagination when I notice them soften the tiniest bit. His gaze doesn't waver—like always—holding my eyes captive and entranced.
Malachi clears his throat, shutting his eyes and reopening them, diverting them to a completely different position. "Meet me on the balcony in fifteen minutes?" He states this sentence as more of a question than a statement.
I nod, curious to see why he wants to meet me there.
He reaches his hand out, his pinky extended. I hook mine with his, glancing down at the place where our hands are connected.
I gaze up at him just as he glimpses down at me, unhooking our fingers and leaving without uttering a word. As he walks out, I watch his back muscles move with each step. A slight glaze coats his bare skin and I can't place how it may have gotten there.
・ ・ ・
As promised, fifteen minutes later, I am sitting on the balcony on the verge of freezing and ready for the day.
Snow layers on the railing, threatening to fall. Flurries fall from the cloud-filled sky and, just like always, I can see people traveling down the mountain, looking like tiny ants from this far distance. With two days left of this trip, I am planning on spending as much time on the mountain.
Breaking the silence, Malachi opens the balcony door, strolling out looking like a figment of my worst intentions. He looks around the familiar view of the mountains and the tree-lined backyard. I glimpse down at the snow-coated grass and the hot tub that brings back all sorts of memories of Malachi and me. Memories of us kissing in the moonlight...
I avert my gaze to Malachi, his gray eyes already on me, blazing with an indescribable heat that brings that same flush I felt before when his tongue was on me. He blinks and whatever I must've seen vanishes.
"I didn't think you'd come," Malachi mutters, taking a seat in the empty deck chair adjacent to me.
"I promised, didn't I?" I shrug, feigning nonchalance.
I won't lie and say the only reason I came out here right now wasn't because of pure curiosity. It was. Whatever Malachi wants from me right now, I want to know because of this weird intrigue and pull I feel towards him.
"Why did you want me to meet you here?" I whisper.
Unease seeps inside of me when he remains silent. His expression holds the same vacant look as always, his eyes void as he stares ahead and I cannot help myself but gape openly at him. Malachi's long legs stretch out in front of him in a wide stance while he rests his head against the palm of his hand.
Finally, he inhales a deep breath. "I... I don't know."
Again, the quiet returns, so loud, but I don't feel like I am suffocating in it. The moment Malachi's stare settles on me, shivers prickle my skin and I know it isn't because of the icy air. In my periphery, I note how his perusal follows down my frame.
"Question," Malachi says, and I can hear the slightest bit of a smirk in the way he speaks.
I swivel my head to look him in the eyes, catching the smallest smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. With my eyes, I prompt him to continue.
"Is that my hoodie?"
I glance down and, sure enough, I am wearing his hoodie.
"Y'know, I learned something," I tell him, disregarding his question because we both know the answer to it. He left it in my room this morning and I was too lazy to find something else to wear. Ergo, his hoodie being on my body.
"What did you learn?" he asks, clearly humoring me with a smirk still painted on his face.
"Smiling can be contagious," I inform, matter-of-factly.
"Really?" His tone evokes utter sarcasm. "Well, isn't it a good thing I am vaccinated, then, Sweetheart?"
A smile breaks out on my face, irrevocably, and I can't hold back the brief laugh that escapes either. In my peripheral vision, a half-hearted smile, revealing his white, straight teeth, appears on his face, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't just make my entire day.
Point proven.
The line between what we are is blurring. I can feel it. Each of our secret moments together blurs the line further. Each piece of insight into Malachi's past or who he is as a person clouds our agreement. And I can feel myself grasping and longing for those small moments between us—moments where there is nothing but honesty and trust.
I tolerate him, and he tolerates me, as far as I am concerned. Whatever we started as is long gone. I no longer hate him and I think that is reciprocated.
"Question."
This time the word comes from my mouth, hushed and almost getting lost in the atmosphere and tension encircling us.
"What's going to happen between us when we return to campus?" We only have two days left here at the cabin. Things won't be as easy as they are right now. If people catch us together here, we don't need an excuse and can simply blame it on bumping into each other. People manage relationships like ours, but the risk of someone potentially seeing us together on campus and spreading it to gossip-crazed students niggles in the back of my mind. Spreading it to people like Ben or Anna...
Malachi studies me for a moment, his eyes focusing on my face, occasionally glancing down at my lips. His lips separate and a few concise words form a response to my question with a casual shrug. "We'll figure it out."
I nod in understanding. We will figure it out. We have been sneaking around underneath everyone's noses this entire trip.
The sound of nature sheathes us like it always does whenever we are together. I swear, the minority of the time we spent together consists of us conversing, and the majority is either us staring at each other or in complete silence.
"Why did you hate me when we first met?" I ask, my mouth working faster than my mind when that question exits it.
I fixate my eyes straight ahead, knowing with everything in me that Malachi won't answer my stupid question. Why should I worry why he didn't like me when we first met? All that matters now is that we have gotten over that.
With each sharp inhale and exhale, disappointment sweeps over me. As stupid as that question was, I really wish he would at least answer it. Not for me, but for him. There is so much going on in his mind. That is why he lives his life in so much silence, because his thoughts are too loud. Maybe, if he let them out to the world for someone else to hear, they might quieten...
Malachi clears his throat and my gaze snaps to him. He straightens in his chair and I try to refrain from letting the surprised smile creeping onto my face out when he shrugs. "It is easy to hate and difficult to love. That is the scheme of how things work." He pauses and I pray he continues. The way he speaks is... utterly hypnotising. "From a young age, I realized the reason there was so much hate and crime in our world was because it was the easy way out for people. I have had enough hardship in my life to know I'd rather take the simple route of hating everyone than have someone feign love for me out of pity or obligation."
Malachi directs his attention to his fidgeting hands, that tap at a steady pace on his rapidly bouncing leg.
"Kai..." I murmur in my most candid tone.
I know nothing about his past, but no one would have such an insightful and... sad outlook if it weren't for something tragic haunting them.
Malachi has his demons and they plague him daily. I saw him after those demons crept into his sleep. That first night together, when we met on the balcony, I don't know exactly what it was, but I know the demons his mind has created came back.
"Kai," I repeat and this time his eyes connect with mine, void, but I sense there is so much going on behind them. "You might not care, but I am here. If you need someone to talk to or just need someone... I am here for you." Not just because I care about you, but because everyone deserves someone they can go to.
Malachi moves his head in the smallest of nods but just that slight movement conveys so much more than he is letting on. I just know it.
I remain in the deck chair, feeling like I need to do something with my body. Lifting myself from my seat, I need to alleviate the restlessness flowing through my body. I take a few steps to the railing overlooking the backyard and grabbing a handful of snow. Shivers explode on my skin and this time, it is a mix of the cold and Malachi's stare.
I compact the ball of snow into a solid snowball. Turning to face Malachi, I lift my hand with the snowball up, a cheeky smirk on my face. I lift an eyebrow and judging by his face; he knows what I am asking. The air between us changes drastically from what it just was.
Malachi follows, grabbing a much larger handful of snow and patting it into a snowball. Our eyes are glued to one another as we wait for the other to make the first move.
I narrow my eyes, challenging him to do it. He just smirks and sends a playful wink my way. The things that wink does to me should be illegal.
At the same time, we both launch our snowballs, his narrowly missing my frame and mine hitting him right on the shoulder. Quickly, I grasp another mound of snow and repeat forming it into a ball. Malachi does the same at a much more chilled and unhurried pace.
There isn't much room to manoeuvre around on the balcony, with limited space and two deck chairs to dodge. I move towards the door and when Malachi takes a step closer; I launch my snowball. It just skims his ear and he shakes his head with a lopsided grin spread across his face. When his gaze settles on me, it evokes heat in my bloodstream. I am acutely aware of the snowball he is still holding and I am aware of the miniscule steps he is making.
He throws the snowball somewhere that isn't even in close vicinity of me and I snort. "Are you missing on purpose?"
Malachi taps his temple with faux thoughtfulness, still grinning when he takes another step closer towards me. "That's presumptuous."
I hold his gaze, entranced in everything about him in a way I have never been with anyone before. Strands of his hair fall against his forehead, casting a shadow on his eyes when he bends his head to look me in the eye. His full, pink lips are pulled upwards in a smile and his captivating eyes gaze at me openly, drinking me in.
Chest to chest, we are flush against each other. Our breathing syncs and tension brews within the confined yet open space. My eyes flicker down to his lips, wanting to do nothing but savour them all day long. Malachi's eyes do the same thing, flaming with fervour.
"Kiss me," I mutter, my voice suddenly hoarse.
His lips are on mine a moment later. My eyes slam shut momentarily and I can feel every crevice of Malachi's body when he presses forward, urging every inch of space between us away.
His tongue fights for entrance to my mouth and I relent, our tongues intermingling and fighting for dominance. I feel Malachi's hand lacing through the strands of my hair, travelling down to grip my jaw, keeping my face steady. I hold my hands on his chest and when I crave for our kiss to go deeper; I intertwine my fingers in his slightly damp hair. Malachi's tongue drives deeper into my mouth and I utmost moan from the sensation. The entirety of my body is aflame, and I have never felt this close to anyone in my life.
There is something in this kiss that differs from our others. Something more personal and truthful. Unlike our others, it doesn't feel as lustful either. This kiss feels like the breath of air I didn't know I needed. My saving breath.
One of our conditions in this agreement was no feelings, but with each passing day and more shared moments with Malachi, I am questioning if this could have remained as a mutual attraction or... if it was a sinking ship from the start.