[TW SELF HARM]
I was having fun.
pov. Rui <3
Fun? I was.. having fun?
I suppose I was.
Hm.
I see...
I turned to where Tsukasa was practicing, he was truly fantastic at this. Emu and Nene were also doing very well.
I was slightly envious at how well they did, meanwhile I've been stuck until Luka helped me.
After quite a while of practice.. we were finally done.
Emu flopped onto the ground.
"EEEEEEE!!" she squealed happily.
Nene was panting and sat down.
I sat down as well, Tsukasa soon joining the circle.
Nene sat next to me resting her head on my shoulder.
"Rui.. are you okay..?" She asked me in a whisper.
"Nene I'm alright, you don't need to worry about me." I said smiling.
"Aww that's so cute!!" Emu said happily.
Looking at Tsukasa he looked a bit jealous of Nene.
"Are you two uh..?" Tsukasa asked.
Nene shook her head.
"I like girls, he likes guys.. it's more like we see each other as siblings." Nene said.
"Oh I see." Tsukasa said, he looked a bit relieved.
"I have to go home." I said
"Alright! See you tomorrow, Rui!" Tsukasa said.
I smiled and left.
~~~~~~~√THAT NIGHT
pov. Tsukasa ..</3
I sighed as I entered the house, I walked straight past my sister's room. She was asleep and I didn't want to wake her up.
I dropped my bag and went straight to the bathroom, I grabbed a washcloth and began washing my face.
"You? A star..? Please! Don't make me laugh, someone as pathetic as you could never be a star, no matter how many lives you live!"
I dropped the cloth.
Calm down Tsukasa.. that's all in the past..
"That's not acting, that's just you being stupid!!!"
No that's not true!! I..will be a star..!
I look at myself in the mirror, someone was behind me reaching out to grab my neck.
I turned around, and nobody was there. I was completely and utterly alone in the room.
My body began to shake, I moved my shaky hand and slapped myself. The pain. It felt... Deserved.
I slapped myself again, and again. And again.
I hate myself. I'm no star. I'm just a nobody.
It hurts a lot.. but I don't care.
The pain, I deserve it.
I need more.
I don't care how much it hurts.
"Aha.. hahahaha...!" I laughed at the image of myself in the mirror it was pathetic!
Wait.. what am I doing? Why am I doing this..? I need to become a star for Saki!!
I pulled my hand away from my cheek and took deep breaths.
I had left a mark, so I grabbed some of Saki's makeup and covered the mark.
I left the washroom, I was greeted by Saki.
"Um.. Hi big brother.." Saki said.
"Ah! Saki hello!" I said smiling.
"Are you Uhm.. okay..?" Saki asked.
"What do you mean Saki? I'm perfectly fine! A star such as myself is always doing well and perfect!" I said.
"Oh, well I heard you laughing in there and I got worried since you don't usually randomly start laughing while in the bathroom.. especially not that maniacal." Saki said.
"Oh! I was working on my evil laugh for a play!" I lied.
Saki's eyes lit up a bit "Ohhhh!! That makes more sense now!", She said.
"But of course!! A shining star such as your dearest elder brother must practice with absolute max confidence!!" I strike a pose.
"Alright!" Saki said, she believed me wholeheartedly.
I felt..pity.
Why pity? I don't get it..
I pity her for having a brother like me. That's what it is.
It hurts to breathe.
"I'm getting tired,so I'm going to take a nap." I said
"Alright!! Rest well!" Saki said hugging me then going to her room.
I headed to my own room and curled up on my bed burying my head into my pillow.
I will be a star. I have to..
For myself..
For Saki...
For Emu.. Nene
For Rui.
Rui..?
I want to be .. the one to make him smile.
Every day, I want to make him smile.
Rui is so amazing, I can't even compare to him.
But not everything is as it seems.. is it?
There's definitely something wrong..
Emu's been acting weird too come to think of it..
Why?
Did something.. happen..?
It's bothering me.. and so is my cheek.
God damn it hurts like hell!!!
But alas, it doesn't matter if it hurts.
Suffering is part of life.
If you've never suffered, you've never lived.
You are not human if you don't suffer at least once.
Nobody has a perfect life, there's always things that trigger other incidents.
Huh..
I shouldn't delve too deep into their personal lives, that's not a very good thing to do, however I cannot help but wonder what's going on.
~~~~~~~
pov. Rui
Thinking back, Mom is the reason I'm still here. She wasn't supposed to come home until at least two hours later. But she got home early.
Nevertheless.. I'm grateful I didn't die, I'm still in shock that I'm alive, but I'm still here which is kind of relieving.
I seen Nene's reaction.. and it was scary, I don't want to leave her or anyone ever again..
I need to find a way to improve my mental health, so I can stay with the others.
I don't want things to end up the same.. I can't let it happen.
~~~~~~~√ TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER SIX, "Falling in Love is Scary... But I like that."
Words: 931
Ciao!! <3