"This is like our first official date, if you think about it." Theo chuckled as he swirled his finger in the top of his butterbeer, sucking the contents off when he was finished.
A small smile pulled at my lips while I thought about it, and I giggled at the thought. His smile grew wider at the sound of my laughter, liking the affect he had on me.
"Guess it is." I breathed out, taking a drink of my own butterbeer. Before I even had the chance to lick my lips clean, his thumb ran across my upper lip and wiped the foam off for me.
"You are the cutest girl," he chuckled, leaning over in the booth we shared and pressing his lips to my temple. I leaned further into him, placing my face in his neck and giggled to hide my blush.
"How was your week, love?" He mumbled into my ear, while I stayed in the crook of his neck.
"Good," I whispered, pressing my lips against his soft skin and inhaling deeply.
Honey and vanilla.
That's what Theo's scent reminded me of. So sweet. So pure. So Theodore.
"He hasn't bothered you, right?" He asked lowly. "He hasn't said anything to me, which I'd take as a good sign." He sighed, moving his head so I'd have to look at him.
I nervously bit my lips and shook my head. It was the truth. I hadn't seen or heard from Draco in weeks. Just a few glances in class.
He finally gave up making my life hell. I think he was tired of it. He didn't try to rekindle our friendship, he just avoided me completely. Maybe it was for the best.
"No. He doesn't talk to me anymore." I mumbled, letting out a sigh as my sight fell to the table in front of us.
"I know it hurts, Em." Theo whispered, cupping my cheek in his hand and rubbing it softly with his thumb.
"I don't care about him anymore. I think I'm just going to be sad for a really long time. Not even because I miss him as a boyfriend, I get people have stupid teenage relationships all the time," I chuckled. "I miss our friendship. That's what hurts the most." I sighed. He nodded understandingly while I gazed into his eyes.
"I think it's okay to be sad for a long time over that." He reassured me. A weak smile found its way to my lips before I leaned in and kissed him softly.
"But you make me happy. That's what matters to me." I told him, pinching his cheek lightly between my pointer finger and my thumb.
"And you make me the luckiest guy around." He responded. I tilted my head as I looked at him, and felt warmth swarm my chest.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him timidly. He nodded his head rapidly, his brows knitting together as I spoke.
"Of course, baby," he chuckled, "you know you can ask me anything." He said flatly. I took a deep breath before I turned to face him completely.
"Do you know anything about Draco's father?" I asked him quietly. His entire face shifted and he hid away all his emotions. The same look Draco gives me everyday.
"I'm not supposed to talk about that kind of stuff." He cleared his throat before he removed his hand from my face and turned forward to drink his butterbeer.
"Well, he was in the graveyard that night, and he made sure I got out of there. Plus, my mother was saying stuff about him and Draco, and I know my father is working again. I saw his arm when I was home. It's not scarred over anymore." I whispered, making Theo shift in his seat uncomfortably. "And you boys all have this weird, secretive thing going on. You all talk in code. Like about commitments and—"
"Emelia." Theo warned, the first time I had ever heard him speak so harshly towards me. I flinched back slightly from surprise. "I can't." He whispered, shaking his head. "I can't talk to you about this." He told me again.
I nodded my head softly before I turned back around myself. I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth and felt the awkwardness wash over us.
"I just thought it would explain what was going on with Draco, that's all." I mumbled, swinging my feet under the table to distract myself.
"Draco is just... You'll figure it all out sooner or later. If your parents don't explain everything, I will before shit hits the fan." He finally mumbled, breaking the silence.
"Why can't you tell me now?" I asked him softly, moving my hand to lay over his on top of the table. A smile crossed his lips as he squeezed my fingers. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
"I just can't, love." He sighed, and I gave up.
•
"Theo, stop. I have to finish this chapter or Snape is going to kill me." I chuckled, feeling his lips press against my exposed shoulder while I laid on my stomach on his bed.
"Just do it later," he mumbled, sliding my tank top strap out of the way for more access to my warm skin.
"I can't," I laughed, closing the book and rolling over under him so I was on my back. "And I don't have to listen to you." I said confidently, making his smile grow even larger.
"Says who?" He chuckled, trailing his fingers up and down my sides, applying pressure every so often to tickle me. I burst into a fit of giggles under him, flailing in his arms to break free.
"Stop!" I laughed, gasping for air as his tickles continued.
"Put down the homework and I'll stop." He promised me, only picking up the speed of his hands moving.
"I will!" I squealed, making him roll off of me and pull me into his chest.
"Good. This is my favorite part of the day." He sighed contently before he tucked his nose into my hair and tightened his grasp around my waist.
I moved my fingers up to his loose curls and started stroking and combing through them gently. He let out a hum before he kissed my cheek softly.
"Is this still pretending to you?" He asked me softly as he let his eyes fall shut. I let out a giggle before my finger reached up and traced over the freckles that lined his nose. He crinkled his face while his eyes remained shut.
"I guess not." I whispered, watching as his adorable smile pulled up at his lips.
"Nott, you can't fucking avoid me forever." A voice boomed outside the door, followed by profuse pounding in the wood.
"Don't tell me that's who I think it is." I sighed, rolling onto my back and glancing at the door. Theodore let out a long sigh before he kissed the back of my head.
"It is." He grumbled, standing from his bed and stalking towards the wooden door. "What?" He asked out of annoyance, swinging the door open and revealing an equally annoyed Malfoy.
"You've been avoiding me." Draco told him flatly.
Something changed in Theo since we last encountered Draco a few weeks ago. Something I don't think I'd ever understand. He was intimidated. Scared.
"No, um- I was actually- well, I was gonna come find you." Theo scratched the back of his neck while he cleared his throat. His words were coming out in stutters, showing off just how nervous he was.
"Let me make this clear for you," Draco said lowly, pointing his wand at the boy and forcing his way in. "You'll be in even bigger trouble if you continue avoiding— what are you doing in here?" He dropped his wand from Theo's chest as he eyed me laying across Theo's bed.
"Hanging out..." I answered slowly, not sure what other answer there was to give. Draco's eyes moved back to Theo while his tongue rolled across the inside of his cheek.
Fuck. I hate it when he does that. And not for bad reasons.
"Is this why you've been avoiding me?" Draco asked him shortly, pointing his wand towards me on the bed. Theo dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head. "Worried I'll beat you up for trying to hook up with my sloppy seconds?" Draco chuckled, attempting to talk down on Theo.
"There's no trying." Theo finally spoke up. "I already did." He said confidently. My eyes widened as soon as the words slipped from his lips. Draco looked over at me slowly and gave me a daring glare. I gave him pleading eyes before he moved on from the topic.
Shocker.
"Well, everyone else has seen me about... our future plans. I think it's about time you and I have our much needed chit chat." Draco told him calmly, but his voice carried so much power that Theo bowed down to.
"My sweet Emmy," Draco said sarcastically as he turned towards me, making Theo ball up his fists. Draco's eyes dropped to Theo's hands before he let out an amused chuckle.
"What's wrong, Nott?" Draco laughed a little more as he took a step towards me. I sat up on the edge of the bed and furrowed my brows together as I kept my eyes on him. "Can I not talk to my Emmy? Just because you've touched her, don't think for a second that it would matter to her." He played into it, his smirk growing more by the second. "I think you know how she feels deep down. Even if neither of you will ever admit it." Draco teased him as he inched his way closer to me.
"She's mine now. Not yours. So, no. You can't talk to her." Theo protested, trying to stand his ground. Draco laughed once before he crouched down in front of me, leveling our faces.
"Get out now." He said sternly. "You and I will chat later." Draco warned me, his voice sending chills up and down my arms as I looked into his eyes.
"Emelia, don't listen to him, just stay." Theo tried fighting him, but Draco held up a hand towards Theo to shut him up while his eyes remained on me.
"Get out, Emmy. I'll come get you later." Draco's voice fluttered into my ears and made my heart swell instantly as he placed his hand on my knee gently.
As much as I wished I could stand up to him for Theo's sake, my brain just couldn't. I nodded my head slowly as I held eye contact with him, making his smile grow even more.
"See, Nott. No point in avoiding me forever," Draco sighed as he stood up straight. "You have nothing to lose against me. You'll be ranked under me. You'll ask out Emelia and she'll always love me more. Just accept your defeats now." Draco snickered, but I avoided both of their gaze while I sped walked to the door and exited the room.
•
I laid on my bed and thought about what Draco had told Theodore. I'd never be able to argue with it. I had even said so myself.
I'll find a million different boys, and I will never love anyone the way I love Draco.
There was a knock on our door before it pushed itself open. My eyes glanced over at it quickly before they moved back to the creatures in the lake outside of my window.
"You were right." I mumbled, pulling my blankets up over my shoulders a little further. "I'll never love anyone the same way I love you." I sighed, looking over at him as he walked into my room.
He had already changed out of his robes, his sweats loosely hanging on his body. His hair was a mess, thrown across his forehead lazily.
"Love or loved?" He teased, tilting his head to the side. I didn't answer, letting the silence swallow both of us.
"But there will be other people out there. And I'll love them in a different way." I said honestly, not taking my eyes off of him. "So don't pull that shit on Theo. Acting like I don't like him or want to be with him. Because I do." I assured Draco. His smirk was subtle, but it was still there.
"But you'd rather be with me. Even after all my shit." Draco said knowingly. I let out a long sigh and didn't answer once again, letting Draco know everything he wanted to.
"Are you still a virgin?" He blurred out from nowhere. I knew we'd have to have some sort of conversation eventually, especially after what Theo had said.
It shouldn't have been Draco's business, but with the threats he threw around for fun, I worried what would happen if I tried to play with him and lie. So I nodded my head, and even though it should've felt embarrassing, it didn't.
"Good." He said shortly, placing his hands in his pockets. Neither of us said a word after that. Just sat in the other's company before he spoke up once again.
"Don't let him use you as his excuse to avoid his work again. It's about time he stepped up. The rest of us are tired of picking up his slack." Draco said harshly, before he was about to turn and exit the room.
"What work?" I asked him softly, sitting up off of my bed. He glanced over his shoulder and knitted his brows together.
"Um," he paused for a moment. I knew him too well. More lies were coming.
"Please stop lying to me." I whispered, making Draco turn to face me. "I just told you the truth about me and Theo." I sighed. He stared at me for a moment, contemplating with himself.
"I can't tell you everything right now. But I will one day." He said flatly, slowly stepping towards my bed.
I scooted over and patted the spot next to me, waiting for him to sit down with me. He held his same boring, flat face before he sat down next to me. I looked at him timidly before I leaned my head onto his shoulder.
His body stiffened as he glanced over at me, but I didn't budge. I was too tired. He sat on top of the blankets while I sat under it, making myself comfortable against him.
"I'm so tired, sorry." I mumbled, letting my eyes shut softly.
"Where is everyone?" He asked, his eyes looking around at the other girl's beds. "Why are you just sitting in here alone?" I opened my eyes and looked around the empty room as well.
"They like to run around to other common rooms. Or hang out with Pans and Daphne— y'know. Your girlfriend. And-"
"Stop." Draco said softly, wrapping his arm over my shoulder. "I hate when you talk like that." He sighed. I scoffed once while I rolled my eyes.
"What? Like you ripped my heart out and crumpled it in the palm of your hand?" I asked him honestly. "Because it's true. Quit acting like you care one minute, don't care the next. I saw how you kissed Daphne a few weeks ago. You're going to pick her one day. And if it isn't her, it'll be another perfect girl. But it will never be me. So I'm not sorry if I try finding someone else." He leaned his chin into the top of my head and shushed me into my hair.
"I'm only telling you this because your dad's involved anyway." He mumbled into my hair. I twisted onto my side and laid on his shoulder, waiting for him to continue. "We're all expected to work with our father's. The boy's are. And we're getting to an age where it's time for us to step up and—" he froze for a second. "And get the mark." He admitted. My eyes widened and I leaned up off of his body.
"So. You and Theo. And the other boys. You all have the mark?" I whispered, twisting to look at him, my chest moving up and down rapidly as I felt my anxieties rise.
"No." He shook his head. I let out a slight sigh of relief. "We're all supposed to turn 16 first." He informed me, his voice still flat and unbothered.
"So. That's what you want? Is that why you broke up with me?" I mumbled, twisting my rings on my fingers as I asked.
"That's a story for another time." He told me, getting up from the bed and walking towards my door. "Just please. Don't start going out with Nott. You could do so much better and should stay away from this. From any of us." He told me, holding the handle in his hand.
"Yeah." I nodded my head sarcastically. "That's what everyone said about you, too." I looked at him with a straight face.
"Who's the one lying now, sweetheart?" He snickered, leaving my room and shutting the door behind him.
•
Days rolled by and neither Theo or I mentioned a word about what Draco had talked to either of us about. I couldn't help but feel anxious with the new information I possessed, but I felt like deep down I knew this was coming all along.
"I have a question for you," Theo blurted our as we leaned against a tree and stared out at the Black Lake. The ice and snow was melted, the grass was turning green again.
And despite the beauty of the outside world, I still felt frozen on the inside knowing the truths of what was to come.
"Okay," I sighed, keeping my gaze on the water.
"There's another ball coming up. The Malfoy's are hosting again." He said casually, finally gaining my attention now.
His curls flowed freely in the wind, making me smile weakly as I watched his concentrated face watch the waves lap against the small beach.
"I wanted to know if you would attend with me this time." He sighed, turning to look at me as well. Blush flooded my cheeks as a warm smile started to form on his pink lips.
"I'd like that." I told him softly, feeling butterflies swarm in my stomach at the thought of him wanting to show me off in public.
"There's a catch." He chuckled, reaching down and lacing our fingers together in the grass. He kept his eyes down and looked at out hands. "I want you to go as my girlfriend." He pushed out, and I could tell how nervous the topic made him. My smile grew just a little bigger.
"Pretend or real?" I questioned, making his lips curl up into a smile, too.
"Real." He whispered, still avoiding my eyes.
My brain flowed back to what Draco had told me days ago. I hesitated for a moment as I thought on it some more. I knew the entire situation revolving all of the boys would result in nothing but trouble.
However,
I was meant to be with one of them. My mother already explained that. Whether that's what Draco wanted or not. Plus, Theodore made me happy. He was sweet and handsome. If I really had to pick from my options, he'd be one of my top picks from the lot. But I knew that the decision wasn't up to me anyway. It was the boy's decision and I would be stuck.
And I couldn't have the one I would've chosen anyway. He made that clear to me. Theodore was the next best thing. He'd treat me right. He'd put me first. He'd protect me. Everything I deserved. And he wants me.
I knew I'd never be as happy as I felt when I was with Draco, but what other choice did I have? I had to work with what I was given. I had to find someone else and move on.
"I'd love to be your girlfriend." I finally whispered, making his freckled cheeks blush wildly. I giggled at his reaction before he quickly wrapped his arms around my neck and held me securely.
"You don't even understand how happy I am right now." He chuckled, placing his lips on the side of my head.
"Me, too." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him as well. And I meant it.