Colton:
I feel fucking sick. This is exactly what happens every time I decide to try to sleep with someone. I fucking hate it. The sex, the touching, all of it. I don't like touching people and I fucking hate it when they touch me. But every once in a while my dick gets a little too desperate for my damn hand to satify.
Drying my hands with a paper towel, I stare at my reflection in the mirror and feel fucking disgusted with myself. I shouldn't have fucking done that when I knew that this is exactly how I feel right after. I should've never even tried, because nothing is fucking worth feeling like this.
My ears catch the sound of the toilet flushing behind me, and I throw the paper towel away before heading to the door. I can't fucking deal with this shit right now. Grabbing the handle, I pull the door open and step outside, only to slam into a petite figure that stumbles a few feet away at the sudden impact. The feeling of wanting to claw at my own skin intensifies for a mere second before my eyes catch the sight before me, and the breath gets knocked out of my damn lungs.
Fucking hell.
My eyes are glued to her as she regains her balance, and I know that she is by far the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. So fucking beautiful.
"Ouch." Raising a delicate hand, she rubs forehead with a small frown before she looks up at me. Time stands still as I stare into her big wide eyes. I never knew someone's eyes could ever be so fucking enchanting. I could stare at them for the rest of my goddamn life. Not green, not blue, but right in between, with long graceful eyelashes that has me fucking drooling.
Taking a deep breath, she releases it in a sigh. "Wow."
Smooth, flaming locks of auburn hair fall down her shoulders and almost to her elbows in thick soft waves. My hand twitches at my side in a command to touch them, and I frown as my heart skips a beat. Raising my hand, I rub at the sudden ache inside my chest.
What the fuck is happening to me?
Her eyes widen even more when she catches my movement. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't see you because I wasn't looking. I apologize."
Fucking hell, she can put me to fucking sleep with that warm, soft voice of hers.
"You have the most beautiful eyes ever." She suddenly declares, and I frown again, biting my tongue to stop from telling her that her eyes are better. I don't say shit like that. I don't.
"I'm Lillian Grant, but everyone calls me Anne." She gives me a smile that has me gasping for damn air as she stretches her small hand for me to shake. My hand twitches at my side again, and I clench my jaw in anger because I want to fucking shake hers.
What the hell is going on?
"Are you mad because I bumped into you? I'm really sorry." Her voice is dripped in honey as she asks, and I narrow my eyes at her, wondering if she is actually serious. I'm the one who walked out of the women's fucking bathroom, and she's the one apologizing.
"What's your name? Do you want to be friends?" She speaks carefully, as if she is worried I might somehow snap at her, and that pisses me off. I stay silent, honestly debating becoming her friend for a second, and when she nervously fiddles with the hem of her purple dress like the sweetest fucking thing on earth I know my answer.
Fucking no, I don't want to be her friend. She's already messing with my damn head, and I've met her a minute ago.
Clearing her throat, she quickly adds, "I could introduce you to my other friends. I just met them but they all seem nice. They'll welcome you."
So she is walking around the place, making everyone her friend? Why the hell does that bother me so much?
"Stop talking." I command because I need her to.
"Sorry." She mumbles a little sadly, and I feel like a dick. Yet she still asks, "So, do you? Want to be my friend, I mean."
"No." I clench my jaw again as I bite the word out even when it feels like a lie. Her face falls for a second before she shrugs it off.
"That's alright, I guess." She states. "I'm sorry again for walking into you. I thought this was the girl's restroom."
I stare at her some more, wondering whether I should tell her that it is the ladies' room that I just walked out of, or just walk the fuck away and let her figure that out on her own.
"Have a good day." She turns to head towards the men's room instead, and I don't know what the fuck comes over me, but before I could think this through, I carefully grab her arm before she reaches the doorknob. My chest heaves as I feel her skin against mine, and for the first time in fucking forever, I'm not repulsed by another person's touch. Her skin is so fucking soft, and it feels like it can soothe my worst aches away. Something is not fucking right with me.
Looking at me, she cranes her neck up to catch my eyes with a question in her big teal ones, and I notice for the first time how short she actually is. She must be around five foot two or three since the top of her head doesn't even reach my shoulders. I could carry her in my damn pocket.
The door ahead opens to reveal a guy walking out and fixing his belt, effectively answering the question she was about to ask me. Hurriedly, she takes a step back, bumping into my chest again. The lavender scent that is radiating off of her reaches my nose, and I inhale that shit like a drowning man. A part of me wants to keep her fucking tucked against me, and it freaks me the hell out.
Keep it fucking together, Colt!
She turns around and faces me again, keeping her head down, but I still notice the delicious blush covering her cheeks, and it gets my blood boiling.
"Thank you for that." She speaks so fucking softly, and I feel like kissing the fuck out of her.
Clenching my jaw one more time at my fucked up head, I silently walk away, hoping I never see her again, despite the ache that shoots straight to my damn heart at the mere thought. It's for the fucking best. I don't need this kind of shit in my life. She confuses the fuck out of me, this Lillian Grant. And it ought to stop.
"What's up, man." Steve speaks once I reach their booth. "What took you so long?"
Giving Alice a silent nod, I grab a chair from a nearby table and sit on it between the two couches. There's no way in fuck I'm sitting next to Gabe and Leo cramped up like that. Like I said, I don't fucking like it when someone makes physical contact with me. It brings back the worst of memories. Whenever I decide to have sex, I make sure I'm bat shit drunk before I attempt to touch anyone. This way, I'd be too unfocused for the memories to reform. I've never had sex sober before, and today is the first time I try touching someone without alcohol in my system. Makes me feel like fucking shit, I realize.
"Always the brooding one, aren't you?" Gabe comments at my silence, and I send him a deadly glare for him to see that I'm not in the fucking mood for tolerating his childish behavior. He raises his hands in surrender.
"Damn, dude." Dave chuckles nervously. "You good?"
I sigh. Dave is my best friend. He's the only one who knows all the shit I've been through. We met four years ago when I was a senior in a public highschool. My school's football team played against his, and he got into a fight that almost had him cut off the team. I broke that fight and set the asshole who spoke shit about Dave's sister straight, even though I had never met her. He appreciated that. The next night, I found him in front of the auto repair shop I used to work and sleep at, with dinner and two sodas because he was still seventeen and wasn't allowed to drink.
I was fucking starving and had barely enough money for bread, so I inhaled that food like it was my last. He didn't comment once, not even when he knew I lived there, and just kept talking about football. I gave him some tips and then he suggested that I should apply for a football scholarship. My life had been so fucked up at that time that that option never even crossed my mind. He helped me do what was necessary, and I applied at three schools. I got accepted to a full ride at all of them. But I chose this one because I knew it was the one he planned to join a year later. And he did.
Not only that, but he has helped me with so many fucking things in my life that I could never repay him for. He's my fucking brother, and I'd die for him in a heartbeat. So I nod my head at him. "I'm fine."
"My roommate just arrived this morning, Colton!" Alice's excitement could be spotted from a mile away as she speaks. "She's the cutest thing ever. I love her."
I give her a half-assed smile with a nod, knowing well enough that she won't be upset that I don't copy her enthusiasm. She doesn't know much about me, but she's known me long enough to know how I am. Dave has also given her some bits and pieces of my past so she'd get the memo and leave me alone.
"There she is!" She points somewhere that I don't bother to look at.
The lavender scent that reaches me has me stiffening in my seat. Snapping my head to the side, I watch as Lillian beams at me. "I see you've met my friends."
"Told ya, dude." Gabe whispers to Leo, who elbows him in the side.
"Have you met before?" Dave asks, but I don't pay him any attention because I can't fucking stop staring at her.
Goddammit, why is she so beautiful?
"I was going to walk straight into the boy's room when he saved me from that embarrassment." She states with a smile on her face that has my knees fucking weak as she takes a seat next to Gabe. All of a sudden I fucking regret not sitting there and letting her take this chair instead. Gabe is a fucking pig. He's a good friend, sure, but a pig when it comes to women. And if he even thinks about lusting after Lillian I'll fuck his face up faster than he can say sorry.
Hold the fuck on. Why the hell do I care?
"That's... awfully nice of you." Alice comments, her eyes looking at me with suspicion, and I send her a careless shrug. She's right, because normally I wouldn't give a fuck. But something in me had me going against my own rules for Lily.
******
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Next chapter will be in both POVs!