Derek usually loved when his best friend rambled. It tended to make him laugh, and it was almost too easy these days to actually understand her. Originally, he hadn't been sure he would ever understand her, but now he mostly did. Understanding led to enjoying the rambles. Except for right now. He wasn't enjoying Meredith's ramble about what he had to know about her father, how to survive tonight. He got why she was rambling. Meredith rambled when she was freaking out about something, and he figured bringing him home, whatever it was they were to each other right not, was reason enough to be freaking out but rambling never actually helped Meredith. It just gave her brain more than ample opportunity to wander into different places that it didn't have to be.
"Everyone says we're exactly alike," she groaned, her hand gripping his with vice-like strength. "But we're not. He's...he's a mess. He's a mess and he stammers and he's just...I mean, he stammers when Susan makes him stammer because it's not like he ever wants to actually talk to me. He looks at me and sees my mom and...I'm nothing like him, Derek. I would never...if I ever have kids, which I probably won't but if I do, I'll never leave them."
"I know you wouldn't," he nodded firmly.
"But I probably won't ever have them because...why would I have kids? Why? I mean, it's not like I'd be a good mom since I'm cursed with like...the worst parents ever. Except Thatcher is a good dad. He's a good dad to Lex and Molly because they're...better or something. They're better than me and I wasn't worth it so he's...anyway, he's like...two different people and I'm nothing like either of those people."
"Okay," he nodded and then smiled slightly. "You'd be a great mother."
"No, I wouldn't. I definitely wouldn't be a great mom. Why would I even have kids, Derek? Having kids would be...that's not the point. Kids is not the point of this conversation is not about me having kids because it's not like I'll ever have them anyway. You...I don't have anybody to have kids with and...Thatcher would be the worst grandfather ever. Except he isn't. He's actually funny."
"He's funny?" Derek asked, deciding to keep away from the very complicated conversation of children for the time being.
"With Laura. And Molly. And Lexie. Definitely not with me. He...not funny."
"Well...it's probably pretty awkward for both of you," Derek said carefully.
"Well, if it's so awkward, he could just tell Susan to uninvite me. That's all he has to do because I don't...I love Lexie and Molly and Laura...they're...they're amazing and they're a great fake family but I don't have to go anymore. I don't even like going so...you don't have to be nice or anything, Derek. I don't know what Mark has said but...you don't have to be nice. You don't have to be all...Dereky."
"Dereky?" he laughed softly.
"You know...you. Charming and funny and with the look and...you don't have to be that guy."
"Okay," he nodded slowly, and then smirked. "But I am charming and funny."
"Derek," she groaned, rolling her eyes.
"I am," he laughed.
"That's the point."
"What's the point?" he asked, grabbing for her hand.
"You're funny and charming and amazing and...you're going to act like that and they're going to think...they don't have to be in my life, Derek. They don't...they'll ask questions."
"Mer, it's okay if they ask questions," he sighed
"About us?"
"Well..." he breathed. "You're my best friend."
"And we're going on a date."
"That is a detail they don't need to know."
"And I spent the night at your trailer the last three nights in a row..shirtless."
"Okay, that's not something they ever need to know."
"And you did...dirty things with your tongue last night."
"Mer, even when...if we're together as a couple, you don't tell parents that stuff. Ever."
"I know," she giggled breathlessly.
"Right now, we're in the middle of things so we go with the simplest answer. That's always what you go with when it comes to parents. Best friends."
"They're not my parents."
"Fine, your fake parents."
"Thank you," she breathed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Turn there. It's that house."
"Okay," he nodded. "Mer, it will be fine."
"I know."
"Lie."
"What?" she frowned, turning quickly to him, her face scrunched.
"You don't know. You're freaking out."
"I'm not freaking out. And we agreed you wouldn't be Dereky."
"I think being Dereky just happens."
"Well, make sure it doesn't," she rolled her eyes.
"Fine," he sighed, squeezing her hand.
"Come on," she groaned.
"You'd kill me if I kissed you, right?"
"What?"
"I want to kiss you to calm you down but...can I kiss you?"
"Oh...yeah," she breathed.
"Good," he smiled, leaning forward to kiss her softly.
"Thank you," she whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.
"Nothing to thank me for," he murmured.
"You didn't have to come."
"I know."
"And they're going to ask about my mom..." she whispered. "I...don't tell them the truth. Please?"
"Whatever you want," he nodded.
"Just...don't. I don't want them to do the pity thing."
"I get that."
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You're welcome."
"Come on, let's do this," she groaned.
"Coming," he nodded, climbing out of the car.
"And if you want to leave, just...I mean, Mark will be here so..."
"I am not leaving."
"I know," she breathed, squeezing his hand tightly.
"Good," he smiled. "Do you knock?"
"I...yeah."
"Okay," he nodded, squeezing her hand, leaning forward to knock on the door for her.
"Meredith," a friendly looking older woman laughed as the door swung open, "how many times have I told you to just come in?"
"I...." Meredith breathed. "Sorry, Susan."
"Come in," Susan smiled as she hugged her. "How are you? Your hair looks so beautiful, but then it always does."
"Thanks," Meredith murmured. "I'm...I'm good. How have you been?"
"The same. Being a lion over my girls."
"Oh," Meredith giggled nervously.
"You should see Laura. She's keeping us all running."
"That's....that's good," Meredith nodded. "I'm...Molly must love it."
"Dooh!" a little toddler came running towards the door.
"Hey Laura," Meredith smiled widely.
"Mewdiff!" Laura giggled, raising her arms up. "Laura uppie!"
"How are you?" Meredith asked, lifting the little girl into her arms.
"Goo," the toddler smiled widely. "Mama Dada baby!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah," Laura giggled and then turned to stare at Derek. "Who dat?"
"That's my best friend Derek," Meredith grinned. "Say hi."
"Hi, Dewek," Laura waved happily.
"Hi Laura," Derek smiled widely. "You're quite cute."
"Laura know."
"Oh you do," Derek laughed.
"Dewek uppie?" Laura reached her arms out to him. "Pease?"
"Oh of course," Derek grinned. "Give me her, Mer."
"Oh, yeah, you and babies," Meredith giggled as she passed Laura to him.
"It's not my fault babies like me."
"Hi, Dewek!" Laura giggled, patting his cheeks. "Mama Dada baby!"
"Good to know," Derek nodded.
"Laura big sisser!" Laura giggled, patting his cheeks again before kicking to try to get down.
"Wait..." Meredith breathed, looking at Susan. "Moll's pregnant?"
"Three months yesterday," Susan grinned widely.
"Oh wow," Meredith smiled. "Wow."
"Laura big sisser!" Laura called as Derek put her down and she went running.
"We're not sure she knows what it means but she seems excited anyway," Susan smiled.
"She'll figure it out soon," Derek grinned, holding out his hand. "Derek Shepherd."
"Susan Grey," Susan smiled. "It's wonderful to meet you."
"It's good to meet you too," Derek smiled. "Mer's told me a lot about your family."
"I hope only good things."
"Oh," Meredith breathed. "Of course only...yeah, lots of good things."
"Great things," Derek grinned, grabbing for Meredith's hand again.
"I...are...are Lex and Mark here yet?" Meredith murmured.
"They just got here," Susan nodded.
"Good. That's...Mark is Derek's brother and...that's good."
"Unofficial brother," Derek explained quickly, squeezing Meredith's hand hard.
"Unofficial?" Susan asked.
"His family left a lot to be desired and my mom takes in strays," Derek shrugged. "I brought him home when we were little and haven't gotten ride of him since."
"And he wouldn't know what to do without me," Mark smirked as he came in, Laura in his arms. "I found a midget."
"Here I thought she was smart," Derek laughed
"Laura's a genius," Mark smiled. "Hey, Susan, Thatcher says he thinks he's about to burn down the house."
"Oh," Susan frowned. "I should go see what's the matter. Derek, make yourself at home."
"I will, thanks, Mrs. Grey," Derek grinned.
"Call me Susan."
"Of course, Susan," he laughed, squeezing Meredith's hand.
"I'll be back," Susan nodded, walking out of the room.
"Nuncle Mawk!" Laura giggled. "Laura down!"
"Good girl," Derek laughed, letting go of Meredith's hand to wrap his arm around her.
"Bye!" Laura called as she ran off.
"She's busy," Derek smiled.
"Always," Meredith sighed, curling into his side.
"Susan seems nice," he whispered.
"She...yeah," she shrugged slightly.
"Mer, she is," Derek nodded. "She likes you"
"She's like Mom," Mark grinned widely.
"She seems it," Derek smiled.
"Mark, tell my wife..." an older man, flustered and gray walked into the room, tomato sauce down his shirt. "Oh. Meredith."
"Th...Thatcher," Meredith murmured, moving quickly away from Derek.
"How....how are you?" the man asked, pain flashing through his eyes.
"I'm...I'm good," Meredith nodded. "You?"
"Good. Good."
"That's....that's good."
"I didn't...Susan asked you tonight."
"She...yeah."
"Oh."
"Mr. Grey," Derek cut in, stepping forward. "Nice to meet you. I'm Derek Shepherd, Meredith's best friend."
"Oh," Thatcher turned quickly to him. "I...Thatcher, my name is Thatcher."
"Thatcher."
"It's good to meet you," Thatcher nodded.
"Good to meet you too."
"What did you want me to tell Susan, Thatch?" Mark asked.
"Oh...ummm..." Thatcher cleared his throat. "The sauce is ready."
"Thanks, Thatch," Mark grinned. "Got some on you?"
"Yeah, bubbled over."
"It happens," Derek nodded, watching Meredith as she ducked her head down.
"It does," Thatcher nodded, looking at Derek carefully.
"Papa!" Laura shouted as she came running in, this time a short, red-haired woman following her.
"Laur, I told you to slow down," the woman groaned, looking up quickly. "Oh hey Mer and... you must be Derek."
"Derek Shepherd," Derek grinned widely. "And you must be Molly Thompson."
"I am," Molly smiled. "Nice to finally meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too," Derek nodded. "I heard congratulations are in order."
"Laura told you, didn't she?"
"She told all of us," Meredith giggled.
"Of course she did," Molly sighed, her hand going to her stomach.
"Laura big sisser!" Laura giggled from where she had her face buried in Thatcher's leg.
"We know, sweetheart," Thatcher smiled.
"Yes, you're going to be a big sister," Molly laughed. "But you can't keep telling everyone, honey."
"Tell?" Laura asked.
"Yeah, Mommy and Daddy want to tell people," Molly laughed, shaking her head.
"Kids tend to ruin surprises," Derek laughed.
"They do," Molly sighed. "Especially two year old little girls."
"She's cute though," Derek shrugged.
"Thanks."
"It's true."
"She knows, Grandpa and Grandma tell her every day."
"Laura cute!" Laura giggled.
"Yes you are," Derek laughed, reaching to tickle the toddler.
"Dewek!" Laura laughed.
"What? I thought all little girls liked to be tickled."
"De...De..."
"You're such a little cutie," Derek smiled, lifting the little girl up above his head and smiling widely at her. "Very cute, Laura."
"Cute Laura," Laura giggled, reaching for Derek's hair.
"Don't pull, Laur," Molly admonished.
"Oh I'm used to it."
"Derek has...a million nieces and nephews," Meredith giggled.
"I have fifteen," Derek laughed and then frowned, looking at Mark. "It's fifteen, right?"
"Sixteen, man," Mark nodded and then frowned. "I think."
"We are never admitting this to Mom."
"Mom probably can't even keep them straight," Mark chuckled.
"I don't know, she's a scary woman," Derek laughed.
"Lexie says she's a lot like Mom," Molly smiled. "Dad, Mom says you should change your shirt."
"Oh...of course," Thatcher nodded. "I'll go do that before supper is ready."
"Good idea, Dad," Molly smiled. "Lex says the chicken is almost done."
"Good," Thatcher nodded again.
"Papa, Laura come," Laura held out her arms and Derek held out the toddler to Meredith's dad.
"Thank you, Derek," Thatcher smiled, taking his granddaughter from him.
"You're welcome, Thatcher," Derek grinned, patting Laura's back. "I'll see you soon, Miss Laura."
"Bye Dewek!" Laura grinned.
"You're great with her," Molly smiled as she fell onto the couch, watching her father and baby go upstairs, her hand on her stomach.
"I...I've had some practice," Derek sighed.
"With the millions of nieces and nephews," Meredith said quickly.
"Yeah, with them," Derek nodded.
"Eric can't even make her laugh like that," Molly smiled. "Eric's my husband."
"Babies have always liked me," Derek shrugged.
"Just like Mer," Molly smiled widely at her sister as Susan walked in.
"Oh...yeah," Meredith nodded. "Like me."
"Supper's ready, everyone," Susan smiled widely.
"Oh great," Mark smiled. "I'm starved."
"You're always starved," Susan laughed, shaking her head.
"I'm a big boy."
"I have to say, I think it's a blessing I never had sons."
"Now you're just stuck with me and Eric," Mark grinned.
"People get stuck with Mark a lot," Derek laughed, rolling his eyes.
"You love me, Shep."
"I like to make you think that."
"That's enough," Susan laughed. "Come eat."
"Coming," Derek grinned as he grabbed Meredith's hand.
"Good," Susan smiled, glancing quickly at their hands.
"You weren't supposed to be...Dereky," Meredith breathed to him.
"I'm being Dereky?" he whispered.
"Charming and funny."
"I'm...just being me."
"Exactly. Dereky."
"But you like me."
"I do but..."
"But what?"
"Nothing," Meredith breathed as Thatcher came in with Laura, his shirt changed.
"It smells delicious, dear," Thatcher smiled at Susan.
"Yes, Lexie and I managed to save the sauce," she laughed, kissing him quickly on the cheek.
"Good," Thatcher smiled.
"Sit down everyone," Susan nodded as she and Thatcher both sat down, Thatcher settling Laura into a high chair.
"It looks wonderful, Susan," Derek smiled, pulling the chair out for Meredith.
"It is," a younger man laughed as he came in with some drinks. "Eric Thompson. You must be Meredith's friend, Derek."
"I am," Derek smiled. "Nice to meet you."
"You too," Eric grinned as he pressed a kiss to Molly's head before sitting down.
"Congratulations by the way," Derek grinned, sitting down beside Meredith.
"Thanks," Eric laughed. "Laura spill the news?"
"She might have."
"Last time I ever tell a two year old anything."
"At least she's excited," Derek shrugged.
"She is," Eric grinned, turning to his daughter. "Laur, you want a baby brother, right?"
"Bwother," Laura nodded, clapping her hands together.
"Good job."
"She's just echoing you," Molly sighed.
"Hush. She wants a brother."
"Of course."
"You two will see soon enough what you're having," Susan laughed, turning to Meredith. "Meredith, Thatcher and I were talking about your mother today, weren't we, honey?"
"Oh...yeah," Thatcher nodded.
"She's...the same," Meredith said quickly.
"The same?" Susan frowned.
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"Mer," Lexie murmured.
"Ellis is doing fine," Derek nodded, shooting Lexie a quick look. "Mer has her being taken care of well."
"We know Meredith does a wonderful job with Ellis," Susan nodded. "We just...Thatcher and I worry about her."
"I....you...you don't have to," Meredith breathed.
"We do, Meredith," Susan nodded, turning to Thatcher. "Thatcher, honey, what was it you wanted to ask Meredith?"
"I...." Thatcher frowned at Susan. "What?"
"We were talking earlier about Meredith and Ellis and you said you wanted to ask her..." Susan sighed. "About help, Thatch."
"Oh," Thatcher nodded, clearing his throat. "We were just...it's not quite a question. Just....if you need some help, you can tell us if you need anything. We would like to help you. Do you need some help?"
"No," Meredith shook her head quickly.
"Well okay, but if....if you need something, we're....here."
"Here," Meredith muttered, staring at her plate as Derek reached an arm around her.
"Here," Thatcher nodded.
"I'm fine," Meredith whispered. "Mom and I....we can do this alone. We're used to doing it alone."
"We know but..."
"I can do this alone."
"She's not doing it alone," Derek cut in. "She's got me."
"We're fine," Meredith repeated. "We're fine."
"You are," Derek whispered, rubbing her back gently.
"Okay," Susan nodded carefully.
"She's doing fine," Derek nodded.
"Of course," Thatcher nodded, falling silent.
"But thanks for caring," Derek smiled.
"She's a part of the family," Susan smiled.
"She knows," Derek nodded.
"I...no..." Meredith breathed.
"Meredith," Derek murmured.
"Sorry," she breathed, ducking her head back down.
"So Mark did this really cool surgery today," Lexie breathed. "He gave a woman her voice back it was...amazing. It was completely amazing."
"I know," Mark laughed. "I gave a woman her voice. Like God."
"Stop calling yourself God," Derek rolled his eyes.
"What? God gives people voices. I gave a woman her voice."
"Like an ENT...not God."
"ENT...God..." Mark shrugged.
"One day, God is going to get you for that," Derek sighed.
"God and I are old pals," Mark laughed.
"Of course."
"But it was amazing," Lexie grinned. "It was just...she'll be able to talk again."
"That's really cool," Meredith smiled slightly.
"Because I'm cool like God," Mark chuckled.
"Mark," Susan sighed.
"What?"
"You can't compare yourself to God."
"Yeah, that's what Mom said."
"Your mom sounds like a smart woman."
"Her only misstep was taking this one in," Derek jerked his head towards Mark as he gently rubbed Meredith's back, watching Thatcher closely.
"Ignore him, Susan," Mark laughed. "He talks big but he'd be lost if I left him."
"Dream on, Sloan."
"You moved here for me."
"I didn't move here for you," Derek snapped his head away from Thatcher.
"You just randomly chose where I was?"
"Where are you from, Derek?" Susan asked.
"I lived in New York till a little over a year ago."
"Oh, the East Coast," Susan smiled. "Meredith grew up in Boston, and our Lexie went to Harvard."
"Mom just likes dropping that into conversation," Lexie rolled her eyes.
"We're proud of you, Lexie," Thatcher smiled widely.
"I know."
"Let us be proud of you."
"I do guys," Lexie sighed. "But Derek knows where I went to school."
"I do," Derek grinned. "And I know Mer went to Dartmouth, which is a feat in and of itself. Something to be proud of."
"Of course it is," Susan smiled.
"Yeah," Meredith murmured, looking up at Thatcher for a moment and then ducking her head down.
"It is," Derek nodded, squeezing Meredith's hand.
"Hmmm...."
"It is," he repeated, fighting the urge to kiss her.
"So..." Molly took a deep breath, resting her hand on her stomach.
"Love these family dinners," Eric groaned under his breath.
"Eric," Molly's eyes widened as she looked at Meredith.
"The chicken is realy good, Susan," Derek said quickly;
"Thank you, Derek."
"You're welcome."
"Thatcher..." Susan reached for her husband's hand. "I'm sure you'd like to know about Meredith's day at work."
"Of course," Thatcher frowned. "Meredith, how was your day?"
Derek squeezed Meredith's hand and was surprised when she answered harshly, "Fine."
"Oh," Thatcher nodded. "Okay."
"Okay," Meredith murmured.
"Well then..." Susan sighed.
"Meredith's new baby had her first check up since her birth today," Derek smiled at Meredith. "A healthy, beautiful baby girl."
"That's wonderful," Susan grinned.
"Too bad you can't be Laura's pediatrician, Mer," Molly grinned. "She hates her doctor."
"Who do you take her to?"
"Dr. Kellerman," Eric groaned.
"Oh," Meredith made a face. "Well...Derek's sister is a pediatrician, she works with me but she's on mat leave right now...maybe when she's back...I can get you in touch with her."
"That would be great," Molly smiled. "Maybe for this baby too?"
"Sophie will take you on," Derek nodded.
"She's great," Meredith grinned.
"Thank you so much," Molly breathed.
"You're welcome, Moll."
"Laura will love Soph," Lexie grinned.
"She will," Meredith smiled eagerly.
"Well that's wonderful," Susan smiled. "Meredith, thank you for thinking of that."
"Oh," Meredith breathed. "You're welcome."
"Soph will love Mer for finding her more work," Derek laughed softly.
"If anyone needs more work, it's Soph," Mark chuckled. "She's getting lazy with those five kids."
"Five children?" Susan breathed.
"That's nothing," Derek laughed. "I'm one of five too."
"Except kind of six," Meredith pointed out.
"Kind of six," Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her cheek.
"I don't know what's worse," Mark frowned. "Shep not counting me or Mer counting me as a kind of."
"Poor Markie," Lexie laughed.
"I know," Mark nodded.
"Well, I'm sure none of you were lonely," Susan smiled. "That was always the concern with my girls. I wanted them to have someone always."
"Oh..." Meredith breathed.
"Mer," Derek frowned, grabbing her hand as she tried to stand.
"I think...I'm going to go," Meredith murmured.
"Meredith."
"Derek..." Meredith breathed.
"Okay," he whispered as he stood up next to her. "Okay."
"You're leaving?" Lexie frowned.
"Yeah. Yeah," Meredith nodded.
"Thanks for having me," Derek smiled at Susan.
"It was a pleasure meeting you, Derek," Susan frowned as she shook Derek's hand.
"I'm sure I'll see you again," Derek grinned.
"Come back soon, Derek," Eric nodded.
"I will," Derek nodded. "Nice to meet you, Thatcher."
"Yes...you too," Thatcher nodded. "Good night, Meredith."
"Good night, Thatcher," Meredith murmured, not meeting her father's eyes.
"Dewek go bye bye?" Laura asked.
"I am," Derek frowned at the little girl. "But Aunt Meredith and I will come really soon. And you can bring Mommy and Daddy to come visit me, I have lots of trees."
"Laura big sisser?'
"You are going to be a big sister," Derek grinned.
"Yep!" Laura nodded. "Bye bye, Dewek!"
"Bye bye Laura," Derek laughed softly. "Come on, Mer."
"Okay," Meredith breathed, grasping his hand as he led her outside.
"Are you okay?" Derek asked gently pulling her into his arms.
"I hate this," she whispered into his chest.
"Hate what?"
"This. The family thing and the dark and twisty thing and...I hate this."
"Oh Mer," he whispered, squeezing her tightly. "I know."
"Can...can we go back to the trailer?"
"Of course," he nodded, kissing her gently. "You can put on one of my shirts, climb into bed and I do believe I have some strawberry ice cream."
"Good," she breathed as she moved towards the car.
"And we'll talk," he murmured, following behind her.
"Later...later."
"Later," he agreed.
"Back to the trailer," she whispered as he opened the car door for her and let her fall into the seat.
"Back to the trailer" he grinned, kissing her quickly again.
"Derek," Meredith breathed, resting her forehead against his for a moment and then turning to the window. Derek sighed as he gripped her hand, not saying anything. Tonight had been a mess and he had seen more than enough. But he wasn't going to say anything to her, not now. He wasn't sure he completely understood what had set her off, but he did know he had to just give her time.