Chapter 4 Candy
He hurried into the infirmary at the end of the corridor and locked the door. During the lunch break, the teacher on duty in the infirmary was basically absent, and even if he treated the wound, he would not be discovered.
Staggering to the cabinet full of medicines, he took a roll of bandages and a bottle of medical alcohol. Lu Qingzhu reached out and rolled up the sleeves of his school uniform, revealing the bandages that had been soaked in blood under the cloth. The dark red blood stains gradually spread. Dripping with fingertips.
He slowly loosened the bandage that was tightly wrapped around the wrist bone, probably because it was too tightly wrapped last night. The tissue fluid that oozes from the wound after the rupture stuck the blood scab and the bandage together, and the moment it was torn off, it was a blur of blood.
Lu Qingzhu's eyelids trembled slightly, his dark and thick eyelashes fluttered up like butterflies, his eyes were dead silent like the dark night sky covered with clouds before the midsummer rainstorm, there was no fear or panic, only a fog-like daze. and burnout.
The knife wound on the wrist was torn open again as soon as a thin blood scab formed, and the slender blood stains slipped off. He struggled to unscrew the glass bottle of medical alcohol with his uninjured hand, and the pungent-smelling liquid poured over the torn wound and burned violently with a sharp pain.
Compared to the depression and suicidal tendencies that entangled him day after day, he was already used to the pain in his body, and even if he cut a knife in the same place again, his heart would feel like dead water and it wouldn't hurt.
The class bell rang quickly, and the math teacher who was over sixty years old on the podium explained boring topics as usual.
Lin Jinyang looked at the empty seat beside him, frowned slightly, and immediately walked out from the back door of the classroom facing everyone's eyes.
He's not a good student by the rules, but that doesn't mean he treats bullying others as his own pleasure.
Lu Qingzhu's appearance of getting up from the ground and fleeing in embarrassment revolved in his mind. Lin Jinyang, who was inexplicably irritable, took out a slender menthol cigarette from the cigarette case and put it in his mouth, bypassing the teaching area where he was in class and went directly to playground.
When he first arrived, he didn't know where the other party was going, but when he left the classroom and walked out, he involuntarily came to the woods outside the window of the infirmary. Although there was no basis, he subconsciously felt that Lu Qingzhu was here.
Sure enough, through the bright and clean glass window of the infirmary, he saw someone sitting on a bed for sick students, bowing their heads and slowly wrapping bandages around their wrists.
It is undeniable that Lu Qingzhu was born with a very handsome face. The delicate facial features are fair and beautiful, and the beautiful and soft eyebrows and eyes are like an elegant landscape painting.
I don't know what prompted him to stop outside the window and didn't leave. Lin Jinyang stood in a corner that would not be discovered by the people in the room, with a cloud of smoke and hazy vision.
The people in the room slowly raised their heads and quietly opened their eyes to the sky outside the window.
Those eyes seemed to be condensed with the vast and lonely fog of the whole winter, the pupils were extremely black, and the warm sunlight had not penetrated before they were completely isolated, leaving only a barren and lonely arctic ice field, as if the soul had been drained and the enthusiasm burned out. , full of red eyes. Naked desolate.
Lu Qingzhu didn't know how the person who skipped class and came to the infirmary to look for him outside the window looked at his scarred back attentively. How to stare at his dazed eyes seriously, facing the bright sunlight to see the naked and barren pain in his eyes.
The cigarette in Lin Jinyang's hand slowly burned to the end, and the hot soot burned to his fingertips, causing a heart-piercing sting.
He recalled his short and vague childhood. The woman who was covered in wounds also hid silently in a corner where no one could find it like this, licking his bloody wounds alone.
Self-sacrificing love makes people blind and humble, unwilling to admit that they are strangers to each other because of their unwillingness, and stubbornly and paranoid trying to hold on to things that no longer exist.
Whether it is a happy love or a happy family.
He coldly watched how the woman hurt and condemned herself again and again, knowing that the other party no longer loved her, but she still desperately wanted to maintain this crumbling marriage, and even put down her posture to beg the man not to abandon her.
And the most ridiculous thing is that, in the face of the breakdown of the marriage, instead of blaming the heartbreaker who cruelly abandoned the rotten wife after the prosperity, she blamed all the grievance and despair on the child, saying that it was because of his birth that she would let her The old face will make that man exhaust his love for her.
She lost her husband, and she pushed her son to the opposite of her with her own hands, screaming crazy all day long to kill him.
After that, what he hated most was women like her.
He hated the way she was wagging her tail and begging for pity in front of that man, humble and selfish, putting down all her dignity like a shrew. He hates the man who has no remorse even more. If he hadn't lied and deceived a simple woman for his own career, everything would not be what it is now.
The man soon brought back another woman, who was beautiful, gentle and good at flattery. The most popular thing for successful men is such sweet-talking dependence and admiration.
In his eyes, the so-called unswerving love is only a bargaining chip to earn profits. If it loses its due value, he will discard useless or even threatening pieces at any time, whether it is his mother or him.
That man is afraid of his existence, because he is not like a cowardly and weak mother, but more like his grandfather who has been a soldier all his life.
He was afraid of his revenge, and keeping him at home was like a thorn in his heart, making him sleepless all the time.
So he tried his best to drive him out of the house and let him come from the prosperous imperial capital to the cold and remote southern town.
Lin Jinyang silently turned and left the window.
Inadvertently seeing the misfortune and pain of others, the best thing to do is to forget everything you see.
Flaunting the so-called justice and sympathy, and self-righteously publicizing other people's scars, this behavior is nothing but self-inflicted vanity. sprinkle salt on the wound.
When Lin Jinyang returned to the classroom, the math class had just ended. He sat down in his seat with a blank face, and the girls around him came up to talk and asked him what he liked in a soft voice.
Ignoring how bad his face is now, he almost didn't write the words 'No strangers near' directly on his expressionless face.
Lin Jinyang looked at the boys in the back row of the classroom who were making trouble. He had just done such an outrageous thing to his classmates, but these people could continue to play like nothing, without even a trace of guilt or regret on their faces, as if they It was not a human being who was playing just now, but a wild dog by the roadside.
Lin Jinyang remembered those dark and out of focus eyes, the scarred young man sat beside the bed and stared blankly at the sky, such a fragile posture, as if he would sink deep into the burning sunlight and turn to ashes in the next second.
He strode over, grabbed the two people who were laughing and sparring with both hands, and pressed them on the blackboard behind the classroom.
There was a strange silence in the whole classroom, and no one knew why Lin Jinyang, who was indifferent and rebellious in their eyes, wanted to suddenly trouble these few people.
"Yang... Brother Yang?"
"Go and apologize to Lu Qingzhu." Lin Jinyang slowly let go of his hands, the height of 1.85 meters was condescending, and the two of them were so frightened that they couldn't say a word before he started, "I will only say this sentence once, in the future If you dare to bully others in my name again, you won't want to know what will happen."
When Lu Qingzhu returned to the classroom after treating the wound, the classroom, which should have been noisy between classes, suddenly fell into a strange silence.
The injury on my body is still very painful. I can't bend down when I sit on the chair, and I can only keep my back straight until school is over.
"Hey! Lu Qingzhu!"
The boys who had taken him to the woods to bully him blocked his way home, shouted at him before he turned around and ran away, then lowered their heads and reluctantly said sorry to him.
He stood there dumbfounded, subconsciously thinking that this was a new prank created by this group of people. The group of people saw him clutching the strap of the schoolbag tightly with both hands and trying to run, but they could only tell the truth.
"Brother Yang asked us not to bully you in the future."
The brain went blank for a moment.
Facing the warm sunset, I walked slowly on the way home, with lush foliage on both sides of the road.
Lu Qingzhu looked up at the clear sky above his head. At sunset, the haze in the sky was so breathtakingly beautiful that the moment it fell into his eyes made him burst into tears.
It used to be like this, and it will be like this again.
The boy he loves has a warmer soul than anyone else. Even if he is in the abyss and hopeless in this life, he is willing to reach out to him, willing to use the scorching temperature of his palm to wrap abundant rain into his dry and barren heart.
[Lin Jinyang, do you know that all my expectations for this world come from the warmth of your palm]
[I am both longing and afraid, I want to be closer to you, but I am also afraid that I will be greedy for the warmth you give me, I am afraid that I will become insatiable]
People who have lived in the dark for a long time are like this. If they can stop for a moment under the warm light, if they can taste the warmth of the sun falling all over their body, who would like to return to the lonely and lonely evening.
Lin Jinyang stood in the far corner, looking at the thin and pale boy with his head lowered, a gentle smile on the corners of his pale lips imperceptibly.
Like a fragrant gardenia, the flowers and leaves are lush, and the dark eyes are filled with a gentle and excessive white mist.
Although those few people promised to apologize, he was still a little worried, and convinced himself and Lu Qingzhu to just drop in, so he waited for the other party to follow behind him when they left the school.
The two of them kept a delicate distance and walked down the straight street. When passing the candy store on the corner, Lu Qingzhu habitually stopped, turned around and quietly glanced at the colorful candies in the glass cabinet, and then Turn around and leave with the bag on your back.
Lin Jinyang passed by the door of the candy store without any hesitation, half of the cigarette in his mouth was burning, and the half-burned ash fell into soft ashes.
"Ding dong--" He stretched out his hand and pushed open the door of the candy store, and the conch wind chimes were jingled by the wind pouring in from the door.
The oncoming air is filled with the unique sweet aroma of candy, warm and mellow but not too sweet.
Lin Jinyang has never been in such a place since he was a child. Whether it is the pink cartoon decoration style or the colorful candy decoration, it is incompatible with his own temperament, especially with a half-burned cigarette in his mouth. People are dressed like little gangsters who are picking up trouble on the street.
The visitor is not good.
Under the sight of the salesperson suddenly becoming alert, Lin Jinyang silently snuffed out the cigarette in his mouth, stepped forward and took out a hundred-yuan bill from his wallet.
"Please pack me some fruit candies, one pound of each flavor."
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When Lu Qingzhu returned home, the man was full of food and drink and lay unconscious on the bed.
Men never eat at home, and go home drunk every day after eating out. He put down his schoolbag and went to the kitchen to warm up the cold rice left over from the morning, and then simply scrambled a tomato scrambled egg to finish dinner.
He had no money to buy meat, and the only meaty stuff in the refrigerator was a few discounted eggs he bought from the supermarket.
Returning to the room after taking a shower at night, he turned on the light to review his homework during the day, but turned his head and found that the small bed was sparsely full of fruit candies, wrapped in translucent candy wraps, flooded with colorful candy under the warm yellow light. Broken light.
Like stars falling, shining stars on his bed.
He climbed into the bed, bent down and gathered the colorful fruit candies in his palm. He filled a handful of candies of various flavors in his palm, and they were colorful, as if he contained the gorgeous night light of the entire North Pole in the palm of his hand.
He could see this kind of candy every time he passed the candy store on the corner, and when he was a child, his mother would buy him a lot of it every time. He likes to sit by the window and count the soft clouds floating in the clear blue sky while savoring the sweet taste of the candy melting on his lips.
"Batta-" A light green candy fell into his arms from the window.
He stuck his head out and looked out of the window, no more than two or three meters away from him. The boy with unruly eyebrows was holding a half-burning menthol cigarette in his mouth. Before he could hide his hand holding the candy, he caught him straight. on.
