I silently moaned as the warm water cascaded down my body, soothing the sore muscles of my shoulder and thighs. Last night was a real workout for me and my whole body ached but more than my body, my vagina was legit screaming. I could imagine it cursing me for going at it for 5 hours without thinking of it once.
I'm sorry but Jisoo's dick is priority.
I groaned as I took a step towards the rack holding the bottles of shampoo. Every step hurt. But it was worth it. Hehehehe.
Jessica and Kyle were returning today and I was ina pretty good mood and didn't want to see their dumb faces. Fucking bitches. I stepped out of the bathroom after 15 minutes of justmentally preparing myself for the day ahead. Yes, each dayshould start with a 15 minute prep talk in the shower. I don't make the rules.
I blow dried my hair and pulled on a pair of high waisted
black jeans and a pretty lavender coloured cropped sweater.I slipped on my converse, grabbed my phone and walked out of my room. Jisoo's door was slightly ajar and I heard rustling inside. I pushed it open a little and smiled, staring at his back as he pulled on a grey tee. My eyes travelled down to his ass and I smirked. I slowly tiptoed my way to him and spanked him.
Jisoo let out a squeal.
I bursted out laughing as he turned around to look at me with wide golden brown eyes. He blushed and pushed his glasses up, avoiding my gaze. Awwww.
"Good morning, sunshine! " I smiled gleefully.
"Good morning uh.. Jen. " I frowned at his tone.
"What happened?"
He avoided my eyes and turned around to find the cloth to wipe his glasses on.
"Jisoo, I asked you someth-"
"Why did you leave last night?" He murmured.
My heart broke a little at the pure sadness behind his words.
He couldn't even meet my gaze. As if he was embarrassed to ask me that. How could I tell this guy that we shouldn't be cuddling? How could I tell him that I was scared? How could I tell him that I wasn't ready for this? How could I tell him that it broke my heart to leave him last night? How could I tell him that I love him?
"Jisoo, according to what we agreed upon, we shouldn't be doing this. All the cuddling and the mushy mushy shit we do, it needs to stop." I looked down, not wanting to look at him. My heart ached as I said all this but I couldn't continue to give him hopes. I cared about him and I didn't want to loose him. A relationship would ruin it all.
"Shit is bound to go wrong if we continue this, we decided on sex, let's keep it there. I don't want to complicate things between us."
So many shades of hurt crossed Jisoo's face and all I wanted to do was vanish from there. It hurt me to do this. But I wasn't easy to love and I didn't know how to love. The difference between mine and Jisoo's personalities would cause problems and I
"So this is just sex?" He asked next, his voice small and low.
I didn't want to talk about this right now.
"Jisoo, I-"
"l'd like a straight answer. " He said. His tone was now
chillingly calm. Like he was almost on the verge of an
outburst.
"Jisoo, listen to me. We agreed on sex. Why do y-"
"Why can't you just answer me?" He then proceeded to take several steps towards me until he was all in my face. I looked up into his angry eyes and wanted the ground to just swallow me up. "Is this just sex to you?"
Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, "Yes. Just sex.
It was like something shattered in him. Jisoo's eyes were so easy to read. They spoke to you. They told you what he was feeling. As much as he tried to conceal his emotions at times, if you looked deeply, you could tell. Right now, I was wishing he didn't have that quality.
I didn't want to read his eyes. I didn't want to see the pain so I looked away.
He took a step, giving me space to breathe.
"I'm sorry. " I mumbled.
"Just shut up." I heard him say. I kept my gaze locked to the floor. My stomach dropped as he turned around to retrieve something from the closet.
Jisoo, I love you. I blinked the tears away, still not looking up. He passed me and made his way to the door. I stayed in my position, needing some time to digest whatever just happened.
"I'm sorry" He said. I turned around and saw him. His hand was on the doorknob and he was now wearing a jumper over his tee. I frowned at the apology.
"Why are you saying sorry?"
He forced a small smile. I wanted to hug him and hold him close until I made him smile a real one. Guilt started eating me from the inside.
"For keeping expectations."
_______________________
"Good morning, darling!" Julia's cheerful self greeted me
as I walked into the kitchen. Her back was to me but I think she heard me enter. She was cleaning the counter. She then spared me a glance over her shoulder with a bright smile on her face but it immediately dropped as she laid eyes on me.
"Oh, honey, what's wrong? You look so down."
Get your shit together, Jennie Kim.
I quickly placed a smile on my face and shook my head
"Nothings wrong, Ju. Good morning. What's for breakfast? I'm So hungry. "
She eyed me, her manner a clear indication that she didn't buy my Oscar-award-winning acting. Nevertheless, she smiled softly.
"I've laid the table. Go and check it out. There's a surprise for you."
I grinned at her even though, deep inside, I just wanted to go back to room and be alone. Julia had always hated me skipping my meals though so lI didn't want to get her upset.
Already upset one person today.
I turned on my heels to go to the dining table but then I
turned around to ask something, "Uh, Ju... Where's Jisoo? Did he come downstairs?
"He had a quick bite and then left. He said he wanted to go for a walk. He seemed upset. Are you both okay?"
Jennie, you selfish bitch. You hurt him.
" Yeah, don't worry. We're cool. Uh...When is Jessica returning?
"They'll be here for lunch, darling."
"Okay. I'll go eat breakfast. Did you eat?"
"Yes. Early morning.
"Right. See you.
I walked to the table in the next room and was immediately greeted with the smell of fresh pancakes. Pancakes with nutella and strawberries. My stomach growled. This had always been my favorite and Ju used to make the same pancakes for me almost every morning when she worked for us years ago.
"Thank you, Julia!" l yelled as l immediately took my seat and dove in. I tried to distract myself from what was actually going on between Jisoo and I but nothing worked. He would always end up on my mind some way or the other and the guilt would quickly eat me.
After 15 minutes of eating my breakfast alone, I decided to take a tour of the property. Yet to see what Jessica acquired after her marriage to Kyle.
I found myself in the backyard and myy eyes widened at the huge round pool. The water was blue and clean. Bamboo lounge chair lined up on one side. A huge fire pit was situated nearby, surrounded my another set of bamboo chairs. It all looked to be some sort of tropical paradise. My body yearned to go for a swim but the air was chilly and I'm sure the water was freezing too.
I'm sorry for having expectations.
I groaned to myself as I was reminded of Jisoo again. See? Nothing worked. I could be fucking paragliding right now and luca would still invade my thoughts.
I walked towards one of the lounge chairs and took a seat, pulling out my box of cigarettes. I needed this.
I lit up one and inhaled the smoke. How was it going to be between us now? Were we not going to acknowledge each other at all? I mean, we're adults. We should talk about it. But what the hell could I say? Should we put an end to the sex? I don't see how we could go back to having sex after the bomb id just dropped on him. I knew feelings were getting involved. That too, on a rapid pace. Jisoo might be a sex God but he's the kind to love. He wants a girlfriend. He wants to find comfort in someone. What was I thinking? He's not the find to have a no strings attached. I could provide comfort for him. I could be a friend but in no way was I ready to be in a relationship. Sure, I loved him but I couldn't imagine changing my ways which means I wasn't ready.
I didn't want to hurt him.
"Hey. Didn't see you there. "I looked up, taking a puff of my cigarette. Sam stood there. He still wasn't wearing any shirt and his hands were deep in the pockets of his jeans.
"If you didn't see me, why are you talking to me?" I muttered, not wanting to immerse myself in a conversation at the moment.
His smile dropped but nevertheless, he took a seat in the
lounge chair next to me. FUCK my life.
"I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I didn't know that you and Jisoo were A thing.
I frowned and looked at him, confusion etched in my face.
"Who told you that?
He suddenly smirked and I saw his fuckboy side peaking
again.
"See that window there?" He asked, smirked still intact. I
followed his finger and saw that he was pointing at a window on the first floor.
"I slept in the pool house last night because the chlorinator needed to be worked on. I was on my way to grab the tools from the garage. l crossed that window. I heard you scream.
I turned beet red. Redder than a fucking tomato.
Sam laughed at my face and shook his head, "It's alright.
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear anything."
I knew I was too loud yesterday.
"I thought the house was empty."
He laughed once again and replied, "The house was. The
backyard wasn't. "
Still blushing profusely, I stomped on the cigarette and got up from my chair.
Wanting to change the topic, I exclaimed "How's the water?"
"It's warm. Perfect for a dip right now. Want to join me? "
No, I don't want to join you. I want to go for a swim with Jisoo.
"No. Not up for a swim right now.
His face fell but he nodded nonetheless. Not waiting for
another minute, I walked of. I knew he wanted more. I knew he wanted to sleep with me. But I couldn't do it. Not anymore.
Something in me stopped me from even looking at other
guys.
I entered the house once again and made my way to my
room. Just as I was climbing the stairs, the main door opened and Jisoo emerged. My heart skipped a beat as I stared at him.
He saw me standing on the stairs and gave me a tight smile which had fake written all over it.
He then proceeded to make his way upstairs, taking two steps at a time.
I followed him.
"Did you go for a walk? " I asked, wanting the awkwardness to vanish.
"Yes
"How did you like the neighborhood?"
"Wonderful."
"Meet anyone? "
"No."
"You want to go anywhere today? "
"Not really."
"Did you like breakfast?
"Delicious."
My eye twitched.
"Can you stop being an asshole, I'm trying to make
conversation." I snapped, infuriated. You don't have the right to be angry right now.
"Do us both a favour and don't try." He snapped right back, with a scowl.
"You want the rest of our days here to go like this? Can't
we just talk normally? " I asked, almost begging him go
understand.
"I'm sorry if I'm a little down right now and want some fucking privacy. " He said, through clenched teeth.
"Why are you-"
"BECAUSE I'M FUCKING HURT, JEN!" He suddenly yelled.
He then took a step back from me, a series of emotions flashing across his face. "You h-hurt me o-okay?" His voice wavered and he refused to meet my gaze. There it was. The sweet, gentle, innocent side of him. My heart ached. I wanted to hug him.
"Jisoo, I"
"No. Save it. I'll t-talk to you -later. " Then without sparing me another glance, he turned towards his room.
I was left alone in the passageway. I couldn't hold it in
anymore. I let the tears spill.
____________________
All credits goes to the owner ✨