DRACO'S POV
The second the words came out I regretted it. I took it too far, I always do. For some odd reason it pained me as I watched the tears bubble up in her eyes before falling down her cheeks that were reddened with anger.I had hurt her again. She would go right back to hating me.
I didn't care that all her stupid Gryffindor friends were screaming at me along with Blaise or Pansy. I didn't care as I watched Cedric make his way over. I didn't care about the sting from the slap Pansy gave me. I couldn't care because she hated me while I could never hate her.
***
For the first week she didn't leave her dorm. I watched as Pansy helped to sneak Neville up to their dorm to comfort her. I should have been the one doing it. I should have been the one comforting her but no I was the one she was hiding from. Because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Because I always took it too far.
As selfish as it sounded I was hurting just as much as her. I missed her smile. How she wore it all day no matter what happened.The way her cheeks would turn red when she cracked the cheesiest jokes. The way her laugh boomed throughout the common room as she held her sides when she laughed too hard. The way she would gush about how her father bought her a new bottle of her favorite flower scented perfume. Or about the big oak tree in her back yard. The way she would ramble on trying to explain something so simple. I missed how she always seemed to be happy. But I took that, all of it. I deserved to be in pain and I knew it.
She eventually had to come down though. It seemed her father had finally realized she was serious about not wanting to sit near me anymore. He had switched her seat sitting with the Gryffindors next to that mud blood Granger.
When she finally came back to class she wore her usual smile but her eyes were empty behind it. As if her mind was somewhere else. As she made her way to her seat her eyes met mine and he smile instantly turned into a scowl and she looked away.
As much as it hurt i deserved it.
The entire rest of the class she made it her point to avoid eye contact with me.
Seemed Granger loved it though, her face lit up the second her eyes fell on Y/n. I mean I'd rather pitch myself off of the astronomy tower then pay any attention to Granger but there was something about the look she gave Y/n. The way her eyes seemed to be captivated by every little thing she did. Something about the look seemed familiar. Then it dawned on me. I gave her the same look.
Did that mean.....
"Mr.Malfoy does something on the Gryffindor's side seem to be distracting you?"Snape asked snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Oh,ummm....No sir."I stumbled on my words.
I heard a few laughs from around the room.
"Well then maybe you'd like to keep your eyes to yourself hmm? I don't know why you find my dau..."
"I've got it sir."I said cutting him off."I've got it."
I could feel eyes on me and I looked around to see Y/n's e/c eyes on me. She didn't break eye contact for a bit she just seemed to be concentrating on something. A few seconds later I heard her voice in my head say,"Stop looking at me you twat.".With that she rolled her eyes at me and looked away.
Holy hell! How the hell did she do that?
I looked down at my paper and tried to focus on what her father was saying.
I quickly got used to that absent look in her eye. It was there as she ate her breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was there as when Diggory put his name in the goblet of fire. It was there when his name was picked. Even as she cheered for him and kissed him after he was picked. She seemed to be distracted and absent. It seemed selfish that I thought it was because of me. But it probably was.
I was going to apologize whether she wanted to hear it or not. Which she clearly didn't, seeing how every time I was near her she'd tell me to piss off in my head. Even if she didn't want me around anymore I didn't want her to not be happy. I was unhappy without her but she shouldn't have to be unhappy with me. I waited till she was walking by herself and I pulled her into the janitor's closet.
END OF DRACO'S POV
Y/N'S POV
That damned Malfoy he didn't seem to realize I didn't want him near me. As I made my way down the hall toward the Astronomy tower I was seething.
That twat can't keep his eyes to himself. As if I didn't have enough on my mind right now. My boyfriend is about to get himself killed for a tournament and my dreams are getting worse along with me getting another gift. I groaned and sulked my way to the end of the hall. Suddenly I was pulled by my arm into a dark room.
"What the hell?!"I shouted.
"Shh!"The person shouted at me covering my mouth."God nobody's trying to hurt you."
I registered the voice as Draco.
What the hell did he want?
I reacted instantly and bit his hand.
"Fuck Y/n! Really?"He screamed but I wasted no time trying to open the door.It wouldn't budge though.
"You're wasting your time, I already put a spell on it. It won't open unless I open it."
I groaned and muttered"Lumos." causing the tip of my wand to light up. I looked around and realized we were in Finch's closet. Boy was he gonna be mad. As I looked around I spotted a light. I pulled the string and it instantly lit up the small closet.
"Nox."I muttered and the light on my wand turned off."What do you want Malfoy?"I asked hoping he could hear the anger in my voice.
"Could you not say my name like that?"
"No, I'll say it as I please."I crossed my arm realizing how little space there was in this closet.
"Look Y/n I'm tr.."
"It's Snape to you."I said cutting him off.
He rolled his eyes but continued on."Fine,Snape, I'm trying to say I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear it but you're going to hear it anyway. I'm sorry, terribly sorry. I wasn't thinking but..but that's not an excuse. I should have never said that."
"Mhm."
"You opened up to me about your mother and I just used it against you. It was a fucked up thing to do and I'm a twat I know. I'm not asking for your forgiveness because Merlin knows I don't deserve it I'm just asking you to let me apologize."
I thought for a second. I mean it couldn't hurt right?
"Well go on then Malfoy."I ushered him to go on.
"Right well, I want to say I'm sorry for saying that Macmillian was right. I was lying because I was angry. I don't know why i was angry but I was. Once again it's not an excuse and it's a shit reason but I'm sorry for it. But I'm even more sorry for what I said about your mother.I don't see my father often you're right but it's still not the same as losing a parent. I don't know how it feels so I won't say I do. "He rubbed the back of his neck.
I do know that I am sorry, deeply. I don't always know what I want but I do know this, I don't want to lose you Y/n...urmm, I mean Snape. I know i already have and it hurts but i deserve it. I truly do but even if I don't want you to walk around unhappy because of me. And you have, you can argue with me all you want but I've seen it Y/n. Your friends may be to daft to but I can see it. It's bold of me to think it's because of me but if it I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry. Because if that's the peace you need to get your smile as bright as it used to be then I'll do anything to make it right. But from the bottom of my twisted and messed up heart Y/n I'm sorry."
My face softened as I listened to him speak.
"Be mad Y/n."
I kept repeating to myself. But I couldn't. Maybe it was the hurt in his voice. Maybe it was the fact that my hand didn't tingle once. Or maybe it was the fact that he kept eye contact with me the entire time making sure every word he said sunk into me.
"Say something please."
"It was a bit cheesy no?"I asked smirking at him.
I watched his face get confused but then a smile spread on his face.
"I wasn't lying about a single thing I just said. I promise."He reassured me.
"I know that Malfoy. Perks of being me I guess."I rolled my eyes. "I haven't forgiven you yet Malfoy. Just so were clear."
"I know, I know. I'm not asking you to wear my rings again or anything like that. I just want us to be civil."
"You know you're a right arse. That was a very fucked up thing to say."
"I know.Again, I'm sorry. I'll never say anything like that again."
"Well I still hate you Malfoy."I said and started picking at my fingers.
"Right well I guess we'll just have to change that when ever you're ready right then love?"He said lifting my chin up with his finger so I was looking directly at him.
I felt my face heat up and my stomach turn. I ignored the warm feeling I got and tried to speak. "I-. Need I remind you I have a boyfriend Malfoy? If anyone else were to see this they might think you were being more than friendly."
"Good thing It's just us." He said finally dropping his hand off my chin.
"God you're going to give me whiplash."
"Hmm? How's that?"
"You're just so hot and cold all of the time. It's so confusing, one second you're calling me love and trying to kill somebody for writing me a rude letter,then you're agreeing with the twat and joking about my dead mum. It's all a bit confusing you must admit."
"Well I'll try to work on it but Y/n you've got to promise me one thing."He said before muttering a spell under his breath causing the door to unlock.
"And what's that?"
"That no matter how much you hate me you'll never get with Granger."
"What?!"
"Well it seems she's taking a more than friendly interest in you and while I'm all for lesbians or whatever she'd like to call herself, I hate her and she's worse than Diggory."
I rolled my eyes at him and smiled."Screw you Malfoy."I said moving to the door.
"I mean you have a boyfriend but who am I to deny you with the luxury that is me?"
"Eww. Actually I think I'm to find Hermione and see if she's up for a quick snogging sesh."I teased as I walked out of the door.
I made my way down the hallway and somehow felt better. I mean Malfoy just apologized to ME. THE MALFOY as in Draco Mafloy. Merlin knows he doesn't apologize for anything but he just did. And it was sincere. Sure I was still mad at him but I felt like I'd just won the best prize on the earth.
Y/n Snape posted 7:43 pm
@yourfavslytherin
My father DOES in fact smile. Honestly if I taught you lot I wouldn't smile either. 🤷