They haven't talked for the next three months following that night. Jade didn't intend for it to be that way - she just didn't know what to say after everything that went down. What would be a better way to start the conversation?
Option A. Sorry I've been selfish enough to touch you just to prove you wrong,
or rather,
Option B. can't you see that I'm just as confused as you are?
The pregnancy test Jade had seen at Perrie and Alex's house was still in its package, unused. It doesn't matter, though, because it's inevitable that sooner or later Perrie will fall pregnant. It was so obvious that Perrie and Alex have been trying to have another child, and Jade wouldn't stop scolding herself for pushing so hard to break them apart when they were actually making big plans for a future together. Even if, theoretically, Perrie was secretly not attracted to Alex at all - how is that Jade's business? Perrie is mature enough to make such serious decisions about her life for herself, and it sure doesn't seem like she is suffering everyday with her little family. That's the reason why Jade made the decision to stop interfering with Perrie's life.
Meanwhile, Alex had, unhappily, accepted the new nature of his and Perrie's relationship. He wondered whether this is the fallout that all married couples talk about. They say that after quite some time with the same person, it stops being exciting altogether, and all you're left with is friendship and occasional sex. The thing that left him puzzled was the fact that Perrie and him have been together for five years already, and they've had their ups and downs, but they were never like this. When Perrie grew apart from him for a short period of time, she used to tell him why. It was her anxiety, or a friend who hurt her badly, or some career milestone she kept missing again and again. These temporary times of falling apart only made them stronger after a little while, since he was always there for her and she was always coming back to him. A hard time never lasted this long before, and she didn't even give him a clue about what was weighing on her so much.
It was Perrie who was left with everyone's disappointment. She could see the cry for help in Alex's eyes every time he asked her what's wrong (again and again), only to be given another evasive answer by her (again and again). She hated herself for more or less kicking her best friend out of her house, and not speaking to her for three months. She was alone with her feelings in a way she hasn't been in a long time, and that scared her.
Life became one day and then another, a routine that only held little bits of happiness thanks to her beloved Axel, who was the sun shining on an ever-lasting gloomy day. She knew that she owed it to him to be a happy mother, but she just couldn't figure out what would make her one.
Perrie was spending time with Axel in the backyard when Jade finally called, and she had to remind herself to breathe before picking up the call. Then, moments later, Jade's voice sounded, and it made this storm of feelings that's been in Perrie's body quiet down. Regardless of anything, Jade still provided her with a deep, familiar sense of security somehow.
"Hello?" Jade said in a hesitant voice while the silence went on and on from Perrie's side. "Pez, are you there?"
"Yeah," she replied after another quiet moment.
"I know we haven't really talked in a while…" Jade half apologized, then asked, "how are you?"
"I'm fine," Perrie summarized, as if there weren't a hundred things she wanted to tell Jade. "You?"
"I've actually called to tell you that I'm moving," Jade shared, and Perrie could visualize the nervous look in her brown eyes perfectly, the one that always goes with that voice Jade was using as she was talking.
"Moving? Where?" She asked automatically.
"America," Jade answered, and the sky broke on Perrie right that moment. It had begun raining. She picked up Axel and went inside while she gathered her thoughts and held back tears.
"What do you mean you're moving to America?" Perrie had started slamming her questions one after another. "You've got a life here, and you don't even like it there. What about your mam? And Jordan?" And what about me? Perrie wanted to scream, but didn't pronounce a sound.
"I could get used to being there. My label thinks it will be better. More opportunities," Jade explained like she was reading from a script, then waited before she kept talking. "I'm sorry it's such a shock, I just wanted to let you know. Because you know that no matter what, you're important to me… Well, I hope you know that. And my mam will come visit quite often, that's what I'm guessing. About Jordan, though, I… I haven't really told him yet. I wanted you to be the first person to know. I haven't told anyone else."
"Jade, are you insane?" Perrie asked impulsively, and immediately regretted it. "Sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so… what I'm trying to say is that maybe you should think further of this. It's a big decision. Are you just going to drop that bomb on Jordan, that you're moving halfway across the world? Don't you think that he deserves to be a part of the decision making?"
This conversation wasn't really about Jordan, and both Jade and Perrie knew that. What Perrie was really asking was, don't you think I deserve to be someone you consult with?
"I'm sorry," Jade simply replied. "I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I need a change. Again, I'm so, so sorry."
---
The next morning, Jade told Jordan that she was moving, and that if he would like to come with her, that would make her the happiest. Then, before he had a chance to react, she made an excuse about plans with her friend Zack and left the apartment.
By the afternoon, when she returned, all of Jordan's stuff was gone. The apartment was half empty.
Perrie didn't know all that, because Jade hasn't been picking up her calls all day. So when she left the boys at home and knocked on Jade's door, to help her pack like they have agreed over text in the morning, she was surprised to find a tearful Jade who pulled her into a fulfilling hug.
Jade was emotional, but still hasn't truly processed that her relationship with Jordan ended, and Perrie saw and understood that, so she stayed the night. She slept on the living room sofa, in order to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness, and woke up early due to the bright sunlight in her face. Slowly, Jade and her began packing, even though there was this lump in Perrie's throat that made everything worse. She could not trust herself to speak long without finally bursting into tears, so Jade and her stayed mostly silent. Perrie handled the living room while Jade was responsible for the bedroom. She would come out of the bedroom every ten to fifteen minutes, to move boxes or get a sharpie to write on them, so when she didn't appear in the living room for more than half an hour, Perrie became slightly worried. She walked towards the bedroom, gently knocked on the surprisingly closed door, and then opened it. Jade was sitting on the edge of the bed, and stared at a pair of men's blue trunks that laid, wrinkled, on the floor.
"He forgot his lucky ones," Jade turned to look at Perrie and broke down, because it finally hit her that he's gone. Perrie's heart broke for her as she wrapped her in a hug and put sweet kisses on the soft shoulder of her skin. It felt natural. She understood how Jade felt that night, when she kissed her skin.
---
Perrie didn't stay for any more nights, because she had a family to take care of at home, but she came in everyday to help Jade. Not only with packing, but with everything.
On an afternoon, when things were getting better and the mood was getting lighter, Perrie grabbed a wine bottle from the kitchen, and was met with Jade's eyes staring at her, and then awkwardly rushing to look away.
"You can ask me whatever you want," she told Jade, because the question was obviously about to erupt from her. It was a new, fresh kind of feeling, being open with each other. They both liked it a lot.
"Are you pregnant?" Jade asked quickly, and was met with one of Perrie's classic, slightly disappointed, slightly beaming smiles. Perrie shook her head, and then said,
"We're trying. But it's not really working so far," she grabbed two glasses and poured wine into both. "It's kind of funny, considering how the first one wasn't planned. I guess something's changed. I was carefree then. Now I'm… not. Stress affects the chances quite a bit." She took a sip, and Jade grabbed the second cup.
"What's got you stressed?" Jade asked, although she was pretty sure that she already knew the answer. She just wanted to hear it being said out loud, like it was some kind of confession.
"You," Perrie replied quickly and looked away. She was fast to change the subject as the blush appeared on her cheeks. "When's your flight again?"
"Thursday."
Two days together, that's all they had left.