I suck at angst and I know it, so this was a bit of practice. If you hate this chapter let me know.
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Harry was in the kitchen of their flat cooking breakfast. It had been two years since they had graduated hogwarts, and was so happy to finally be with the love of his life.
He smiled as Neville walked into the kitchen, but it fell when he saw how distraught he looked. "Baby, what's wrong, are you okay?" Neville took a deep, steadying breath, before looking Harry in the eyes.
"We need to talk.." Harry's heart stopped, and he nodded, turning back to the stove and turning it off, before sitting at the table with the other. "What's wrong honey?" He reached out to hold Neville's hand, but was hurt when he pulled it away.
"I.. I think we should break up…I'm sorry…" Harry began to shake. "I.. can I know why? Please, was it something I did? Can I fix it somehow?" Neville was quick to wipe those thoughts from his head. "No it's just, when two people are in love they should feel the same way about each other, right? I- I can't force anyone to be in a relationship with me."
Harry nodded, not quite hearing everything he said. "I don't understand, I love you, do you not love me?" Nevile sighed, "Of course I love you, but not the same way you love me. I'll be gone by friday." The next four days were torture for Harry, watching as Neville moved all of his thing out of every room, leaving Harry with no nothing of his. Not even a hoodie to hug at night while he was crying.
Over the next month he fell into a deep depression drinking or sleeping constantly. Rarely eating unless Hermione forced him to. The flat looked more bare than ever. Of course the Wizarding world was wondering where the boy who lived twice was, but Harry didn't care. He wanted to believe that this was all a nightmare, that he would wake up any second, and have Neville wrapped in his arms.
He stopped going out, no one except friends had seen the hide nor hair of the boy who lived for months, the only reason he went out at all was to get more liquor.
He was caught between fantasy and reality, somehow twisting the kind way Neville had broken up with him, into one of the worst beratings he'd ever had, he found himself crying to sleep more than once over the thing imaginary Neville had said, believing they were true. Hell, he would have rather woken up in that cupboard again.
One day, on a particularly sunny day he awoke to banging on his flat door. He groaned as he heard Hermione talking through it. "Harry, come on please open up!" Harry spelled the door open, burying his face back into a pillow. "Harry, are you okay?" He looked up to see her looking down at him with concern.
"'Mione, you know I haven't been okay since he left." She frowned. "Maybe it was meant to be!" But she regretted it immediately after seeing the look on Harry's face. "So you're saying it was meant to be too? Hermione, I thought he was the one I was gonna spend my life with! I loved him with everything I had in me! But apparently he didn't love me back.." He went back to his pillow.
Hermione pulled him off the couch, and brought him to his room. She dumped him on the bed, but gasped, as tears welled in her eyes when she saw the black velvet box. "Harry! Don't tell me you were planning on proposing!" Harry laughed, though the sound was gross, and dirty instead of the one Hermione had heard since they were eleven.
"Pretty stupid, huh? I hate myself for buying that bloody ring." He glared at the box in her hand. "Harry, what do you want me to do with it?" Hermione asked, carefully plotting her words.
He shrugged, going under the blankets and falling asleep. Hermione sighed, and pocketed the ring. Three months later Harry was moved into Number 13 Grimmauld Place. He says he couldn't stand being in the flat he had shared with Neville for so long, but when trying to find him, people realized it was so he could hide from everyone.
Harry had set up a set up in the barely used library, on top of the tallest and widest bookcase. He had carved an alcove into the wall, making for a perfect hiding spot, and he was able to close, and disguise, it with a piece of wood, while still being able to see through it. He had a sleeping bag, and a large cooler with an infinite cooling charm on it.
He looked so much different from how he had four months. His cheeks were sunken, and his eyes looked dead and dull. The vibrancy his eyes once had was gone, instead filled with melancholy, and sadness. He looked like Sirius the first night he'd met him
"Kreacher, come here please…" He whispered, and the ragged house elf was in front of him. Even the house elf who loathed him was worried.
'Though it's probably over who will keep the house right, and who'll it go to…' Harry thought, bitterly. "What does Master Potter need?" Kreacher asked, muttering under his breath. "Is there a way to get rid of myself without anyone knowing?"
Harry looked down at the ground, the fall would kill him, but someone would find him and try to help him, which would only cause people more pain than necessary. "There is no way Kreacher knows of." The old house elf looked startled. "Ahh, okay… thanks anyways." Harry was about to dismiss him, when a thought ran through his mind.
"Would you like to be set free, Kreacher?" Said elf shook his head, and left. Harry sighed, and got down. He was going to get something out of the sitting room when there was a knock on the door, and he dove behind the couch, freezing when he realized it was members of the Order of Phoenix.
"Harry, are you in here?" Came Kingsley's voice. "I don't think so, we searched the whole house last time we were here…" came a voice Harry knew very well, which caused his breath to catch in his throat. It was obvious people had heard him, because a set of footsteps came towards the couch, and shadow fell over him.
"He's back here!" Bill shouted. Harry shook his head, and curled into a ball. He felt the couch moving away and began hyperventilating. He heard a gasp as they saw him. 'Whatever, I don't care at this point. Let them see what the boy who lived looks like after a simple break-up!'
He was shaking now, and could vaguely feel a hand trying to unwind him, but to no avail. "H..ry ca. .o. he.r m.? A.. y.u o..y?" He could understand Remus was asking him questions, but he could hardly focus. His ears were filled with a loud ringing. The apparition prevention charms from before the war had long since been lifted.
He jerked from everyone's grip, and apparated to his cove in the library, slamming the wood shut. He lit the candles, the vanilla and lavender scent calming him. He crawled into his sleeping bag and cried for hours. He felt lucky that he had restocked the cooler with food that day.
He heard the library door slam open, and quickly casted a silencing charm on the alcove. He snuffed the candles as well, knowing that they couldn't see it, but better being safe than sorry. He could hear them yelling for him, and could only sob harder.
Apparently he was too out of it to cast his spell properly, as Percy opened the 'door' and found him. "I found him! I found him!" He shouted down to the others on the floor, and within seconds everyone was at the entrance.
He folded into his sleeping bag, zipping it the rest of the way, holding it tightly, begging everything that he could keep them out. He heard someone telling them to go away, and someone unzipped the sleeping bag, and Neville was there.
Harry started crying harder, curling away from him. Neville closed the alcove door, and properly set the silencing charm. He held his arms out for Harry. When Harry only scooted away from him, and Neville's heart broke a little. He moved closer, cuddling him, even though Harry kept trying to pull away.
"Harry James Potter, if you don't talk to me now, I will Avada Kedavra your ass right here and now. Why are you doing this? Why are you putting yourself through this?! Especially over me!"
Harry's sobs didn't die down, in fact, they worsened. "I-i love you! So damn much, but y-you don't love me, and I know it's stupid, but I need you!" Harry clung on tighter. "Harry, you don't love me, you want someone you can do everything with, including have sex." Harry looked dumbstruck. "That's why you left? You thought I only loved you for sex?" Neville blushed "Well yeah!"
Harry pulled him down into a crushing kiss, stealing his breath. "I don't care, I love you too much to give a shit if you don't want sex! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!" Neville smiled, and hugged Harry closer. "Okay, I won't. I promise."
When the others found them, they were fast asleep, and when they finally woke up, they agreed they should take baby steps back into their relationship. They eventually built back into what they had before. They still had their fights and arguments, but they loved each other nonetheless.
Like I said it's bad right? Anyway, the reason for the cluster posting will be at the bottom of the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy te other chapters as much as I did writing them
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