Thankyou for the prompt @DaleenAbusaad .
I hope you feel I did justice to your idea.
Brace yourself for a long OS.
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After a long sex session, Eda laid quietly in Serkan's arms who was gently caressing her arms and back. He had covered both of them with sheets and Eda was almost half asleep. They were both supposed to be in a party in a few hours and the evening winds coming through their bedroom window was making her shiver a little.
"Serkan?" She said softly drawing his attention back to her. She had been thinking about having this conversation with him since a few weeks now, not finding the right time to have it though.
It had been happy 8 months of their marriage and Eda was really ready and eager to take their marriage to next level now.
"Effendim sweetheart?" Serkan said kissing her hair as Eda's head was on his chest.
"Serkan. I was thinking. I mean I want to stop taking the birth control pills." Eda said hesitantly.
"Tamam. No issues. I have told you so many times before askim, if you are not comfortable taking the pills, I will use condoms. I am completely okay with it baby." Serkan replied really casually caressing her back.
"Serkan. That's not what I meant. I am thinking.. like I am ready to take our marriage one step forward.. I mean I think maybe we can stop the birth control measures and try for a baby." Eda said hesitant again and Serkan's hand on her back stilled.
"Eda." He said moving her to the side a little and sitting up. Eda sat up as well and searched for her bra, only to find his shirt lying around and she quickly wore it, leaving it half unbuttoned.
Serkan's face was completely white and Eda felt really worried.
"Serkan. We are on the same page right? You are ready to have kids as well, right?" Eda asked scared that his face and stiff body, hands in his lap was telling a completely different story.
"Edaa. We haven't talked about it since our marriage. But you do know I am not really a big fan of having kids. I mean before falling in love with you, I didn't even want kids. And you know it very well. I have told you a lot of times before marriage." He said sternly, his eyes away from Eda's face which was creasing more with worry lines.
"Ama Serkan I thought it was before our marriage. I thought you would change your mind after our marriage. I mean we have been in so much love, and I thought you would want a family with me. I really want kids Serkan." She let out as tears rolled down her face.
"Eda. It's not that. I mean I do want kids. Or I don't know. I can't decide. But not now, not in the next 2-3 years. I am not ready Eda." He said standing up and wearing his trackpants.
"Ama. 2-3 years is a really long time Serkan. And you are not sure about having kids at all?" She asked shocked.
"Eda, I thought you knew this before marriage and I thought you were okay with that." Serkan said desperately.
"Serkaaan. I thought you would change your mind. I never thought you wouldn't want kids." She said sobbing.
"Don't cry Eda. And no I haven't thought about it. I haven't changed my mind yet. I mean I never pondered about it since our marriage. Eda, we still have so many things to do. You even have to complete your studies, there's holding and Artlife and then we still have so many countries we want to travel to. I can't let a baby ruin our goals and dreams." Serkan said picking up another tshirt from the wardrobe.
"Serkaannn!! How can you say like that? A child doesn't ruin our dreams and goals. It's made with love. We.. I always wanted us to have a big family." She said crying again not believing that Serkan really didn't want children.
"I was always clear with you Eda. You should have thought about it before marrying me. I told you, my decision is final for now. I don't want to even think about kids for next 2-3 years. After that, I will make a decision." He said picking up his phone angrily.
"You can't be serious Serkan. What the hell?" Eda said shouting. Serkan didn't reply just turned around to leave the room.
"Where are you going? We have to go the Ceren's birthday party in 2 hours." Eda asked surprised seeing him pick up the car keys.
"I am not coming. You can go Eda. I need to be alone for some time." He said leaving the room.
"Serkan...." She shouted but he was long gone.
Eda sobbed for a long time wondering how come Serkan was still on that stage. She thought he might have changed his feelings about kids after a few months of happy marriage but she was wrong.
It was 30 minutes left for them to go the party. She had tried calling him a few times but he hadn't picked up. She even messaged him but there were no replies.
Sadly, she got ready herself, with no mood to go, but it was her best friends' birthday party and she had no choice but to go alone.
She did heavy makeup hiding her swollen eyes and drove to Ceren's party venue.
"Dada, where's Eniste?" Melo asked as soon as she entered alone.
"Umm he had some urgent work. He couldn't come." Eda lied not wanting to tell her friends the reason about their fight.
Everyone enjoyed the party, celebrating Eda's birthday but all Eda did was wait for Serkan to pick up the call or reply to her messages. She sent him messages again and again asking if he was going to come to the party.
It was the first time they had a disagreement to such extent that Eda felt really lonely. He had skipped an event because of their disagreement and told Eda to go alone and she had no clue where he was. She was sitting at a side, not really in a mood to party. Time and again, she looked at the door hoping Serkan would come.
When it was quite late, and Eda was sure he wouldn't come now, and her friends had noticed her stress but didn't ask her too much, took her to have drinks.
She resisted at first but then drank a shot or two, picking up a bottle of beer and going to sit by Ceren's pool, wanting some alone time without the loud music.
She dipped her feet in the pool and just as she closed her eyes, she heard a voice.
"Eda. What are you doing here alone?"
This wasn't the voice she wanted to hear. She opened her eyes and looked back. Her old best friend Deniz, who she hadn't seen in years was standing by her side.
"Deniz. Wayy. I didn't know you were in Istanbul." She said smiling a little.
"I couldn't miss Ceren's birthday for the 5th time in a row. I had to come. Anyways. How are you... uhmm Mrs. Bolat is it?" Deniz said chuckling and smirking.
"Ne? What's wrong with that?" Eda asked frowning.
"Well, I didn't expect you to marry a cold ass robot who didn't even accompany you to your friends' party. How did you change your preferences so much Edacim?" Deniz said chuckling and sitting down next to her, folding his jeans a little to dip in his feet as well.
"Well. I fell in love to start with. And don't call my husband a cold robot. Only I can call him that." Eda said giggling, the effect of alcohol definitely showing up.
"What happened? Are you okay? Why are you sitting her alone?" Deniz asked cautiously.
"Nothing. I am okay." Eda replied back.
"Eda. I know you really well. Something is wrong with you." Deniz spoke worriedly.
"Ohh apart from the fact that I just got to know that my husband doesn't want kids at all and I want them so much, I am completely fine." Eda said laughing and chugging her beer, having no control over her senses.
"Ooooohhh. That must hurt. Knowing that after marriage. I remember you always talked about having a big family. I am so sorry Edacim." Deniz said apologetically.
"No, it's okay. I love him so much to give up on my dreams." Eda said wiping off a few tears.
"Edaaa. You shouldn't have to compromise. Why would you? You can't just give up on having children, having a big family, that you wanted since so long just because your husband doesn't want to. You deserve so much better Edacim." Deniz drawled carefully.
"Oyle mi? And who would that so much better me?" Eda asked a little irritated.
"Me.. I can give you all that you deserve Edacim. You know how much I love you. Get a divorce from that Bolat, Eda. We can get married. We can have a big happy family. We know each other since childhood Eda. We have always been on the same wavelength canim." Deniz spoke trying to hold her hand but Eda pushed it away.
"Are you kidding me? Stop. I would never do that. I love Serkan. If he doesn't want kids, I won't have them either.
They aren't that big of a deal." She said getting up tipsy and turning around only to find Serkan standing behind her and Deniz with folded hands.
"Serkan? You came? I have been calling you since so long, why didn't you pick up my calls?" Eda said walking to him tipsy and trying to hug him but he held her back.
"Who is this guy Eda? Who the fuck is this man to tell you to get a divorce from me?" Serkan asked out of complete anger.
"Ohhh that.. that is my best friend. Deniz. We met after 4 years." Eda said picking up another bottle of beer from the pool side table and drinking it, only to be stopped by Serkan who took the bottle from her hands and kept it back on the table.
"Enough. You are already too much drink. It's enough now." Serkan said to Eda angrily.
"No. You don't get to come here and scold me for drinking. I have been trying to call you and message you since the last 3 hours. You know how lonely and abandoned I felt? My husband not wanting me, not wanting to have kids with me and just running away when I just initiated a conversation about having kids." Eda said back angrily trying to free herself from his grip.
"Eda.. Eda. Stop. This is not the place or time to talk about this. We will talk at home. Come on, we are going home. Where's your coat?" He said dragging her along with him.
"Serkan Bolat.. is it? Stop, you can't really force Eda to go if she doesn't want to dude." Deniz spoke from behind.
"Excuse me.. who are you to tell me what I can do and what I cannot with my wife? Dude fuck off. She is mine, I can do whatever the fuck I want with her." Serkan said out of complete anger and jealousy not realising he was way out of line saying this and it was so loud that Eda's friends were now standing outside and looking at the scene.
Before Serkan could apologise Eda about the way he spoke, he received a slap from Eda.
"How dare you? I am your property? You can do whatever the fuck you want with me? Ohh my god. I can't believe this. Aren't all the men same? Treating women as their properties?" Eda said shocked and completely out of anger.
"Edaaaa.!! I told you this is not the place to talk or sort out things. We are going home. Come on."
He said subsiding his anger and holding her hand.
"I am not going anywhere with you. Ohh my god. I can't believe how could you say such things to me. I thought you loved me Serkan." She said sobbing.
"Eda. I love you baby. I do. It was all because of anger. Eda. Please. I am sorry. It was just because of our talk back home and then seeing this guy telling you to get a divorce." Serkan said.
"And you thought you could literally say that to me? Never mind, I am going to my aunt's house. Deniz can you drive me back to Hala's house?" She asked wiping off her tears while Deniz nodded quickly and Serkan looked at her shocked.
"Eda. Come home." He said softly.
"I am not and don't try to force me into it just because I am your 'property'." Eda said mockingly.
"I will drop you to your aunt's house then whether you like it or not." He said not taking no for an answer.
"Ohh try me then Serkan." Eda said back angrily and walked out of the house while Serkan and Deniz followed behind.
Serkan knew Eda was too stubborn and much more when she was angry or pissed off, so he let her go with Deniz only when she agreed to take Melo along as well. At least she wasn't going alone with whoever this guy was. Serkan thought to wait for Eda's anger to subside to talk to her.
He waited for Eda to sit in Deniz's car along with Melo and drove off once they left.
The next morning, Serkan went to office quite early hoping Eda would come. He had asked Melo to give her regular updates of how she was after this much drinking and Melo had replied immediately saying she was feeling sick since night but now she was getting ready to come to office.
When Eda came to office, wearing whatever clothes she had kept in her room at her aunt's house, Serkan immediately walked to her when he entered the conference room, currently their joint office.
"Eda.Are you okay? I am sorry." He said trying to hug her but she stepped back.
"We can talk about it later. We have a meeting in few minutes." She said plainly.
Serkan nodded and went back to sit on his chair. They had always talked that even if they were married, they were going to keep their personal and professional lives separately. And hence they knew however messed up their personal life was currently, they had to act professionally in office. Like a perfect team.
After a day long of meetings, where in Eda skipped her meal and was picking up her handbag to leave, Serkan spoke,
"Where are you going Eda?" He asked softly.
"Back to hala's house." Eda said as a matter of fact.
"Lutfen Eda. Let's go back home. Come with me. Please. I am begging you. Let's sort our differences." He said desperately.
"I need time Serkan. I really need time. I can't come to term with the fact that you don't want kids, or that you hate kids. I really need time alone to accept that before we go back to live the way we were. Don't get me wrong, we aren't separating or I am not leaving you. I just need time to accept that the biggest goal and dreams I had with you won't be fulfilled." She said teary eyed.
"Edaa. That's not what I had said. I didn't plainly refuse. I just said I will think about it again in 2-3 years from now. Currently I am not ready. Maybe in 2-3 years I will be." He said holding her hand.
"Maybe? See Serkan. You are not even sure what your decision will be after 3 years. I really need to make up my mind and prepare myself that if you refuse after a few years, what will I do? I mean it's not easy on giving up on such a big dream in a few hours. I need time. I need to mentally prepare myself. Because if you refuse after 3 years, and the way in which we will be so connected and dependent on each other emotionally, physically and mentally after 3 years. It would hurt a lot more to listen that from you." Eda said crying.
"Eda.. I can't have kids right now. I am not ready." He said desperately.
"I know. I am not forcing you too. Anyways, a child can't be conceived if only one person in a marriage is ready. It takes two to conceive a child Serkan. So I am not pressuring or forcing you. I can't get pregnant without your efforts Serkan." She said as a matter of fact and Serkan looked at her shocked.
"Eda. That's not what I meant. Listen.. let's have dinner together. You didn't have anything since morning. I am worried for you." He said caressing her arms.
"I will have it at my hala's house Serkan. Don't worry about me. And I really need time to think this through. Take care." She said wiping off her tears, giving him a quick peck on the lips and leaving.
A few days passed like this for them. Eda still stayed at her aunt's. She still wasn't talking much to Serkan. Only whenever required in office. They both were on edge, missing each other, more importantly each other's embrace, warmth. Serkan was really frustrated and it could be seen in his behaviour in the office. He had always been asking Eda how much more time she needed and he had even asked yesterday night if she was actually thinking of divorcing him and begging her to not take that decision.
The next morning, as he waited for Eda to come to office from her aunt's house, he received a call from Melo.
"Hello Eniste." She said hurriedly.
"Evet Melo? Is everything okay? Is Eda okay?" Serkan asked worried.
"No. Eda fainted." Melo let out immediately.
"What do you mean Eda fainted? Where? When? How? Where is she? I am coming right away." He said panicking, picking up his car keys. Already on his way out.
"We are taking her to hospital Eniste. Come there." Melo said back.
"Hospital? What why? What happened?" He asked more panicked.
"She fainted while she was in the bathroom Serkan. She hit her head with the counter. It started bleeding. We are already in ambulance, taking her to the hospital. You come there." Melo said.
"Tamam. Take care of her. Please." Serkan begged, extremely worried what had happened.
When he reached the hospital and immediately rushed to the room mentioned by Melo, he stopped in it's track. Eda was lying with a head bandage and sleeping currently.
"What happened?" He asked teary eyed.
"She fainted while taking a shower eniste. I don't know how it happened but she had been skipping meals since the last few days." Melo said.
"What did the doctors say?" He asked looking around if there was a doctor or nurse around.
"They did some tests, they will be back in some time, once Eda gains consciousness."
Melo told him sadly.
"Tamam." He said going to sit by her side, kissing her lightly.
"Eda. You have to wake up. I can't see you like this. Wake up and we will sort everything out baby." He said silently crying while Melo rubbed his back soothingly.
As the doctors came back in with the test results with a grave expressions on their face, Serkan became anxious.
"Serkan bey. We have a bad news." The doctor said.
Serkan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever it would be.
"We couldn't save the child. Unfortunately your wife has undergone a miscarriage. We are extremely sorry." The doctor said and Serkan's heart sank as his face became as white as chalk.
"I am sorry what? Child? Miscarriage? Eda.. Eda is.. was pregnant? No. This isn't possible. How can it be? We have been using protection. I mean she took birth control pills regularly since long." Serkan said confused.
"Serkan bey. On the basis of research, it has been concluded that pills are 99% effective. So might be possible that this is the case of that 1% inefficiency. Also sometimes long use of one kind of pill renders it effect null. So it can be possible that even though she is taking the pills, she might have got pregnant incase you weren't using any other form of protection simultaneously." The doctor said and Serkan shook his head.
(A/N: not sure about this being true medically, so just read it as I assumed.)
"No, we weren't. We were just relying on the birth control pills."
"That explains the conception Serkan bey. However due to her body being dehydrated, not properly eating and the impact of the fall, she had already miscarried by the time she was brought here. Because it was a really early stage, probably the foetus must be below 20 days, and it was on the attachment stage, the miscarriage happened. But on the positive side, there's a good news." The doctor said when he saw Serkan's face filled with flowing tears and he was rubbing his forehead.
Serkan looked up to the doctor, who spoke,
"Since it was a very young pregnancy, a miscarriage isn't going to have the side effects. I mean miscarriage after 2nd month cause a lot of issues. But be assured that an incident like this is not going to cause hinderance to further pregnancies or cause risk. Serkan bey, you both can try for more pregnancies without any risk." The doctor told and Serkan broke down crying.
"We will keep Eda for tonight. Tomorrow you can take her home Serkan bey. She will gain consciousness soon. I hope you will be able to break out the news to her." The doctors said and excused themselves and left the room.
It was all wrong. She sobbed as he realised that he was unknowingly becoming a father, but now he was not.
"Eniste. I don't think Eda knew." Melo said patting Serkan's back who was crying.
Serkan looked up shocked at Melo.
"Eniste. The doctors said it was really early in the pregnancy. She wasn't even having any symptoms. She didn't know Eniste." Melo said crying as well.
"Ohh my god. How could this happen? It's all wrong. She will be devastated when she gets to know this. How can I even tell her something like this?" Serkan said rubbing his forehead and sobbing with shallow breaths.
"You will have to do it Eniste. You can't hide the truth from her. Don't worry. The doctors said that this will not harm future pregnancies." Melo said soothingly.
"Tamam. Melo, if you don't mind, can I have some alone time with Eda?" He asked and Melo nodded.
"Of course. I will be out. If you need anything, call me." Melo said exiting the room.
Once alone with her, he sat on her side, caressing her cheeks and one hand on her belly.
"Eda. You were pregnant. You didn't know probably. But.. you were carrying our child. Unknowingly I rejected him/her while she was inside waiting to come to this world. Ohh my god. How could I? It was our child. We were having a child. Eda. Just wake up. I promise you I will try for a baby with you. I want to have kids with you. I am just scared that I will turn out like my father and my kids will hate me. I don't want to be a bad father Eda. I am very scared." He said sobbing.
Some hours later, as Eda woke up and saw herself in a hospital room, and Serkan lying his head on her side while sitting on a chair, she spoke,
"Serkan.."
Serkan's head immediately shot up and Eda panicked seeing his crying face.
She sat up and spoke,
"What happened? What's wrong with me?" She asked anxiously.
"Edaaa. Thank god you woke up. Ohh my god. I am so relieved." He said immediately hugging her.
"But why am i here Serkan?" Eda asked clueless.
"You fell down in the shower Eda. You fainted and hit your head. Melo got you to hospital." Serkan said caressing her cheeks.
"Why are you crying? I am fine totally." Eda said confused.
"Eda. There's something else." Serkan said scared of her reaction when he tells her.
"What else?" She asked back totally confused.
"You.. you... you were.." Serkan spoke hesitantly.
"I was what?" She asked.
"You had a miscarriage when you fell Eda." He said really slowly and watched horrified expressions on Eda's face.
"What? What miscarriage? I am pregnant? I was pregnant? How? When? What happened?" She asked already crying looking at him and Serkan understood she really didn't know.
"Evet. Calm down. Calm down first baby. I will tell you everything." He said trying to engulf her in a hug.
"Serkan. I was pregnant. I swear I didn't know. Trust me." She said sobbing.
"I know. I trust you Eda." Serkan said softly and then told her everything the doctors told.
"Ohh my god. No.. no why did this happen? Oh my god. Our baby. I lost it." She said crying but then looked up at him leaning back from the hug.
"You must be happy. Aren't you? You didn't want a child and you would be relieved that I miscarried?" She said angrily.
"Edaa. No. No. I am not. Eda. I am not happy. How can I be when I lost the child as well? Eda. Please. Try to understand my point of view. I want to have kids with you. But I am scared that I will turn out like my dad and I will not bring them up well. I am scared they will hurt me." Serkan said sobbing.
They both were crying in the hug and feeling the pain of loosing the child.
"You want kids with me?" Eda asked back surprised.
"Evet. I do Eda. I really do. I am sorry I made you believe otherwise. I am just really scared of being a bad father to them. Your.. your. Losing a child today made me open my eyes Eda. I am so sorry. You wouldn't have gone through this, had I told you about my insecurities before. I am really sorry my love. Please forgive me. I want to be a father of your children. I would be lucky Eda. But I don't want to be bad father." He said sobbing and Eda looked at him with love.
"You will not be Serkan. You will be an amazing father. Just like you are an amazing husband. I am sorry too for not understanding you and fighting with you in Ceren's party." Eda said looking down embarrassed.
"It's okay Eda. I understand why you said what you said. And I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I promise I will never let that happen again ever." He said bringing a batch of fresh tears in Eda's eyes.
"Serkan. We were having a baby.. our baby. How could the god be so cruel? Taking our baby from us? Whyyy? I.. I.. we lost it. We lost our baby." She said sobbing more loudly.
"Eda. Relax. Don't worry. We will have a baby. I promise. The doctors said we can have baby without any complications of this miscarriage. I promise we will try again." He said soothingly rubbing her back and kissing her hair again and again.
"But.. I.. I want our baby. This one. I.. it would have been our first." She said and Serkan broke down to tears as well.
"I kmow. Ama I am sorry Eda. We can't bring it back. But we will have kids Eda. I promise you love." He said again and again calming her down. She eventually fell asleep in his arms and he laid her back in bed and then cuddled with her after days, both feeling much calmer and relieved.
The next few days were difficult for them, Eda being much more emotional and sensitive to this incident and Serkan trying his best to keep her stress in control, making her eat and rest at regular intervals. She was back to living with him and they had more or less sorted out things, falling in their routine back, completely trying to forget these unfortunate days from their lives.
5 months later, 5 months of constant trying for baby, finally Eda was sitting on the bathroom counter with a pregnancy stick in her hand, and two in Serkan's as he stood next to Eda. They had been desperately trying since past few months for a baby and Eda had been showing some symptoms recently, hence they had decided to take the test at home first before going to the doctor.
"Serkan I am scared." Eda said almost on the verge of tears.
"Don't be. We have all the time in the world. If not today, we will keep trying baby." Serkan said caressing her hair.
"What if, that incident. I mean miscarriage had it effects?" Eda asked anxiously.
"Eda. You heard the doctors baby. It wasn't going to cause any risk or complications." Serkan replied back patiently.
"Tamam. Come on. You check. 2 minutes are over." She said closing her eyes and handing the stick in her hand to Serkan.
He took his time checking 3 of time and then kept it aside, smiled seeing Eda's tightly closed eyes and crossed fingers. He swept her off the counter into his arms and rotated her around.
"You are pregnant Eda!" He exclaimed happily and Eda laughed and giggled seeing him so happy.
He definitely had come a long way since last 5 months and Eda was going to make sure he lost all his inhibitions and insecurities of being a father sooon.
She bent down a little to kiss him with all her strength as he opened the door of their bathroom and took her to bed, picking up his phone to book a doctors' appointment for later. Because first he was going to worship his queen; the mother of his first child who he was going to meet soon.
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I hope you guys liked it. Drop in your valuable comments.