Winter's mood continued to plummet. Two days later, Karina managed to drag her out of bed and made her tag along to class. They sat at their usual table with Irene and Seulgi, and Karina immediately got to work on finishing her painting. It was the Friday before spring break, and she had no time to waste.
She was so focused on her easel that she didn't pay much attention to Winter, who was painting her own canvas. Karina finally finished her painting, and just in time. The teacher dismissed the class just as she set her brush down and took a step backwards.
"Whatd'ya think, Jeong?" Karina turned around, smiling softly. Her smile quickly faded when she saw Winter asleep with her head on the table, and a completely black canvas next to her.
"Jeong... Winter," Karina moved over and gently shook the girl awake. Winter mumbled something inaudible and looked up at Karina with a confused expression on her face.
"What is this?" Karina laughed nervously, pointing to the canvas. Winter squinted, blinking a few times, and shrugged before laying her head back down on the table.
Karina glanced over at Irene worriedly. The other brunette raised an eyebrow, just as confused as Karina was. Growing concerned, the older girl quickly cleaned up their table before tugging Winter to her feet.
"C'mon, sleepyhead, we're gonna go get pizza," Karina bit her lip hopefully. Luckily, Winter smiled and nodded her head.
"I liiiikeeee pizza," she yawned mid-sentence, tugging on her beanie. Karina looked over at Irene and Seulgi.
"Wanna celebrate spring break with us?" Karina asked, inviting them to join along. They accepted, and soon all four classmates were packed into a booth at Marco's.
"Pizza," Winter whispered, tapping Karina's shoulder and looking around. "Where is it?"
"It's coming, silly," Karina laughed and ruffled Winter's hair. The smaller girl scoffed playfully and reached up to fix her beanie.
Surprisingly, when the pizza did arrive at the table, Winter didn't even finish one slice. Typically, the girl would barrel through at least two slices. Karina grew concerned, but when she asked Winter if something was wrong, the smaller girl simply shook her head.
Winter was quiet on the way home. The only sound that could be heard was the smaller girl's steady tapping of her fingers against the window.
"We're home," Karina said quietly. Winter just nodded and followed Karina upstairs to the apartment. Karina watched as her girlfriend headed towards the staircase as soon as they got inside.
"Wait, Jeong," Karina jogged forwards and grabbed Winter's hand. "Something's wrong. I can tell."
"I am fine," Winter insisted, shaking her head. Karina didn't believe it one bit.
"Winter, you h-,"
"I am fine!" Winter snapped, yanking her arm out of Karina's grip and storming upstairs. The unexpected outburst took Karina by surprise, and it took her brain a few seconds to register what had just happened.
Karina knew better than to question Winter. It would only bother the girl more. Unsure of what to do, Karina ascended the stairs slowly. She heard rustling in the bathroom and realized Winter was with Clifford. Hopefully that would calm her down a bit.
Karina was about to enter her bedroom when she heard a groan of frustration. Raising an eyebrow, she quietly moved towards the door and listened.
Winter was playing the piano, Karina realized. The smaller girl would get the first few notes of twinkle twinkle little star, but then miss a key and slam her hands down on the keyboard in anger. This would result in a loud screeching noise from the piano, and another frustrated groan from Winter.
Taking a deep breath, Karina forced herself to move away from the door. She had to give Winter time to herself. With a heavy sigh, Karina slipped into her bedroom and left the door open a crack behind her.
If she hadn't been listening intently to Winter's piano playing, she probably wouldn't have noticed the way her mattress made an odd crinkling noise when she sat down. But she did.
Karina raised an eyebrow and stood up. Confused, she pressed down on her mattress with her hand; earning a soft crackling noise. Her first instinct was to lift the mattress, and so she did.
Her eyes widened when she saw what was underneath. Dried, dead flowers were scattered under the mattress, with stray petals everywhere. Karina bent down, gently taking one of the flowers into her hand and turning it around.
"What the hell?" she whispered to herself, setting the mattress down back and standing up. She had a feeling Winter would have something to say about this. Karina couldn't help but feel like this was some twisted form of symbolism.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, the older girl cupped the flower in her hand and hid it behind her back. With her free hand, she slowly opened the bathroom door.
"Hey Jeong," she leaned against the doorframe, trying to play it cool. "Wanna go for a walk and check on the flowers?"
Winter froze. She looked up at Karina slowly, panic flickering in her dark brown eyes. Biting her lip, Winter shook her head and looked back down at the kitten in her lap.
"Why not?" Karina tilted her head to the side. Winter just kept her head down, fumbling with her fingers nervously.
"Does it have something to do with this?" Karina sighed and held out the flower she had hidden behind her back. The moment Winter looked up, her hands started to shake. She set Clifford down and stood up, backing away from Karina.
"I-I..."
"What's going on Winter?" Karina asked, desperation in her voice. "What does this mean?" she held up the flower between them.
Winter looked down at her feet guiltily and shook her head. She toyed with the sleeves of her sweatshirt, trying to find a way out of this. Desperately, she tried to slip past Karina and out the door. The brown eyed girl quickly moved to her side to block the exit. Winter inhaled sharply.
"Winter, please," Karina held up the flower once more and looked at her girlfriend pleadingly.
"I... I..." Winter shook her head and took a step backwards. "I did... I did not... They cannot die!" She brought her hands up to her face and breathed in deeply.
"I can not lose the pretty things, I can not!" Winter let her hands fall back to her sides and she shook her head, beginning to pace back and forth in the small space between them.
"If I lose them, then I lose y-you... then... then I... I just..." Winter groaned in frustration. "I do not feel like Winter!"
"You don't... what?" Karina quickly moved forward and grabbed her girlfriend's shoulders to calm her down. "You don't feel like Winter?"
The small girl shook her head, holding her hands up between them. "My hands shake and I am tired and I can not think," she squeezed her eyes shut. "I can not lose you..."
"Lose me? Who says you're going to lose me?" Karina grew even more worried, feeling her heart start to speed up. She hated seeing Winter like this, but she needed answers.
"The... The..." Winter stumbled over her words and she brought her hand up to knock on her own forehead softly. Karina understood what she meant.
"The nightmares?" Karina remembered the hand motion Winter had used for a long time to describe the 'bad things'. Winter nodded softly.
"I am scared," Winter shook her head and drew in a deep breath. "I am scared he will take you away."
"Who?" Karina grew worried and ran her hands up and down Winter's arms.
"Danny," Winter whispered quietly and closed her eyes. Karina took a deep breath and cupped Winter's cheek in her hand.
"Jeong, he's gone," she shook her head. "He's not going to hurt me. He's not going to hurt you. We're safe." Winter's breath was shaky, and she took a long, deep breath.
"I can not lose the pretty things," Winter whispered, reaching out and taking the flower from Karina's hand. The small girl studied the flower for a few moments before clutching it close to her chest. "I-I killed it."
That was the last straw for Karina. She shook her head, grabbing Winter's hand and pulling her across the hallway into their bedroom. Winter watched anxiously as Karina dug around in her closet and pulled out a suitcase, tossing it on the bed and throwing it open.
The brown eyed girl walked over to the dresser, opening each drawer and grabbing a handful of each. The small girl's eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. Tears stung in her eyes as she backed up.
"No," Winter shook her head and held her hands up. The tears quickly blinded her as she backed into the wall, bringing her hands up to her face. "Please, no."
Karina was brought out of her trance when she heard a small sob escape her girlfriend's lips. She whipped her head up and felt her heart drop in her chest when she saw Winter slide down against the wall and bury her head in her knees.
"Please do not," Winter whispered. "I will be good. I p-pr-promise," she whimpered. Karina quickly knelt beside her and tilted her head to the side.
"What are you talking about?" Karina asked softly, reaching out and putting a hand on the smaller girl's knee. Winter flinched and looked up. "Winter, I don't understand."
"Please do not make me leave," Winter sniffed. Karina's breath caught in her throat and she glanced back and forth from Winter to the suitcase on the bed.
"No," Karina quickly shook her head. "No, no, no, Jeong," she reached out and tilted Winter's chin up, and met her eyes. "I am not making you leave. I promise." she reached down and locked pinky's with the small girl.
"But... but why?" Winter pointed to the suitcase on the bed. Karina shook her head and squeezed Winter's hand.
"We're going on a vacation," Karina stood up slowly and helped Winter up to her feet. "This medication isn't helping. So we're going to try something different... is that okay?"
"Vacation?" Winter asked softly, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath to calm herself down. Karina nodded, leading Winter over to the bed and motioning for her to sit down.
"We're gonna go visit my family," she explained. This was an idea that Karina had in the back of her mind for a while. It had only taken this situation to make her realize what she had to do.
"Seoul?" Winter remembered. "With Chae?" Karina nodded, moving back over to the dresser and resumed packing.
"Just think of this as a... a different type of medication," Karina said, folding a pair of pants and laying them in the suitcase. "Is that okay?"
"Mhm," Winter nodded. She reached up and fixed her beanie, smiling at Karina softly.
"Can you finish packing while I go call your doctor?" Karina asked, pointing to the suitcase and then nodding towards the dresser. Winter stood up and studied Karina for a moment.
"Yes," she nodded softly, taking Karina's hand and kissing the back of her palm. "I love you. Thank you for being here."
"I'm always gonna be here," Karina promised, reaching up and smoothing out Winter's hair. "I love you too."
Karina headed downstairs, breathing a sigh of relief. She knew the worst was yet to come, but she was somewhat relieved that she had a backup plan. Plopping down on the couch, she pulled out her phone and dialed the doctor.
After cancelling Winter's prescription and paying way too much for a pair of plane tickets, Karina took a deep breath and let her phone fall to her side. She gave herself a few minutes to compose herself, but it was cut short when the front door opened and her three other roommates arrived. They immediately knew something was up.
"This medication is bullshit," Karina mumbled, standing up and shaking her head. "I'm taking Winter to Seoul."
"Wait, what?" Ningning laughed in disbelief, raising an eyebrow.
"We're going to Seoul," Karina reaffirmed. "I'm tired of trying to beat around the bush. We're facing her past head on and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
All three roommates exchanged glances. Giselle was the first to break the silence.
"If that's what you think is best," the Japanese girl shrugged. Karina was surprised they didn't tell her that she was insane. Her roommates knew what needed to be done.
"I brought Chinese," Giselle spoke up, holding up a brown paper bag before bringing it into the kitchen. Yeji followed her, leaving only Ningning and Karina.
"It'll all work out, y'know," Ningning said softly, walking over and pulling Karina into a hug. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to her."
Karina nodded softly when the hug pulled away. Before they could say anything else, a pair of soft footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.
"I finished, Ji," Winter said softly, walking over to Karina and leaning into her side. "It is all neat."
"Perfect," Karina smiled, kissing Winter's cheek and glancing back up at Ningning. "We're leaving in a few hours. Let's have some dinner."
Shortly afterwards, all 5 roommates sat on the floor in the living room. The TV was off for once. They wanted to savor their last night together for a week.
"Giselle," Winter spoke up, setting her fork down. "You have to play with Clifford a lot. Or else he will get sad and lonely."
"I know, Bunny," Giselle nodded, not looking up from her plate. Winter furrowed her eyebrows.
"His favorite toy is the jingly mouse," Winter continued. "And you have to make sure his bed is nice and neat, or he will sleep on the floor. And the floor is cold, and I do not think he wants to be cold."
"I kn-,"
"Oh, and you have to make sure he eats his food," Winter nodded quickly. "Sometimes he thinks it is a toy and makes a big mess. But if he does that, he will be hungry."
"I think she's got the hang of it, Jeong," Karina laughed, giving her girlfriend a soft smile. "You can call her and see Clifford whenever you want."
"Okay," Winter glanced back at Giselle. "I am trusting you."
"I've got this, Bunny," Giselle laughed, holding out her fist. Winter giggled, bumping their fists together and making her signature exploding noise. There was a mixture of excitement and uncertainty in Winter's stomach. But she trusted Karina knew what she was doing.
Once they finished dinner, Karina brought their bags downstairs and glanced around the apartment one last time. Winter was on the couch, cradling Clifford in her arms and giving him a long speech, promising that she would be back in a few days.
"Y'ready, Jeongie?" Karina asked, leaning against the door and smiling softly at her girlfriend. Winter and Clifford were the cutest combination.
"Yes," Winter nodded, looking down at Clifford and kissing him softly. "Take care of Giselle, Clifford," she giggled before setting the kitten down on the couch and padding over to Karina.
They had already said their goodbyes to the other girls, who had just left for a party. Winter tugged on her converse, looking up at Karina and holding out her shoelaces. With a soft laugh, Karina bent down and helped the small girl tie her shoes.
"All set," Karina nodded, extending a hand to help Winter up to her feet. "Here's to a whole new adventure," she wrapped an arm around Winter's waist and pulled her closer, kissing her cheek. After giving the apartment one last look, the two girls made their way out into the hallway.
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