"Where are we?" I asked with my eyes closed tightly. As soon as he took off and I felt his feet leave the ground, my eyes were shut. I only inquired him now because the wind stopped messing with my hair and I felt my weight back on the Earth.
"Open your eyes and find out," his voice whispered by my ear. I breath was caught in my throat—the first for a long time. I opened my eyes and saw that we were at Central Park.
"It's closed," I stated.
"Not for me," he informed with a slight laugh. "The city owes me a few favors."
"And what's the occasion for tonight?" I asked, unimpressed even though I loved just standing here in the dark with slight sounds of animals stirring in the night.
"Their beloved superhero's date with the only girl he thinks about," he whispered. That's it.
"Look. No matter how you feel about me or me to you, it won't really matter because—"
"'Won't'," he repeated. I should've used the word "doesn't" instead. Too late. "As in future tense. I'm not talking about the future right now. I'm talking about here and now. This matters here and now."
"Well here and now I'm supposed to be at home asleep for school tomorrow, not flying around with you," I retorted. Although I had strong feelings from Proliator, I couldn't play games with him any longer. He stepped near me and attempted to reach out and touch my waist. Part of me even wanted him to, but...
"Yet you haven't asked to go home," he said, his breath hitting my face.
"Yet," I assured.
"Yet," he echoed. My heart was beating loudly and I was sure that he heard. I wanted to reach up and reveal who he was this entire time. Instead of stopping me as my hand wanted to grab his hood, he just grabbed my arm. "Before you get curious, I rather continue with our date so then maybe you won't completely assume the worst."
"The worst" at this point was the possibility of him saying this was a dream. I just wanted to know who he was before I could even jump at the chance of loathing him.
"Why do you even want this date?" I asked him. "The first time I met you I didn't even believe in you. I still can't find a way to believe in you. So why is it so important—"
He pressed his lips to my cheek and kept them there.
Then, everything was erased from my mind.
With a wave—no, tsunami of emotions, I felt nothing but attraction and frustration and love and confidence and knowledge. I felt like at any moment I could take off the ground and fly anywhere I wanted with anyone I chose to do anything I pleased. I felt happy and loved and the biggest rush ever, even though I was just standing there with a par of soft lips pressed to my cheek. When Proliator pulled away, my eyes were glazed with a new light that did not fade.
I was breathing heavily and a smile plastered my face.
"Now that you feel how I feel about you every waking moment, let's have some fun," he smiled and then laced our fingers that held a touch between us that couldn't even compare to the adoration that I was already feeling.
***
"Be absolutely still..." Proliator whispered in my ear. I was pressed against him now. His right arm was coiled around my waist and his left hand was attached to mine, hovering away from our bodies as he started to unlock our fingers.
"Grrrr..." That was all I needed before I turned to bolt out of here. Only, he tightened his grip on my waist and pecked my cheek, sending me waves of assurance.
"You're okay. Just stay still, alright?" he whispered, calming me down. He started to slightly release me, the extra pair of eyes glaring at me. The prowling lion continued to take threatening steps toward us, but now Proliator was no longer touching any part of me while he lured the lion toward him. The feline tore his glowing eyes away from me and approached Proliator. Immediately, he trotted over to him and Proliator crouched down to embrace the lion as if he was a common house cat. I let go of my held breath and saw a cloud of warmth in the cool air.
"How did you do that?" I asked him. He turned a dangerous, wild carnivore into a sensitive cat, purring as he got familiar with him.
"A long time ago, someone told me that no matter the situation, you can manipulate it however you please just by believing you can," he said, petting the lion. With one hand on the lion, his other motioned me to come over. Slowly, I obeyed and almost petted his wild and fuzzy mane. That was, until the lion's muzzle snapped over to me and showed its sharp teeth. "Hey! Hey. Stop that."
The lion whimpered, obeying Proliator as if majored in human language.
"Come here," Proliator told me and then took my hand to pull it down. I was now touching the mane of the lion and instead of getting my hand ripped off, I felt the lion purr beneath me. He even moved away from Proliator and laid down beneath me. I let out my breath and laughed at this. I was touching a lion!
Proliator sat down on the ground beside me and I was just busy enjoying my time with this lion as Proliator caressed its hind leg. As relaxed as I wanted him to be, part of me figured that if the lion aggressed towards me, Proliator's grip would tighten enough to yank the animal away from me.
"He's my favorite," he whispered. "A long time ago, people called me a lion because we were so much alike."
"King of the savannah?" I assumed, caressing the lion's muzzle that rested in my lap.
"Not that," he breathed in a laugh. "Lions are strong and tough and fast...but deep down they're like every other house cat...just wanting someone and kind...on contrary to what everyone thinks."
I looked over to Proliator now and saw his head bowed down.
"Why are you lying?" I asked him, only to make him slightly look up at me...well as much as he could without revealing himself, but by now I knew that he had a mask on that covered over his eyes. With the dim light, I could still see his lip twitch, already trying to figure out a way to deny my accusation. "We both know you love lions because of Larry."
"Larry...?" he asked confused. It took him a moment and then he smiled such a bright smile that it traveled to my own face. "Very funny."
He reached out for me and the lion growled at him. I ran a hand down his back, attempting to soothe him into calmness, but it didn't work. It actually didn't result in my favor at all because he spun around and faced me. The same spark of hatred before arose and then I feared for my life. Proliator reached out to touch the lion—probably to use his powers—but the lion jumped away from him and bared his teeth. He turned back to me, already leaning back to his hind quarters to empower his lunge to me. A growl ripped through him and then when I would feel him pounce on me, I felt a warm body on mine. I opened the eyes that I had shut and looked over to see the lion devouring a huge piece of meat. Not only that, but Proliator was on top of me, his body completely pressed against mine as I was laying on the ground.
"I..." he whispered inches from my face. With the feelings in my body, I wanted to just kiss him here and now and forget about the lion tearing up a carcass less than twenty feet away. But, of course he rolled off of me and offered me a hand up. "I guess now it's time to go."
"Sure," I mumbled even though I could stay there, being squished by a superhero for forever than leave the moment behind.
***
"Thank you," I whispered to Proliator. There were numerous frozen lakes and outdoor skating rinks in New York, but the one we were at was lit with golden lights and we sat in the gazebo. I was cradled into his side like the many nights I dreamt of being with him. His arm was wrapped around me and he played with my curled hair as I just closed my eyes and relaxed. This was my favorite night. This was my favorite moment. Nothing could compete with this.
"For what?" he whispered.
"Tonight. Everything," I answered. I took a deep breath, still not used to the way I reacted to touching him or making small circles on his rock-hard stomach, dragging the fabric of his hoodie with it. "This is the first time I've seen you wear normal clothes."
"You haven't even seen me," he whispered. I lightly opened my eyes and looked up at his shaded, marked face.
"Well whose fault is that?" I asked.
"I've been trying to figure that out," he replied with a sigh. What was that supposed to mean? "I've been a superhero here for a while, but anytime I'm around you...I feel as if I'm normal again."
"What was 'normal'?" I asked him curiously. This wasn't the crime-fighting Proliator that I was used to. This was a normal boy that I enjoyed to spend my time with. The fact that he was quick enough to catch me when I fall or send shocks through my body was just a bonus.
"I lived in a nice big house in California with my family...my dad was retired from the military, was a rocket scientist for NASA before becoming a stuntman, of all things, and my mom was an actress. They were always there for us kids for every game or award ceremony...I had an older brother and then a younger brother and sister. Everything was perfectly fine. I was in every sport and I was on the top of my class even in middle school. I was popular. Nothing was wrong at all," he smiled. "And then it changed when I got home one day from soccer practice with my little brother. My best friend had been walking home with us since he lived next door, but I forgot my key. When I rounded the house to grab the spare key on the back of one of the window's shutters, I looked through the window and saw my mother on the ground, my older brother cowering against the corner and my dad facing some guy in a suit.
My dad offered a hand to him and said something, but then I saw the gun in the stranger's hand. He and my father circled around each other, and as soon as he was close to my mother, he protected her body with his. That action alone was longer than the time it took for guy to snap out of his paralyzed-state and shoot my dad in the back. As soon as he did that, I froze. I didn't know what to do. This man...shot my father and probably my mother and for what? The only person that knew what to do was my older brother because he was inside--I don't know how he didn't freeze. I heard him growl through the window before tackling the guy to the ground and they fought for a bit. By then I saw my little brother and best friend barge through the door and then the stranger dropped dead to the ground."
"What happened after?" I asked in a broken voice.
"We just sort of...lived through it...or whatever it amounted to," he answered, unsure. "My older brother worked through it, my younger brother just went back to normal like it never happened, my sister was too young to really remember and then I was in such a low state that I honestly wanted to die. I kept feeling a mix of emotions and one day they all just boiled over. That's when I got my powers..." I wondered how many people knew this. But right after that thought, I realized that it didn't matter. He was trusting me to confide in now.
"My best friend's parents were colleagues with my dad and were lifelong friends. They knew all about me. They knew all about everyone in my family. So them and my best friend helped me through it and helped train me once the powers kicked in. Then my brother decided that we needed a new start all because he was too stubborn and selfish to work things out there, but it was for the better because we weren't good with controlling ourselves and people were starting to get the hints."
"So you came here," I assumed.
"Miami actually. You'd think the city would be full of enough freaks and outcasts to cover up our secrets," he answered. "Nope...someone followed us there and my brother took care of him and his family, except for their son. I couldn't let him kill him. I felt every emotion he did and with a single touch to him, I felt the his terror, calmed him down, and left him. Only, it was too late. I don't know if it was the traua or what but I started a friendship with him and then a few weeks later it was me, my Californian best friend, and my new friend arriving on a farm somewhere in—"
"Frankford, Kentucky," I finished and he nodded patiently even though I probably would've told me to shut up.
"My friends were fighting over me all while my brother was fighting me for even bringing this many people into the situation. We got to the farm and I was done," he told. "So were my friends. He just...stormed off, not caring where he was, but my oldest friend was talking to Sebastian, trying to figure out where we were and all that. I was just on the ground in physical and emotional pain. Kenneth tried to reach out to me, but uncontrollably, I sent all my feelings into him and he blacked out. Of course I couldn't risk someone knowing my powers so I got him to forget me, but then that's when the barn caught on fire and you know the rest...
That was the end of my 'normal' life," he concluded. "When I helped your brother save those people, I knew that I would put my powers to good use, unlike my brother. So then when my friends and I got back to Miami, I changed my appearance and moved here. I needed to catch one bad guy and from then on, I made the Proliator."
"So you're telling me you weren't naturally attractive?" I humored to lighten the mood. He even laughed breathy. "With your English charm, movie star bod, and beautiful eyes? There was none of that?"
"I tell you something that I've never told anyone in my life and you're concerned with how I was before?" he asked. I looked up to him.
"Well as I see it, you must still that person right now as you've ever been..." I admitted. "Without the mask. Without the urge to fight or protect anyone...I just want to know who you were to figure out who you are now."
He nodded once.
"Well, I'll have you know that I was attractive before all of this," he flirted.
"Oh really?" I asked, shifted positions to sit up.
"Yes really," he smiled, laughing along with me now. Then I calmed down.
"What color were your eyes?" I asked him quietly.
"Green," he answered sadly. He looked away from me as he threw an arm over my shoulders. He sighed and I felt his sadness—without his powers at all. "And I'd do anything to see that color in them again."
"What do you mean? Your eyes change all the time," I reminded with confusion.
"You would know," he snickered. "They used to look like my mom's eyes. I haven't seen them green since I got my powers, really. But I've gotten used to it, I guess. It's just another sacrifice I had to make."
"You didn't have to make it though. It's not like you had a choice," I told him. I wonder what else he sacrificed in his life. "What else changed?"
"Before I moved here I dyed my hair," he admitted. I laughed at that.
"What color is it?" I asked him, trying to fit another characteristic in my mind of him.
"It's supposed to be a dark blonde, but I've dyed and kept it to as dark as possible," he answered. I smiled and tried to picture him in my mind. Nope. That stupid mask was still in the way. "But all the other changes just happened and fell into or out of place."
"What do you mean?" I asked him. He stood up and leaned on the wooden railing. I stood up as well, but just stayed beside him, watching his moves.
"Well my oldest friend still lives here, but he hates me because I sort of replaced him with the dead government agent's son...I had no control over his actions so I keep trying to tell myself to get over it. At the beginning of this year I chose to give up sports because everyone was starting to drug test me all because I could lift more than this person or run faster and longer than this other person. I didn't think about people catching on again. I had to exclude myself from everyone and everything I cared about because that's all that could be done...and then you came along."
"I'm sorry—"
"Don't be," he smiled. "You changed everything for me...I had to adjust and figure out what's really important to me because of you."
"Then why are you moving again?" I suddenly asked him. He sighed, stressfully. "You tell me all of this and get me feeling like I'm on cloud nine on every occurrence, so then why are you leaving me--leaving everything you've protected here...?"
"Because you remind me of my mother," he said. And? Was that a bad thing? "She was my dad's weakness. My brother had the power to read minds and he gained that power early on, so he knew everything about our powers that could possibly be passed down. My father could control peoples' minds and basically had Superman level physiology, but at the slight touch from my mother, he was as weak as anyone else."
"Offense not taken," I mumbled. He titled his head and I knew from under his hood he was giving me the look.
"Well you're just like that, only...you reverse my powers," he informed.
"What?" Now, he faced me and cupped my face with his hand. I felt electricity just like every time before, as he ran his thumb across my cheek. I slightly closed my eyes and let the sensations search my body, even though I should be used to it by now with all the contact we've had today.
"You're the only person on this planet whose emotions I can't feel," he addressed.
"Then why can I feel that?"
"Because I can't feel your emotions like the others," he said. "When I experience someone's emotion on first touch, it literally shocks through me. How we feel at our touches is how it is for a mixture of emotions, but the feeling lasts. Of course, I have no idea why, but my powers don't work with you."
"What do you mean?"
"My powers don't work with you," he breathed. "I don't lose all strength or speed or mental ability like my dad, but I can't feel any emotion from you from a distance and I can't heal you by touch. Unless..."
"Unless what?" I asked, sort of perplexed at this. I remembered that he couldn't heal me with the frat boys, but he had healed me with RJ.
He wrapped his arm around my waist with his free arm. "This entire day, you've forgotten about your life and reacted to me as if you could stand to be around me—"
"I can stand to be around you—"
"All because my powers only really work when I kiss you," he answered with a raised voice. What? I paused. "Don't think I hadn't noticed. Normally, I can feel everyone's emotions without even having to make contact with them. I only need to touch them to transfer the feelings or heal them, but with you? Not a chance. I have to touch you to just feel your emotions—and direct skin-to-skin; I have to kiss your cheek or hand or something just to heal you both physically and emotionally. But there's no way for me to know why that happens or why I can't transfer anything into you—not that I wanted to—"
"I feel your emotions," I interrupted.
"What?" he frowned.
"Every time you kiss me, I feel your emotions," I muttered. "It's always been like that for me..."
"I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Why?" I asked. That's when he stepped away from me.
"That's exactly why I have to move away from here," he said. "I—I can't drag you into all of this. You don't know how many peoples' emotions just stay in my system and transfer over to you. Not to mention you can get hurt by just that or forget about life or—"
"I'm still here!" I yelled at him, only to make him stop listing my possible dangers. "I'm here. With you. Just like you're here with me. Everything you've transferred has been mutual, alright? I don't care if it's your emotions or someone else's."
"But...but...how is that even possible?" he asked, running a hand down his face. "I don't have any emotions alright? The only ones I've had were all emptied into Mickie at the first chance—"
"Mickie?" I asked, feeling my blood boil. He punched a wooden column and then I saw the wood crack. He was angry with himself. "What exactly have you done with Mickie?"
What if everything he just said was a lie and he had the same affect on her?
"She's just...a confidant. I release any excess emotions in her and that's it alright?" he told me. He looked to my face and paused. I was pissed. "Are you jealous?"
"No!" Why would I be jealous of some girl that probably made out with my—
"You shouldn't be jealous over anyone," he teased. "I'm yours, alright?"
"So you're saying you're not jealous of Hayden?"
"No," he said. "Hayden should know where we stand."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"Well Chad was supposed to take you to his house when Hayden didn't show up to the party, but considering that was four hours ago, I'm sure he's freaking out," he smirked. "Speaking of which, I have to get you home. You have school tomorrow."
"You should know that it's senior ditch day."
"I also know that you're not a senior," he chimed, pulling me close to him.
"But my senior boyfriend will surely take me out tomorrow anyways," I sang.
"Yeah right. Over my dead body," he hissed. I winced. "He's a bad influence on you."
"Because we break into animals cages after closing and hang out at closed ice rinks," I scoffed. We shared the laugh and I had grown used to his laugh. I saw the lights bounce off of his smile, but I wish I knew who it belonged to. Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me away so we could go home. Only, when we got to the ice surrounding us, my footing slipped and he caught me around the waist, his face hovering inches from mine.
"Do you just attract danger?"
"No. I just attract you," I replied in a whisper.
"Ain't that the truth," he said before pulling me up. We carefully walked over to the sidewalk and then I stopped. He turned back to me. "What's wrong?"
"Please don't tell me we're flying back home," I wished.
"Don't worry. We're not," he laughed. He suddenly whistled loudly and a motorcycle appeared. A sleek black and gold ninja. One of many that he's been seen on. He handed me a helmet and I noticed that was the only one.
"You wear it," I said. He scoffed. "I'm sure the city would worry about your brains on the ground, not mine."
"I don't know whether I should be shocked that you still don't understand that I'm indestructible or offended that you think my driving is that terrible to end up crashing," he replied.
"Whatever," I laughed, grabbing the helmet. As soon as it was on my head, there was a laser grid that analyzed every centimeter of my visual field.
"Welcome Angela Victoria Warden," I heard an electronic voice address.
"Uh..."
"JC, she's just visiting," Proliator assured, climbing onto the motorcycle.
"Sir, what is wrong with your voice?" JC asked. "I presume you have not informed Miss Warden of your alter ego."
"Right as always, JC," Proliator responded with a chuckle. He turned back and looked to me. "Aren't you coming?"
"Of course," I mumbled and then I climbed onto the motorcycle and grabbed his shoulders. He scoffed pathetically before taking my hands and wrapping them around his waist. He wrapped his hands around each handle and then the engine whined. We drove off, letting the wind whip through my clothing and I clutched Proliator for warmth and stability. Then we reached the unused dark alley by my house building that was normally used for the adjacent storage factory trucks.
"Sir, are you alright?" JC asked him when he started to slow down. I could've asked him that myself with the silence on the ride here.
"Perfectly fine," he answered, but I sensed an ounce of feign.
"Your health data seems to be varying, specifically in your—"
"Ahem!" Proliator interrupted. JC chirped to a stop. "My health is not a concern right now."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who says your health isn't a concern here?" I asked him, full of nothing but worry. How could he say his health wasn't important as if I wasn't here caring for him!
"Don't worry about it. JC just needs to be tuned," Proliator hissed back to me.
"Sir, we both know that my functions are well in tune and do not need—"
"Shut up, JC."
"Don't tell her to shut up," I snapped at him as he parked the bike by my garage's back alley. Luckily, our garage was the only one on that side and my window was the only one directly facing it.
"Her?" he mocked. "JC is a computer. She was made to obey orders. She has no emotions on the matter so you don't have to try and defend—"
"Then let me make my emotions clear to you," I interrupted and lifted his hoodie just enough to press my hand to his torso, only, I made contact with an Ace bandage. At this touch, he sighed, knowing that he was in trouble. He was injured. I dismounted his bike and looked at him, taking off the computerized helmet. "Okay, what's going on?"
"I can't tell you," he sighed, stressfully. I laughed pathetically.
"Are we really back to that?" I asked him, lightly crossing my arms. "Back to keeping more secrets?"
He looked away from me and I knew his answer.
"Have I not been there for you this entire time? Huh? What is there that you can't tell me, Proliator—"
He laughed at me. He was laughing at me and instead of feeling the charm from his smile, it felt like a slap in the face.
"Do you hear yourself? 'What is there that you can't tell me, Proliator?'" he quoted within his laugh. "You don't even know my name!"
"Well that's not my fault, now is it?" I said to him. We were really back to this?
"Does it really matter? If I can't even tell you my name when I want to, how do you expect me to tell you what my problem is?" he raised his voice at me.
"Because it was you twenty minutes ago that was pouring your heart out to me!" I answered. "And maybe, just maybe you were touching my heart in the process, but no! You're gonna be like every other jerk out there and cover up your real self—as if I need any more of that—and leave me clueless."
He only took one step near me and couldn't form words to say anything else. I was already fired up.
"I'm sick and tired of guys like you. Innocent ones like Kenneth who court me for a long time and then amount to nothing. Confident ones like Hayden who take no time at all to get me and it still amounts to nothing. And especially arrogant ones like you and Dastan who have a need to do as you please without any real concern for anyone else's feelings, leaving no one with an ounce of sanity!" I continued. However the case, I was waiting for him to choose one of those guys to retaliate like. Kenneth would quickly appease me. Hayden would convince me to get over it. Dastan would fight me. At this point, I'd want him to be like Dastan because I was heated enough to argue. That never even happened unless I was around Dastan—giving me reason to believe it was him beneath that mask. I wish I could say I couldn't imagine Dastan treating me like the Proliator had tonight, but I couldn't deny that he had..in the very same venue too. "Why aren't you fighting me back? Fight me back!"
He just shook his head and produced his appropriate: "I can't."
"Don't just stand there and look at me!" I cried out. Suddenly, he took one large step over to me and his fingers traced my face.
"This is why I can't have relationships," he whispered. I blinked and felt a tear drop, but then I felt his finger catch it and wipe it away with the others.
"Because you can't let people in?" I accused, spitefully.
"Because you'll never know how much worse I feel than you right now," I countered with his eyes closed and his forehead leaning on mine.
Unless you kiss me.
I stepped away from him, knowing it was time for me to go. I couldn't keep having these empty romantic thoughts about Proliator. He said it himself: he can't have a relationship, so why was I still here?
I pulled away from him completely. However, I had no idea why because he just appeared in front of me. My gaze avoided his so I wouldn't snap at him again, but he stole a kiss on my forehead and I understood it all.
My heart ached at the touch and it was an intense pain that coursed through my body. I felt like nothing was important and there was no hope for resolution.
"That's a fraction of how it feels right now," he said to me. I looked at his face as he now only wore his normal Proliator mask and his hood was down. He looked like he was breaking down. His eyes were clouded with a deep brown that ached for happiness. "Every time I wipe away your tears, that's how it feels; like each tear is a bead of poison to me. If I actually let you feel my returning feelings about that, you wouldn't be standing here right now."
"Then how do you deal with it?"
"By trying to find any escape from it, even if that escape leaves me in the hospital," he answered honestly.
"Sir, I must alarm you that—"
"Not now, JC," he growled.
"Go," I told him. Removing his hands from me. "Leave me alone like you have been since I left for Frankford. Go move to wherever you're going next to change your appearance. I'm fine here with Hayden. Just...go save the day and leave me alone."
Of course I didn't mean that. I didn't want him to start over a new life and potentially find someone else like me. I knew I wasn't fine with Hayden. But what else could I do to save myself from this heart break that I felt from his stupid kiss? I should've told him how long it lasted...but what would that matter now? He was urged by JC once more before hopping on his motorcycle and zooming off.
I entered my building through the front door, not opting to climb the tree into my window. I planned to crash on the couch, but then found Jem passed out with the TV still on. I turned off the TV and picked him up in order to rest him in his bed. As I did that, I looked around to see his boxes still unpacked. I sighed at his hopes of going home. I looked over and saw a familiar Central Park Zoo gift shop bag on a box and then decided to question what Dastan had bought him, because I clearly did not get him anything.
I pulled whatever softness out of the bag and revealed a familiar looking lion. He was identical to Larry aside from the Proliator costume Larry proudly wore on my gift! I wanted to smile at that, but I couldn't because of what happened between me and the Proliator...It was hard not to remember something similar happening between me and Dastan.
Both of them couldn't be in a relationship. Both of them had changing eyes. Both of them knew Mickie. Both of them weren't from around here. Both of them had family at my school. Both of them were leaving. Both of them made me feel different. Even the ends of Dastan's hair lightened to make the Proliator's story of multiple hair dyes seem plausible. It made sense.
Dastan was my Proliator.