Clarissa's P.O.V.
Harry had a lot of tattoos. And by a lot I mean over twenty. I ran my finger down his arm, my eyes scanning every one of them. He shivered at my touch. I don't see why, I'm just a person. Now, he's a huge star that everyone loves to death and would kill just to see him and I'm just a person. Why was he so nervous around me?
I remembered when I got my bird tattoo on my back. Max took me, only because he and Robbie had a bit of a falling out the day before and just liked to disobey him when things like that happened. I wanted this tattoo for the longest time, but getting it was one of the most painful things I've ever done, and it wasn't all because of needle. I remember Max telling the guy who was giving it to me, a real monster of a man, that, "if you touch her anywhere else besides her back I will shove that needle down your throat." He laughed afterwards, but the tattooer didn't realize that he was serious. I remember sitting there, grimacing, while Max taunted me, "Are you gonna cry? Huh? Are you gonna cry?" while poking me in the ribs and smirking.
Max had about eight tattoos and sat there with a straight face through each one. But I didn't cry, so pain tolerance must be running through the family.
Robbie had a fit, Jonah was disappointed, and Lucas didn't really care. Robbie and Max have never gotten along well, Max being the youngest brother and Robbie being the oldest. I got along well with everyone, really, except maybe Robbie. We fight a lot, but still love each other equally.
"What are you thinking about?"
I blinked, Harry's voice slicing through my thoughts. I shrugged. "I don't know. You have a lot of tattoos."
He blinked back at me and smiled a little bit. "Do you have any?"
I nodded, his smile growing bigger. "Can I see?"
I felt my cheeks flush as I pulled off my hoodie, thankful I wore a white camisole underneath. I turned around on the couch, blushing harder when he tugged the cami strap off. It was a tattoo of four or five silhouettes of flying birds, all flying towards my right shoulder, right on the blade. He traced each of them with his finger, this time making me shiver. I clutched my hoodie and turned back around to face him, pulling up the strap and throwing my hoodie back on.
"It's brilliant," he whispered, small quirk on his mouth. I was just about to say thank you when Abby came in and announced, "I'd hate to interrupt your bonding time, but Harry, don't you and the boys have an interview in a half hour?"
Harry glanced at the clock on the wall, jumping up from the couch. "Ah, yeah, I do. Thank you."
He burst out of the door, leaving me smitten on the sofa. Abby looked at me, eyes widening. "Do you like him?"
I'm guessing she didn't see me kiss him. It was kind of an impulse, but I have to admit that I enjoyed it. I rested my chin in my hands. "I don't know," I whispered.
----
"They're on."
My eyes jerked up from the book I was reading [ again, rare, I am not one to read. I was bored and confused ].
"Well, turn it on! Turn it on!"
Abby took a seat next to me, her eyes sparkling. "Does it feel good to be a Directioner?"
I rolled my eyes but, yeah, it felt good. I was the only Directioner who an actual member from One Direction actually had feelings for, so that was special.
I didn't recognize the interviewer or the show, but I certainly recognized who was being interviewed. Something stabbed through my heart when I saw Louis. He didn't look the same, and it wasn't just the bruise on his face.
For a long time it was just them thanking the fans, mostly Liam and Zayn.
"This whole tour has just been completely mental," Zayn went on, the interviewer's attention entirely captivated by every word. What a load.
I kind of tuned out. It was the same thing over and over again. Until..
"So, Louis, there are rumors going around that you're seeing another women. Are these true?"
Pictures of us from last night popped up on the screen. My face went red. Louis' face went red.
"Uhm.." Louis began, but Niall interrupted, "She's just a friend of ours."
I squinted. I barely knew the other boys. Well, after our little dart gun fight, Niall and I kind of became friends, but I mean, I hardly knew Zayn and Liam. Of course Abby knows everything from their birthdays to what they wore on their 7th birthdays, probably even more.
The interviewer smirked, like she didn't believe it. I wanted to give her a nice little scar on the side of her mouth.
I didn't even notice Harry until she called him out. He was beet red.
"Harry, do you have something for her?"
She laughed and so did he, but weakly. Abby gasped, "Clarissa, you're hyperventilating!"
I didn't notice that, either, until she pointed it out. I tried to calm myself down, but it didn't exactly work because the stupid ladykept going.
"What's her name? Was she the same girl you brought up on stage? Louis, why do you have a bruise on your face?"
"Her name is.. Clarissa," Zayn answered, probably knowing that Louis and Harry wouldn't be able to.
"Yeah, same girl," Liam finished. They didn't answer the question about the bruise, I noticed.
Good.
Thankfully they moved onto another topic. I exhaled loudly and laid my head against the couch while Abby clicked off the TV. I had a feeling this was going to bite me back in the butt soon.
"So, what now?"
My brown eyes flickered to Abby. "All I know is that I'm screwed."
----
Harry's P.O.V.
"Hey, are you okay, Haz?"
I flashed Niall a quick smile. "I should be."
"That interviewer was quite.. irritating.." Zayn muttered, kicking up his feet on the back of Liam's seat in front of him.
"Aren't they all?"
Liam and Louis were silent. Not all interviewers are irritating. A lot of them are fun. But this one certainly was not. In fact, I didn't even bother catching her name.
There was a long silence.
"And you, Lou? Are you okay?" Niall asked quietly, shifting in his seat.
Louis nodded 'yes' but didn't say a word.
----
Jonah's P.O.V.
For a moment I was excited that someone from the Coligan family was mention on TV, but then I remembered why and I instantly hated myself.
I didn't sleep at all last night. Not a wink. Insomnia clouded my existence, forcing me to repeat the same questions over and over again in my head. How could I agree with Robbie on this? How could I let my own sister sneak out on us without me ever knowing until the next day? How could this happen? How could I let this happen?
Robbie and I hardly talked. I went out searching all over the city for her, only to come back empty handed. I called her dozens of time and left dozens of messages. I couldn't call the police. They would link her to the shooting. I don't think that she knows that I know that she gambles, but, well I do. And for Clarissa to not respond to me, well.. we really did it this time..
----
Clarissa's P.O.V.
Dad was still on business. He texted me two days ago saying that it was extended for another week or two because of persuasive issues with another company. Sometimes I forgot I had a dad. Now I forgot I had a phone. I couldn't find it anywhere, so there was that added with the stress of this whole scandal fling that has been going on.
"Claire, is there any way I could help you?"
I don't know why, but anger overtook me. Maybe it was because I was fed up with One Direction, fed up with myself, fed up with just everything.
"No, Abby, there is absolutely nothing you could do. No one understands. I'm completely and utterly alone and I just don't know what to do about it, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? No one would."
"You think you're the only one that has lost somebody, Claire?"
I knew she was referring to Jared and not Louis. I thought I was over him, but I guess not.
"Well, you aren't. Get over yourself and come here."
I obeyed. Normally I would be on the brink of tears but I felt nothing. I walked over to her, right beside the computer. She went into YouTube and typed in "Moments" and hit play.
To be honest, I tuned out for the first part. I didn't want to listen to some sappy song. I glanced back at the screen though, this time noticing who it was by.
"If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I’ll be
Your life, your voice
Your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I’ll find the words to say
Before you leave me today."
I gripped the edge of the desk, my face turning white.
"Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face.."
I whipped around and slammed my fists into the wall, unable to control myself. Sobs started to rack my body. I was shaking so badly and I didn't know how to stop. I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know how to live at this point.
"Turn it off!" I screamed, whirling around to face Abby. Her face was pure shock and fear, rapidly clicking the 'x' button at the top of the screen.
"Claire, I'm sor-"
She didn't get a chance to finish before I stormed out of the hotel and ran into the crowd on the streets. I pushed through everyone, full out running. Where was I going? I have no idea. But it felt good to run. Thoughts, memories, fears fluttered through my mind all at once. For a moment I literally thought I was actual mental institution material. Then I couldn't think at all.
The crowd seemed to die down a little so there was less people to push through. I slowed to a jog, simply exhausted from almost nothing. I felt my bottom lip quiver while I turned down to a small street that let to Central Park, causing me to slow to a stop. I fell to my knees and shoved my face into my thighs, my hands squeezing the sides of my head to try and muffle the killer headache that was building inside. For a while I only heard my heart and my head pounding, feeling my pulse everywhere I had one. The only other thing I heard was some kind of vehicle screeching to a stop.
I felt like jumping out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to side, though the figure was blurry since tears were clouding my vision. I wiped my hand across my face to reveal that it was Louis. He had a weak grin on his face, and I could tell her was struggling to keep from crying himself.
Then, quietly, he started to sing.
"I've tried playing it cool
But when I'm looking at you
I can’t ever be brave
'Cause you make my heart race."
I squinted at him, the tears started to decrease. Just seeing him made me have hope for a better future, but I couldn't tell what song he was singing. It didn't sound like anything I would listen to.
"Shot me out of the sky
You're my kryptonite
You keep making me weak
Yeah, frozen and can't breathe
Something’s gotta give now
'Cause I’m dying just to make you see
That I need you here with me now
'Cause you've got that one thing."
My smile grew bigger as his did. I knew this song. This was the song the band was singing when he pulled me up on the stage.
His voice grew louder.
"So get out, get out, get out of my head.
And fall into my arms instead.
I don't, I don't, don't know what it is,
But I need that one thing
And you've got that one thing."
At this point I was grinning from ear to ear and so was he. I didn't realize that I missed him that much until that moment. Really, I didn't know what I was doing, but I engulfed him in a hug so tight that he fell over, so we were both on the cement hugging and laughing.
"How did you find me?" I asked, sitting up and brushing myself off.
"Well, when a girl runs through streets crying you really don't have another choice than to stop the limo and run after her, do you?"
He gave me one of those sexy half-smiles and raised an eyebrow. I laughed. "I guess not."
His hand slipped into his pocket, bring out something black and shiny, then tossed it to me. It was my phone.
"How did you-"
"You left it in my hotel room."
"Oh." I turned it on to reveal that I had thirty-seven new text messages, twenty-five missed calls, and seven voice mails. I soon found out that they were all from the same person.
"What made you so upset?"
My eyes flickered up to his blue ones, then back down to the ground. "It's nothing. I was just overreacting." As usual.
"Seriously. Tell me."
I looked into his eyes, perfect circles of blue, this time not able to look away. "Abby showed me a .. song that you guys did."
Louis' eyebrows furrowed together. "Which one?"
I bit my tongue, trying to think of the name. "'Moments', or something like that."
I just barely heard a quiet "oh" come out of his mouth before Zayn and Harry came running down the sidewalk, almost going right past us.
"What's going on?" Zayn asked, glancing behind him. Paparazzi were already noticing us, so Harry ran ahead the small street that we were and beckoned for us to follow. I jogged down the street with them until I noticed something. This was the street that Louis and I were at last night. The bar I was at wasn't far.. Big D would probably be there if not in jail. He always has a way of sweet talking the police; that's why you never see him in prison. And believe me, I was a victim. Those persuasions are pretty damn convincing. I'm not surprised he's not stuck in a reformatory.
Louis must've noticed it, too; he kept stealing glances at me.
We halted to a stop at the end of the drive, figuring that he had a bit of time before the crowds start forming.
"I'll call Niall and Liam to let them know where we are," Zayn said, only a little out of the breath. Me? I was dying of exhaustion. There's only so much a girl can take in one day..
I exchanged nervous glances between Harry and Louis. I had no idea if they talked about what happened earlier, and if they did, what would the say?
It was silent for a while, Zayn off to the side whispering into his phone to not call attention. Then I couldn't take it anymore.
"Okay, so, like, what the hell is happening?"
I crossed my arms and moved in front of both of them, tilting my head to the side. Louis and Harry looked at each other before Harry's eyes shot to the floor. Louis took a deep breath, then confessed, "Harry said it was just on impulse. You know, that he kissed you. I'm sorry I overreacted, too."
"And what with you and Eleanor? Abby told me-"
"Look, what Abby saw.. she has it all wrong. I was there with Eleanor because-"
"She broke up with him," Harry interrupted abruptly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
Louis' mouth twitched into a small smirk. "She thought I was seeing you. Which, you know, I was, so I don't blame her."
My life came crashing down onto my shoulders. "Louis, I'm so sorry. I never intended this to happen. I don't know what the heck I was thinking, but I wasn't thinking straight for sure. I never meant to do this to you."
"No, I'm glad you did."
I got hear Harry softly sigh. I watched him make his way towards Zayn and lean in to hear the other end of the phone.
"Claire."
My gaze snapped back to Louis. He hugged me tight and whispered in my ear, "Look. This isn't working out between us. I've seen the way Harry looks at you. He'll love you so much more than I ever will."
I could feel my eyes widen to the point where I thought they were going to fall out. Louis pulled away and smiled sheepishly, adding, "And if he doesn't, well, I'm always here for you."
He squeezed my hand one last time and brushed past me, leaving me staring wide-eyed, mouth open at the wall.
Suddenly I remembered I had to breathe to live, my chest heaving. What just happened?
"Clarissa?"
I blinked and jerked my head backwards, meeting Harry's gaze, flashing me a small smile. "Are you coming?"
I smiled back faintly at him and nodded, walking slowly, still in some state of shock. Shooting me a concerned look, Zayn patted my back.
"We've never formally met," he told me, grinning. "I'm Zayn Malik."
I nodded and grinned back. "So I've heard. Clarissa Coligan."
He bowed dramatically, still walking towards the entrance to the 'normal' roads.
"One Direction, hittin' the road! Whoo!" Louis shouted, doing a very good hip thrust afterwards. I couldn't help but laugh. In fact, none of us could.
Then Jonah called me and everything went downhill from there.