Pain creates monstrosities as well as philanthropists. It molds people anew and redefines the essence of their souls. It divides the good from the evil. However, if pain is the same, how come the outcome varies? What is it that makes a hurt person choose to break others as much as he has been broken or embrace and help others, just so none could end up as broken as him?
A choice. A decision that is taken almost unconsciously, swayed by the force of our emotions. Before you even know it, you can find yourself in the path of a villain, you could find yourself having made so many mistakes. The world is full of people that have grown cruel and cold because of pain, and have acted toward others in ways someone could consider wrong. Someone could argue that the ones that made him cruel deserve his cruelness, the ones that hurt him should be hurt back yet when that happens when you are the one that returns to them their deeds, you become equal to them. For no matter, the cause and what pushed someone to do something wrong, in the end, the essence of the action doesn't change.
You wouldn't look at a killer as less of a sinner because he simply was a victim at the beginning of the story. Some may sympathize or even understand how he ended up being that, however, his action weighs alone and seals him as a human being. When you kill you are a murderer, when you steal, you are a thief, when you lie you are a liar. No matter what the reason had been. Once you get a label, you can no longer get rid of it and that's how your mistake represents you, it forms you. That choice that you take under the influence of the most painful moment in your life, could shape a villain into a hero and a hero into a villain.
However, between those two, there exists a grey area, which falls for the ones that hide their true selves. The villains who act cruel but hurt themselves while doing so, because they are scared deep down to show their kindness to anyone for it was once taken for granted or it was used. And there are the ones that wish for the downfall of people around them, and hate seeing others happy, but pretend to be kind and understanding because they are afraid of being discovered as well as fearful of heaven's judgment.
How can a mare human being judge correctly all these kinds of people? When you can't see what's in the heart of a villain or a hero? When you can't know if a mistake was made consciously or unconsciously? Forcefully or with pleasure.
Someone could say that it didn't matter. If someone tries to harm you, then you should see them as an enemy but Jimin couldn't allow himself to throw his psychiatrist into that category even though it was clear that she had made a move against him and most likely was siding with his enemies, while continuing fooling him and his cousin as well.
Jin had said nothing to him, however, he couldn't help but realize that he was eagerly waiting for her to question her, somewhere inside him, hoping that she would have a good explanation for this and Jimin did too to a point, handing on that benefit of the doubt and trying to reassure himself that she was not that kinda person and all these years that they know her, could not end in such a disappointing way.
He truly hoped she could have a good reason for he wouldn't like to see Jin heartbroken because unlike him, Jin had been with her for four years now and even had thoughts of spending the rest of his life together with her, as he one night had confessed to him.
The sound of the doorbell ringing was what brought the silence between them to an end and made them both instantly stand up from the couch, for they were both waiting for Jiya's arrival and yours however since Jimin didn't know yet which of the two had managed to reach at his apartment first, he grabbed Jin's forearm and halted him in place once he tried to walk away to answer the door.
"I will get it, you stay here." He told him, in an attempt to give him some more minutes to prepare himself to face his girlfriend is she was the one at the door. Jin reluctantly pulled his arm away from his hold and stepped aside, listening to him, even though not for the same reason Jimin wanted him to stay back. He was boiling inside to the point that he was a bit scared himself that he may lose his temper, before giving her a proper chance to explain and he could end up ruining everything, simply because he was being swayed by his emotions and the clues that were pointing at her.
Once Jimin opened the door however your voice greeting him reached Jin's ears and strangely enough made him relieved enough to leave a deep sigh escape from his lips.
"I am glad to see you, come in Y/N." Jimin gave you a smile before he urged you to come inside and you did so after giving a quick look behind you just in case and he close the door, giving you the chance to observe better his wrapped hand that you surely don't remember it being bandaged like that.
"You hit your hand?" You questioned him as you walked further inside and he followed by your side, your question making his smile wider as he claimed that he was trying to cook and cut himself. A sentence that had Jin rolling his eyes at him for not once in his life he had had the need to cook for himself. Jimin either orders out or Jin cooks for him.
"You are that bad at cooking? But I think in a movie you-"
"Hello~ I am an actor." Jimin reminded you of the obvious as you were ready to mention that in a movie you had seen he had cooked so skillfully in a scene but apparently it was all fake.
"Oh Good evening Jin-shi...I didn't know you would be here too." Your feet halted once Jin came into your view, his presence making it even more difficult for you to talk about what you came to admit related to the party.
"At this point, I am more in his place than I am in mine Y/N." He tried to appear like his usual self by replying in a joking manner then he signalled you to have a seat.
"Would you like anything? You must be tired from work." He questioned you and you reassured him that you didn't need anything, bringing the atmosphere to an awkward silence as they both stood there while you were seated, all debating in their heads how to start the conversation and get to the point they wanted to get.
"That night that I came to save you, you suddenly brought up Jiya's name, was she at that party?" Jimin decided to be straightforward with it as time was ticking his nerves and he couldn't take it any longer, however, he didn't need to take your reply as the way your head shot at him immediately and your eyes grew wide, he could already guess that it must be so.
" I -I don't think she did anything wrong. You said so yourself. She has other patients too and some of them may be famous as you. I admit I find her suspicious at first but I have no proof against her and so I found it fitting to not mention it." You explained your side for you definitely didn't want him to misunderstand you in any way however inwardly you sure got curious over how he had gotten to know about that.
"She had not done anything you mean, because now she did." Jin let his stress surface on his face as he brought his hand on his face and proceeded to exhale before he lifted his head towards the ceiling, clearly annoyed and hurt because the possibility of someone having forged that phone number in her name without her knowing, was now gone.
"What? You mean she-"
"It's nothing big. Let's not run to conclusions. She might have had her reasons. Now that she is coming over we will just discuss it, calmly and normally and the problem will be solved." Jimin interrupted you with words that were making the situation appear lighter than it actually was simply because he could tell Jin's emotional state.
"She is coming over?...oh...can I get informed of what she did?" Jimin proceeded to grab his phone and unlock it, opening that text again before he gave it to you and you observed the pictures of you and Jungkook at that party surprised for you weren't expected to be involved in this, however you could understand the grievance of this and how much of a mess it could cause if it was to become a famous rumour.
"Just because she was at the party, it doesn't mean she is the one that sent this?"
"Jin searched to whom the number belongs and it's under her name." Jimin clarified your wonder over how they had connected this with her and you threw your gaze over at Jin who had fallen quiet.
The doorbell that echoed was what brought your conversation to a halt, making you all grow a bit alert yet remain still, for unlike before now they knew who it was and they felt both reluctant to go answer the door for her.
'Maybe, I should hide. Seeing me here could make her feel more uncomfortable and possibly threatened. It would be best if she was to tell you both the reasons for her actions on her own, without a stranger meddling around." You stood up as you spoke, considering your absence as the best idea for now and Jimin seemed to agree with you as he urged you to go into his office and stay there for a while and you hurried away soon after, finding yourself in the familiar corridor that made you randomly recall the last time you had been in his place.
The strange things I have done just to be here...The end of this mess better be fulfilling or else...I am definitely gonna have regrets.
You thought as you opened the door, the voice of that woman speaking briefly and faintly reaching your ears before you stepped inside that room and softly close the door enough to cover you but also not fully, for you may have judged it better to not be present but you definitely wanted to hear what was about to go down between them.
"I am sorry that it took me a while. I hurried as much as I could. What's the matter?" Her worried eyes looked from Jimin to Jin as she stood in the living room, her hand on her shoulder still and in her arm, resting a file in which she holds the key point of Jimin's condition and takes it with her whenever they have a section.
"It's nothing serious. Have a seat first, take a breath." Jimin tried his best to be polite and she most likely would have not questioned anything if it wasn't for the way that her boyfriend was looking at her.
His eyes let her know that he was angry at her and even disappointed. There were no words needed for her to understand that he knew, for someone guilty as she was, over any small change that someone could give her, she would think that they knew was it truly so or not.
"I-I...I didn't" Her first instinct was to deny it, even though no one had accused her of anything but his eyes felt like he was blaming her or maybe it was she herself that was blaming herself enough to see her mistake reflect on his sad-looking orbs.
"Why, why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?" She tried to get herself together and cover her panic but her question made Jin's gaze become harsher on her.
"I received your text Jiya...Next time you decide to do something like this, can you please be smarter about it and not use a number that you have it registered under your name?" Jimin stopped pretending and brought the subject right where it should be, while her wide eyes snapped towards him, letting him know that she had not even thought about that.
"I don't know who are those people after me but at this point they just making a fool out of themselves. They are incompetent and I have started taking this personally not gonna lie. Like this is offensive at this point. I am not someone to be this underestimated. It's making me mad." Jimin continued to express his emotions in a rather dramatic way, half-jokingly half-seriously for he meant his words, but he was also trying to make the atmosphere a bit lighter.
"Who is it? Who are you trying to help?" Jin questioned her, ignoring Jimin's try completely for he was definitely not playing with this matter because to him it tasted like betrayal. She may have not gone after him or tried to harm him personally but she was well aware of how much Jimin meant to him and betraying him felt like she had betrayed him as well. She had hidden things from him and maybe even lied to him and that surely was not something he could pretend that it was no big deal.
"What?... You, you won't even ask why I did it? Who it is matters more to you than my reason?" She appeared hurt as she spoke to her boyfriend, making Jimin grow a bit awkward at the side, for he could tell that this was gonna escalate into a fight between them.
"Why? Do you have a good enough reason that could possibly justify this?" Jin's reply came off as a bit sarcastic and mocking even to your ears that were hearing him at a lower volume than he must have spoken, making you too realize that they were definitely going in for a quarrel to not say potentially a breakup.
"Huh! I can't even believe this right now. Do you even know what I went through?! Do you think it was easy for me?! Do you think I would do this for fun? I obviously had no other choice!" Jiya started raising her voice in frustration more and more as she spoke, her eyes getting filled with tears as she threw her bag to the side along with the file she was holding, which almost hit Jimin if it wasn't for the quick reflexes that brought him some feet away from them both, and a step near the corner that leads to the corridor and the rest of the rooms.
"Why didn't you say anything to me then?! I am your boyfriend, aren't I? I have never let you down! You knew how this could make me feel. Did you think we would never find out?!" Jin responded to her with the same intensity even though his chest was aching seeing her ready to cry.
"I would tell you! I just thought that going with their request was better for the moment. My father would be safe and I would have time to secure that even more. I was under pressure and I was scared!" Her voice cracked a bit as she went on trying to justify herself, the mentioning of her father, making Jimin and Jin understand that she was definitely blackmailed into doing this.
"We could have helped you. I wouldn't let anything happen to you or the ones you love and you know that. "Jin reached for her arm and pulled her close, this time his words more tender than before for he was feeling sorry towards her and his anger had vanished in front of the sight of her breaking down.
"How can you doubt me like this? I have been by your side for so many years-" She seemed hurt as she looked at him, making Jin get filled with guilt and instantly apologise to her as he proceeded to brush her tears away.
"I know that you care about him but don't put him above me. He has not been the one that soothes your worries nor he has been the one to give you a shoulder to cry on. He is the one and only problem in your life, your only flaw, and I never complained about it. I have always tried to help him and you so don't you dare doubt me over him again." Under the veil of sadness and the feeling of unfairness that had taken over her Jiya spit out some words that without her noticing, had ripped through Jimin's heart like an arrow and had stunned him in place instantly while Jin said nothing to her and just pulled her in his embrace, aiming to calm her down so they could talk further later and clarify this mess.
However, the fact that he spoke nothing somehow had made Jimin's saliva taste bitter for his silence felt like he had accepted her words as a fact. And he himself couldn't deny that it wasn't so. He had always been for Jin more trouble than he was worth but he was the only one that had stayed despite knowing his condition. Who would accept him as he was? So far only him, yet at that very moment, he felt like he had made a mistake by allowing him to remain his best friend for being around him, had always been and always will be nothing more but an inconvenience.
To be continued...