~iT's VinEgAr, CoWaRd~
^^^Recap^^^
"You. Pass." Kakashi repeats.
"Wat do you mean?" Sakura asks incredulously, "How'd we pass?"
"You're the first squad that ever passed." Kakashi starts, "The others did exactly what I said and fell into every trap. They couldn't think for themselves. A ninja must see through deception. In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum." He finishes.
He said it! He said the thing!! You happily squeal inside your head, grinning.
"He's uh.. You know.. He's kind of cool." Naruto says tearfully.
"The exercise is over- Everyone passes." Kakashi announces, "Squad Seven starts its first mission tomorrow!"
"Yeah!"
"I did it! I did it, believe it! I'm a ninja! Ninja! Ninja!"
Kakashi turns to walk off like a badass when he suddenly doubles over in pain.
After delivering a quick, sharp kick to his shin, you jump on his kneeled-over, now-accessible back and wrap your arms around his neck.
"Walk." You command.
Rolling his eyes, Kakashi stands back up like a champion and begins to walk away with you riding shotgun as the others follow.
.
.
.
"Hey guys.. What about me!?"
.
.
.
..Everyone except for Naruto.
^^^Present^^^
"Sasuke, point B."
"Sakura, point C."
"Naruto, point A."
"Naruto, you're to slow. Y/N? Y/N..!?"
"Yeah, yeah. Y/N, point That's What She Said."
"That's what-? Y/N, you're at point D."
"I know. Oh, by the way, I have the cat."
"HUH!? HOW!?"
"OW, NARUTO! TOO LOUD!!"
"Oops, sorry Sakura."
"Idiots."
"SASUKE-"
Your teammates make their way over to you, Naruto and Sakura loudly arguing the whole way. You, meanwhile, cradle the cat in your arms whilst nuzzling your face into its fur like a 2-year-old. Tora purrs, content with the attention.
SO CUUTTEE~~
Suddenly, Tora is snatched from your grasp by Naruto. "Ah Ha!!" He yells, "We finally caught you!"
Now, Tora liked you- You were nice and scratched him behind the ears. But whoever the heck this loud, annoying, migraine-inducing blond was, Tora did not like him one bit. So naturally, Tora released his inner Chonk Norris.
Lunging at him, Tora delivers a swipe to Naruto's face, scratching him.
"AhhhHHHHH!!" Naruto yells in pain, desperately trying to pry the unhinged thing off of himself.
"Can you verify the red ribbon on the right ear?" Kakashi asked over the intercom system, overlooking Naruto's.. Situation.
"Affirmative, we got a positive I.D." Sasuke answers, completely ignoring Naruto, who is still screaming in the background. Jeez, give this kid an award; It's been, like, a solid 30 seconds of him assaulting your eardrums with his screeching.
"CAN'T WE GET A BETTER MISSION THAN THIS!??" Naruto yells (Honestly if your ears weren't bleeding before, they are now), "I HATE CATS!!"
Tora hears this.
.
.
.
And Tora is not happy.
^^^Mini Timeskip brought to you by one pissed-off cat^^^
Long story short, you end up walking back to the Hokage's office holding Tora in your arms (Who is purring softly), with the rest of Team 7 following you (A good 6 feet back).
As soon as you all had entered the office, Tora's owner ran up to you and snatched the poor cat from your grasp. She instantly began to smother it in affection as Tora cried anime tears. "Oh!" She cooed, "My poor little Tora! Mommy was so worried about her one little fuzzykins, yes!!"
"No wonder he ran away." Sakura remarks.
"Stupid cat!" Naruto laughs, "That kitty deserves to be squashed!"
You give him a glare so cold that Jack Frost himself shivered.
"H-Hey now, N-N/N-Chan.." Naruto stutters.
Turning back to the lady, who was getting ready to leave, you say: "Hey, uh, be a little nicer, maybe?"
The woman turns to you. "You little br- Tch, mind your own business!! It's none of your concern how I handle my Tora!"
(A/N: Yes, I know- A fanfic where Tora-Lady isn't super nice to reader. But honestly, this is no normal fanfiction. This. Is. SPARTAAA (I am so sorry and I to am cringing))
Wow, okay then.
Honestly you were about to throw hands when something amazing happens..
As the woman leaves, Tora stretches out a paw and whacks her in the face, causing her to close her eyes in slight pain. Just as she does this, her fingers get caught in the door as she slides it shut. She howls in pain, sucking on the injured finger as if it were a pacifier as she holds Tora in one arm. You swore you saw Tora smile and wink.
"Karma's a bitch~" You whisper under your breath. Hey.. I should make a jutsu that instant-karmas people. Like, with a missile. Heheh.. I wanna use it on Oroachimaru~
Re-focusing on the discussion in the office, you hear the Hokage say; "-Now then, for squad Seven's next mission: We have several available tasks. Among them there are; Babysitting the chief counselor's three year old, helping his wife to do the shopping, digging the potatoes-" "Nooo!!" The Hokage stops, cut off by Naruto's complaining.
"I wanna go on a REAL mission!! Something challenging and EXCITING, not this little kid's stuff!! Come on, Old Man!" He whines like a 2-year-old.
You discretely pull out your notebook, opening it to the page you were looking for. Come on.. Come on... AUTHORS ABOVE PLEASE LET IT BE
YES!! You internally screech excitedly, It's the Land of Waves Arc! That means.. Zabuza and Haku... HERE I COME~
"Naruto!" The Hokage says sternly, startling you into fumbling and nearly dropping your book. Quickly taking advantage of anime logic, you stash jour journal somewhere no one would dare look. "It seems you have not understood the tasks you have been given. Listen, many different kinds of requests come into our village every day. From babysitting to assassinations, these requests are carefully recorded, analyzed, and ranked as either A, B, C, or D depending on their difficulty. We Ninja-"
"AH!" Naruto cuts him off, exasperated. "You always lecture me like your my grandfather or something! But I'm not the little brat that used to pull pranks all the time.. I'm a Ninja now and I want a Ninja mission!"
Kakashi rubs the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. "I'm going to hear about this later.."
The Hokage chuckles. "Naruto wants us to know that he's not a brat.. He's a former brat, and he wants a mission. So be it."
Three of the four members of Team 7 look shocked, as their Sensei remains silent. The fourth, obviously, is wondering if it would be possible to create a jutsu that makes infinite money.
"Since you are so determined, I'll give you a C-Rank mission. You'll be bodyguards on a journey." The Hokage continues, taking a smoke from his pipe.
"Really!?" Naruto yells excitedly, "Yes!! Who!? Are we guarding a princess!? Or some big-league counselor!?" He's practically drooling at the thought of the mission.
"Don't be so impatient, Naruto. I'll bring him in now." The Hokage says. "Send in our visitor." He calls.
The door to the office slides open to reveal.. Tazuna the old guy.
He takes a swig of his alcohol, sneering. "What the..? A bunch of snot-nosed kids?"
Deciding to be an annoying little shit you say; "Who's the old guy? He's, like, eighty. What are we supposed to be protecting him from? The nursing-home mafia?"
Kakashi 'lightly' whacks you on the head.
Tazuna looks at you with an annoyed expression. "No, I'm not Eighty, Missy. And you better watch your mouth."
"Watch my mouth? Judging by what's in that flask, I think I'm not the one who needs to 'watch their mouth' here." You fire back.
Tazuna opens his mouth to reply, but seeing your challenging smirk he makes the smart move and shuts it...
..Until he spots Naruto.
"And you- The little one with the idiotic look on your face. You really expect me to believe you're a Ninja?" He says.
Naruto laughs. "Hah! Who's a little one with the idiotic look on their-"
Sasuke, Sakura, and you all take a few steps towards Naruto, comparing our heights.
Well, I think that answers your question.
Sasuke is the tallest, both you and Sakura tied for second at roughly the same height, and Naruto's the shortest.
Naruto's eye twitches slightly. "I'll demolish you! Lemme' at em'!"
You're not Miley Cyrus, and you're not a wrecking ball..
Kakashi stops Naruto before he could do something he wouldn't regret. "You can't demolish the client, Naruto. It doesn't work that way." He tries to reason with him.
Tazuna hmphs in victory before taking another swig of his foul-smelling liquor. "I am Tazuna, a master bridge builder, and I must return to my country. I'm building a bridge there that will change our world and I expect you to get me there safely. Even if it means giving up your life." He says gravely.
"Don't worry, Sir. I'd jump in front of a chidori for you." You say, half-jokingly.
Kakashi gives you a look as Sasuke says, "You'd jump in front of a chidori for fun."
"So would Rin."
^^^Mini Timeskip to the Konoha Gate (Where you all are about to leave from) brought to you by Kakashi having another breakdown^^^
Arriving at the Konoha Gates you greet your team in a calm but happy tone. "AYOO, BITCHES!! YA'LL READY TO BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!?"
Sasuke and Sakura wince at your sheer awesomeness as Naruto waves excitedly, "Y/N-CHANN!!"
Readjusting the strap of your backpack, which was rainbow and had a picture of Twighlight Sparkle on it (Because you're a badass), you bound up to them.
"What's in the bag, Y/N?" Sakura curiously asks.
"Oh, you know.. just the necessities." You reply.
"Necessities?" Sasuke quirks a brow.
"Yeah! Toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, candy, a jar of glitter glue, a pocket knife, heavy-duty first aid equipment, matches, another knife.. Necessities!" You list off.
Kakashi puts a hand on your head. "Y/N.. Is there something you're not telling me?" He asks.
"Nope~!" You chirp. "Now let's go!! I'm getting bored!" You walk through the gate.
"Yeah! Alright!" Naruto exclaims, following you.
What are you so excited about, Naruto?" Sakura asks, annoyance clearly showing in her voice.
"This is the first time I've ever left the village!" Naruto replies. "I'm a traveler now, believe it!"
"Hey, am I supposed to trust my life to this runt? He's a joke!" Tazuna complains. "And the girl! She's a maniac!"
"HEY!!" You say, pissed. "That's Pyro maniac to you!"
Kakashi laughs a little and attempts to reassure him. "They're with me, and I'm a Jounin, so you don't need to worry. But just to be safe.. Y/N, give me your matches."
"Huh? No way!!" You shout.
Kakashi tries to grab them from you, but you duck out of the way and run over to a nearby bush, promptly attempting to set it on fire whilst rapidly crouching over and over again.
"We didn't start the fire~! We didn't start the fire~! It was always burning since the world's been turning~" You sing in a hurried, off-key voice.
While your chaotic nature does its thing (A.K.A, you rapidly running around a flaming bush as a pissed-off Kakashi chases you), Naruto angrily turns to Tazuna. "Hey! Never insult a Ninja! It's a big mistake. and I'm one of the greatest Ninja ever!! Someday I'm gonna be Hokage and you'll look up to me! MY name is Naruto Uzumaki! Remember it!!"
"Hokage are powerful and wise. You are puny and brainless. The day you become Hokage, I'll sprout wings and fly."
"Then you better start flying, bitch." You huff, puffing as you run in-between Naruto and Tazuna in a desperate attempt to lose Kakashi. It does not work.
"Ah! Shut up! Y/N's right, I will become Hokage!" Naruto shouts. "I'm willing to do anything it takes! And when I do, everyone will have to admit that I'm a top Ninja, including you!"
Tazuna looks back doubtfully and coldly says, "You can become Hokage ten times over and to me you'd still be a nobody, a loser."
"Ah!" Naruto yells, "I'm going to make you pay for that, right now!"
You Sensei guessed what was about to happen, and grabs onto his backpack with one hand, still restraining you with the other. "Naruto! You're supposed to protect the client, not attack him!" He scolds.
However, in doing so, he allows you to quickly grab your Aerosol deodorant, which you hold in the opposite hand to a lit match.
.
.
.
I think we all know what happens next.
^^^Mini Timeskip to after Tazuna's speech brought to you by a pissed-off, My-little-pony-backpack wearing, slightly singed Kakashi giving Y/N an involuntary piggyback^^^
You tiredly take a swig from your bottle of water as Tazuna looks over at you.
"Hey, kid.." He begins, catching your attention. "I think we got off on the wrong foot.. And hey, do ya' think you could spare a little bit of your water for a parched old man? I'm dying of thirst over here."
"This?" You ask, gesturing to your bottle. Tazuna nods.
"I don't think you want any of this.." You say.
"Huh? Why not? Tazuna asks.
"Because this isn't water."
"It's not..? Oh, I see. I like your style, kid. "I think I might've judged you a little to early." Tazuna compliments. "Say, where'd an underaged kid like you get a bottle of Sake?" He asks.
"It's not alcohol, either." You reply.
"It's not?" Tazuna asks, confused. By now everyone present is listening to your conversation, whether they make it obvious or not. "Them what is..?"
"It's vinegar." You smirk, swallowing a large mouthful of the stuff.
"What?"
"It's vinegar, coward."
"You're not serious.." Tazuna says, shocked. He grabs your bottle out of your hand, taking a sip before spitting it out. "Eugh! What the hell, kid!?"
You only smile a manic smile.
Tazuna looks you dead in the eyes. "I don't believe you actually drink this stuff! You must be lying! Tell you what- I'll give you ten if you drink it all. Right here, right now."
Kakashi lets you down, massaging his shoulders as you walk up to Tazuna with a confident grin before snatching the bottle right out of his hands.
"Bet." You look Tazuna dead in the eyes as you chug it all.
It was one of the most terrifying things he'd ever seen.
But here's the fun part. The alcohol Tazuna was drinking makes water taste a whole lot like.. Oh, I don't know.. Vinegar.
Your about to collect your payment from a gagging Tazuna when you notice something behind him.
A puddle.
You know that puddle.
His name is George.
Whipping your notebook, you confirm it is indeed George the puddle. Running over to it, you produce a jar of glitter glue that you kept in your backpack and dump its contents into the puddle. You internally smirk as you hear faint 'what the hell?'s and grunts coming from the Ninja hidden inside.
Suddenly, your lifted up by the scruff of your shirt like a cat. "HEY, what gives!!??" You yell, slowly swinging yourself around in a circle to face your attacker.
"Now, now, L/N~" Kakashi says childishly, "We don't want to get all muddy, do we~?"
"How scandalous~" You reply, looking longingly back at the puddle.
Suddenly, you are thrown down to the dirt like a sack of potatoes as chains wrap themselves around Kakashi.
You pick your face up from the dirt and watch, wide-eyed, as Kakashi's body is ripped to shreds like your school fees through the shredder. Sakura squeaks in fear as Naruto yells Kakashi's name.
The demon brothers (One of whom has a noticeable shoe mark on their forehead) turn to you, Tazuna, and the rest of Team Seven with a murderous glint in their eyes. "Now, it's your turn."
You decide that now is a fantastic time to go to sleep, so you put your head back down into the dirt and close your eyes.
Noticing this, Naruto points an accusatory finger at the brothers and yells, "NO! Y/N-CHAN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, YOU MONSTERS?? YOU PUT HER IN A GENJUTSU, DIDN'T YOU, HUH!? ANSWER ME!"
Sasuke looks over at your still body on the ground, and something inside him snaps. Jumping high above the Demon Brother's chains, he throws his shuriken at them, pinning the stupid things to a tree trunk. He lands on the two Ninja's arms, looking at them in silent rage.
"Whatever you did to her, undo it." He demands in a low growl.
Not waiting for an answer, Sasuke grabs their armored claws and kicks them both in the face. However, in doing so, the two Ninja are released from their chains. Quick as lightning, they each run to a separate target- One runs towards Sakura and Tazuna, whereas the the other sprints to Naruto (Who is standing protectively in front of you with a katana at the ready).
However, before they can reach your teammates, a wild Kakashi appears and puts them both in a headlock. "Hi." He calmly greets.
"Huh!? But he was. Whaa..?" Naruto says, confused, as he turns his head to where Kakashi's 'dead body' was located. Only, instead of seeing an AOT scene, he's greeted with the sight of a bunch of logs. "K-Kakashi-Sensei used a replacement Jutsu.." Naruto realizes.
Kakashi stops mid walk. "Naruto, sorry I didn't help you right away. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I just didn't think you'd freeze up like that."
Tazuna sighs in relief.
"Good job Sasuke. You too, Sakura." Kakashi praises. "And Y/N.. Y/N?"
"Over here." Sasuke calls from next to you.
Making his way over to you both, Kakashi crouches down next to Sasuke (Who is desperately trying to snap you out of your 'Genjutsu'). "RELEASE!" Sasuke yells, for what feels like the tenth time.
"You're doing the hand signs wrong." Kakashi states, leaning over you. "Like this." He forms the hand signs. "Release!"
Nothing.
"Hey, let me try!" Naruto says, running over to you. "Release!"
Again, nothing happens.
Now, Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi are all desperately forming the hand signs to release you from the Genjutsu you were under.
After a good thirty seconds of this, you finally stir. "Guys.." You groan. "I'm all for satanic rituals, but not right now.."
"Huh!?" They all shriek in surprise.
"You weren't in a genjutsu, were you..?" Kakashi asks, irking.
"Uh.. No?" You reply, but it comes out as more of a question. "But I was having this really weird dream where I was in BNHA, and everything was exactly the same as canon, but instead of wearing a hand on his face, Shigaraki wore a foot instead.." You suddenly sit up and slam a hand over your mouth. "I should not have said that. I should not have said that."
"..."
"..."
"..Who's Shigaraki?"
"Nobody!!" You quickly screech. "Hey, look! A wild blade of grass!"
"WHERE!?" Naruto yells out, excited. He latches onto your arm, pulling you close to him in happiness. "I WANNA SEE THE GRASS!!"
Sasuke sees Naruto's hold on you (More specifically, how close you are to him), and he doesn't like it one bit. "Hey, Dobe." He calls out.
You whip around and glare at Sasuke. Don't do it, you minecraft wooden hoe-
"You're not hurt, are ya'? Scaredy cat." He says to Naruto.
Naruto growls in anger as he yells Sasuke's name.
"Naruto!" Kakashi scolds in a serious tone. "Stand still! This Ninja have poison in their claws. We need to take it out of you quickly."
Naruto freaks out at the mention of the word 'poison'.
"You have to open the wound and remove it. It's in your blood so don't move around. That spreads the poison. By the way, Mr. Tazuna.." Kakashi continues.
Tazuna visibly flinches. "Yeah, what?"
"We need to talk."
Ooh.. Someone's in trouble~
^^^Mini timeskip brought to you by Y/N's amazing dream^^^
"..They're Chunin from the village hidden in the mist. Their specialty is relentless attack; They keep fighting no matter what the sacrifice." Tazuna spills.
"How did you know about our ambush?" Asks one of the brothers (Who are now tied against a tree).
Kakashi opens his mouth to answer them. "A puddle on a clear day? When it hasn't rained in weeks?"
Tazuna looks at him. "In that case, if you knew, then why'd you leave it to the Genin to do the fighting?"
"Because.." Kakashi explains, "I could've taken them out quickly, but then we wouldn't have learned anything. I had to know who their target was.. And, what they were after."
"Hm!? What are you getting at!?" Tazuna asks accusingly.
"This, I wanted to know if they were after us. Ninja attacking Ninja.. Or, if they were after you- The Master Bridge Builder. When you put in your request, you asked for standard protection against robbers and highwaymen. You didn't way there were Ninja looking for you, hunting you down. If we knew this, it would be a B-Rank mission or higher. Our task was simply to get you to your destination and protect you whilst you finished building your bridge. If we knew we'd be fielding attacks from enemy Ninja, we would've staffed differently and charged for the cost of a B-Rank mission. Apparently you have your reasons, but lying to us is unacceptable. We are now beyond the scope of this mission." Kakashi says.
"Oh, damn.. That's some 'Beat-down Jutsu: Adult Style' right there." You say.
"We are Genin, this is too advanced for our level of training. We should go back and I really think we need to treat Naruto's wound to get the poison out as soon as possible. Back in our village, we can take him to a doctor." Sakura tries to convince us.
"Hm.." Kakashi looks towards Naruto, who is staring at his injured hand. "Naruto's hand could become a problem. I guess we should go back to the village.."
Out of nowhere, Naruto whips out a kunai and uses it to stab his poisoned hand. "Why am I so different!? Why am I always- UGH!" Naruto growls in silent fury.
Sakura takes a few steps towards him. "Naruto! Stop that!" She pleads, "What do you think you're doing!?"
"I worked so hard to get here! Pushing myself until it hurts! Training alone for hours.. Anything to get stronger to reach my dream! I will never back down and let somebody else rescue me. I will never run away, and I will not lose to Sasuke." Naruto declares, "Upon this wound, I make this pledge! Bridge builder, I'll complete this mission and protect you with this kunai knife! A real Ninja never gives up, and neither will I! Don't you guys worry about me, I'll be fine! Now let's go!" Naruto finishes, as you whoop, whistle, and clap.
"Uh, Naruto.." Kakashi says, "That was really cool how you removed the poison and all, but if you loose any more blood, you're going to die.."
Naruto begins sweating profusely with an 'Oh, damn, he's right' expression on his face.
"NO, NO, NO!! I'M TO YOUNG TO DIEE!!"
~
Ehem.. So.. Heyy~ Yeah, I know, it's been like three weeks. Butbutbut! I have ✨Excuses✨
Actually, I have multiple excuses.
Pick your favorite;
1- My dog ate my wattpad
2- I was abducted by aliens and forced to read My Immortal
3- I ran out of coffee and was forced into hiding for humanity's safety
ANYWAYS! Ihopeyouenjoyedseeyouinthenextchapterdon'tkillmeplease-
-Rando :D
OH! BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! So.. I was thinkin' about makin' a little mini chapter about the love interests current thoughts on Y/N, E.g. How much they like you at the moment, their thoughts, anything about you they don't quite understand.. That sorta' thing. Maybe I could even do one at the end of every ark? What do you guys think?
Comment here and let me know
~
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Remember to keep your body,
Well-nourished and well-fed