Another couple weeks went by, and it was the week before that I was leaving to go see the girls. Most importantly I was going to be seeing Corpse. As well as for my birthday it was uneventful for the most part as well. I spent most of the day talking to him. Him and his friends decided to have a birthday stream for me and we played Among Us. Which I enjoyed a lot. I was more comfortable with his group of friends.
Rae, Poki, Emma, Sykkuno, and even Karl talked to me on a daily basis. It was nice. Ashley was proud of me for stepping out of my comfort zone and making more friends. Even though these friends that I had made were technically Corpse's. It didn't matter to her. She was happy. Ashley even came over and had a drink or two with me after the stream with the guys.
My mother managed to behave herself for the day. But the days after that, she was a lot worst then normal. So I decided not to tell her that I was going to be gone for almost a month. Though, I did make sure that she would have food. I scheduled food deliveries for her, so she wouldn't run out of food when I left. There was also almost a thousand dollars in cash on the table for her.
I laid in my bed and stared at my phone. The email that had the ticket for the flight I was going to be taking. I felt bad because Corpse was trying to make plans with me for the following week. I had to lie to him and tell him I was going to be busy working extra shifts at the nursing home I was at. Though I knew I was only lying to him so I could surprise him. It just felt wrong doing to him at all. This man has been nothing but good to me so far. I would go far as to say he was even my best guy friend as well...
But you don't have these kinds of feelings for your guy friends right? I had my head in my hands as I was beating myself up about the feelings that I was having. I was just supposed to be a fangirl and nothing more to him. Except his stupid self, was making me fall for him even though I knew we could never be more then friends.
I sighed softly and looked at my phone. There was a ton of Twitter notifications on my phone. I was surprised on how much some of the guys tweeted. It was also mostly the girls on Instagram posting things. I loved seeing them. I would always like most of their stuff.
I laid back on my bed and was looking at my somewhat packed suitcase on the floor. I was trying to decide what to wear. There was a lot of jeans and two different pairs of converse in my bag. Also, you can't forget my makeup bag, because I was going to be going out with the girls when I got to Cali.
I thought about calling Ashley and asking what I should bring to wear for the club. She was excited that I was even going to the club because every time she asked me to go out with her, I always turned her down with some lame excuse about having to study for my exams. Which wasn't always an excuse. I just didn't like to be surrounded by people. It was hard for me to be around so many people at once.
As if she knew that I was thinking about her at that exact moment. Agoraphobic started playing on my phone. I couldn't help but giggle a little bit about her timing. I picked up the phone quickly, "How the hell do you do that?"
"Well hello to you to my beautiful Corpse Wife." she said chuckling, as if she had made the worlds best joke. I groaned and closed my dark eyes rubbing my forehead. I really hated that she had started calling me that. I have to keep telling her that nothing was going on between Corpse and I. We were just friends. Which she was always reply with a sarcastic sure. "But with that being said, what's wrong love? You struggling to pack? You want me to come over?"
I sighed softly. A part of me wanted to have her come over, but my luck would be my mother would walk through the door and start her normal shit with me. Slowly I just figured to the hell with it, what would it matter if Ashley found out the truth about my home life. It wouldn't be that bad... at least I hope it wouldn't. I replied softly before I could talk myself out of it, "Yeah... Please."
An hour later, Ashley and I were sitting on my bed with wine coolers in our hands. We were talking about work and the hospital for a little bit. She got off my bed and opened my closet smiling at me. "Girl... Do you own anything other then jeans, sweatpants, and scrubs?" My face heated up instantly. Quickly, I shook my head no. There was never a reason for me to own anything else.
"Naw... I usually don't even wear the jeans. When I'm home for more then a couple hours, its usually sweatpants for me. Other then that, I'm working so there are the scrubs..." I muttered nervously. This was where I started beating myself up for not being a typical girl and owning cuter clothes.
Ashley kept looking in my closet. She started going towards the back of the closet. She put her long blonde hair into a ponytail. That was when she gasped softly. She quickly turned towards me. In her hands, was a dress that I bought a couple years ago for a date that I had.... which cancelled on me by the way.
It was a simple black dress for the most part. White flower designs and stem-like vines on it as well. The midsection was pure lace that transitioned into the skirt. Her blue eyes met mine and she grinned at me. "This. This is what you are going to wear to go out with the girls. You will look stunning in this."
I sighed softly. I looked down at my body. I wasn't exactly fat but I wasn't exactly skinny either. I knew all the girls were actually thin. I was going to be that fat friend out with her friends. Every group had one. I was even that for Ashley.
She saw the frown on my face. "Go change into it. We are going to take a picture and send it to Corpse." I shook my head no. I didn't want him to see me in that. That man was fit and skinny. If he saw me in that, it was for sure gonna lock me into the friendzone. There was no way that I was going to set myself up for failure.
She chuckled softly and threw the dress in my lap. The look in her eyes darkened. I knew already she was gonna threaten me to get into the dress. Throwing my hands up in defeat, I got up and went to the bathroom to change.
When I came back to the bedroom, Ashley grinned at me. She snapped the photo of me on my phone and was already sending it to Corpse. I frowned not liking that she had done that to me. I turned to face the mirror. The dress actually did look good on me. It fit me pretty well still to my surprise.
The girl in the mirror didn't have bags under her eyes anymore, her eyes weren't dull and lifeless like they normally were, and her dark shoulder length hair wasn't a complete mess that was always in a bun. I looked different. Part of me wonder if it was because as much as I was helping to take care of Corpse, that... he was taking care of me. He was always making sure that I was eating, or getting enough sleep so I wouldn't be walking around like a zombie for most of my day.
I sighed softly and turned back to my best friend. Ashley took a sip out of her drink and grinned at me. E-Girls are Ruining My Life started to play on my phone that was still in her hands. My cheeks flushed even darker. Corpse was calling me. I went to grab the phone without even thinking. Ashley smirked at me and answered the phone and put it on speaker.
"Hey loverboy. I got your girlfriend here in a dress. I'm doing better then you to get her in that thing." Ashley joked with the man on the phone. He already knew that Ashley knew. He kind of blamed himself for that and for making me stress out about her not finding out who he was. I groaned loudly when she called me his girlfriend to him.
I heard his deep chuckle on the phone. A smile crept its way on to my face without even realizing that I was starting to smile. "Yeah, only thing better then the dress on her, would be it on my floor." My eyes opened wide in shocked as he told Ashley that. She gave me this told you so look. He didn't even say anything about her calling me his girlfriend. Ashley started laughing at me, but I couldn't be mad at her. My reaction was probably priceless.
"Corpse... I'm going to kill you." I said as seriously as I could muster. This man was going to be the legit death of me. "Also before I forget, did you take your meds this morning? Because I forgot to text you to take them." I started fidgeting. As my best friend just smirked at me. It's like we were just giving her ammo to prove that she was right about our friendship not being fully platonic.
He chuckled again, but softly as if he was trying to hide it. "Yes Nurse Kaylee. I took my meds this morning.... But why are you wearing the dress by the way? You going out?" The tone of his voice sounded curious, mixed with a little bit of something else. Jealousy? Naw, that couldn't be it.
I looked at Ashley as she started to open her mouth. I knew she was going to say something about me packing to go to Cali. I glared at her and shook my head to indicate that he wasn't supposed to know. "Oh you know. I bought her a dress in case your dumbass ever comes to see her again." I was taken aback by how she was talking to him. Still hard to believe that this girl had gone from hardcore fangirl, to not even caring who he was. I still think this was because she thought mine and his relationship was going to change it an actual non platonic one.
I sighed softly and sat next to my best friend. Slowly, taking my phone out of her hand. "No, don't let her lie to you. She came over and found it in the back of my closet. She now has a photo of me in it to use it as blackmail against me." My stomach clenched as I lied to him again. This was really sucking. I couldn't wait for it to be done with.
He sighed softly, "I do wish that I could come see you... I just have so much work to do..." My heart broke a little bit. I could hear it in his voice that he was feeling bad. I wish I could just reach out and tell him that it was going to be okay and that he was going to be seeing me soon. But I knew the group would be upset if I told him.
The front door to my house slammed shut. My eyes widened and there was fear in my eyes. Ashley looked at me confused. She didn't understand what was going on. I stood up quickly, throwing my phone to my best friend. I motioned for her to stay quiet.
Keeping my head down, I walked into the living room to see that my mother had just walked into the house. She was already slurring her words. Her dark eyes that matched my own piercing through me. This was going to be so bad for me.
"What are you doing home, little whore?" she spit out at me. I cringed softly and kept walking into the living room. My mother was struggling to take off her shoes. I didn't say anything in response and bent down to help her take her shoes off so she wouldn't fall on to the ground. After getting her shoes off, I hadn't stood up right away.
CRAAACK. My head turned and there was a stinging sensation on my cheek. Instantly my hand went up to touch the injury. Panic started to set in because I knew that Ashley was still in my room with Corpse on the phone. I sat back on the floor and scooted away from her.
She kept toward me, "You are so fucking useless. I don't understand why you haven't killed yourself yet? You really think your dumbass will graduate from Nursing school? You might as well just give up now." Her words stung a bit, but I knew it was because she was drunk right now.
I tried to hold back my tears as I watched her. My eyes never leaving her. She began to kick me in my side as I sat there taking it. There was no reason for me to fight back and defend myself. It would only get worst if I tried to fight back. I whimpered as I felt each blow against me. My mother started to kick harder and harder.
A few minutes go by that felt like hours, my mother got tired and went to the living room. She sat down on the couch and started watching the television. It was as if she hadn't been kicking the shit out of me moments prior. I slowly tried to stand up. I could see bruises starting to form on my arms and legs. The worst part I knew my torso would look even worst here in about a day.
Ashley was standing right outside my door her mouth wide opened. There were tears in both of our eyes. She helped me into my bedroom and laid me on the bed. Her nursing habits started to kick in as she started assessing my body to see if there was any real damage done to me. I whimpered and cried out as she started touching my body. "Kaylee... why didn't you tell me this was going on? You always told me it was because you fell or knocked into something?" Her voice soft as she kept prodding me.
I looked out the window and didn't say anything. I didn't know that she still had the phone on the call with Corpse. He was silent and not saying anything. "It doesn't matter Ashley. She is my mom. I have to take care of her.... Even if it kills me. I guess... I won't be able to wear that dress now.." I started sobbing into my pillow now.
"Baby girl..." the deep voice sounded distraught. My eyes opened wide as I learned he was still on the phone. I looked at Ashley panicking. She shook her head and frowned at me. I could tell by the look in her pretty blue eyes she was trying to come up with a plan. "You need to get out of there..." His words stuck with me as I thought about it. Though I kept turning back to the same conclusion. I couldn't. She was my mother. My family.
Ashley frowned and looked at the bag on the ground. Her blue eyes darted back to me like trying to think of some plan to get me out of there. With the wordless conversation between her and I, I just shook my head. I was still going to go see him. It was more for his birthday anyways. After that I was definitely going to cut off all communications with him after that. This was only decided after him witnessing more or less my mother abusing.
Hell, it wasn't going to only be Corpse though. It was going to be Ashley as well as a bunch of other people. I was just going to drop off the face of the planet. One last hoorah right? "Goodbye Corpse." I said softly hanging up the phone. I knew he was going to blow up my phone later to check on me. Quickly, turning my phone off, I threw it in the top drawer of my night stand.
Ashley put a hand on my shoulder. Her eyes pleading me not to do this. "You can't push us away now that we know." she said softly. Her arms went around my shoulders softly and pulled me into a gentle hug. I don't understand how she understood what I was thinking at all.
My chest ache as I fought with myself to keep to my resolve. The girl in front of me was my best friend. How could I do this to her? Would I actually do this to her? I don't know. I think my body has gone into fight or flight mode because of what happened. I just relaxed into her. I was just overreacting...
She rubbed my back gently and softly. My eyelids slowly shutting as I grew tired. I felt somewhat safe at the moment. I knew Ashley wouldn't let my mother do anything to me. Though, it didn't feel as good as falling asleep on the phone with Corpse.. Safe was safe though. I couldn't pick or choose. Slowly, I fell asleep in my best friends arms.
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A/N-
Well.. Sorry that took a hot minute. I'll get better about posting faster. I promise. Just be patient with me loves. But thank you so much for reading this!
Anyways, have a nerdtastic day or night. Stay awesome! <3