YN smiled as the customer rattled around in her purse for the extra few dollars needed for her order. It was getting increasingly obvious that she wasn't going to find it, so YN clenched her teeth in irritation, painting her smile wider, the feeling pulling the skin over her cheeks tighter.
"It's fine, I can cover the five dollars." YN murmured, loud enough for the woman to hear, but not the customers behind her, that YN had barely had a chance to glance at. "The order will be ready around eleven thirty."
"Can you not make it earlier?" YN swallowed an impolite reply, slightly annoyed that the woman was asking more form the baker, even after she had been spared the remainder of her charge.
"There are a lot of orders that have been placed today, so unfortunately-"
"Look, whatever," the woman scoffed, zipping up her purse and taking the invoice from YN's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow at eleven."
Blinking, YN watched the woman leave, her hand coming up to scratch at her scalp in confusion. The next customer stepped forward after YN placed the order out the back, and YN opened her mouth to greet them accordingly, when the words dried up in her throat, the sight before her making the hair on her neck stand on end.
"Hi, YN." YN clenched her teeth at the blonde man, his smile hesitant. "I hope you don't mind me coming in, I'm sure you're busy-"
"You would be correct." YN interrupted him, stepping away from the counter. "I have about fifteen orders that I haven't even started yet-"
"It's about Bucky." Steve blurted, wincing when he saw the color drain from the baker's cheeks.
"It's always about Bucky." YN gritted out, hating the malice in her tone. "But today it can't be." Steve opened his mouth to attempt to sway YN again, but the shorter woman shook her head, taking another step toward the kitchen behind her. "I'm sorry, Steve. It's been three months and he hasn't contacted me, I'm trying my best to move on, I would appreciate if you'd let me do that."
Nodding, Steve sighed, looking to his hands that were clasped in front of him. YN turned her back as he heard Steve retreat toward the exit of her shop, her heart beating erratically in her chest. Fists clenched, YN released a loud sigh, nearly cursing when she called out to the blonde man to wait.
"Is he..." YN swallowed, running a hand through her hair in frustration. "Is he okay?"
Steve pursed his lips, his sad blue eyes making YN's stomach tighten in anticipation of his answer. "No," he whispered, shaking his head. "Far from it actually."
The pair were quiet as they walked side by side toward the apartment. YN's throat had had a permanent lump in it since she'd called a colleague to come in to start her long list of orders. Steve had watched with genuine guilt as YN pleaded with her coworker, promising to pick up some shifts in return the next week, making her work week nearly sixty hours.
"Will he even want to see me?" YN murmured as they got to the front door, Steve's keys clinking in his hand. "He left me, if you can't recall."
"Oh, I can recall," Steve chuckled, not an ounce of humor behind the action. "You're all the hope I have, if I'm being honest."
YN swallowed, the accidental pressure Steve was placing on her putting her on edge, more so than the weight of the steps she took toward her ex-boyfriend's bedroom door. Steve stood down the hall, watching with his arms crossed over his broad chest, watching as YN wrung her hands by her side. She was taking deep breaths to try and calm her thumping heart, the organ threatening to beat right out of her chest.
Lifting her fist, YN laid three timid knocks on the wood, the sound echoing through the otherwise silent apartment. A small grunt of annoyance met YN's ear, and she swallowed thickly, her tongue darting out to wet her dry lips. Footsteps could be heard approaching the door and YN instinctively took a few steps of her own back, allowing Bucky his space as the door was pulled open.
Cool blue found YN's gaze once the wooden barrier was removed, and YN watched the pupils dilate over the blue as the pair of oceanic eyes dragged over the woman's features. Bucky frowned, looking over YN's shoulder to have an inaudible argument with his best friend.
YN clenched her fists in irritation, clearing her throat to catch the brunette's attention again. "Steve said you weren't eating." Bucky blinked, finding YN's stern gaze once again. "What's going on?"
"What's it to you?" Bucky spat, his arms crossing over his chest in defiance. "Not any of your business anymore."
YN snorted, shaking her head in disbelief. "I knew it," she muttered as she looked to her feet, forcing her eyes to remain dry. "You're right. It is none of my business." She turned on her heel, determined to leave the apartment without another word when she met Steve's desperate expression, his eyes pleading with her to do something, anything to help his best friend... his brother. "But," she blurted, spun back around, watching Bucky's eyebrow lift on his forehead. "Your best friend is worried about you and... and so am I. We are worried."
"Well, you don't need to be." Bucky's jaw clenched as YN placed her hands on her hips, the action making his chest tighten in want. "I'm an adult, I can look after myself-"
"Can you?" YN said, leaning to look behind the man, the room behind him dark and, from the little she could see, nothing like the tidy room she once knew Bucky to maintain. "Because I'd say we have an issue with the way the room behind you smells like Satan's armpit."
Steve coughed behind them and Bucky glared at him, the terrible cover up urging him to deflate. "Look, I'm fine, I'm sure you have better things to do-"
"You're right," Bucky blinked, not expecting YN to agree with him. "I do, but I'm here because despite the fact you turfed me from your life three months ago, I still love-" YN stopped, shaking her head in annoyance, not so much at Bucky, but at herself for allowing the words to surface. "I still care about you, and I want you to be okay."
Bucky licked his lips before pressing the together, his eyes dragging over YN's face. Sighing, he stepped back, nodding his head to the room behind him. YN stepped in, glancing around the room with a heavy heart. Some furniture was upturned, looking like they may have been broken, cups and takeout containers were laying discarded on a lot of the surfaces.
YN walked over to the laundry hamper, confirming her thoughts of it being full. She shook her head in disappointment, her hands already getting busy rectifying what she could as Bucky watched her from the corner of the room. She'd had most of the room put back together, bar the broken furniture, when he cleared his throat, YN's hands immediately stopping their shuffling at the sound.
"What are you doing, YN?" Bucky whispered, his voice cracking slightly. YN licked her lips, walking over to the curtains and pulling them open, allowing sunlight to flood the room. Bucky was squinting when YN turned back to him, her hands on her hips. "What are you doing here?"
"Steve said-"
"Screw what Steve said," Bucky muttered, crossing his arms. "Why did you come?"
"You know why, Bucky." YN whispered, her chest tightening as she finally allowed herself to really look at the mans face. Her lips wobbled as she took in his sunken eyes, unkept hair and five o'clock shadow he'd always tended to since he turned his life around. Having to look away, YN turned her back to him, tipping her head back as some traitorous tears slipped past her defenses. "You can tell me you don't love me, or you don't think you deserve this, but I will always care for you, always love you enough for the both of us." Bucky sucked in a breath behind her and YN could have sworn his was closer than she'd last seen him, but she kept her back to him so that he couldn't see the now steady flow of tears falling down her face. "I close my eyes each night and fall into dreams of you, some good, great even, where you're running through the doors of my bakery and apologizing profusely, begging for me to come back to you, and I do, without a second of hesitation."
"YN-" Bucky whispered, but YN continued.
"Or there's the bad ones, the ones where I'm working on... on an order and I get the call that you've..." YN choked, feeling hands crawl up the sides of her arms. "And I didn't do anything to stop it, so when Steve said you'd stopped eating, stopped leaving your room I..."
Bucky shushed her, turning her in his arms and pulling her to his chest, nearly crushing her under the force of his grip. They were both crying, Bucky sobbing silently into YN's hair, and YN hiccupping against Bucky's chest, each of them begging the other to break the tension by admitting what they were both thinking.
"I'm sorry," Bucky finally whispered, after they'd both sunk to the ground, arms holding the others tightly. "I never should have pushed you away, you're the only thing keeping me sane and that scared me." YN pulled back, her glistening eyes staring deeply into Bucky's. "I was scared that I relied to much on you to keep me from spiraling, that you deserved someone you could rely on, not-"
"Bucky, I love you for you," YN returned, sitting up on her knees and encasing his face in her hands. "I love you for the calls at midnight when you can't sleep, begging me to sneak through the apartment and crawl into your sheets, even though I spent basically every night here anyway. I love you for the random drop ins at work, under the pretense you were in the area, but I know is because you need routine, and that's okay, because I want to be that person for you. I want to be the person you rely on for comfort, in your darkest and lightest times, I want all of you."
Bucky choked back a sob, pushing forward and capturing YN's lips in a electrifying kiss that both halves had been yearning for since YN had left Bucky's apartment all those weeks ago. The kiss tasted like tears, but YN couldn't find it in her to pull away, instead wrapping her arms around Bucky's shoulders and pulling herself closer to him.
"I can't promise I won't try to push you away again." Bucky whispered into her hair a few minutes later as they were laying on his bed.
"Next time," YN murmured, pressing a soft kiss against Bucky's shoulder. "I won't let you."