Lena and Kara get settled in her penthouse. Lena knows that both of them could likely use another drink... or two. The ravenette carries a couple glasses and an ice bucket over to the living room. She opens her liquor cabinet and looks over her shoulder. "What would you like, darling?"
The blonde just stares dumbfounded at the impressive stash of alcohol. Lena had a couple bottles out on display, but no one would have known the amount in this hidden cabinet.
"Darling?"
"Uh, I- I'm not sure. How about whatever you made me at that bar?"
Lena smiles at her before turning her attention back to the bottles of alcohol. She quickly pulls the bottles she needs and grabs the cocktail shaker. She kneels down by the coffee table as she makes quick work throwing ice cubes and the appropriate amount of liquor in the shaker. She can feel Kara's eyes following her every movement. She makes a show of shaking it before pouring it dramatically in a glass. She holds out the glass for Kara to take.
"Sorry, I don't have any oranges so I couldn't garnish like normal."
Kara eagerly grabs the drink and takes a tentative sip. She lets out a pleased little hum. "Delicious. But now that I've seen how you make it, you know your recipe isn't a closely guarded secret anymore, right?"
Lena chuckles lightly. "Well, I suppose I should ask you to guard it with your life then. Although, I can guarantee you that even if you try to copy it, it won't taste the same if you make it for yourself."
"Why is that?"
"Hmm. Well, let's say you get a recipe from a Michelin star chef and follow the recipe exactly. If you cook it for yourself, do you think it would taste the same?"
"I see your point," Kara says softly before taking another sip with a hum.
Lena stands up and heads back to the cabinet to grab something for herself. Instead, she opts for a single malt whiskey. After she pours a couple fingers for herself, she settles on the chair.
"I- I didn't mean to make you go through all that work. You could've-"
Lena is quick to cut Kara off. "It's alright, Kara. It's not that much work, and I enjoy making drinks anyways." Kara opens her mouth to protest more, but Lena holds up a solitary finger to quiet her. "Darling, I promise. I'm happy to make you drinks whenever you like."
Kara lets out a huff. "Fine, but you aren't playing bartender on Friday. Promise me? I don't want you to be stuck waiting on everyone."
Lena gives her some serious side eye for trying to make demands about what she is allowed to do in her own home, especially since she is also the hostess. There is a long heavy moment of silence. She looks at the puppy dog pout and can't stand it any longer. "Alright, fine. I won't make drinks for people. But I will make drinks for you, Sam, and myself."
Kara notes the sense of finality in Lena's tone. She decides not to push it any further before whispering, "Thank you."
Lena crosses her legs and leans back in the chair. "We should probably talk about Friday just a little bit. Plan for it. Only if you are up to it, of course."
Kara puts the glass down and leans forward with her elbows on her knees. She lets out a heavy sigh with her head down. "I- I'm so sorry, Lee."
"Hey, hey," Lena hears Kara's voice break in those few words. She is quick to put down her own glass and move to the couch. She wraps the blonde up in a side hug. "We already did our apologies. No more. it's okay, darling. Everything will be alright."
Kara breaks down into giant, heaving sobs. She has been repressing a breakdown ever since Alex came into town, trying to focus on repairing the damage done to the doctor. Lena just holds onto her tightly and lets the woman collapse her weight into her body. She scratches Kara's scalp while her other rubs up and down that heaving back. She just lets the woman cry and cry and cry. She doesn't say anything. She simply rests her cheek against Kara's head and holds her.
As Kara starts to calm down some, Lena murmurs in her ear, "What do you need right now, darling?"
"I- I don't know," Kara hiccups. "I don't know."
"Alright, sweetie. We can sit right here." Lena leans her head back to lay eyes on Kara's face. She wipes away some of the tears that she can reach. "We can put on some trash show or move out to the balcony later if you want. If you decide you want something, all you have to do is tell me."
Kara freezes for a brief moment. "I- I should go home."
Lena does her best from letting out a sigh at the switch in behavior. She should have known that was coming. She hardens her voice just slightly; it's still laced with heavy concern and care, but she needs to make sure Kara hears her. "Kara, I will take you home if that is what you really want. But only if that is what you really want. If you are saying this just because you are guessing what I want, I'm not going to do it. If I can provide you with a sliver of comfort, I would do anything in my power to do just that. Do you understand that?"
Kara hides her face further into Lena's body. Kara whispers into Lena's neck, "I- I don't know why you're so good to me, but... thank you, Lee."
"Darling, I'm just being a decent human being. Or at least trying to be. Now, I take it that it means you are staying put?"
Kara sits back. Teary blues look directly into green ones. "You are better than just 'decent,' Lena. You are amazing woman who has quite literally saved me in more ways than one. I- I think I'm entitled to thank you for all you've done for me... Even if you do this with every person you come across that's this big of a mess, I'm so grateful for everything you've done."
For some reason, in the back of Kara's mind, she realizes that it would bother her if Lena has done the same for someone else. She squashes that feeling the moment she realizes that Lena is tearing up. She practically tackles the woman in a tight hug while apologizing for making her cry.
A few beats of silence fills the space before Lena mutters, "I haven't."
"Haven't what?"
"I- I haven't done anything like this before. I just... don't like seeing you hurting."
Kara's heart lightens at the admission. She smiles at the woman and feels a weird feeling expanding in her chest. Kara holds Lena's face in her hands and gently wipes away the tear marks on her cheeks. "For the record, I don't like seeing you hurting either. And I know that you don't blame me, but if there is something I can do to make it up to you or- or take away any of your hurt... well, you'll let me know, won't you?"
Lena's eyes dart away. She bites her lip, and her silence is telling.
"Lena? You would tell me if I could help, wouldn't you?" Kara continue to hold Lena's face, desperate for those green eyes to look at her again. She starts to feel anxious. She starts to realize that Lena wouldn't actually tell her if she needed something. Everything has been Lena comforting her. Any comfort Kara has given her has been incidental or accidental. Kara swears that it feels like a rock just plummeted to her stomach. She knows she sounds desperate, but she doesn't care. "Please? Lena, please. What I need is for you to tell me when you need something. I really need you to do that for me."
Lena's attention snaps right back to the blonde. She gently rests her hand against Kara's as she presses her cheek into that warm palm. She smiles sadly at the woman in front of her. "There is nothing for you to do, sweetie. No one can change the past or what Lex had done."
"That's not," Kara sighs. "I know no one can change what happened. I'm not asking to fix it. I'm asking that you let me know if there is anything I can do to make it better now. I want to be able to support you. I want to be able to do for you what you've done for me. Well, besides the curing my cancer. First off, there is no way I would be ever be able to do that. I'm not that start and barely passed high school chemistry. And secondly, I really hope that you never get cancer. And if I really think about it, thirdly-"
"Kara," Lena cuts her off gently. "I don't expect you-"
"That's just it! I want to be there for you. I know you don't expect it; I know it may be difficult to trust me... But, I'm asking to be in your life. Like, like Sam is!"
Lena blushes profusely and blinks rapidly. Her brain unhelpfully reminds her of all Sam's teasing lately. She gets lost in her head until Kara starts stroking her thumb against Lena's sharp cheekbone.
"Will- will you let me?"
Lena can see the destress written all over Kara's face. Little does she know just how big of request she is making. She's not just asking to repay this ill perceived 'debt' from Lena; she's asking for absolute trust and vulnerability from her. Lena takes a deep, shuddering breath as she looks deep into those cerulean blues. There is desperation and hope in those eyes. Lena just knows that she can't say no.
"Alright, darling. I will let you know if there is anything in the future." Lena lets out the breath she has been holding and smiles as she watches the blonde's stress and anxiety melt right off her. Her mind has a fleeting thought of 'so much for keeping her distance.'
Kara hugs her tightly as she mutters soft 'thank you's' repeatedly. She feels absolutely elated that she will have a chance to be there for Lena. She is going to do everything in her power to meet Lena's needs, to be there for her whenever she needs it. Kara pulls herself back, remember that Lena might want space instead of her incessant need for physical touch.
Lena takes a moment to gather herself, completely overwhelmed by everything that has transpired in the past few minutes. She picks up her whiskey and holds it up. Kara is quick to follow the cue and clinks her glass.
With a dopey smile, Kara says, "To new friendships."
Lena takes a deep drink from her glass before clanking it back down on the table. "Now then, is there anything else you need right now?"
"Just you, Lee. Just you."
Lena throws on Wizard of Oz as they both lounge on the couch. Lena's not surprised when Kara subtly shifts throughout the movie until she is cuddled into Lena's side. Just before it ends, Lena hears soft snores. She smiles to herself when she sees the blonde snoozing away. She's not surprised. It had been an emotionally exhausting afternoon. Lena cards her fingers through that soft, thick hair. She gets lost in her thoughts about how this woman has managed to weasel her way so deeply into Lena's life. She mentally scolds herself as she remembers that she had also pushed Kara to let her in. There is just something about her that calls out to Lena, something inexplicable.
Lena puts on another movie, but it isn't long until she falls asleep too. She wakes up unexpectedly to movement and whimpers. It takes a few moments to orient herself, but she is quick to the draw in realizing the Kara is having a nightmare. She sits up quickly with the woman still in her lap. "Kara. Kara, darling. Wake up. It's just a dream. You're okay. You're safe."
Kara wakes up in a panic. She feels her shoulders shaking and tears in her eyes. She hears another voice, and it takes her a while to realize where she is. She jolts out of Lena's lap and makes herself as small as possible on the other end of the couch. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
Lena is careful in her approach. She holds her hands out, palm side up. She slides slowly closer to the frightened woman. "Hey. It's okay, Kara. Take a deep breath, yeah? For me?"
Kara quietly follows the instruction. She takes a deep breath in but immediately releases it to take another panicked breath in.
"Good. Good job, darling. Take another for me and let it out slowly."
Kara follows the instruction as best as she can. Lena calmly guides her through slow and careful breathing until she is settled back down.
"That's it. Let me go get you a glass of water, okay? I'll be right back." Lena heads into her kitchen and grabs a glass of water. Just even pauses to grab some chocolate before going back to Kara. She looks around, slightly stunned, when she notices the blonde isn't there anymore. "Kara?"
As Lena steps towards the bathroom to see if that's where she disappeared to, she sees the woman huddled on the balcony couch. She pauses in the doorway. "Do you want to be alone?"
Kara stares out at the city. She shakes her head no. Lena is quick to settle down next to her, only just a couple of inches of space between them. She holds out the water glass and chocolate like an offering. Kara gives a tight lipped smile and a quiet thanks between sniffles.
"Do you want talk about it?" Lena asks softly.
Kara takes a bite of the chocolate. "Just a nightmare."
Lena's heart breaks at the sight of the woman so sullen. "What was it about?"
Kara just shakes her head with her eyes tearing up. She takes a sip of the water before setting everything down. She pulls her feet up and hugs her knees. She knows Lena is looking at her, but she can't bring herself make eye contact. She feels a tentative hand rest on her shoulder. She leans her cheek into it.
"It's alright. We don't have to talk about it. We can just sit out here and enjoy the fresh air." Lena activates her bluetooth speaker and has it play calming music. "You know, this is usually where I do some yoga when I'm stressed."
"That sounds nice," Kara mutters quietly.
"What do you normally do?"
"I go for runs usually. I- I haven't had the energy when going through my- my treatments."
Lena hums. Her mind flashes back to seeing the woman jogging in her bra and leggings. "Well, I'm afraid you will never get me into running, dear. The most I will do is a spin class." After a lull, Lena tries to reach her again. "Do you want to go for a run right now? You can borrow some of my workout clothes."
Kara shakes her head. "Don't want to be alone right now."
Lena squeezes her shoulder. "You're not alone, darling. I won't leave you alone."
"Will... will you-?" Kara stops herself and hugs her knees closer.
"Will I what, sweetie?" When Kara shakes her head again and sinks further into herself, Lena decides to probe one more time. "You can ask for whatever you need, Kara. If it's within my power, I will do whatever you need."
Kara takes a deep breath and in a hushed whisper, she rushes out, "Willyoudoyogawithme?"
Lena smiles and giggles at that. "Yes, honey. I would be more than happy to. I'll go grab you some workout clothes, and we can change. I know I have a spare yoga mat somewhere." Just as Lena shifts her weight to stand, she pauses for a moment. "Will you be alright for a moment? I'll be right back; I promise."
Kara nods with a slight smile on her lips. She relaxes her body a bit. She watches the woman rush back into the penthouse. She lets one of her feet drop as she looks out over the city. Her heart rate calms down and her breathing goes back to normal. She shuts her eyes for a moment and her dream pops back into her mind's eye. She's withering away, in extreme pain, all alone. Her cancer returned, and her family and friends never forgave her. She dies completely and utterly alone.
Lena unknowingly interrupts her flashback, "Here you are. I think these will fit. I'll get everything setup, and you go get changed."
Kara smiles and grabs the clothing. When her eyes pan up, her breath hitches momentarily. Lena's just in a sports bra and plain black leggings. Her hair is up in a messy ponytail, and she looks so soft and casual. She mindlessly stands and lets her eyes wander that exposed pale skin.
"Hop to, darling. Oh, and what's your experience level with yoga?"
Kara stumbles over her words, "I- I'm... average? I guess." She moves herself into the penthouse and heads to the bathroom. She takes a deep breath as she changes. The leggings are a little short on her, but otherwise fit. She slips off her shirt. She's glad that she wore a sports bra today because as much as Lena tired, the one that she gave the blonde would be too big. Kara catches herself thinking about just why Lena's bra has to be bigger. She blushes and is startled that she is having these thoughts at all. She tries to put on the shirt Lena gave her, but it doesn't fit over her shoulders. She looks at herself in the mirror when she pulls it off. Her hands wander her slightly pudgy stomach. She has a deep frown when she wanders back out to the balcony, unhappy with the way her body has changed.
Lena is laying out the second mat when she sees Kara come back out. She completely halts right in the middle of her task as her eyes pan up that tall, muscular body. She has to swallow some drool when her eyes rake over that toned, exposed stomach. They hover over those biceps and drink in those defined shoulders. When she notices the frown, she is quick to try to reassure the woman with whatever is wrong.
"Are- are you okay? What's the matter?"
"N-nothing," Kara rushes out. She definitely doesn't want to get into her insecurities at the moment. "So, yogi, what are we doing?"
Lena watches the blonde carefully and makes the conscious decision to let it pass. Clearly, the woman isn't ready to talk about whatever is going on in her mind. "Well, we will do some warmup stretches, and then I'll lead you through the routine I do when I'm upset."
Lena and Kara both stand in the middle of their mats facing each other. They go through a series of stretches to loosen up. Lena has a hard time keeping her eyes to herself. She scolds herself and then tries to justify it in her mind that she is just checking Kara's form. After some neck rolls, shoulder rolls, and pike stretches. Lena starts them easy with cat cows and cobra poses. She coaches Kara through her breathing as she moves them from one pose to the next. Seeing Kara work through the basics, she feels confident in moving them to some more complex poses and holds. Lena starts holding the poses for longer and opting for the more difficult variations. Soon they both have a light sheen of sweat covering their skin, and Lena has to pant her way through some of the instructions.
"One more pose, Kara. And then we'll start going through the cool down, and go through meditation," Lena huffs out. The last pose is one that is deceptively difficult. Lena has them both get into the Lord of the Dance pose. Lena closes her eyes once she gets herself into it. For some reason, it's always helped her balance. The calm doesn't last as she hears a sudden thud and a muttered curse.
Kara is panting, bent over, with her hands on her knees. She completely fell out of the pose and twisted her ankle in the process. She cusses herself out in her mind for her weak, frail body not doing what it should.
"Kara! Are you alright?" Lena exclaims as she rushes over.
Kara tries to blink away the angry tears, but they fall anyways. She mutters under her breath and flinches when she feels Lena's hands on her. Lena's hands jerk away.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
Kara shakes her head no. She moves to the couch and plops down in a huff. Lena kneels down in front of the woman. Her eyes flitting all around, checking to make sure she is okay. Her hands fidget, restless, as she tries to figure out her next step. She tunes into Kara's muttering just long enough to hear her cursing her weak body.
"Is- is that what is the matter? Darling, you are so far from weak. And you are so much better than just 'average' with yoga. It took me years to nail that routine. You just followed it as if you've been doing it for ages. You are incredibly strong, Kara. So strong."
Kara's anger gets the better of her. "But I'm not! I'm not anymore! Look at me! I've lost so much muscle. I can't even jog a mile without getting out of breath anymore. I'm weak, and pathetic, and disgusting."
Lena pulls Kara's face closer to look her in the eye. "Stop. Stop, and listen to me, right now. You are beautiful, Kara. You are gorgeous and strong. Maybe you lost some muscle, but you are able to get it back. You will get it back. Your body fought off cancer. It went through so many rounds of different treatments that tears people apart, but your strong, capable body withstood it all. Your body is a temple, darling. You are so strong and so beautiful. Never doubt that. And if you do, you come find me. You find me so I can remind you exactly the strength you possess."
Kara looks properly told off and can't seem to look away from that steely gaze. She has a shuddering breath when those hands move down to her shoulders and upper arms.
"Did you hear all that?" Lena asks softly.
Kara nods dumbly at the woman before her.
"Good. If you need it repeated, you just let me know. I'll gladly remind you, always."
Lena moves to sit next to the blonde after she is sure that her message has been received. She leans back and gulps down some water. She enjoys the cool breeze. She chokes slightly when she feels Kara nuzzling into her side again.
"Darling, I'm so sweaty and probably smell atrocious. That cannot be comfortable for you."
"I don't mind. And you actually smell pretty good for finishing a workout. You just smell like... you."
Lena flushes a bit at that admission. She just calmly rests her head against the blonde's in response. They sit together for quite a while on the balcony. As the sun sets lower over the cityscape, Kara's stomach grumbles loudly. Lena giggles at that and is quick to suggest a shower and a meal. She calmly invites Kara to spend the night with many reassurances that it isn't a bother.
While Lena showers, Kara checks her phone. She groans at the sheer number of missed calls from Catco. She missed another round of staff meetings. She can't bring herself to listen to the voicemails. She checks a missed text from Alex instead. She quickly informs her sister that she will be spending the night at Lena's. She agreed to meet her for breakfast before work tomorrow. She's going to have to beg to keep her job; she's sure of it.