TW: Panic Attack
I tried to slow my erratic breaths as I sat on the bed in Alan and I's room. I was alone while it was silent, and then all the thoughts came.
'You're not good enough.' 'He doesn't need you.' 'You really think he'd care if you leave him.'
I whined as I covered my ears trying not to let the tears spill out. Soon enough the panic attack followed. I curled into a ball with my back against the bed and cried while gasping for air.
"Baby I'm home." I heard Alan yell from down stairs. I didn't even have enough strength to get up or yell for him. I sat and cried as I gasped for air.
"Baby?" I heard Alan yell from down the hallway. I continued to cry with no response. I watched as Alan appeared in the doorway with concern in his eyes, before dropping everything and running to me. He pulled me into his lap before wrapping his arms around me protectively.
"Shh, I'm here now love everything's okay." He said, as he held me and helped me calm my breathing. "What happened?" He asked, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"It was silent, and then I became insecure and worried, then I panicked." I told him, my voice cracking towards the end of my sentence.
"Baby, there's nothing to worry your pretty little head about. You're enough, you're perfect, I couldn't ask for anything more." He told me kissing my forehead. I smiled slightly as he lifted me onto the bed, and cuddled close to me.
"Alright baby, we take a 4 hour nap, then we eat dinner, then we get some work done. Deal?"
"Deal... I love you." I told him tiredly.
"I love you too Darling."
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