The wind rushed in my face blowing back my hair as the trees passed by me in a blur. The breeze was cool but in a welcoming way rather than cold as the night air gave me a refreshing feeling. The moon was high in the sky shining down on the dimly lit roads as Scott drove at an alarming speed but not enough to scare anyone, or Oliver I should say.
We were in Scott's jeep and my upper half was currently outside the sun roof, everything was in slow motion but wasn't, clear but unclear, a whole other universe. At least in my current state of how high I was. I swooped back into the car briefly, Scott and Tyson were conversing about god knows what as I leaned down looming over Oliver with my face only a few inches away from his with a shit eating grin.
His eyes widened at my close proximity considering how spacious the back seats were but I hardly noticed. I could tell he was in a state between panic and being relaxed completely, almost like he couldn't choose between which emotion he should give into. Panicked is not how I wanted his first high to be so instead I leaned closer, over to his ear to whisper.
"Come see what I see Oli."
I leaned further back to catch his reaction. His cheeks flushed pink as he averted his eyes but nonetheless unbuckled his seatbelt. A smile took over my grin as I grabbed his biceps hauling him up and out of his seat the second I heard the clip unlatch itself. I went out of the sunroof first, pushing over to leave him space.
I watched him hesitantly poke his head out before standing at his height, taking his arms out to grip at the edge of the roof. My eyes were so focused but unfocused as I stared at him. His hair immediately pushed back and his glasses went further up his face at the force of the wind, his green eyes were lidded from the high, his eyes around the green red. His pale skin was glowing under the moonlight and in the moment he was breathtaking.
I hadn't realized I actually stopped breathing because I was looking so intensely that I started to cough. His eyes shot to me instead of the treelike and awkwardly patted my shoulder. My couching quickly turned to a laugh at his awkwardness, my hand snaking around his waist to keep him steady. I felt the sharp intake of breathe that he took as I pulled him slightly closer to me.
"Scream with me!" I shouted out, probably louder than I should have but with the force of the wind I didn't want him to miss what I said.
He looked at me with slight confusion as his eyebrows furrowed together. "What?"
That when I let it out. I turned my body toward the front of the car my hand resting on his hip as I yelled out into nothing, my hollering echoing into the night. I heard a faint laugh beside me, my head turning with a smile as I watched him looking at me with his own on his lips.
So I began again, ranging from howling like a wolf to whoops and plain yelling. Nothing made me feel more content in life at the sound of Oliver joining me made me feel. I didn't know if he was capable of being loud in his life but in the now his voice echoed with mine just as vibrant. Watching him let go made me feel a sense of proud. I could hear the laughter in the car below us before their own yelling sounded as they rolled down the car windows, the sound of Tyson smacking the upper part of the car joining in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was almost five in the morning now. After we quieted down getting into town we went to a 7-11 to grab snacks as high people do and somehow ended up outside with Scott attempting to dance battle the crackhead. It was so interesting because the guy was clearly on either crack or a massive loud of cocaine and was more than willing to bust out the old moves for Scott. It wasn't until the guy did the worm on the concrete floor that Scott gave up and admitted defeat but honestly that crackhead could dance.
Oliver was sitting beside me in the passenger seat, he didn't buckle in this time and was so relaxed. He was slouched down, his hand out the window feeling the breeze with a content look on his face. I shouldn't be driving with the high still prominent and by looking at Oliver he clearly was still too. I don't know how we'll get up for school in two hours from now but I wouldn't change it for the world.
"Okay so what is life really?"
"You mean other than a pain in the ass?" I questioned.
"I mean like what is it? Is it just to test who we are as people? But that wouldn't make sense because we die in the end. Is it to just to see how long we hold out for? Or is is this just a simulation?" He sat up at the last question looking so deep in thought I couldn't help the bubbling laughter escape my lips. He sat there pouting from the corner of my eyes.
"Chill out Picasso, life is whatever you want it to be. Just go with it."
I had to say I haven't seen Oliver tug at his sleeve all night after smoking and he was more calm from the panic phase after the shouting. He does however go into so many deep conversations about so many different things I thought Tyson was going to lose his mind thinking so hard. He was so invested with everything Oliver pointed out it was a sight to see. Tyson wasn't one for emotional... well anything that involves emotions period.
"I only just go with it when I'm painting, it's like it's where I belong." He muttered.
"And that's okay." I said with a shrug. I offered him a smile in which he returned in full before pulling up to the curb of his house. I shifted my car in park and took off my seatbelt, shifting in my seat to face him. Even though we're here he didn't move an inch and was leaned up against the window with his back facing it as he looked back at me.
It was silent in the car as we stared at one another. Our eyes were still half lidded and our smiles not once faded it almost made me want to laugh. He was very pretty and even though I was straight I couldn't help but admit that fact.
"So how come you've never done anything with anyone?" I asked finally, my shoulders dropped slightly in a more comfortable position. His cheeks fell pink and looked away from me toward the street lamp a couple houses down with a shrug.
"If you haven't noticed I'm not exactly sociable."
"No but you're hot, someone should have approached you by now." I admitted. I could feel my heartbeat pick up pace all the way to my head at my words but I felt the wild free sensation of not knowing what was next take place in the pit of my stomach.
"Not many people are gay in this town obviously and less that want to social with me in general. I'm not that good looking either Jackson I'm just average." His voice was slow and if I wasn't just as high as he was I would have thought he was searching for the right words.
"So you haven't even kissed anyone?" I heard myself asking, my smile turning into one of a smirk as my thoughts began to run wild against my will. It was hard to think anyone of our age not having a single kiss. I had my first at nine and lost my virginity at fourteen. I haven't met anyone who hadn't let alone doesn't jerk off. Oliver certainly didn't look the type to do anything that would be sinful but I knew if I was thinking with something more down further than my head that he would look great doing it.
"No." He spoke quietly again, his cheeks turning a darker shade of red but still remained nonchalant as before, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
My heart was beating against my inner rib cage almost painfully as my eyes sweeped over the dirty blondes facial features. The perfectly shaped eyebrows, high cheekbones, thin small nose, the dimples on the side of his smile and finally my eyes landed on the soft pink flesh of his lips for a moment too long. My foot tapped against the flooring of my car for a moment before I leaned slightly forward, shifting onto my knees as I scooted closer to the smaller boy. My body was reacting too fast for my head to pick up, the high not helping the situation so instead I just put everything into my actions instead of thinking.
"Do you want to?" My face was only a few inches away from him as I looked down at him slightly. My voice was dropped down to a whisper and came out huskier than I intended but at this point I wasn't sure what I was even intending. His green eyes were looking up at me with a mix between shock, uncertainty but what I presumed to be lust. His eyes dropped to my lips for a moment. I took the opportunity to run my tongue across my bottom lip as I stared at him expectantly.
"Oli?" I hummed softly, leaning forward more until I gently bumped my nose with his. His breathe hitched and I couldn't help to smirk at the way his chest fell and rose rapidly. I brought my hand up and gently placed my thumb down on his bottom lip, bringing it down slightly with the action.
"Yes." He breathed finally almost sounding like a sigh. His hands grasped the front of my hoodie, fisting it slightly as his eyes flicked up to meet mine and I almost choked on my spit seeing how lust filled his eyes were. He was looking at me intensely through his long eyelashes, his lips slightly parted.
Before I could process what this meant I had my lips pressed against the others. I heard him sigh quietly between us, his other hand reaching behind my back as my own wrapped around his small waist pressing him more forward so his back arched and his chest was pressed firmly against my own. His lips were slightly chapped but felt so soft against my own as our mouthed moved together. I used one hand to reach up, my hand grazing into the soft strands of his hair before slightly tugging on it to tilt his head back.
His mouth opened with the sound of a soft moan, his hands pulling me closer to him. I was practically on top of him in an awkward position due to the center console of the car but neither of us paid much attention to it. I took the opportunity to slide my tongue in and even though he lacked experience and unsure with his movements as he brushed his own tongue against mine, I couldn't help but find his innocence to be an extreme turn on.
I couldn't tell you how long we spent in this same position making out as the sunrise began to take place in the distance. It could have been minutes but felt like hours as we enjoyed the moment we were sharing. I pulled back, my teeth tugging on his bottom lip as I went, a small groan escaping him at the action.
I moved back into my seat our breathing heavy. Oliver looked dazed and in a trance as he panted for air. I glanced at the clock reading 6:02AM and cursed loudly in a panic.
"We have school in an hour! My moms going to be up in like twenty minutes she'll fucking kill me." I paled at the thought of my mother and at the very word leaving my mouth Oliver shot up and frantically nodded his head, his hands finding the door handle.
"I'll um see you later?" His eyes met my own with a look of uncertainty.
"Ya dude I'll bring you a coffee, we all need one if we're getting through today." I smiled reassuringly as he returned one of his own with a nod. I watched him watch into his home and quickly shifted my car in drive and heading in the direction of my house.
It wasn't until I stopped a red light that the realization dawned on me. I felt my insides go cold even though the rest of me suddenly began to burn up, the color draining from me once again but this time it was because I don't know what the fuck I had just done.