•Kainene•
Just when we needed time to be on our side,it worked against us,flying past with such haste that we soon found ourselves at the last week of our NECO exams. As much thrills that had begun to set in,tensions had begun to rise as well.
I tried to ignore it all,tried to ignore the thoughts which poked at me,the fact that my relationship was yet to decide if it would sink or remain over the waters. I tried to ignore the fact that if it capsized,I would be the cause.
"Kainene,what's up?" Jawal detached me from my thoughts,walking up to where I stood beside my table. My friends were nowhere to be found and I knew why. Everybody was trying to make the best out of our left over time.
Jade was inseparable from Yomi, Oghale and Temi were unfortunately still trying to find their feet and Onome,well,she had a lot of scores to settle. I felt out of place,like I wasn't where I was meant to be or doing what I was meant to be doing. Daryl was trying hard and it made me feel like I cared less. It had me wondering if that was the case.
"I'm fine,and you?" I shrugged,taking a seat on the chair while he leaned against the table. We had no examination to get over with today so it was more or less a free day. And it was going to be so until Thursday,when we would write our very final paper,Civic Education,and be officially done with high school.
"Omo...I don't really know..." he trailed off. I kept a stoic expression,which only expressed how little interest I had in whatever he had to say. "I've just been feeling a lot of remorse recently,for how I treated you that day..." he trailed off.
"You've already apologised for that Jawal,its fine really" I tried to assure. I might have not reciprocated his feelings,but I still had a heart. Jawal had apologised to me thousands of times for his actions that night,but it still bugged him. I'd forgiven him,I really had.
"What university are you going to?" I felt the urgent need to avert the direction of the conversation. "UI(University of Ibadan). My mum has been obsessed with her alma mater so she insisted that I attend the school too. What about you?" I was glad when he didn't push the former topic any further.
"I really don't know..."I started. "You have a lot of options then" he chuckled. "Not really,my mum wants me to go to Nile but my Uncle wants Stanford" I gave him a tight explanation.
"Where would you rather go?" He pushed on. "I actually want to go to Nile" I admitted. I'd been too cowardly to admit to anyone asides my girlfriends. I didn't want word to reach Daryl's ears. I chose to avoid it as long as I could.
"What's going on here?" Daryl's almost agitated voice came in as he settled beside me,casting a predatory gaze on Jawal. "Chill man,we were just talking" Jawal tried to tell him.
"I'm here now so that talk is over" Daryl sneered. I parted my lips to say something but I refrained. I knew Daryl had been on edge for a while now,even a poke from a needle could evoke an outburst from him. Talk less of when Jawal or even worse,Collins was involved.
I shot Jawal a remorseful look and he fortunately understood,taking to his feet and striding away in surrender.
"Daryl..." I started,turning to him. "Please don't defend him Kay" he told me plainly,sullenness suddenly budding in his orbs. My words hitched in my throat as I watched him. I wanted to tell him that he could have been less hostile,but it probably wasn't the best time.
"Did you guys get to play the video games yesterday?" I did the good work of changing the topic of the conversation again as he interlaced his fingers into mine.
"We did oh" He started,a grin splaying over his lips,one which I found myself mirroring. I loved the way his smile reached his eyes,the innocence and purity of his displayed teeth,the way the pitch of his voice rose and fell and he told me the tale of their midnight games,I loved it all. And I wished I could keep it that way.
I'd been rather disappointed when Onome had come to relay Sister Whitney's message to me. I'd been comfortably rested on Daryl's thighs and we'd been talking about our plans for graduation and of course,prom night.
He wanted us to wear matching colours for prom night. I found it hilarious at first but I'd sucked it in when I gathered that he was taking it quite seriously. So we got to choosing the colour we would wear and were in the middle of our little debate of if it would be maroon,indigo or black.
Whilst my heart had sunk,I peeled my head off Daryl's thighs,slid my feet into my school shoes and made my way towards Sister Whitney's office. Apparently,my mother wished to speak with me and I found it rather odd that she'd summoned me via Sister Whitney. I guess she was using her situation to her advantage.
Immense joy zapped through the very marrow of my bones as her voice met my ears through the phone. My mother congratulated me,she really congratulated me for doing well in my JAMB exam.
But then,she did well to drop the bucket of cold water over me as well. As per her tale,she'd been so elated that she'd immediately changed her mind about Nile. She wanted me to study abroad but not in Stanford. She'd said she preferred Yale University and she believed it would do me much more good than Stanford.
I'd told her that I wanted Nile but she'd insisted that I checked out the school first before making my decision. At least I had a say in the matter,she was willing to know what I wanted and that was all that mattered.
Giggles escaped me uncontrollably as I made my way back to my classroom. I was overjoyed. My mother finally acknowledged me.
I hastened my steps,scurrying to the classroom in search of the first person who always graced my mind whenever things went wrong and whenever they went as planned.
"Daryl!" I squealed,spotting him on the corridor with Yomi and Temi as soon as I finished my ascent over the stairs. "Yes" he chuckled,the edges of his lips etching into a smile as he watched me take hold of his arm.
"You won't believe what just happened" I grinned,tugging at him arm and earning a laugh from him this time. "Awwn,so Kainene can be cute like this" Temi cooed. "Omo,e shock me too oh" Yomi mused.
"Abeg you people should get out joorh. Daryl,come first" I scowled at them before pulling Daryl with me down the corridor.
"What happened?" Daryl inquired as we came to a pause at the end of the corridor. "My mother called" I grinned,the mere thought causing another blast of joy to run through me.
"Really? What did she say?" His eyes widened with concern. "She congratulated me for doing well in JAMB" I summarised. "Awwn,that's so nice" It was his turn to coo.
"I know right" I grinned. "Did she say anything about college?" I should have guessed he would ask that but I'd been too immersed in joy to do that.
"Well....." The side of my lip lopsided as I thought of all the possible ways to make this go well. "What did she say?" His tone was growing serious again. It always did whenever we talked about college and I was beginning to hate it.
The truth was,as much as I wanted to avoid it,I couldn't do so forever. We had to have this talk in the long run and we had to make our decision.
"She doesn't want me to go to Nile" My shoulders slumped,instantly regretting my decision to take the bull by its horns. "Where does she want you to go?" He questioned.
"Yale" I told him honestly. "But that's not bad,Yale isn't far from Columbia University" he chimed,glee becoming evident in his orbs. "I know" I gave a simple shrug.
"But you don't want to go there" he pressed on,his slight smile falling. "Daryl,I...it's just going to cost a lot to go abroad and I just don't want to stress my family.." I tried to explain.
"So it's now me that wants to stress my family" he grunted,crossing his arms over his chest. "Jesus,Daryl you know that's not what I'm trying to say" I told him. His anger was growing,it was evident barely by the way his index finger twitched against his arm. He was trying to keep it in and I was struggling to not let it all melt by the flames of his anger.
"Then what are you trying to say Kainene?!" He questioned agitatedly,causing me to almost flinch. "You want to go to Nile and you keep avoiding the topic. Or did you think I wouldn't know?" He gave off a sinister scoff.
I felt chills run through my spine,my gaze darted to the floor as the will to defend myself began to slowly seep out of me. "You're just making me feel like I'm the only one in this relationship. It just feels like you don't care,like I'm the only one bothering to fight...like..urgh" he rolled his eyes,clenching his palms into tighter fists.
"Daryl,its not that I don't care..." my voice had begun to shake,I just..." I trailed off,biting on my lower lip to keep the tears which were beginning to sting my eyes at bay. "..you just want to go to Nile. You just don't want to consider anything or anybody else,you just want to do what you want" his words literally separated my hearts into pieces,one fragment for each word.
"Do you know what's more painful Kainene?" His voice had become huskier now. I could swear his eyes had become glazed but the blur in mine couldn't let me.
"I know it's going to be hard but in still trying to convince my mum to let me stay here. I'm trying to at least stay in Nigeria,even if it won't be in Nile. It's hard for me too Kay,but I'm doing all I can so we won't have to..." My heart shattered at his words.
He turned his face away as the tears trickled down my face freely. I didn't realise he'd gone that far. I suddenly felt stupid and selfish. I did want to hold on, I really did. But I'd always placed my education above my feelings,I'd prioterised it.
More like,there was this crazy voice in my head telling me that there was no way our relationship was going to stand the test of time and there was no point trying to hold unto what would shatter in the nearest future. What goes up,must come down they say. Whatever has a beginning has an end,I'd believed.
I'd believed that it was only right for Daryl and I to go our separate ways and I'd tried to stick to that opinion. But his words had my feelings jabbing hard at my chest and my lacrimal glands watering. Should I have given it more thought? Should I have believed that we felt much more than mere infatuation for each other?
"I just wish you at least tried" he stated lowly before turning and taking slow yet steady steps away from me.
I didn't have it in me to fight it,so I cried. I cried whilst watching his retreating back,body shaking sobs eluding me as I did. The more he walked,the more reality dawned on me. I wouldn't be able to bear it if I woke up and Daryl wasn't in my life anymore,I wouldn't be able to live if he walked out the way he was doing now.
Taking a few steps towards the stairs,I lowered myself into the first one and buried my face into my palms. I'd never let myself be overwhelmed by my emotions,by what I felt for Daryl but today,I'd failed at holding it all in. The tears had become so uncontrollable that I'd succumbed to using the hem of my uniform skirt to wipe them away.
I just wish you at least tried. His words kept reeling through my mind. I hated the fact that I'd hurt him,I hated the fact that I'd been so selfish. I hated the fact that I hadn't seen how much he'd been struggling,I hated myself for all the silly decisions I'd been making. How did I think I could avoid it? Just how?
***
•Daryl•
The ceiling had become a certified painting because I'd stared at it for almost half an hour. My heart weighed over my chest as the scene from this afternoon kept playing in my mind no matter how hard I tried to keep it away.
She wasn't one to cry easily and I'd made her cry. I hated the fact that I'd done that. I couldn't even look at her,I didn't want her tears to stop me from saying what I wanted to. I could walk to the ends of the earth for Kainene. Hell was equivalent to a break up right now and I just couldn't let it happen.
I just wished I didn't have to speak to her the way I did. I couldn't even bring myself to look at her when she'd returned to class,although she'd left the very next minute with Onome. I didn't want to hurt her,it would never be a thought in my mind.
When I hadn't started dating her,I thought I'd seen the deepest depth of my feelings for her. But after dating her,I realised. I loved Kainene and I loved her to a fault. It wasn't that fleeting kind of love or just the type which could make butterflies take flight in the pit of your belly.
It was the type when someone asides your very family members became a pillar in your life. Kainene had snuggled into the deepest part of my heart and with each day I spent with her,I wanted another.
To be the reason for her every smile,to be able to run to her when I needed a shoulder to lean on,to be that shoulder for her,I wanted to do it for as life could let me. I'd felt everything,infatuation,lust even but this,this was different.
It was soothing,thrilling,deep,pure and desirous. It made me willing,willing to wait,wait until she could feel the same way,wait until her heart could beat as fast as mine,willing to understand and to grow,willing to change. Back then,I couldn't put it in words,just how she was different. But presently,I could and I knew.
Temi and Yomi had succeeded in pulling me out to school block despite my complaints that evening. Final year students had taken to holding mini-parties almost every night and the school did nothing to stop it. What was the point? We were literally no longer students. Just co-habitants.
The party bored me out,I had bigger troubles to think about and the music blaring through the speakers couldn't let me think me think straight. Yomi seemed determined to get himself drunk,continuously chugging down the liquor like it was some competition.
I sighed,finally making it out of C-class. I leaned on the rail,the throwing my head back and staring at the pitch black sky of the night. I missed her already,I missed my girlfriend. I missed her warmth,it felt like the perfect night to have her in my arms. Was she okay? I hated our situation,I hated that these squabbles were engulfing our last days in high school with. I'd envisioned it better than this.
"I almost thought you didn't come" I lowered my gaze to meet Jawal's figure before mine. "And how does that affect you Ibrahim?" I sneered,giving him a thorough lookdown.
"No way of course. But it would be weird if the greatest playboy of all time failed to be part of the last week rendezvous,don't you think?" He chuckled.
I emulated his action,giving off a dry laugh. "F*ck off Jawal" I told him simply,attempting to brush past him but he was quick to stop me,clutching the rib of my dresshirt and slamming me back against the rail.
"Who do you think you are to make Kainene sad Daryl?! I don't know why she picked a dirt bag like you!" He yelled at my face.
"I'll only say this once Jawal" I seethed,feeling my rage grow. It had taken the world to keep my fist away from his face all through the year and what,he comes to me asking for it. And just when I was in need of a punching bag.
"Get the fuck off me" I stated through gritted teeth. "You're ruining her you bastard! All you care about is yourself! Oh,so you've used her well enough now and you're tired right?! What is your freaking problem Daryl?!!" He yelled atop his voice,grabbing the fabric over my shoulders.
My hands fisted and my eye lids fell shut. In a fluid action,I took his hands off my shirt and shoved him against the wall,hard enough to hear it thud.
"A bastard like you can never have her! She'll come to know it and she'll leave you,eventually" He cackled just before I could walk through the door. And that did the trick.
With every sense of logic,restraint and obligation forgotten,I grabbed Jawal and threw my fist right across his jaw. It brought him crashing into the window behind him and bringing it down with him to the floor so it shattered beneath him.
The sound had only attracted the attention of our classmates as they all rushed to the corridors to find out exactly what was going on. They'd been too late though,because Jawal had taken to his feet and done the same to me.
"I get your energy today,you dey crase!" I'd fumed.
That had only multiplied my anger. Taking him by his collar,my left leg kicked against his right one so he came dropping to one knee. I'd instantly brought my elbow to his neck which had his head colliding against the wall next to him.
"Guy stop! Daryl stop!" Temi yelled,pushing through the throng of people who had gathered us and holding me back.
"Why you dey hold me now?! Abi the guy wants to fight,he should fight me!" I yelled,pushing Temi away and motioning towards Jawal,who Collins was now picking off the floor.
"Wetin dey do una sef?! Una no dey taya?!" Collins yelled back,seeing how blood now stained almost every part of Jawal's shirt.
"Collins,if you no shut up now ehn,na you go be next,try me!" Yomi yelled atop his voice to help Temi in his course.
"This is all you people know how to do! Come fight if you fit! Papa's boy!" Collins mocked Yomi. "You dey mad!" Yomi suddenly fumed,his feet making contact with Collins' head and kicking him down to the floor.
That was where everything went out of control. Yomi and I took out whatever pent up frustrations we had on Collins and Jawal. They'd always wanted to evoke this response from us,they'd always tried to. But they'd done it at a bad time,they'd done it right when I could see nothing but red.
It had taken Sele,Temi and Andrew to pull us off them and the rest of our classmates to keep us away. The noise from the shattering windows as well as our classmates who had huddled around us had probably informed the whole block of the fight. It was the worst fight I'd ever gotten into.
Despite the injuries I'd sustained,I didn't want to stop. I'd done much worse to Jawal and I just couldn't give up on beating more blood out of him. And I wasn't going to,not until I heard her voice.
"Daryl,its okay,stop!"
Well,I dont know what I wrote. But I hope you like it. Wrote it all at one go...I have to give myself a pat on the back😁. Thanks for reading🤗💕.