๐ŸŒ™๐™Š๐˜พ ๐™๐™€๐™‘๐™„๐™€๐™’๐™Ž๐ŸŒ™

Von trxshly

2.5K 43 393

๐‘๐„๐•๐ˆ๐„๐–๐’ : ๐‚๐‹๐Ž๐’๐„๐ƒ So, what is your OC like? Are they realistic and original, or clichรฉ and overpo... Mehr

( 0. ) Intro
( 1. ) Velvis
( 2. ) Azazil
( 3. ) Vanath
( 4. ) Hiroto
( 5. ) Jesse
( 6. ) Darin
( 7. ) Todd
( 8. ) Lael
( 9. ) Aiko
( 10. ) Rhys
( 11. ) Kami
( 12. ) Hosuh
( 13. ) Hunter
( 14. ) Kaho
( 16. ) Nami
( 17. ) Wakumi
( 18. ) Ambrosia
( 19. ) Crescent
( 20. ) Party Animal
( 21. ) Stormstar
( 22. ) Maemi
( 23. ) Roseanne
( 25. ) Disclaimer

( 15. ) Softbriar

41 1 2
Von trxshly

—🌸—

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂

Name: Softkit, Softpaw, Softbriar. ("Soft-" for his soft pelt, and "-briar" for the herbs he works with.)
Nice explanations for Softbriar's name. However, as a medicine-cat, Softbriar will probably work with a vast majority of herbs, so why would briar herbs stick out? Are they the type of herbs Softbriar prefers to use? Did he uncover something about them, which is why they become significant enough to be part of his name?

Clan: Riverclan (former), Starclan (current.)

Gender: Male (Technically his pronouns are He/him, but he doesn't really mind.)

Age: 132 moons (about 13 years) at death.

Rank: kit, medicine-cat apprentice, full medicine-cat.

We're off to a good start! 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

Overall: When Softbriar was younger, his father made his disdain for Medicine-Cats very clear. (It's a little complicated, but in the short, his father was very close with his brother who died of a sickness the Medicine-Cats couldn't cure.) This made him feel that if he wasn't actively helping his clanmates, he was confirming his fathers' view on Med-Cats. This leads to him struggle a lot with his self-worth as an apprentice, but luckily, Rattleberry always had a lot of time for him. As He gets older, Softbriar develops his even temperament and patients that makes him such a good Med-Cat. He can keep a cool head in most situations, and is actually a lot brighter then many would guess. He can't handle emotional confrontations of any sort, or anger in others. He just shuts down completely. He is quite sensible about most other things, but no one, not even Rattleberry, can help him past this block. He also struggles with dissatisfaction in cats around him, seeing it as his responsibility to make others happy. Softbriar prefers to act undignified and somewhat silly, as serious things make him feel nervous and not in control. He taught himself to be charismatic at a young age, and also took a lot of interest in how to read people (or cats I suppose). Not in a sinister way, he just found it interesting.
Everything looks good here! Softbriar has fitting traits for a medicine-cat. Though he does have a rather silly attitude, because of his charisma and intelligence, it's not a surprise that others would have trust in him. Softbriar can also remain calm in most situations apart from emotional confrontations, which he will experience somewhat often as a medicine-cat, making this a great way to create conflict. Softbriar's need to make others satisfied is a rather fun trait, seeing as how it will cause problems with self-esteem but also will encouraged Softbriar to be more ambitious and hardworking.

Softbriar's habit of watching others can be useful in identifying other's feelings/emotions, their injuries, problems they may be facing, etc. However, despite being an overall useful skill, it can come off as creepy. Do what you want with this. Perhaps this fun quirk Softbriar has can lead to creating both conflicts and solutions at one point.

Overall, very well done! 

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

(The creator of this OC has mentioned that they aren't sure how cat genetics work, which do effect the cat's appearance.)

Overall: He is a large, sturdily built tom with soft paws and a long, fluffy tail. Softbriar's pelt is of pale, grey/brown tabby fur and his belly, paws, neck, chest and muzzle are a cream/white colour. He has soft, rounded ears that quite match his sweet personality. Bits of herbs can often be seen tangled in his long fur. The only scar Softbriar has is a narrow nick on his right ear. Wobblepaw likes for him to put a flower in it, like an earring. He also has pink paw-pads and nose along with round, sage eyes (just like his mothers').
I understand that genetics can get complicated at times, but from what I can tell, you used genetics correctly for Softbriar. And even if I'm wrong, Softbriar has an overall realistic appearance for a cat. The herbs stuck within Softbriar's fur and his scar really make him stand out, though! 

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒

Rattleberry: Sleek, dark silver tabby with warm, grey eyes. She was a caring mentor and something of a parent figure to Softbriar. Rattleberry always had a good way with kits/apprentices, and she was no different with Softpaw. (Mentor)

Loudpurr: Shaggy, cream-furred tom. Softbriar wasn't at all close with his father as they shared very different opinions on what made a good cat, however, while they didn't have the happiest of relationships, they would help each other if they needed to. (Father)

Startledleap: Long-legged brown tabby with pale green eyes. Softbriar and his mother are on good terms. She was very supporting of his choice to become a medicine-cat, and also one of the only clan cats to mentor one of their own kits (Stingleaf). (Mother)

Tarpelt: Dark grey/brown tabby with white paws and chest. Both Softbriar and Tarpelt would playfight as kits and Tarpelt always ending up winning. Softbriar never minded, he just liked spending time together. They had a fun kind of tough-love relationship but would never really talk about their feelings or problems. (Sister)

Stingleaf: Fluffy, warm-brown tabby with white paws and chest. Stingleaf was one of the only cats he would completely stop worrying about being likeable with and just talk. When Stingleaf was having a hard time mentally, Softbriar used what he had learnt from Rattleberry to help her figure things out. (Sister)

Mintkit: Fluffy cream kit with a patch of tabby fur near his nose. Mintkit was Softbriar's twin brother but died soon after birth so they didn't have much of a relationship. (Brother)

Wobblestep: Small, short-furred, black she-cat with wide, amber eyes. Softbriar cared deeply for Wobblestep and saw her as his responsibility as her father had been killed before she was kitted. She would frustrate him sometimes but it never lasted for long. They always looked out for each other. (Apprentice)

Clearstrike: Sleek ginger and white tom with blue eyes. Softbriar does his best to forgive Clearstrike, but never fully could. He always wonders about how his life might have been if Clearstrike had never joined Riverclan. Rattleberry is helping him with counselling in Starclan.

Everything looks good here! All the relationships are realistic for both Softbriar's backstory and personality.

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

Softkit is kitted in late greenleaf along with his other siblings, and spends his first 4 months in a cold, hungry world. His only brother doesn't make it through his first night, so when newleaf comes to RiverClan, it is like being born again. He sees the way his clanmates change as greenleaf comes, and decides he wants to make them look like that every day.
His sisters want to be warriors, willing to fight and kill for their clan, but this isn't for Softkit. He is sure it isn't right to harm others and decides that he wants to be a Medicine-Cat. To heal and not to harm. His new-found purpose burns away like a little flame. When he trips over his paws as Loudpurr & Startledleap (father & mother respectively) try to teach him to hunt or when Tarkit beats him in a playfight for the 100th time or when Stingkit knows the names of all the prey, the little flame burns away inside him. keeping him warm.

When he proudly announces to his parents that he is to be a medicine cat, the results are mixed. Startledleap is happy for him and says she will talk to Rattleberry about it. Loudpurr on the other hand, is livid. He thinks that being a warrior is the only way to help the clan and that Softkit would be failing him and the rest of his clanmates if he chooses to be a medicine-cat. He says as much, and this is a lot for any kit to hear from someone they hold in high-esteem, and it is the first time Softkit has seen anyone actually angry. Needless to say, Loudpurr's words never really go away. The next moon is unbelievably uncomfortable. His parents barely speak, and Softkit can tell that Startledleap is furious with Loudpurr for speaking to him that way. he hates the idea of anyone being angry or upset on his behalf. Luckily, his siblings still support him, and he resolves to stick to his original plan of being apprenticed to Rattleberry.

Startledleap must have talked to Rattleberry, because the day Softkit turns 6 moons he is training with his new mentor. It is everything he'd hoped for, and more, but he can't shake what Loudpurr had said to him. He doesn't mention this to anyone, and thinks he is being silly for being so upset by it. Rattleberry is an excellent teacher, making up games with all the herbs, and the moons flew by- Softpaw always doing his very best and pushing himself to his limits to learn all he could. Eventually, Softpaw becomes Softbriar, and Rattleberry starts slacking off as she gets older and closer to retiring to the elders den. This puts a lot of pressure on Softbriar, but he thinks that this sort of thing is normal and doesn't want to say anything. Even if he technically is a full Med-Cat, he won't be fully trained for another year or so, and is definitely feeling the strain. He laughs and smiles and comforts as normal, but he feels dead on his paws.

Two moons he goes on like this until he faints in the middle of camp and is forced to talk to Rattleberry. He tells her everything; about Loudpurr and what he had said, about not wanting to be a burden to the clan and that he just couldn't cope with being the only Medicine-cat. Rattleberry is very sorry that she has miss-calculated and says that she had simply assumed that Softbriar could handle things because he looked like he was doing so well. (She also adds that she had known Loudpurr as an apprentice and says that he had a head full of feathers.) This makes him feel a lot better and they work side by side for the next 25 moons until Rattleberry is sadly taken by greencough during a particularly harsh leafbare.

By now Softbriar is well-trained enough to manage by himself, but he misses his mentor deeply. The den feels all empty and wrong. The next moons are very hard, and a number of cats are taken ill- including Loudpurr. one night, when his thoughts are particularly restless, he sits and watches him sleeping. Loudpurr would be dead if it weren't for Softbriar. He had been out patrolling the Riverclan boarder when a dog had come out of no where and bitten him. Its Twoleg had hooked it back on its lead, and Loudpurr had been able to make it back to camp, but the wound is bad. Loudpurr wakes and their eyes meet. In that moment, He knows that Loudpurr knows what Softbriar has done for him. Thanks would have been too much to hope for, but there is a sort of understanding between them from then on.

A few moons later, the leader at the time (Moiststar) notices that Softbriar is being recluse and decides to give him an apprentice. Her name is Wobblepaw, and she is a much needed spark of life for Softbriar. He and Wobblepaw bond quickly- making inside jokes and whispering together long into the night so as not to wake the rest of the camp. Her mind wonders a lot so it is a challenge to teach her, but she wants to learn and Softbriar has enough patience for the both of them. That is the happiest he has ever been. Chatting with Wobblepaw and lying in the sun all day, showing her how to cure bellyaches or some-such. Softbriar also starts harnessing his way with people (or cats) for a more mental way of healing. He becomes one of the best therapists in all the clans. Five happy years.

Then Softbriar gets a vision. It is of two rivulets, one slightly smaller then the other. a rock comes tumbling down a hill, on route to block the water of the smaller runnel, but it catches on the edge of the bigger rivulet and tips back into it, cutting off the flow of water but leaving the smaller stream flowing strong.

He doesn't get much time to think on it because a loner who calls himself Clearstrike joins Riverclan after returning some kits he "found" that had been stolen by windclan. He wonders if he could be the pebble from his vision, but can't find anything to support his theory. Wobblepaw, now Wobblestep, is obsessed. Clearstrike turns out to be the perfect warrior; loyal, brave and an amazing hunter and fighter. In truth, he is everything Loudpurr wanted in a son. This worries him, as there is something about Clearstrike that just feels off to Softbriar. Clearstrike stays for a couple moons, periodically disappearing for a few hours every-other day. Wobblestep keeps missing herb gathering days and following Clearstrike around instead of seeing to her chores, and Even Softbriar's patience is running out.

He decides to follow Clearstrike out of camp and learns that he has been feeding information to Windclan (who are preparing to drive Riverclan out and claim their territory that night.) in exchange for prey. He rushes home to tell Moiststar, but finds that Wobblestep hasn't been seen all day and, scared that Clearstrike has done something to her, decides to go and look for her before telling Moiststar about Clearstrike.

He follows her scent (with growing horror) on to Thunderclan territory and all the way to Snakerocks. Softbriar recalls the night before, when Clearstrike had been boasting about sneaking into Thunderclan territory and killing an Adder. And now Wobblestep is going to try to imitate him. He catches up with her as a snake to her left readies itself to strike. She hasn't seen it and there is only one acceptable option in Softbriar's eyes. He leaps between Wobblestep and the adder, taking the bite. Wobblestep is horrified, and starts to rush around, trying to stop the venom spreading, but Softbriar makes her stop and listen to him. He tells her about Clearstrike and Windclan and that she has to get back and tell Moiststar as soon as possible to prepare for the coming attack.

He breaths his last, and Wobblestep starts back across Thunderclan territory, dragging Softbriar's body with her. She runs into a Thunderclan patrol, but she is so very distraught, and Softbriar so very dead that they helped her back to Riverclan instead of chasing her off. Thunderclan backs Riverclan in the coming battle, and there are no casualties. A vigil is held for Softbriar, and he is mourned by the rest of his family. His death actually brings Startledleap and Loudpurr closer together again, something his ghost is very happy about.

Now he is up in Starclan, Softbriar reunites with his old mentor Rattleberry, who helps him with the trauma of his death. He meets with Wobblestep at the Moonstone that full moon and tells her about his vision. It becomes just another one of their little jokes: Killed by a rock-snake at Snakerocks.

Now that's one good backstory! Filled with both heartwarming and sorrowful moments, it helped shape Softbriar in various ways. Hopefully Softbriar would be remembered, not only for figuring out that Clearstrike is evil, but for being an overall sweet and good cat.

It's totally cool if you decided to leave Clearstrike's backstory, but explaining why Wobblestep obsessed over Clearstrike will make it better. Was it because of his looks and/or personality? Did Clearstrike do something very impressive? Did Clearstrike manipulate Wobblestep? Did Wobblestep get a sign (dream, vision, prophecy, omen, etc) that made her decide to obsess over Clearstrike?

Overall, very well done! Because you basically told Softbriar's whole life, it makes sense why it's long. And, plus, there's generally nothing bad about long backstories. 

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀

-Wobblestep got her name because she was ridiculously clumsy as a kit.

-his long fur often gets in the way and is a pain to keep clean.

-Softbriar is an Asexual/Aromantic

-When he was an apprentice Softbriar took a lot of interest in how to read people (or cats, I suppose). Not in a sinister way, he just found it interesting.

-Softbriar used to be named Sourlight but I changed it.

-still very much a WIP (work in progress)

-he doesn't like swimming despite being a Riverclan cat because his long fur gets way too heavy when wet.

-Softbriar got the nick in his ear play-fighting with Tarpelt as a kit.

𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋

Softbriar lived a fulfilling life, though it was a bit short, judging by how cats live up to sixteen years on average. 

Though Softbriar keeps a rather happy and fun attitude, and remains calm and collected in most situations, he can't deal with emotional conflicts. After declaring that Softbriar wanted to become a medicine-cat, a few foul words from his father led Softbriar to struggle with his self-esteem for a large portion of his life. However, judging by how Softbriar has a need to keep others happy, this isn't much of a surprise. It's quite disappointing when your very own father shows dislike in your goal, espacially for a sensitive cat like Softbriar.

However, Softbriar's personality isn't random. It all comes from parts, and sometimes even small moments, of his life. This not only makes Softbriar more realistic, but also easier to connect and understand, even if you don't share his personality.

Softbriar's life was filled with all kinds of experiences, both happy and sad. However, after meeting the right cats, with one being Rattleberry, Softbriar finally got himself on a better path. He passed on this happiness upon others, notably Wobblestep and Stingleaf, helping them become happier cats. Unfortunately, Softbriar sacreficed his own life to save Wobblestep from a snake, after realizing that Clearstrike was the enemy. Though he managed to tell Wobblestep about his findings, it was too late for Softbriar, and he ended up passing away. Hopefully, though, Softbriar would be remembered for his herioc actions. Even if most of them weren't as flashy as defeating enemies in battle or discovering new herbs, but more like being a reliable medicine-cat and a loving friend to many.

I personally liked Softbriar's habits/quirks and other small details others tend to ignore. These include Softbriar's disliking of swimming, herbs being stuck in his fur, his liking for watching others, and how his fur is a pain to keep clean. These aren't nessacerily important to a character's story, but nonetheless, I find them fun and also realistic for characters to have. Rather we know it or not, we all have cute habits/quirks about ourselves.

A few improvements you could make was the advice I put. You could also add sections for Softbriar's likes, dislikes, fears, and goals. These are useful in creating tension and character development, as well as making Softbriar more realistic. They could also give you a better grasp on who Softbriar is.

Overall, very well done!

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