Do not ask me why I did that. I would never ever have a proper answer that sounds plausible except that I really wanted to do it.
Having Kit holding onto me and just honestly sharing his feelings triggered some deep set unexplainable emotion within me. His touch was setting me wild and it was not of lust. It was not the need to bed him. It was one of protection, the fact that this fellow needed to be protected by me at all times and only I could do it for him. Rather, I am the only one he should allow.
Feelings were very complex and this was a very good example. I just kissed him, hoping he will be able to understand my feelings. I broke away from the kiss, wary I could either get slapped or scolded badly by this fiesty cat.
But what I didn't expect was Kit kissing me back. He leaned forward and kissed me back, as equally as I had done. I could feel his desire seeping into the kiss. He grabbed me by my hair as he kissed me back, wanting me to open up and allow him to deepen the kiss. I complied and all I had was 1 fellow, kissing the hell out of me. My hands started roaming downwards and I started pressing myself against him in desire. He responded back as equally. Just then, his hands dropped to my waistband, fingering it as he kissed me and my senses woke up. I gently pushed him away, not wanting to do anything else. I really didn't want us to do something in the spur of the moment and end up regretting it. If Kit regretted or hated me after this, I could never live it down. He was way too important to me.
I pulled away gently as I caught his face sulking and sullen. I wanted to laugh but figured it will be the worst possible move.
"I can't do that. If you ended up regretting it, I will never be able to live it down. I really do not know what feelings you have towards me but I am not going to pull you into a 1 night stand or do things with you whilst we figure it out. You are way too precious for that.".
I uttered it and stepped back, running my hands through my hair n groaning inwardly. I saw Kit step back too, mirroring my actions and then just taking off to the bathroom. I let him be, we both needed to cool down.
This night was just messing both of us up. So badly.